Livvy’s eyes were swollen two times their normal size. She wasn’t even sure she’d slept, even after she downed two Benadryl. Now she stared at her scary reflection beneath the buzzing florescent light in her bathroom. Seeing Mason’s expression last night at Slade’s would be something that would haunt her the rest of her life. If she’d felt guilty not telling Slade that she was seeing Mason, that was nothing compared to how she felt now.
She would have to tell Slade everything. If he forgave her, then some of the guilt might eventually go away. But Livvy didn’t even want to see Slade today. She wanted to pound on Mason’s door until he let her in and then beg for him to be the old Mason. Not the cold, distant Mason of last night.
She wanted to step into his welcoming arms. She wanted to feel his warm breath against her neck. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted to feel his desire for her.
Livvy hated to think of how they’d be separated today. Mason alone in that vast cabin. Livvy surrounded by Slade’s entire family. She’d have to keep up her end of conversations, hold Slade’s hand, smile at his parents, eat like she enjoyed the food . . .
Livvy decided she didn’t like turkey either. She should have made the drive to her parents’ home and avoided all of this. She grabbed a washcloth, soaked it with cold water, then pressed it against her eyes. Inhaling slowly, she decided she’d go to the dinner with Slade, and then tomorrow... she’d sleep all day. Mason was lost to her. And she didn’t want Slade. Not anymore.
By the time Slade pulled up to her house, Livvy’s puffy eyes were well concealed by an extra layer of makeup, and she’d decided she would enjoy Thanksgiving no matter what. She had plenty of things to be grateful for.
She wasn’t even bothered that Slade was on the phone when she climbed into his Land Rover. He hadn’t knocked on her door or opened the SUV door for her, but the call sounded important.
He seemed to be talking to a nurse by the medication orders he was giving. Five minutes into their drive, he hung up.
“Sorry about that, sweetheart.”
Sweetheart. He’d called her that in front of Mason. “What’s going on?” she asked, hoping her voice didn’t sound annoyed.
“Oh, Mr. Palmer is in more pain than usual today,” Slade said smoothly. “I told him day three after surgery would be the worst, but the nurse said he’s really suffering. So I’m increasing the next dose.”
“Poor man,” Livvy said. “How old is he?”
“Seventy-two,” Slade said. “Young enough to still get a lot of use out of his new back.” He continued to talk about the surgery and aftercare, and normally Livvy would stay engaged, but she found her mind was wandering.
Was Mason heating up a frozen pizza? Had he gotten any writing done today? Would he tell his agent about their breakup? Had it been a breakup? It had felt like one, and here Livvy was with Slade again.
His phone rang, and he answered.
Livvy fisted her hands and stared out the window, watching the snowy landscape speed by. Slade had told her his parents lived on a ranch just outside the city proper, but Livvy hadn’t ever been there.
“Put on Mr. Palmer,” Slade said. “Maybe if I talk to him, and explain what’s going on, it will ease his anxiety level.”
Maybe Livvy should be driving.
Ten minutes later, Slade got off the phone just as they reached a turnoff that led to a ranch-style house on a large piece of property. The house and red barn, surrounded by horse property, looked like a scene on a winter postcard. Wow. When Slade had complained about living on pennies during medical school, she’d thought of his parents living in a much more modest home than what spread out before her.
“Here we are,” Slade said in a bright voice as he parked the Land Rover next to someone’s truck. He turned off the engine and opened his door.
Livvy didn’t wait for him to come around, so she was already standing on the circular driveway when Slade reached her.
He smiled that perfect smile. “Ready?”
“Yep,” Livvy said simply. For better or for worse.
Slade grasped her hand. His hand was smaller and smoother than Mason’s, and Livvy didn’t feel the same fluttering that she did when Mason took her hand. Of course when Mason did that, he usually kissed her too.
Livvy’s stomach knotted at the thought of Slade kissing her again. There was a time a few weeks ago when she was looking forward to it, but now... She’d rather be having a quiet dinner with Felicity than with Slade’s family.
The ranch house was beautiful, Livvy had to admit. And from the moment they stepped into the warm, glowing interior, Livvy was swept into one hug after another. She’d had no idea that Slade’s family would be so welcoming and affectionate. Jessica hugged her like they’d been best friends for years, and Slade’s mom, an older copy of Jessica, hugged Livvy as well without any reservation.
By the time everyone gathered in the large dining room, Livvy’s mind was spinning. Slade’s father said grace over the food, then excused all the grandkids to sit at a special table decorated just for them. Livvy sat between Slade and Jessica. During the meal, Slade’s married siblings teased him about waiting so long to bring Livvy around.
And Slade’s parents kept smiling at her.
More than once, Livvy’s heart skipped a beat when she remembered how Felicity had teased her about getting proposed to by Slade at his family dinner.
She took small peeks at him and decided that not even Slade would be so brash.
“So tell me more about the thriller writer who’s working on his book at your library,” Jessica said, her voice a low purr. “He seems like a brooder. Kind of a loner, if you ask me. Can he carry a normal conversation, or does he live inside his head most of the time?”
Livvy had to choose her words carefully. First, because it was Slade’s sister asking her, and second, Slade could hear every word she said.
“There’s not a lot of conversation at the library,” Livvy said.
“Oh, right,” Jessica said with a laugh. “Those Keep Quiet signs and all.”
“This food is so amazing,” Livvy said, trying to steer the topic away from Mason. “If my mom was here, she’d be asking for recipes.”
“What’s your mom like?” Jessica asked.
