Emmalin
Click
Click
Click
I jumped at the third click and opened my eyes. My head felt so heavy, as if a ton of bricks were on it, and I was so tired.
"Hey, you're up."
I gasped at seeing Chace in bed next to me. He was on top of the comforter, lying back casually against the headboard, and I was underneath it. I tried burying myself deeper under the covers, and he smiled. "Oh, we have nothing to hide from each other, Emmalin." His smile quickly faded as he tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "My humor sucks. I know, I'm sorry." He reached over and handed me a bottle of water. I looked at the bedside clock and was shocked to see it was just past two in the afternoon.
"Chace, would you excuse us."
I looked up to see Grayson standing at the door. His hair was slightly damp, and he was freshly shaven, different than when I saw him last. His gaze held mine, and with his presence at the door, even though there was another man in bed next to me, he knew who I belonged to. We both knew. His eyes moved to Chace briefly, and he gave him a brief nod of gratitude as he left and closed the door. It was just the two of us. I wanted to lash out. I wanted to scream and yell how dare he do what he did, but most of all, I wanted him to tell me that everything that happened yesterday was all a dream. That Tyler hadn't died. It was all a mistake. One big mistake. So I'll sit here and wait.
I'll wait.
He crossed over and sat next to me, and I shut my eyes. I'll wait.
He grasped my face in both hands.
I'll wait.
"Look at me, baby."
I squeezed my eyes tighter.
I'll wait.
He kissed my lips so gently, at first I didn't think they touched. "Look. At. Me."
I slowly opened my eyes and stared into those cerulean eyes. The ones I loved. He kissed the top of my forehead and sighed. Then he leaned forward into my ear and whispered. To this day, I can remember every word verbatim. It was the day my heart stopped.
"Tyler's cremation is in three days. The arrangements have been made. Everything is set. I am so, so sorry for your loss, baby. I really, truly am. Tyler was a great man, and will truly be missed." I tried removing myself from his grasp, but his hold around my waist tightened.
"You can fight me. You can yell, whatever you need to do, but I'm not letting you go." His voice was calming as he spoke. I felt tears springing in my eyes, threatening to spill over. “I’m here for you. We’re all here for you.”
"I'm fine," was all I could mutter. "I'm fine, Grayson." I didn't know if I was saying it to believe it for myself, or for him to believe it.
Make that the last time you lie to me.
I stopped struggling against him.
Make that the last time you lie to me.
“How’s Molly?” I whispered.
He shifted slightly, but didn’t loosen his grip. “She’s good. Remarkably well. Her parents arrived a few hours ago and took her home. She’ll be back in time for the ceremony.”
I nodded. I felt drained. Exhausted. Physically and mentally. I wiped away the tears that had managed to fall. People die every day. “I’m tired.” He loosened his grip, and I fell back against the pillow, curling up into a ball. It hadn’t even been a full 24 hours yet. I wanted the day to be over. I needed the day to be over.
“What can I do?”
I shut my eyes and took a deep breath before turning to him. I reached up and traced his face. He had a few cuts and bruises marring the right side. “How’s your arm?” I whispered.
“It’s a little stiff, but I’ll live.” He shut his eyes at the last word. “Shit, Emmalin, I’m sorry.”
I gave him a small smile. There was a knock at the door, and Isabella stuck her head in.
“Hi. I have the food that was just delivered.”
I didn’t want food. I didn’t want anything. I wanted people to leave me alone so I could sleep. Isabella hopped into the bed next to me. She gave me a sad smile, before placing an arm around me.
“Good, thank you. She needs to eat something.” Grayson pulled out a carton of soup. It smelled delicious, but my stomach turned.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Please. Just half. You’re already pale, I can’t have you getting sick on me. Just eat it, baby. Please.”
“They make the best chicken soup, Emmalin. They even made it with no carrots. Grayson told them how you hated cooked carrots.” I glared at Isabella as she held out a spoon and smiled. I hated her.
“I said I wasn’t hungry.”
Her face fell, and she turned to Grayson. So, I was being a bitch. I really didn’t care.
“Emmalin.” His voice had hardened. “The sooner you eat, the sooner you can lie back down.”
I glared back at him, my expression turning icy. “Why? Did you drug it?” He winced as if I had slapped him. I might as well have. I wanted to. I scooted off the bed and went into the master bathroom, locking the door. If they weren’t going to give me my privacy, then at least I could get it in there.
I stripped off my clothes and stepped into the shower. I reached for the hot water handle and froze. The old me would’ve turned it on and stayed underneath it until my skin blistered. Until the skin hurt so bad, I couldn’t feel it anymore. I took a step back until my back was against the wall, and I slid down it, until my knees were against my chest.
I felt myself starting to shake until the first tear finally fell. Then the second. Then so many, I lost count. The pain and hurt finally caught up to me, and sitting in the corner of the shower, that’s where I was able to let it out.
Hours must’ve passed because I woke up in bed, and Grayson’s body was pressed against mine Even pissed, I still loved him. I didn’t like the fact that he drugged me, but I also understood why he did it. We both knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I turned around so I was facing him. He was watching me, which only brought on a fresh set of tears.
His hand moved to wipe one away, and I closed my eyes at his touch. Taking a deep breath, I looked into his eyes finally. “I’m sorry. I’m trying. I really am, but right now this is all of me I can give anyone. I can’t give much more right now.”
He nodded as he pulled me tighter. “We’ll get through this, okay? I’ll help you. We’ll all help you.”