Livvy might have knocked a little too aggressively on Felicity’s door, because when she answered it, her green eyes were like giant saucers behind her turquoise-rimmed glasses.
“You okay?” Felicity asked.
“No,” Livvy declared, moving past her friend and into the living room. She sank onto the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. “I kissed him. I mean it was more of a make out. And it was amazing . . .” She groaned and buried her face in her hands. She felt the cushion shift next to her.
Felicity grasped her shoulder. “Wait. That’s a good thing, right? You finally broke the ice with Slade—so what if you had to instigate it? He probably didn’t mind in the least—”
Livvy raised her head and stared at her friend. “You don’t understand,” she said in a choked voice. “I kissed Mason.”
Felicity’s eyebrows popped up. “Mason? The writer? Lumberjack man? Mr. Dark & Broody?”
“Stop,” Livvy choked out. “And yes, I kissed Mason Rowe. A lot. In the library.”
Felicity opened her mouth, but nothing came out.
“I know.” Livvy sighed. “I have no words either. I practically jumped him, and then he even tried to warn me, but I was like a crazy woman. He was just so... And I was... He shaved his beard, did I tell you? He shaved it for me. And those blue eyes of his seem to always look right into my soul, and it was like I couldn’t not kiss him. You know?”
Felicity was still staring at her, saying nothing. And then her mouth quirked.
“You are not going to laugh at me.”
Felicity turned away, covering her mouth.
“It’s not funny,” Livvy said. “He’s working on a deadline—for a major book that will probably be a New York Times bestseller—and I just accosted him in a book aisle.”
Felicity was laughing now, there was no denying it.
Livvy leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes. “What am I going to tell Slade?”
Felicity stopped laughing.
Livvy didn’t dare open her eyes to see the expression on Felicity’s face now. Livvy’s stomach hadn’t stopped flipping since, well, since this morning when Mason had told her about his family. She didn’t know why she’d thought kissing him would be a good idea in any universe.
Perhaps the beard had been the thing to keep her from grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him toward her the day before, or the day before that... But had that been all it took? Mason to shave his beard? No... Mason was attractive, kind, funny, broody—yes, smart . . .
But she’d dated Slade four months before they’d kissed, and he was her dream man. Her doctor. And she’d never made a move first, until Mason.
She groaned. “Mason must think I’m a two-timer and a total floozy. I asked him to breakfast, and I paid, so that was kind of like a date. It was like my psyche was planning to attack him without my brain knowing about it.”
Felicity still wasn’t talking.
Livvy opened her eyes to see that Felicity was leaning back on the couch too, staring at her in wonder.
“Say something, please,” Livvy said. “Tell me that I’m dreaming. That I didn’t just have the best kiss of my life with a man who is not a doctor.”
Felicity smiled.
“Don’t laugh.”
“I’m not,” Felicity said, although she sounded on the verge of laughing. “I’m sorry that you’re so... distressed over this, but I’m not surprised.”
“What do you mean?” Livvy frowned. “You’re not surprised that I attacked poor Mason Rowe in the library, or you’re not surprised that doctors aren’t better kissers?”
Felicity pulled her feet up and sat cross-legged while facing Livvy. “I hate to break it to you, but Slade is kind of a jerk when it comes to relationships. So I don’t blame you for kissing the man you see every day and the man who actually listens to you and wants to spend time with you.”
“Does this mean I’m desperate for affection or something?” Livvy asked.
“I don’t know what it means,” Felicity said, all laughter gone from her tone now. “Although, you were the one who built up an entire fantasy relationship with a doctor before you even met Slade. So I think reality is calling BS on your boyfriend fantasies.”
Livvy bit her lip. Which kind of still felt bruised from all that kissing. Mason might have tried to stop her a time or two, but he’d keep up his end of the kissing match quite well. A warm shiver went through her at the thought of his hands on her, his mouth on hers, his smile, his whispered words . . .
“Liv?” Felicity prompted.
“Okay, here’s the thing,” Livvy said, pulling one of the throw pillows and squeezing it against her chest. “I was caught up in the moment. It was a mistake.”
“Slade’s still the one?” Felicity said.
“Of course.” Livvy held out her phone to Felicity, and she leaned over to read the text that Slade had sent twenty minutes ago.
Hey, Liv. Do you have Thanksgiving plans? If you’re not going to your parents, do you want to come to mine?
Felicity brought a hand to her mouth to cover up a gasp.
“I know, right?” Livvy put the phone on the coffee table because she didn’t want to read the text that should have made her feel like she’d won the lottery. The invitation that she’d been hoping would come—to meet Slade’s parents. And on a family holiday. In other words, they’d be a couple, and she’d be introduced as his girlfriend.
She should be celebrating. She should be jumping up and down and feeling giddy. But all she felt was guilty.
“So . . .” Felicity smoothed back her brunette hair. “If you hadn’t kissed Mason today, how would this text make you feel?”
Livvy frowned. “What do you mean? I’m happy about the invitation. It’s the next step in my relationship with Slade.”
“You don’t look happy,” Felicity countered. “You look pretty miserable.”
“That’s because I did a stupid thing, and now I have to tell Slade,” Livvy said. “He’ll probably dump me. Mason will see right through me. And I’ll be going home for Thanksgiving to sulk.”
