Chapter 27

Zach

“Zach?” I hear Randall’s voice and look up from the magazine I had been reading as I waited for him in his lobby. He didn’t make me wait long, and I stand up from the couch I was sitting on.

“Hey… I’m sorry to show up unannounced like this, but do you have a minute to talk?”

Randall beams at me and beckons me forward. “For you, I have all the time in the world. Come on… let’s go back to my office.”

I follow behind Randall, my heart beating with fear and excitement. When I woke up this morning, still wrapped up sweetly in Moira’s arms, my decision was made. I was going to stay here… with her… and start a new life. A life maybe I was supposed to have all along. A life reclaimed.

I also knew, deep in my heart, this is what Paraila was hoping for me.

But I needed Randall’s help… so the first order of business was to swallow my pride and ask for it.

I had slipped out of bed gently, leaving Moira softly slumbering. I know I wore her out the night before, and after experiencing the most intense, most erotically overwhelming orgasm of my entire life, I was wrecked as well. I had never slept more deeply or more peacefully since the day I was born.

When I woke up, I knew that had nothing to do with the fact that I claimed Moira’s ass as my own last night. It had everything to do with the fact that she loved me, and I was pretty fucking sure that I would die without her. So I took a quick shower, got dressed, and made a call to Sam to ask him to drive me to Randall’s office in downtown Atlanta.

Randall leads me into his office, softly shutting the door behind us. He takes a seat on his leather couch, foregoing the formality of sitting behind his desk. I take a chair opposite, placing my hands on my knees… my body tight with anxiety.

“What’s wrong?” he asks with concern in his eyes. “You look about ready to explode.”

“I want to stay here… in the States. With Moira.”

Understanding laced with pure happiness seeps into Randall’s eyes, and his teeth flash at me. He claps his hands together once and says, “My boy… that’s fantastic news. I’m sure Moira is so happy. I knew there was something special between you two.”

“Actually… I haven’t told her yet. I need to get some things figured out first.”

Randall leans forward, his face dead serious. Leaning his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, he asks simply, “What can I do to help?”

“I need a job… some way to…” But my words falter. How do I say this without sounding like a caveman? “I need some way I can take care of Moira. No… that’s not right, because she can take care of herself. I just… I need some way to contribute. To be useful. I need a job, and I’d like to work for you. Maybe in one of the stores… stocking shelves or something like that.”

There.

It’s out.

I’ve asked for his help, and all I can do is wait to see what he’ll do for me.

“Zach… you have a place at Cannon’s. And I will have you start at the bottom and work your way up, so you can learn every facet of this business. Because if you stay here… and you work for me, I expect you will go places and be right at the helm with me one day. But for now… I don’t want you here.”

I blink in surprise at him, so sure he was going to immediately put me in the store that’s located in the mall not three miles from my house. “But… I need something now… a way to make money.”

“What you need is your education,” he says with a serious look. “I propose letting me help you get that. You’d need to get your GED first, and then you need to go on to college. You’re bright, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t flourish in an academic setting. You’ll be a little behind, but I’ll get a tutor to help you get caught up.”

“School? College?” I ask, dumbfounded. It had never occurred to me.

“Yes, and once you complete your undergrad, I’ll put you to work here. I’ll want you to go on and get your MBA, but you can do that and work part time.”

I appreciate the strong confidence in his words, but this just won’t do. I don’t have time for that. “I need to earn a living now. I need to be able to contribute,” I tell Randall with sincerity. “I cannot accept charity.”

Randall leans back in the couch and taps a finger against his lips while he appraises me. “How about this… you can work part time at Cannon’s while you get your education. It won’t be enough to cover tuition and books, but if you let me pay for that, the part time work can help you contribute to yours and Moira’s household expenses. I assume you will stay with her?”

“That was my plan. Which means I’ll have to go to school somewhere near her home if I can swing it. Or at least within traveling distance.”

“Trust me… I donated enough money to Northwestern when I hired Moira that I guarantee you’ll get a spot there as long as your grades are good.”

Good grades? Oh, fuck. Can I really do this? Can I really buckle down and actually go to college?

Fuck yeah, I can, roars within my head, because I’d do anything to make this work with Moira.