Livvy decided that her mom might not have been the best detour, because everyone at the table fell silent as she gave a brief sketch of her parents and her younger brother.
Slade’s phone rang while she was talking, and he excused himself.
“The doctor’s always in demand,” Slade’s mother said, affection in her tone, and everyone around the table laughed.
Thankfully the conversation turned to the grandkids and their antics. Livvy hadn’t eaten much, but she felt more than full. She sipped at her water while she wondered how long Slade was going to be.
“You’ll have to see the photo albums of Slade when he was in high school,” his mother crooned. “Always a straight-A student. Now Jessica, on the other hand—she made sure she enjoyed every moment.”
Everyone laughed while Jessica pretended to glower. Livvy smiled politely. Slade’s family was great, but the sick feeling in her stomach wouldn’t subside. Her guilt was eating her from the inside out. And even when she did confess to Slade, she knew it wouldn’t be to get him to forgive her and stay together. And it wouldn’t be because she thought Mason would take her back.
She knew she’d be making a clean break. From both men.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Slade said close to her ear.
Livvy turned to look up at him.
He had that puppy-dog look in his eyes. “I really hate to say this, but I’ve got to get to the hospital. I think I can be out of there in about an hour, then I’ll come back here just in time for pie.”
Heat shot through Livvy.
“If you have to stay longer,” Jessica piped up, “Ben and I can take her home.”
“Okay, I have no problem with that,” Slade said, squeezing Livvy’s shoulder. “What do you think, Liv?”
Livvy’s hands started shaking. “Um, we’ll see,” she said in a too-bright voice. “I’ll walk you to your car, and we can talk about it.”
Slade frowned. “I’ve got to leave now though.”
Livvy scooted her chair back. She didn’t want to tell Slade that she wasn’t going to be left behind with his entire family listening in.
Slade was still frowning. “Everything okay?” he asked in that concerned-doctor voice of his.
“Great,” Livvy said, forcing a smile. “We can talk outside.”
His brows lifted, and everyone at the table had fallen silent.
So awkward.
Livvy had no idea where her coat had ended up, and she didn’t want to ask for it because then she’d have to announce that she was leaving with Slade. All she wanted to do was disappear.
She’d come to this dinner thinking... Well, she didn’t know what she’d been thinking. But it wasn’t to be left at the mercy of his family, as if she needed to be entertained, while Slade ran off to play doctor.
Slade’s coat was hanging on a rack by the door, and when he picked it up, thankfully, there was her coat too. She grabbed it.
Slade said nothing, but opened the front door.
“What’s this all about, Liv?” he said as they walked to the Land Rover.
“I want you to take me home, Slade.”
He stopped and turned to face her. “Hey, I won’t be gone that long. I promise. My family is so excited that you’re here.”
“It’s not how long you’ll be gone,” Livvy said, folding her arms. “And you have a great family, but I’m finished with being the last person on your list.”
Slade stepped back as if she’d physically pushed him. “What are you talking about?” His phone rang, and he had the audacity to fish it out of his back pocket and look at the screen. “Hey, can we talk about this later tonight? I’ve really got to get to the hospital.”
“We can talk on the way to my house,” Livvy said, moving toward the Land Rover and opening the passenger-side door. “You won’t lose more than a few minutes by dropping me off. Either that or I’m calling a taxi.”
Slade blinked. “Jessica said—”
Livvy had already climbed in and shut the door, cutting off his words.
Slade didn’t move for a moment, then he hurried to the driver’s side. He said nothing as he started the engine and pulled around the circular driveway. When he turned onto the road, he fiddled with the heater controls, then sped up as they reached the main road.
Livvy couldn’t ever remember seeing Slade mad. In fact his mild manner with everything was annoying, when she thought about it. It was like he was always on the same emotional wavelength. No ups or downs. Always apologizing. She was so tired of hearing him tell her he was sorry.
Ironic, since she should be the one telling him.
But she wasn’t sorry. Not anymore.
They were about ten minutes into their drive when Livvy said, “What do you like about me, Slade?”
“What?” The word was clipped.
“Just tell me one thing you like about me.”
She felt Slade’s incredulous gaze on her, but was the question really too hard to answer? She tried to think of any compliments that Slade might have given her over the past five months, and she came up empty.
He slowed at a stoplight. No one was at the intersection, and soon the light turned green. Slade accelerated. “Your eyes are pretty.”
Livvy stared straight ahead. Okay... The seconds ticked by. “Is that all? You like my eyes?”
Slade exhaled. “You kind of sprung this on me. And you said one thing. Do you want a list or something?”
“No,” Livvy said in a faint voice. Her eyes burned, and her throat ached. Only a few more streets to go. If the temperature were any warmer, she’d tell him to drop her off at one of the corners so she could walk.
He didn’t even pull into her driveway but stopped at the curb.
“You know my mom’s going to be upset,” Slade said. “Pies are her specialty.”
Livvy put her hand on the door handle, then looked over at him. “Then go back there, Slade. If you aren’t going to put me first, at least put your family first. They love you, and they’re proud of you.”
Slade stared at her.
“Don’t worry about walking me to the doorstep,” Livvy continued. “I’ve got it. Just do me one favor. Don’t call me again.” She popped open the door and stepped down from the Land Rover.
“Liv . . .” Slade said. His tone wasn’t quite pleading... more incredulous. Disbelieving.
She shut the door and walked to her doorstep. Before she could even unlock it, Slade peeled out from the curb. That’s when her tears finally fell.