Livvy stood on a ladder, stretching to hang the garland along the top of the bookcase. Decorating the bookshop with Felicity had taken longer than she’d thought, and she was surprised Mason hadn’t called her yet. Maybe that was a good sign though. Livvy selfishly wanted Mason to have friends in Pine Valley. Even though he seemed perfectly happy playing the reclusive writer type, Livvy felt the more connections he had around here, the better.
Because she was dreading him returning to San Diego. She wanted him to stay, but how could she ask him to? How could she expect him to? Of course there was always the other option... she could move to San Diego. But that would be more like a major commitment. And she couldn’t let her heart even hope that Mason was in love with her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
Livvy sighed despite the cheerful Christmas music playing from the Bluetooth speaker Felicity had next to the cash register.
“He hasn’t called yet?” Felicity said, coming to stand by the ladder.
Livvy didn’t need to check her phone to know it was turned on, and the volume was all the way up. “No.”
“I thought you were happy he was hanging out with ‘the guys.’” Felicity batted her lashes in exaggeration.
“I am happy.”
Felicity laughed. “You could have fooled me.” Tonight she wore a red sweater and red glasses. Although Felicity didn’t need prescription glasses, she liked the fashion statement.
Livvy found it endearing.
“Are you going to ask him the big question tonight?” Felicity handed up another swag of garland.
The big question. About Christmas.
“Are you staying in town?” Livvy asked.
“I think I’ll go to my parents for a day or two,” Felicity said.
From what Livvy understood, things were pretty quiet in Felicity’s household since she was an only child.
“I don’t know how Mason will act if I invite him to my family’s place for Christmas,” Livvy said. “I mean, it would take things to another level. And I worry that it will turn off Mason if I even suggest it.”
Felicity fell quiet for a moment. “Maybe ask him what his Christmas tradition is, then you can go from there.”
“Good idea.” Livvy blew out a breath and climbed down the ladder. “I’m still a ball of nerves.”
Felicity grinned.
“What?”
“It’s good to see you happy and not pining after some doctor fantasy.”
Livvy grimaced. “Don’t remind me. I saw Slade the other day at the grocery store. Thankfully I was with Mallory, and we only exchanged very brief hellos.”
Felicity’s brows shot up. “Any regrets? Any pining?”
“Nothing.” Livvy picked up the ladder and moved it several feet down the aisle. “Which I guess is good to know. Even when... Mason leaves... there’s no way Slade will ever be in the picture.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” Felicity said. “Because I think you have a visitor.”
Livvy turned to see Mason opening the door of the bookshop. It was after hours, but the lights inside made it no secret that they were both decorating in here.
She found herself stupidly grinning as he walked in.
“Wow, looks great in here,” he said.
His blue eyes met hers, then cut to Felicity. Then he looked at Livvy again and smiled. That heart-stopping smile, making Livvy’s insides all gooey.
“I’m going to get that thing in the back,” Felicity said.
Livvy barely heard her. She could only see Mason as he walked toward her. He stopped in front of her, and she breathed in his scent of clean, and musk, and the faint smell of leather that reminded her of his Jeep.
“Are you about done?” his voice was casual enough, but Livvy sensed an undercurrent there. He hadn’t come to hang out in a bookstore.
Still, she had the urge to press her mouth against those lips of his. “Almost,” she said.
“You’re good to go,” Felicity called out from someplace in the store. “I’m going to lock up soon and get home for some hot chocolate.”
Mason’s mouth quirked in question.
“She really likes hot chocolate,” Livvy whispered.
“I heard that,” Felicity said, laughter in her voice. But she was still keeping to the back room.
So Livvy stepped up to Mason and raised up on her toes to kiss the edge of his jaw.
Mason slipped his hand into hers, and instead of returning her kiss, he said, “Let’s go.”
“Okay,” Livvy said, her nerves starting up. Mason had something on his mind, and she wasn’t sure if that was good or bad. She reveled in the warmth and strength of his fingers enclosing hers. Surely he wouldn’t be holding her hand if he had bad news to tell her, right?
Mason opened the bookshop door, and the cold air swirled around Livvy as they walked out together.
“Do I even need to ask if you brought a coat?” Mason said, his tone wry.
“I didn’t want to drag it around,” she said.
“Of course not.” Mason slowed his step. “Did you drive?”
“No, I rode over with Felicity.”
Mason nodded and led her to his Jeep, which was still running. He opened the door for her, and she climbed inside.
As he walked around the front of the Jeep, Livvy’s heart thumped hard. What was going on? A dozen thoughts entered her mind, but she was too afraid to dwell on any of them.
“How was the game?” Livvy asked once he climbed in.
He glanced over at her. “Started out a little rough, then got better.”
“Who was playing?”
Mason didn’t answer for a moment, and it seemed his mind was someplace else.
Livvy tried to relax and took a couple of deep breaths. On one hand, she knew Mason liked her. On the other hand, he had a completely different life from her in another city hundreds of miles away.
“We need to talk about some things,” Mason said.
Livvy’s stomach knotted. There it was. The dreaded words. They were about to discuss their future, or the impossibility of it.
“Okay,” she said, her voice sounding like a squeak.
