With Tim in the hospital and Rylan alone, every night seemed to be the longest night in history for Rylan. Left alone with his thoughts and memories was the worst place to be. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Eddie crumple to the ground—dead at Rylan’s feet. Rylan also saw Tim’s expression when he ripped the man’s heart out. If there was a god, Rylan wished the guy would take him and spare him any more of this life. He wanted to go back to the hospital and make things right. His brain screamed in denial at the thought of losing Tim. He tried focusing on making plans for his future. Paris was still an option. His cottage-style home wouldn’t stay on the market long. Houses in this neighborhood never did. Thousands of miles would stand between them. Rylan couldn’t breathe. He stared at his bedroom wall as he’d done all night. Darkness had turned to light some time ago. Rylan hadn’t bothered looking at the clock. There was nowhere he needed to be. If he got up, he’d have to make a decision that would put those miles between Tim and him. Some days, he wasn’t as strong as others. Today was one of those days. Maybe he’d simply never get up again.

A sound in the doorway drew Rylan’s gaze that way. He didn’t care that his house had obviously been broken into. With any luck, whoever it was, they were there to kill him. Adam stood there, watching him. Rylan rolled back onto his side and went back to staring at the wall. The bed dipped beside him as Adam climbed in. Rylan didn’t have the strength to argue or ask how Adam had gotten inside his house. He was beyond caring. All Rylan knew was the pain in his chest. It was as if a part of him had been cut away and he’d been left behind—bleeding.

Adam scooted close and draped his arm over Rylan. To his horror, the moment Adam held him, the tears came. They were silent and felt never ending. The tears were for nothing and no one. He cried for everything and everyone. Years ago, he’d broken and never been put back together properly. Rylan fucking hated crying. Adam wouldn’t tell anyone—not even Kano. Rylan didn’t know how he knew. He just did. Adam kissed his shoulder. The pain lessened. He’d forgotten how important it was to have a friend. Rylan had pushed everyone away long ago. He wasn’t sure why Adam refused to join the ranks.

“I promised him I’d never run far.” It seemed Rylan’s confessions fell as easily as his tears with Adam holding him.

Adam massaged Rylan’s arm. “You should keep your word.”

“He doesn’t want this mess.”

A low chuckle sounded behind him. “I’d argue he wants this mess very much.”

Rylan shook his head. “Not this time. Not after I told him everything.”

“He’s no lightweight,” Adam argued. “When I first found out about Tim and you, before I married Kano, I told Kano I couldn’t believe Tim would want someone so mean.” A watery laugh escaped Rylan. Adam kept talking. “Do you know what Kano said to me?”

Damn, he had to know. “What?”

“He said he imagined that was the appeal.” He urged Rylan to roll over. Their gazes met. Adam looked so damn sincere. “Babe, Tim isn’t like most people. You don’t scare him—not with your snarky comments or ugly past. He didn’t walk into this thinking you were some sweet, uncomplicated guy. Tim dove in, infatuated with the salty little bitch everyone hates—present company excluded, of course.”

Rylan sniffed. “Of course.” He thought about it for a second. “You said bitch. That’s first time I’ve ever heard you curse.”

Adam gave Rylan’s chest a light pat. “You’re worth it. Now get up. Take a shower, put your best face on, and let’s go. They released Tim today, and his mom has gone home. He needs someone to take care of him. Show up and be the man he believes you to be.”

Rylan didn’t move. “What if he’s over me?”

Adam huffed. “Rylan Santos would not stand for that crud.” Adam softened his tone. “You are Rylan Santos now. Whoever you were before, that person is gone.”

Determination grew inside Rylan. Tim was his. He’d made the man a promise. Fuck this crying bullshit. He’d left all that shit behind a long time ago. “You’re right,” Rylan said, climbing from the bed.

“Dang skippy.”

Rylan snorted. “There’s the angel I know and love,” Rylan said as he closed the bathroom door. He needed to move fast. The last thing he wanted was to lose his nerve. After a quick shower and brushing his teeth, Rylan threw on the first clothes he found and barely brushed his hair. He left the bathroom with dripping locks and ready to go.

Adam eyed him from the bed. “You’re going out with no makeup and wet hair?”

Rylan shrugged. “Tim has seen me a million times worse than this and still loves me. Plus, there’s no time to try to wow the masses.”

Adam leapt from the bed. He rushed across the room and pressed a kiss to Rylan’s cheek. “You’ll still be the hottest guy in town.”

Rylan flashed a bright smile he didn’t feel. “I know.”

* * *

It was odd, waiting for time to move for no reason. Kano and Adam had driven him home. They moved his recliner next to the bed so he wouldn’t have to walk too much before taking his mom to the airport. Now, there was nothing but silence and a cold bowl of soup on his nightstand that he didn’t want. A banging noise came from the living room. Tim didn’t bother getting up from his chair. Kano had warned they’d be back. All Tim wanted was to sulk in peace… and Rylan. It didn’t seem like he’d get either wish.

“Son of a bitch,” Rylan cursed as he came through the bedroom door, awkwardly carrying several bags on his arms. He bent and let them slip to the floor as if trying to avoid them touching his hands. He glanced up and flashed Tim a smile. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to function with fucked up hands?”

