Kitty

I return to Vicious’ apartment in what feels like disgrace. Slick is no longer here. It’s just me and Vicious and the place seems smaller for that fact. Vicious walks in and pours himself a tumbler of whiskey. He doesn’t offer me any. I stand there with my backpack over my shoulder like a kid at a sleepover, feeling awkward and guilty.

“You can put that in the bedroom,” he says. “Do that, then come out here.”

I do as I’m told, then I come out to see him again. He’s waiting, tall, dark, stern and imposing. I wait to hear what he has to say, knowing I am far from out of trouble.

“What have you learned today, Kitty?”

“That I’m a fucking monster?”

“We’re all monsters,” he says. “That’s not the answer I’m looking for.”

“I’ve learned that you win,” I say. “I learned that I’m fucked. I’ve learned that at least one person tried to kill me today, and that they will probably keep trying. I’ve learned that I’m not even that good at being a courier, so what’s even the point. I’ve learned…”

“Enough!” Vicious interrupts me. “The lesson I was hoping you might have gotten around to learning was it’s best to obey me without question.”

I think about that for a second. “Well, er. I mean. You sent me off to get caught by the cops, so…”

“You weren’t paying attention. That wasn’t my doing. You could have avoided the police.”

“They were right outside the door!”

“Because the front door is the only way to make a delivery? You’re a courier, not a bloody postman,” he snaps at me. “You should be more inventive than that.”

He’s right. I could have found another approach. I could have gone in through an adjoining building, or maybe found a way up to the roof. But I was distracted, thinking about him.

“Sorry,” I mumble. “You’re right.”

He looks surprised. “Well,” he says. “If you accept responsibility, punishment may not be necessary.”

“You were going to punish me… again?” I swallow. “You already did that.”

“You’ve been punished for walking away from me. There was still the punishment for failing today. As you said, you were distracted. You didn’t pay attention to your surroundings. If someone intending to harm you was out there, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

I nod humbly. Then a thought occurs to me. It was lucky I was surrounded by cops and not criminals. It was so lucky it couldn’t have been luck.

“So that job today was a training run?”

“Yes,” Vicious says, finishing his whiskey.

“So the man I was delivering to… the delivery itself… none of it was real?”

“Correct.”

“So… how did you get cops to hang out and wait for me?”

“That’s not something you need to worry about.”

“I mean, cops don’t do criminals favors. They don’t hang around helping people practice breaking the law more effectively… are you a cop?”

His smirk grows broad. “No, Kitty. I’m not a cop.”

“You’re more than just a criminal, that’s for sure.”

“Let’s say the NYPD owes me a few favors and leave It at that.”

I’m curious, but I’m not in the mood to push him. My pride is wounded. My ego is absolutely shattered.

“Is it really true? About the toxin?”

He gives a curt nod. “I’m half surprised you didn’t put two and two together at the time. It was in the news, right down to the location.”

“I don’t watch the news. It’s depressing and hysterical.”

Vicious smirks, his eyes glinting with amusement as he tips his glass at me. “Now there, little Kitty, we can agree.”

I sit down on the couch. I haven’t been invited to, but neither have I been dismissed from the room, and standing there is starting to make me feel even more nervous than I already am. Vicious makes me feel like I’ve been called before the principal to answer for my sins. In a way, I guess I have.

I really don’t know what he has planned for me. I don’t know what the future holds. I am sure he will find a use for me. He has to, really. Can’t have some girl sitting around taking up space which is probably usually occupied by the glamorous, lithe sirens who strut the better venues of New York. We both know I’m not in his league.

He’s been sexual with me, but he has avoided anything really intimate. Sex has been wielded like a weapon, used to break me down and make me capitulate. I should hate him for that, and yet I crave something more from him. A tender look or touch. Something, anything to make me feel like I matter.

There it is again, that old ego. He saved my life. Isn’t that enough? Does he have to fall head over heels in love with me too? Just how much am I expecting from this guy? He’s been the devil from the outset, but in my head he’s becoming so much more than that.

“Penny for your thoughts,” he drawls. “You stare so prettily.”

“I was wondering what you’re going to use me for.”

A smirk dimples his cheek. “You have so very many… uses, Kitty. But don’t worry, you’ll have work, and soon.”

“Am I going to stay here, or…”

“I intend to keep you close until I’m sure you’re well broken in,” he says. “You’re frightened tonight. You may change your mind tomorrow. You agreed to work for me and then disagreed, then agreed, then disagreed, so now you’re back to agreeing, forgive me if I don’t find that particularly believable.”

“I didn’t know I was an accessory to murder then. I didn’t know I wasn’t safe in my own home anymore. I didn’t know anything.”

“No, but the shock of knowing will wear off soon enough. You’ll find whatever chaotic equilibrium which makes you think you know best and you will give me cause to whip some tender part of you until you cry out your apology. It’s inevitable, Kitty. It’s how you are.”

“I am capable of learning.”

“Maybe, but slowly.”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Are you taking that tone with me?” His question shuts mine down cold.

I can’t meet those eyes anymore. I lower my head and stare intently at the rug. Blaze would love to be rolled up in this damn rug. Thinking of her make me smile. She’d know what to do. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Things have changed. Vicious isn’t really my captor now. He’s my protector - but still he’s the same hard-ass ruthless motherfucker he’s always been.

Vicious

Poor little thing. It’s very late and she’s mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted. I woke her from sleep to save her life and tear her world to shreds at the same time. It worked, but I’m far from done. She thinks I want to use her, but she has no idea just how much I want from her.

The truth is, from the moment I picked Kitty up, I’ve been at war with myself. I knew I was attracted to her. I knew I wanted to fuck her. I didn’t know I’d fall for her.

I told myself that I let her walk away today just so I could teach her a lesson later. That was part of it. The other part is that I let her walk away because, for a moment, I realized how much better she deserved than what I have done to her, and what I will yet do.

I could take her to bed now and make her scream my name, ravage her tender body. I could wrap myself around her and sink inside her and use her until my rough desires are sated. It’s what I want to do. It’s what I’d usually do to a damsel in distress. But with her, I don’t. I hold back. I stay standing tall above her, because I sense this is what she needs. Someone solid to hold on to.

Kitty’s in danger. And that means she doesn’t need a man who loves her. She needs a man who can control her. They might be the same thing, but so often they’re not. When a man loves a woman, he gets soft on her. He lets her get away with things he knows she shouldn’t. I know where that path leads, and I won’t go down it again.

“Go to bed.” I make the order clipped and stern. I see her face fall, but she does as she’s told. She can be a good girl when she wants to be.

“Vicious?”

“Yes?”

“Will you come with me? In case…”

She trails off, but I know what she’s getting at. In case the people who want to hurt her come back. She no longer feels safe in bed, and that will not do. The only person anyone in my circle should ever be afraid of is me.