Fucking asshole.

No, make that two. Two fucking assholes.

This was like a grown up visit with the Count from Sesame Street. Two fucking assholes, count them, one…two. Ha ha ha.

I could hear that reverberating in my mind in the Muppet’s Transylvanian vampire voice.

It normally would have made me laugh, but no way in hell was there going to be laughter today.

I looked at my phone again, daring the words to change. Instead, they taunted me.

I’m going to have to take a swab up my junk because of you. Hope you’re happy.

That fucking, cock-sucking, rat bastard excuse of a human being accused me of possibly passing on a creepy crawly dick disease to him.

Maybe next time you decided that you’re going to piss your ownership on a woman you don’t actually want to own, and forget to be a man and wrap your dick up, you’ll think twice, you worthless piece of shit.

I jabbed my index finger so hard on the word ‘send’ that I was surprised there wasn’t a permanent indent on my screen.

I inspected my nail for a second, just to make sure I hadn’t cracked it, but fortunately, the only damage was a slight sting from hitting the screen too hard.

I was so done with men. So. Freaking. Done.

I wished to God that I could just be a lesbian like Kaylie, but just the thought of lapping around a woman’s roast beef looking flappies gave me the dry heaves.

Maybe I could get a girlfriend and just tell her that based on religious reasons we could never get it on, but that I would be awesome for a good meal, great laughs and some companionship.

I sounded about as exciting as one of those home health care ads.

I looked at my phone, only to experience the all too familiar drop of disappointment when there was nothing to see on the screen. No notifications, no new messages, no invites to cuddle on a couch and eat Swedish fish.

Nothing.

Damn, that stung.

I had nothing to do. Legit, nothing.

I hadn’t seen as much of Kaylie since she and Mariana started getting hot and heavy, ever since that night at the pub. That fucking night damn near ruined my life.

Okay, okay. A little melodramatic. But seriously, if that louse hadn’t hit me up for some nasty bathroom sex in a somewhat family friendly pub, I might not be in this situation where a hot as fuck biker was accusing me of giving him dick rabies; while another equally hot as fuck nice guy turned out to be a lying sack of shit.

There was this gnawing feeling at the back of my conscience. As if something in the universe was trying to remind me that I didn’t have to meet Jamison in the bathroom. I’d been having a perfectly good time with Kay, Mariana and Dane. That I’d gotten up on my own two feet and marched my happy ass to the family stall to get fucked thoroughly while parents with small kids sat just feet away. That little feeling was turning into a voice that was telling me I not only got what I wanted, but also what I deserved.

I hated that feeling.

I hated that voice even more.

I exhaled and looked over at a framed picture of Kaylie, Mariana, Dane and I from that night. We had been trying to maneuver ourselves into the frame, with Kay holding her arm at a ridiculous angle, trying not to make the subject of the photo her forehead. The server had mercy on us and asked if we wanted her to take the picture. I was pretty sure I’d seen her laughing watching us for a few minutes before putting Kay out of her misery.

Even though Dane and I hadn’t talked for a bit after that, because he and all of the people in the restaurant heard Mariana screaming at us in the ladies room and letting everyone within ear shot know that I’d gotten some in the bathroom minutes before, I had framed the photo and put it on my desk at work. Apparently, I was a masochist.

My work space was beyond blah. I’d done nothing to personalize it, so I’d decided that was to be the first sign of life amongst grey carpeting and beige desktops.

Even though we were supposed to be looking at the camera and cheesing it up, he had been looking at me. His eyes were warm and welcoming, and I now knew that he was silently begging me to see him. To see his heart and his soul and know that I lived there.

Ugh.

It had been so fucking perfect until it wasn’t.

I only got one night. One perfect night before the world both imploded and blew the fuck up simultaneously.

He had lied to me, and got his brother in on the big scam to get me out of my nice little apartment and into his bed. I had loved that little apartment, but had packed all my shit up pretty damn quickly after that night and I was now renting a room by the week until I could find a new place to land.