Tim stared at Rylan. He couldn’t blink or gather a thought. He wasn’t wearing a single hint of makeup and his hair was a wild mess. Tim had never seen a sexier sight. “I thought you were Kano,” Tim trailed off, unsure if he should bother continuing. No doubt, Kano knew all about this and wasn’t coming back after all. Not to mention, Tim didn’t want Rylan to think he didn’t want him there. Judging by Rylan’s unsure expression, that was exactly where the man’s thoughts were headed.

“I thought, maybe—”

“I thought you were going away,” Tim said, cutting him off. The vulnerability written in Rylan’s expression had Tim ready to backpedal, but he couldn’t. This was too important. If Rylan planned to break his heart, he needed to go on and do it.

Rylan lifted one shoulder in a half shrug. “It’s like I told you before, I’m messed up, but I’ll never get far.”

If anyone deserved to claim they were damaged, it was Rylan, but the man always showed up. Still, Tim needed more. “So you’re not leaving?”

“Do you want me here or not?”

Tim held his stare. “This isn’t how we work. I take care of you. You need to be resting and healing.”

Rylan’s heart was in his eyes, making it hard for Tim to keep fighting. “That is too how we work. If you were being serious about getting married, then you have to know there’ll be times when I’ll be the one taking care of you, even if I’m not one hundred percent myself. This isn’t some one-sided relationship. It’s a partnership.” The more Rylan spoke, the stronger his voice became. “Now, I’ve got soup. You’ll eat it and get better.”

The flame of hope inside Tim couldn’t be doused. It was like that with Rylan. Tim never gave up believing. It seemed neither anger nor despair could deter his heart from longing for Rylan. “No more soup, please? Come here.”

Rylan chewed his bottom lip and shifted from one foot to the other. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The feeling of getting punched in the chest he’d been enduring since waking up in the hospital finally broke Tim. “You’re hurting me now. You’ve been hurting me since you said you’re going away. These pains in my chest have no chance of receding until you let me hold you. Now come here.”

Rylan shuffled closer with his bottom lip held between his teeth. He looked innocent and nervous. When he reached the edge of the recliner, Tim took his wrist and tugged, urging Rylan into his lap. The man climbed gingerly into the chair, staying to Tim’s right side, ensuring he didn’t hurt Tim’s wound. As Rylan settled against him, the sharp pain stealing Tim’s breath eased. His eyes fell closed as his arms encircled Rylan and the man’s scent overtook him.

He kissed Rylan’s temple. “I wish I could make love to you.”

Rylan sniffed, making Tim wonder if he was crying. He kept his chin down and his cheek pressed to Tim’s chest, taking away Tim’s chance to check for tears. “You could’ve died. I was so fucking scared you’d die. It was like I was sixteen all over again, watching everyone I love getting ripped away.”

“Nothing can take me from you—not your snark, numerous attempts at dumping me, or even death. Face it. You may as well keep me.”

Rylan shifted positions and snagged the blanket from Tim’s lap before burrowing underneath it with Tim. He covered them and snuggled close. “I’m not going anywhere. Not without you, anyhow.” Rylan tilted his chin up and pressed a quick kiss to Tim’s lips before settling on his hip between Tim and the arm of the chair.

Tim stroked Rylan’s back and arm. He stared at the wall and soaked in the sensation of holding Rylan again. All felt right with the world when Rylan was in his arms. It occurred to Tim he hadn’t thought about his pain level since Rylan walked through the door. The man was his personal drug—stronger than any medicine created by science. Tim needed Rylan to be okay too. He didn’t know where to start, so he dove in.

“How are you doing, baby?”

Rylan lifted one of his hands and inspected it. “I ripped out over half my stitches in both hands. They had to redo them. It’s a real bitch doing anything, but they don’t hurt that much.”

Tim held Rylan tighter against his chest. “That’s good, but not what I meant.”

Rylan stayed silent for so long, Tim expected he wouldn’t respond. Finally, he cleared his throat. “Um, I’m not sure. You’re safe. That’s all that matters now.”

“I love you,” Tim whispered, needing Rylan to know it and feel it.

“I love you too, baby.”

Tim went back to staring at the wall. He didn’t see a thing. Rylan meant everything to him, and that meant being everything for Rylan. “You loved him too once. It’s okay for you to mourn Eddie, even if you hate him.”

Rylan shifted onto his elbow and met Tim’s gaze. “I’m not sorry or in mourning. I’m enraged. It pisses me off that he took everything from me and tried to do so again. I want to dig him up and kill him again for leaving me no choice but to do what I did.”

“You’re the strongest person I know,” Tim said, because someone needed to say it. “If the day comes when you’re no longer angry and you need me to kiss it and make it better, say the word. I won’t tell anyone.”

Rylan’s mouth lifted in one corner, and Tim knew—they’d be okay. “Just get better,” Rylan said, settling back down. “We have a life to plan.”

“Mhmm,” Tim hummed as he kissed Rylan’s temple. “That’s the best incentive I’ve ever been given for healing. You’re magical.”

“I’ll take it.”

They would have the best life together. Tim wouldn’t accept anything less. He’d make sure Rylan got all the love he’d been denied for years. Even if he had to quit his job to ensure it, they’d never be apart again.