Emmalin
My hands shook as I took out the letter. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see. A big ‘thank you for fucking up my life and getting me killed.’ Or something, I don’t know. I took a deep breath as I unfolded it carefully.
Willow,
I know what you’re thinking. Who writes letters anymore, right? Well my phone is dead so I couldn’t call you back, or text you, and if I know you, you filled up my mailbox already, so there’s that. Shit, I’m not good at words, so I’ll just say it. I’m not mad at you. I was disappointed you didn’t come to me. Stop hiding shit. That’s always been your problem. Contrary to what you think, people love you. Especially that asshole you’re with. He loves you the most. More than me. He’s not so bad. If you ever tell him this shit, I’ll deny all of it. You don’t need me anymore, but I’ll always fight for you and protect you against anyone that tries to hurt you. I did it back then, and I don’t regret any of it. You’ll always be my little Willow tree.
I didn’t notice I was crying until the tears fell on the paper. He didn’t hate me. He didn’t die hating me. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But it still wasn’t going to stop me from killing Carson.
After the cremation ceremony, a small gathering was held at a small pub. I was a little livelier then. The Xanax I ended up taking helped get me through it. Either that, or the flask Chace nudged me with when Grayson wasn’t looking. I was definitely feeling something, and found myself just smiling for no damn good reason.
“How are you holding up?”
I gazed at Molly, still with a ridiculous grin on my face. I think I was a little drunk. I cleared my throat, and replied, “I think I’m good. How are you doing?”
She nodded. “I’m making it through. I’m moving back to Michigan.”
I wasn’t expecting that. “Wow. When?”
“Now.” She gave me a smile. “I was only here because of Tyler, and there’s no reason to stay really.”
I nodded. “We’ll miss you, Molly. I wish we hung out more.”
She flung her arm around me. “Well, if you’re ever in Michigan…”
I gave her a smile. “Of course, and if you need anything, please call me, day or night.”
“Same with you.” She leaned closer. “And I expect an invite to your future wedding.” She gave me a tight hug. Before she let go, I grabbed onto her and looked into her eyes. “Molly. I don’t know if I said this, but I’m sorry for your loss.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to say something, then shut it, and gave me a sad smile. “Thank you. I’m sorry for your loss, as well.” She gave me one final pat before turning to leave.
Isabella took the spot she just vacated. “You’re drunk.”
“So. Your boyfriend gave it to me.”
She grabbed the flask and took a swig, then grimaced. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Well you’re something. It’s time you stopped pussy-footing around. Do it for Tyler.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re playing the Tyler card. Really?”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Yep. It’s free reign today. Probably all week. I get automatic sympathy rights.” She handed me back the flask.
“It’s complicated.”
As if his ears were ringing, Chace walked back over, eyeing Isabella up and down, before looking my way and reaching for the flask, which was now empty. He arched an eyebrow. “That was Dalmore. Did you eat anything before you finished this?”
I burped. “Yep. Two Xanax.”
He frowned. “Grayson is going to kill me, you know that, right? He’s still pissed at me.”
I started laughing. “That was genius!” I stood up and started swaying.
Chace let out a muttered curse as he picked me up. I turned into his chest.
“I’m sorry about your friend, beautiful,” he whispered in my ear.
“Are you hitting on me?”
“I’m always hitting on you.” He gave me a wink, “Especially in front of Grayson. I had five days with you. I could’ve had you forgetting all about him.”
“I forgot what a comedian you were,” a thunderous voice boomed out. I looked up to a brooding Grayson, not looking too pleased at Chace, with me snuggled against him.
“She drank a whole flask of Dalmore, and a Xanax.”
Grayson immediately tensed.
“Two! It was two Xanax!” I yelled out as Chace placed me into Grayson’s arms gently, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“You getting tired?” he murmured in my ear.
I nodded, as he moved us through the rest of the pub and across the back room. I heard the door open, and a blast of cold surrounded me, followed immediately by warmth. “If you can, stay awake at least another hour, okay? I really need you to eat something. You haven’t eaten more than a few pieces of toast these past few days.” I nodded sleepily against his chest as the car started to move, followed by him telling Hawkins to take us home.
One thing I learned about death, is people cook. The kitchen was filled with food, and Magda was still cooking. As soon as we entered the kitchen, she dropped what she was doing and came over to me, engulfing me in a big hug. I momentarily stiffened before finally wrapping my arms around her. I remembered how she made Tyler laugh, and that had me smiling.
She pulled back and sighed before tucking a strand of hair off my face.
“You’re too thin. You have bags under eyes. What would our naked man think?” She arched an eyebrow and I laughed. I genially laughed. “I make you plate; you eat all of it. Then you sleep.” I nodded, not wanting to argue with Magda.
Apparently, I was hungrier than I thought, as I ate a plate and a half of lasagna. I would’ve eaten more, but the full effect of the Xanax was kicking in and I was getting tired. I was now staring at the remainder of my food when I looked up, seeing Grayson smiling at me.
“What?”
He shook his head. “I’m glad you’re eating, that’s all.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Thank you for all you’ve done.” I started to yawn, and I felt myself being lifted up into his arms.
“I would move the world for you.” In our bedroom, he laid me gently in bed, and I drifted off to sleep, where hopefully I could have a night with a good dream.