It turned out that Dane owned the building that I lived in. The thing was, that I’d asked him once if he was my landlord before he told me he wasn’t. Well, technically he hadn’t been, but his dad was. Same thing in my books, same thing. And omission is a lie. Always a fucking lie. Especially when the person you are keeping all the facts from spilled her guts and filled you in on a time in her life when she was alone, scared and had a stalker that came complete with death threats.

All I asked for was honesty. That’s it. Well, that and a few orgasms. But, seriously, that wasn’t too much to ask.

Apparently, I asked for too much, or I just wasn’t worth it, because here I was alone again, with no plans, and now I had a visiting nurses jingle running through my head like a fucking earworm.

“Mari, do you have a second.”

I snapped out of my pity party to see Louisa looking at me with concern.

Louisa was a senior designer with the graphic design firm I’d been working for since graduating college. She’d hand-picked me for a project that we were working on for an architectural firm in Boston that was looking to expand outside of the New England region.

“Sure, always a second for you. What’s up?”

“Mind coming into my office?”

Fuck.

“Uh, no, not at all.”

I stumbled as I stood up, fear turning both my feet and my stomach into a pile of lead.

Please don’t take me off of the project. Please don’t take me off of the project.

I needed this to help move my career in the right direction, so if I got pulled from the project, I might not see a promotion anytime in the next several years. I had no problem with paying my dues and all, but I didn’t want to be a junior designer for the rest of my life. Living in Boston wasn’t cheap, and I wasn’t exactly making a fortune. Now, with me having to find a new place to live, I couldn’t deal with losing any chance of an increase in income.

I grabbed my laptop from its docking station and followed behind Louisa, trying to match her rapid footsteps while allowing her the lead. Letting her be the alpha dog and all that.

When we got to her office, she closed the door behind me.

That was never a good sign.

I could almost picture my co-workers, my peers, sitting outside of the door wondering what was going on that Louisa had to have a closed-door meeting with me.

Hell, I was wondering what I’d done to warrant it.

She gestured to the seat across from her at her desk and I sat down, smoothing out my skirt as I did so. I did it more for something to do with my hands rather than to remove wrinkles.

Louisa just sat there, her hands loosely clasped and resting on her desk. She was leaning forward slightly, watching me quietly as I did everything I could not to make eye contact with her.

I sighed softly and opened my laptop before raising my eyes to meet hers.

I was shocked to see nothing but laughter in her eyes, the edges crinkled up with an unrestrained smile.

“Do you have any idea why I’ve asked you into my office, Mari?”

“Uh, no, but I can’t imagine it’s anything good, considering that door is closed, and it was a discussion that couldn’t take place on the floor.”

Louisa just laughed.

“Oh, Mari. You always bring such joy to me.”

Okay, quick reassessment of the situation. I just had Louisa laughing, she didn’t look as if there were any threat of the stapler being thrown at my head, and the look of amusement said I wasn’t fired.

I sat back a little, finally relaxing into the chair. I hadn’t realized how ramrod straight I was sitting, until I felt a dull ache in my lower back once I relaxed a little bit.

“So, what’s up?”

“This is a good news, meeting, Mari, not a bad news meeting.”

“Sounds awesome, I could certainly use some good news in my life these days.”

“Still trying to figure out the secret to men and what makes them tick?”

I answered her with a dramatic eye roll. Sometimes, words just couldn’t possibly convey all that you needed to say. Sometimes, an eye roll was much more effective at getting the point across.

“Hmmm, interesting. I would happily wax poetic about wanting to change places with you and all, except I don’t. This season of my life is blessed, even with the wrinkles and greying hair. I can truthfully say that you couldn’t pay me to go back in time. We’ll chat over lunch sometime about the men issues, however, that sounds like an early day and a liquid lunch.”

Holy hell, I wanted to be Louisa when I grew up.

“Anyway, I’ve asked you in here under the cloak of darkness and secrecy, because I wanted to let you know that I’ve had a conversation with Hale about your future in the company. A conversation that I just can’t help but share with you. I don’t want the million ears out there to listen in and start spreading fifteen different versions of the story. If I allowed that to happen, before the end of the day you and I would probably be lovers, living together and about to fly off to Tahiti to get married.”