“I accept,” I tell Randall with a smile of thanks. “And I’ll pay you back every dime you invest in to me.”

Randall chuckles and stands from the couch. “Not necessary. I consider it investing in Cannon’s future. But I will accept a hearty handshake to seal the deal.”

I stand from my chair and reach out to Randall’s outstretched hand. On impulse, I step forward and wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a quick hug. “Thank you, Randall. This means a lot to me.”

When I pull back, his eyes are wet with emotion, and he gives a cough. “Yes, well… it’s my pleasure. Truly, and can I finally say, Zach… welcome home, my boy.”

Sam drops me off at my house, and I practically leap past the four short steps that lead up to the porch. I shove the door open, calling out Moira’s name.

I see her immediately sitting at the kitchen table, her laptop open and her cell phone lying beside it. She turns to me, and her face is deathly white. Standing from the chair, she walks toward me, reaching out her hands. I link mine with hers and ask with a sickening feeling in my stomach. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sorry, Zach,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “But Father Gaul called a little bit ago. The Matica raided Caraica two days ago. Father Gaul immediately hiked out to a river town that had satellite phone service to call me.”

“Paraila?” I ask, my throat feeling as if it were filled with sand and my heart galloping away from me.

“Injured. He was shot with an arrow, but Father Gaul thinks he’ll be okay. It went into his shoulder and the wound looks fine.”

“And the others?” I ask in a hoarse whisper.

Moira’s eyes drop to the ground, and she doesn’t answer me right away.

“Moira,” I yell at her. “What about the others?”

“Several are dead… I’m not sure who. Some of the children were taken. The village was burned to the ground.”

My head tilts back, my neck seemingly unable to hold it up. My mouth opens, and I roar in pain, “FUCK!”

Moira’s arms are around me, squeezing me tight… plastering her body as close to mine as she can get. “I’m so sorry, Zach. So, so sorry.”

My arms hang limply at her side, unable to accept her comfort. Fury blazes through me… fury at Paraila for making me leave, rage at Randall for insisting I come, and bitterness toward Moira for enticing me to stay away from my home and those that needed me.

I peel Moira away from me, heading into the bedroom. Rummaging through the closet, I pull out my backpack and throw it on the bed. I quickly find the cargo pants and bush shirts Moira had bought for me to wear in the Amazon, along with some socks and my hiking boots. I stuff it all haphazardly into the pack and then reach into my top drawer to pull out my passport.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Moira walk into the room. My head snaps to hers, and I bark, “I need you to arrange for me to get back to Caraica. Get me in as close as you can, and I’ll hike the rest of the way. I’ll need some of those dehydrated rations and water tablets. Anything else you can think of.”

“Zach… there’s no rush. The raid is done, and Paraila is going to be just fine. If you wait, I’ll go—”

“Just fucking do it,” I yell at her, my fists clenching in rage. “It’s the least you can do for pulling me away from there in the first place.”

Moira’s face blanches, and tears fill her eyes. It feels like an arrow has pierced my heart, so terrible do I feel for what I just said.

But I won’t take it back, because the brackish bitterness is choking any further words out of me.

How could I have been so stupid as to have left? What kind of selfishness must have been living within me… to have caused me to abandon the people that needed me most? Paraila could have died. Others did die, I think, while choking on the pain of those thoughts.

More importantly, how could I have ever let myself get sucked into this world… receiving its pleasures and frivolity? I turned a blind eye to my people all because I got infatuated with a little bit of pussy.

My heart clenches as I think these vile thoughts about Moira, knowing deep down they are unfair to her. But the guilt and shame is pressing in on me so hard that I have to abandon my love and desire for her. There’s no room… not when I’m filled with black rage, tortured pain, and now an insatiable need for revenge.

“Zach,” Moira pleads with me softly. “Will you just hold up a minute… let’s talk about this first?”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m going back and if you won’t help me get there, I’ll go to Randall. He’ll do it.”

Moira nods in understanding, turning toward the bedroom door. “Of course, I’ll make all the arrangements. I’ll come with you.”

“No,” I say with an icy voice. “I don’t want you to.”

Because there’s no point.