Mason said nothing the rest of the drive to his cabin. Since Livvy didn’t have her car, if there was some sort of argument between them, or even an official breakup, it would be really awkward getting home after. She could only imagine a totally silent car ride. Much like this one.
Finally they reached the cabin, and like the gentleman he always was, he parked, then came around to open her door. He didn’t hold her hand as they walked in through the garage door that connected to the house.
He turned on a lamp in the great room, and the yellow glow should have cast a comforting light over everything, but it all seemed stark right now. Livvy shivered. The cabin was warm, but the vastness of it made her wish she had her coat on. She sat on the couch, unsure what else to do.
Mason didn’t sit by her, but instead he crossed to the hearth and flipped on the gas fireplace. He stood there for a few moments, staring down at the flames.
Livvy couldn’t stand the silence, or his brooding, or whatever this was, a moment longer.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked in a quiet voice.
He rubbed the back of his neck, still not looking at her. “No, I’m mad at myself.”
Livvy felt her eyes burn—and she didn’t even know what was going on. She just knew that something was terribly wrong. “Why?” she managed to say.
Mason finally turned to look at her. He folded his arms. “Slade was at Dawson’s.”
Livvy felt like the breath had been knocked out of her.
“We had words,” he continued.
She couldn’t keep sitting, so she moved to her feet. “What does that mean? Did you guys get into a fight or something?” She scanned his face for signs of bruising, but there was nothing.
“He called me out, and I called him out.”
Livvy blinked. “What did you say?”
“Nothing that I haven’t said before.” Mason dropped his arms and slipped his hands into his pockets. “His phone rang like always, and he ended up leaving. I stayed to finish watching the game, and now Jeff Finch thinks I’m his best friend. He offered to look for a place for me to live.”
Livvy didn’t know if she’d heard him right... Did this mean . . .? She didn’t dare hope, but it had blossomed anyway.
“I’m going back to San Diego on the twenty-third, whether my book is finished or not,” Mason said. “The cabin owner has another family coming in for Christmas.”
Livvy blinked. And then her eyes started to burn. Just like that... She’d known this would be the result from the very beginning. He’d never made it a secret that he’d leave after his book was done.
“That’s like, in a week . . .” She stopped talking because it was impossible to mask the tremble in her voice.
Mason nodded. “I probably should have told you sooner. Jolene informed me a couple of weeks ago, but I was selfish, living in my own little world. Writing every day, spending my free time with you, ignoring the rest of the world.”
Livvy’s throat went dry.
“Jolene is setting up a three-week book tour in January for me,” he said. “It’s been a few years since I’ve done one, and she thinks it will reconnect me to my readers. I’ll be going to all the major cities in the nation. My new book will be on preorder, and we’re depending on the preorder sales to make or break future book contracts.”
“I think that’s... great,” Livvy managed to say. “It sounds like a really smart marketing push.”
Mason rubbed at his chin and looked away from her. It felt as if there were a million miles between them instead of a few steps. When he met her gaze again, there was an intensity in his eyes that made Livvy wish she’d stayed seated.
“Here’s the thing, Livvy... I’m in love with you.” He exhaled, and all she could do was stare at him.
“We knew from the beginning that we were on different tracts in life,” he continued, “and I didn’t mean for things to get complicated. And I especially don’t want to hurt you. But the reality is that once this book tour is done, I’ll be writing the next book. Then the launch will come for my new book. The cycle is vicious, and I can’t keep hiding out here in Pine Valley, avoiding what I’ve been avoiding.”
Livvy wiped at the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.
“I have a little more than a week left here,” he said. “I’m going to write the final chapters, read through the whole manuscript, then send it to Jolene. By then it will be time to return to San Diego and prepare for my book tour. It’s not fair to ask you to follow me around the country or to relocate to San Diego. Despite my feelings for you, I am new to all of this. I can’t guarantee anything, so it’s better to not make any promises in the first place.”
Livvy stepped back and sank onto the couch. She hated that she was crying, but she hated more that Mason’s honesty was breaking her heart. He was right... of course he was right. It wasn’t like he was going to propose marriage and sell his house, or ask her to find a librarian job in San Diego. No, they both had their own careers, their own lives. Their paths had just intersected at a strange time in Mason’s life.
She took a deep, steadying breath and looked up at Mason. His gaze was still on her. “I’m not asking for any promises, Mason,” she said, “if that’s what you’re worried about. And I know the risks as much as you do.” She rubbed her hands over her knees, trying to warm up the cold trembling. “I’m still trying to get used to the idea that I’ve fallen in love with a man who’s not a doctor.”
Mason reached her in three strides and tugged her to her feet. He crushed her against him, and she clung to him, feeling his heart beating as fast as hers.
“We’re both fools, then,” he whispered.
She laughed, although the tears had started again. He pressed his lips against her neck. She closed her eyes and let her senses become lost in the smell of him, the soft fabric of his shirt against her cheek, his warm arms encircling her.
She knew that if he asked, right now, for her to leave Pine Valley with him, she’d say yes. But that wasn’t what he was asking. She’d both seen and heard the hesitation, the uncertainty in his voice, the questions he had... She didn’t want him to ever regret his decisions. So she would wait. As long as it took.
“Livvy,” Mason murmured against her ear. “I’m going to miss you.”