“You don’t have to tell Slade,” Felicity said. “I doubt Mason is going to be announcing it to anyone.”
Livvy worried her lip again. “Good point.”
“But . . .”
“But if Slade had kissed another girl, I’d want to know.”
Felicity nodded. “Would you break up with him?”
Exhaling, Livvy thought about it. “Probably. Which means that I shouldn’t tell Slade if I want to stay together. Which will only bring me more guilt.” Livvy buried her face in her hands again, and Felicity rubbed her back.
Livvy couldn’t believe she’d gotten herself into this situation. She didn’t want to hurt either man. She didn’t want to play them off each other. Slade was... her dream. Mason was... temporary. A diversion? Another fantasy?
She lifted her head. “What if Mason thinks I’m looking for a hookup? That I’m only fangirling.”
“Are you?” Felicity asked.
Livvy rubbed her face. “Neither... I mean I am a huge fan, but I’m not that type of woman. Or at least, I didn’t think I was. My actions have been pretty rotten.”
“I’m making hot chocolate,” Felicity said, rising from the couch. “Everything will seem better after you’ve gotten some chocolate in your system.”
“I don’t think even chocolate can fix this,” Livvy said.
“I have ice cream, too.”
“Mint chocolate chip?”
“Of course.”
Two hours later, Livvy woke up. Apparently she’d fallen asleep on Felicity’s couch after her self-induced sugar coma. When the memories of the day came flooding back to her, she had to check her phone to be sure that it wasn’t all some horrible dream. Yep, there was Slade’s text about Thanksgiving—which she still hadn’t answered. And... yep, there was Mason Rowe’s number saved in her contacts. He’d even added the address of his cabin and his San Diego address.
Hmm. Interesting. She didn’t know how much to read into that.
Livvy sat up and ran a hand over her hair. She could hear some music playing, or maybe it was a TV, coming from Felicity’s bedroom. Darkness had fallen, and although Livvy only lived a few houses down, she was reluctant to go back home. Her roommate, Mallory, knew little about all that had gone on with Mason, just that he was writing at the library, and it would be hard to keep her current mood hidden.
The fewer people who knew about Livvy’s screwup, the better. She scrolled through her texts with Slade. She’d kept their conversations from the very first text, and Livvy remembered how flattered she’d been in the beginning. She was still flattered, and now he’d asked her to a major family event.
Yet the invitation felt like a rock in her stomach. What would happen when she told Slade about kissing another man? Would he dump her on the spot? Would he be angry? Would he forgive her? Would he ever trust her again?
Livvy blew out a breath and rose from the couch, then folded the blanket that Felicity must have draped over her. She walked down the hall to Felicity’s bedroom and knocked on the door, then cracked it open.
Felicity was stretched out on her bed, reading a book while music played.
“Hi,” Livvy said, hovering in the doorway. “Thanks for the chocolate and the couch and for letting me dump on you.”
Felicity sat up on the bed and patted the area next to her. So Livvy walked into the room and sat by her.
“Okay, I need to tell you something that you might not agree with,” Felicity said. “But I’ve been thinking while you’ve been asleep. I also might have googled ‘how to know if a guy likes you’ and ‘ten ways to save a relationship’ and finally ‘how to know when a kiss means he’s into you.’”
“What?” Livvy said with a laugh. “I kissed him, remember.”
Felicity smiled. “But he kissed you back, and by your description, it wasn’t a quick peck.”
Heat rose in Livvy’s face. “Not quick at all.”
“So . . .” Felicity said, adjusting her glasses, then folding her hands in her lap. “Since I’ve become quite a relationship expert in the last two hours, I’m advising you not to tell Slade yet.”
Livvy blinked. “Why not?”
“You need to find out if Mason is a fling or if you really like him,” Felicity said. “If you really like him, then break up with Slade. If Mason is a fling, and you’re still devoted to Slade, then beg for Slade’s forgiveness.”
Livvy bit one of her nails even though she hadn’t bitten her nails since she was seven and her mom had painted on that nasty oil. “Sounds... tricky. I mean, how am I supposed to know if I really like Mason? And how do I know if he really likes me?”
“That’s the hard part,” Felicity said. “You’re going to have to spend more time with him, and you’ll probably have to ask him straight out.”
Livvy scoffed. “I’m not going to have ‘the talk’ after a first kiss. It was more flirty than anything, casual... a one-time thing.”
Felicity arched her brows.
“Okay, so is it horrible to admit that I’m insanely attracted to Mason?” Livvy said in a half-whisper. “He’s good-looking, but it’s much more than that. We connect, and he seems to always be around. And his brain fascinates me, and—” She cut herself off and slumped.
“You have a week until Thanksgiving,” Felicity said. “You’ll know by then. Accept Slade’s invitation. Figure out how you feel about Mason. It will never be too late to change your dinner plans. You can always come here.”
“You’re not going home?” Livvy asked.
“I have to work the Black Friday sales,” Felicity said. “So I don’t want to have to make the trek back and forth in a single day.”
Livvy blew out a breath. “Okay, if I don’t go to Slade’s, then I’ll have dinner with you.”