She wasn’t too far off base with her assessment of the speed with which ‘news’ spread in our office. There was one junior executive whose marriage was almost ruined because his wife caught wind of those rumors. Imagine her surprise when she met Chris, who she had thought was her husband’s sexy secretary, only to find out it was Christopher, the fucking hot as hell executive assistant that all of us had been drooling over since his first day. He laughs about it now, but I know that we almost lost him as an employee as a result. There were a lot of stern reprimands following that fiasco.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I mean, I would totally marry you and all, but I have enough relationship drama for right now.”

I thought for a second, trying to carefully plan out my next words so that I didn’t seem desperate and needy.

“So, you have me intrigued. You spoke to Hale about me?”

Hale Wellington was the CEO of this firm, and a pretty decent guy from what I’d seen. Granted, my exposure to him was mostly passing him in the hallway or getting caught chatting with Gemma, our receptionist.

“Yes. We were discussing the next round of promotions for junior designers, and I let him know of your great work on the O’Reilly and Cairn account, as well as my experience on previous projects. I have expressed that if you were to be promoted, I would want to specifically request that you report to me, as working with you is an absolute pleasure. I wish I were able to clone you, as this company would operate a hundred times more smoothly if we had more of you.”

I stopped breathing.

For about a half of a minute, I just sat there, staring at her unblinking, forgetting to move, forgetting to breathe.

This was what I’d been working towards, but I hadn’t anticipated it happening for another year or so.

“How do you feel about this, Mari? Is this a move that you’re wanting to make?”

Oh shit, she mistook my stunned silence for lack of interest.

“Louisa, I’m thrilled at the opportunity, you have no idea. I’m honestly just kind of shocked, you know? I really hadn’t planned on having this chance at a promotion for a while longer.”

Wait, she was promoting me, right?

“Um, is this a promotion?”

She laughed at me once again, shaking her head in her amusement.

“It’s not an official promotion. Yet. But it will be. I’m going to continue to monitor your work on the O’Reilly and Cairn account personally, and I’ll be reporting in to Hale. He’s also noticed your fantastic work ethic, and you are already on his list of up and comers, as well. So, you and I are going to be working very closely in the coming months. I’d like to schedule a weekly meeting with you, to review your ideas, your actions and what areas we need to beef up a little to help you be successful once that promotion is official.”

Okay, well, that was a little less exciting, but still, really promising. I could wait a few more months. All I had to do was wow the boxer briefs off of the reclusive Hale Wellington, and I’d have a chance at exceeding all of my goals.

I didn’t really know that he wore boxer briefs, I mean, I’d never stripped him naked with anything other than my own two eyes, but he looked like the boxer brief type. I knew that he played racquetball with his buddies at the country club three mornings a week and that he golfed on the weekend whenever possible. Some of the newer female associates had tried to angle themselves for a position under him, literally, on more than one occasion. Come to think of it, there was one male as well. And who could blame them? Hale was hot as fuck. But, no thank you.

As a friend of mine once said, I didn’t shit where I eat. I had too much riding on this job to ruin it because I wanted to learn to drive stick.

I had this. I was already so far ahead on all areas of this project that I owned. As long as I met my milestones and kept Alicia the ice bitch happy, I was safe.

Ugh, Alicia.

I hated her. Like, a strong, passionate hate.

As if it wasn’t bad enough that she was stone cold evil, I found out that she not only knew Dane, but had propositioned him on more than one occasion.

“I’m thrilled for the opportunity, L, and look forward to our weekly meetings. My calendar is updated online, if you want to pick the date and time, just send me an invite. Lord knows your schedule is crazier than mine will ever be.”

I grinned at her, trying to show that although I hadn’t responded as quickly as she would have expected, I still was beyond happy. Except I wasn’t. I mean, not completely. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful or anything, but I felt like I was basically being asked to whore myself out to a person who I would gladly claw the eyes out of, half naked in a vat of Jell-O.

Except I had no reason to feel like that, no reason to have the green headed monster called ‘jealousy’ rearing its ugly head. Because, I ran.

Fuck.