There’s nothing she can do, and her life will only be in danger, because I know as sure as I’m standing here, ready to tear my hair out in frustration, that the tribe is already planning a retaliation.

Moira’s face crumbles before me, and her shoulders slump. Resignation fills her face, and she blinks the tears away. “Okay,” she says softly. “I’ll get it handled for you. You should call Randall and tell him goodbye.”

Yes, that’s a good idea.

I can’t believe just an hour ago, I sat in his office and made grand plans for my future. Now I would be calling him to put those plans to rest and move on with my life.

I’ve gotten myself a little bit under control. I’ve wrapped my head around what has happened, as well as the fact that it will be a full three days of travel before I can get to Caraica, so I’ve decided to stop trying to worry myself into a frenzy. Moira managed to get me on the next flight out to Georgetown, Guyana and, from there, two charter flights to take me directly to the Amazon River in Brazil. From there, I’d have to figure out how to get a dugout canoe to make my way by water to Caraica, but I wasn’t worried about that. I’d steal one if I had to.

Overall, she’d managed to cut probably at least a day’s travel off my journey by bringing me in through Guyana, for which I’m extremely grateful. However, I haven’t even found the voice with which to thank her for her efforts because I’m afraid to talk to her. I’m afraid of all the things she could possibly say to me to change my mind, and while the pain of what happened to my tribe still throbs deep within me, I’m now filled with excruciating pain over the fact that I’m leaving Moira behind.

Leaving behind my new hopes and dreams that had just been bubbling up with excitement this morning.

All gone… turned to ash in a terrible change of circumstances.

Moira insisted on driving me to the airport, and the silence lays heavy between us. Her grip on the steering wheel is so tight that her knuckles are white, and she’s chewing on her bottom lip. I want so badly to reach out, stroke her hair, touch her face… and tell her it will all be okay.

But it won’t.

Not for either of us.

The airport exit looms ahead, and she turns on her blinker to take it. My chest cramps with anxiety and the wrongness of all of this, but I push it aside. I have to be strong… for my people. For Paraila.

And I hope that Moira can be strong enough for herself as I leave her behind.

Moira navigates her way to the proper terminal, weaving among traffic until she finds a place to pull up alongside the curb outside of United Airlines.

We both get out of the car, and I wait for her to circle around. She hands me my tickets that she had printed off at the house and then presses another envelope into my hand.

“Here’s some cash,” she says.

“It won’t do me any good,” I say as I try to push it back at her. “I’ll have to barter something else to get a canoe.”

She shakes her head at me, her eyes haunted. “Not for a canoe. When you land near the river, find someone to buy some rifles from. Take the time to learn how to use them before you leave.”

I blink in surprise at her. “Guns?”

“You’re going after the Matica, aren’t you?” she asks simply.

“You know we are.”

“Then I want you to have the upper hand. Use the modern technology available.”

My head starts swimming. “You want me to buy guns?”

Tears fill Moira’s eyes, and she nods her head. “I want you to be safe, Zach. I want you to not get killed. Guns will help.”

My fingers curl around the envelope and my arms slide around her, pulling her into my body. For the last time, I bend down, smell her sweet hair, and feel her heartbeat against me. Laying my cheek against the top of her head, I take the moment to revel in her touch… her love… her sadness.

I’ll take that sadness with me to the grave, whether that is when we raid the Matica or years from now, when I’m probably dying of my battered heart.

“You’re not coming back, are you?” she asks quietly.

“No,” I tell her. “I’m not.”

Moira pulls back and leans up on her toes, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Then go with my love and know that I’ll never regret a moment we shared together. You’ll always reside in my heart, Zacharias.”

Agony washes through me as I step away from Moira. She blinks those ethereal green eyes, as verdant as the Amazon, and crystal tears spill down her cheeks. My stomach cramps and my chest tightens in pain.

Reaching out one last time, I stroke my fingers along her cheek. “Goodbye, Moira.”

Turning away from me, she heads around the front of the car. She never looks back, and I watch as she climbs in and pulls away.

Pulls away from me forever.

Taking a deep breath, I raise my face to the modern sun and feel its heat for the last time. Then I turn and head into the airport, so I can get back to my real life.