Prostrate in the thorn bushes, I nodded at the shepherd boy. ‘Yes, I was supposed to be on the ship with my family, but I escaped.’
I caught a glimmer of admiration in his big brown eyes. ‘You hurt?’ he asked.
‘My wrist . . .’ Trying to lift it was excruciating. ‘I think it’s broken.’
‘Look at that. Broke as sure as eggshells. You want me to fix it, Jew Girl?’
I didn’t believe this shepherd had the knowledge to set bones. ‘I should go to the hospital.’ The pain made me gulp between words.
‘You do and they’ll just stick you on the ships with all the other Jews, see. I heard they’s killin’ them all.’ He nodded over his shoulder towards the distant sea.
‘What do you mean? How do you know about anything like that? You’re making it up to scare me. Well, it’s not working, Shepherd Boy. I’m not scared. Not at all!’
‘I saw the procession at sunrise, down to the harbour. I got a hammock in the tree up there, guarding your father’s sheep against feral dogs. I can see all the way out to sea from that tree.’ He lifted his chin towards a gnarled old carob on a rocky promontory above.
The horror of what he said welled up and filled by brain. ‘You liar! Why are you saying such things? My family’s on that ship! Mama, Papa, my brothers, and all my relations too.’
‘Just be glad you’re not.’
‘If it’s true, why didn’t you do something to stop the soldiers? Somebody should have done something! Where are they going? I can’t accept that you actually had that information and we didn’t.’
‘Of course I knew. Everybody knows. They’re shipping them to the prison camp. No one comes out of them places alive. We was told, “look the other way or you’ll be next”, so everyone did.’
‘You’re lying! How could people know and do nothing? If our neighbours had been taken away, we’d have fought for them! There must be a hundred Rhodians for every German.’ If it wasn’t for the pain in my wrist, I’d have hit him.
‘Ask yourself: why did they take your wireless? So you wouldn’t hear what’s happening overseas.’ He pulled the catapult out of his belt and laid it next to my arm. ‘This’ll hurt, but if you scream we’ll be in trouble. I need some material to tie your arm to my ’pult before we move.’
I hardly listened to him. My family were heading for an awful prison camp? It couldn’t be true!
‘Jew Girl!’ He pulled me from my thoughts. ‘What shall I use for strapping your wrist to the splint?’
Unable to concentrate on anything but my loved ones, I said, ‘We have to stop the ships! The Germans told everyone they were going to work on another island.’
‘We can’t do a thing until your wrist’s bound. Shall I rip a strip off your frock?’
‘No, take it off my petticoat.’ I was trying not to cry.
The shepherd boy’s words hurt as much as my wrist. How could they put my family in a prison, and where was this place? Would there be a doctor to care for my mother’s bad legs? Would there be a comfortable bed for my grandfather and his crooked back? Had Mama packed the hot water bottle for when Sammie got earache? My head was full of questions.
‘Stay still. I’ll get it off you,’ he said.
The pain increased, throbbing knives that slashed right up to the backs of my eyes. Every movement made it worse. I lay almost face down in the scrub. He moved around to my feet and his hand slid up my leg. ‘Touch anything you’re not supposed to and I’ll scream my head off.’
‘Full of gratitude, aren’t you, Jew Girl?’ He tugged at my petticoat.
‘Can’t you just tear a strip off the bottom?’ I squeezed back tears and bit my lip.
He did, then he pulled the rubber sling off his catapult and pocketed it. I suspected he’d cut it from an inner tube.
While he strapped my wrist to the catapult, his great mop of dark hair hung over my face. It had a strong herby smell that I was trying to place when he said, ‘What you sniffin’ me like a dog for?’
My cheeks burned. ‘Sorry. Your hair’s very shiny, but it smells . . . unusual.’
He put his arms around me and helped me to sit, answering my question as he did so. His mouth was next to my ear and, as he spoke, strange tingling sensations passed through me and my heart raced. For a moment, I felt safe in his embrace, and then oddly excited. I put my shivery feelings down to delayed shock, from the fall.
‘It’s rosemary. Stops me gettin’ nits off the sheep, see?’
‘Nits!’ That brought me back to reality. My head itched at the mention and I pulled away from him.
‘You’re brave, Jew Girl,’ he said breathily. I saw a glimmer of admiration in his eyes, but there again, perhaps it was annoyance. ‘We must get away from here, this place is too close to the Axis camp.’
He frowned and squinted into the sun, towards Filerimos, where I hoped Irini and Evangelisa were still waiting for me. But what if they had been captured? What if the Germans had put Irini and Evangelisa straight onto a boat – a different boat from Mama and Papa? Were they safer on a ship than here? Was the shepherd boy telling the truth? He looked like a liar and a thief, and how could I know he wasn’t?
All kinds of horrors raced through my mind.
‘I have to get to our sheep hut, I’ve been away three days. My sister—’ I stopped myself. What if the business with the bike was all an act? The shepherd boy might be a traitor.
‘You’ve got a sister?’
Could I trust him? I peered into his eyes and decided I had no choice. ‘My sister and friend are alone, waiting for me. They’ve no notion of what’s happened in town.’
He made a sling from another strip of material and knotted it behind my neck. I got to my feet and crouched in the undergrowth while he hid his bicycle in the bushes.
We both listened for army traffic, deciding when it was safe to follow the sheep track to the monastery.
‘Now!’ the shepherd boy exclaimed. ‘Stay low, and when I say, “down!” drop into the scrub, right?’
‘Right.’
We ran uphill, towards the monastery. My arm seemed to explode with every step and, in less than a hundred metres, I had to walk.
‘What’s your name, Shepherd Boy?’
‘Giovanni Pastore, shepherd. My family have been shepherds since Byzantium. What’s yours, Jew Girl?’ he said sarcastically.
‘Pandora Cohen. Why did you kiss me like that?!’
‘’Cause I wanted to. My father says you should do what you want with women, so I did. You’re the first woman I got a chance to kiss. You objectin’ or somethin’?’
A weird little spark of pride went off inside me at being referred to as a woman. ‘Yes, I’m objecting! You so much as smile at my sister or my friend and I’ll make you sorry you ever did.’ I stammered.
‘You talk a lot, Jew Girl.’
‘And stop calling me that. It’s not polite!’
‘Why? You ashamed, or what?’
‘No. What have I got to be ashamed about?’
‘The weird things you lot do. I’d be ashamed.’
I pulled my chin in and stared at him. ‘You’re talking rubbish, Shepherd Boy!’ Then I had to ask, ‘What weird things?’
‘Killing babies and drinking their blood, for a start.’
‘What?! What a preposterous thing to say. Why would anyone invent horrible stories like that?’
‘Because it’s true, I’ve been told.’
‘Do you believe everything you’re told, boy? Because if you do, you set yourself up for pure ridicule. There’ll be lots of people laughing behind your back.’
He stopped in his tracks and frowned. After a moment he said, ‘So it’s not true? You don’t drink their blood?’
‘Of course it’s not true!’ Then I couldn’t help myself. ‘We roast them on a spit,’ I said quietly. He looked absolutely horrified. Unable to keep my face straight a moment longer, I burst out laughing.
He appeared confused, but then understood the joke.
‘All right, you got me. To be honest, I never believed it anyway.’ The vegetation grew higher as we approached the woodland.
We continued in silence and eventually pushed through the trees that surrounded our hut.
‘Dora!’ Evangelisa cried, running to meet us. ‘What happened to you?’
Relieved that they weren’t on the ship, I introduced Irini and my sister to Giovanni before telling them I had fallen and broken my wrist.
‘Is there any water in the hut, Irini? I’m terribly thirsty.’
She nodded and fetched me a glass, which I gulped down before even saying thanks.
Evangelisa started crying, ‘I want to go home! You left us all alone for days, Dora. I was scared you wouldn’t come back.’
I put my arm around her shoulders. ‘Look, we’ll return home soon. Mama and Papa have gone to work on another island for a few days, so we’ll have an adventure living in the sheep hut while they’re away. It’ll be fun, you’ll see.’
Irini told the shepherd boy, ‘We’ve no food left, even the pine nuts are finished, and Evangelisa’s only got one shoe.’
Giovanni promised to bring us something to eat in the morning, and he took my sister’s broken shoe with him. He jerked his head sideways at Irini and said, ‘Come with me, we’ll get some wild pears and pomegranates.’
I had the measure of him straightaway. I wasn’t going to let the shepherd boy kiss my friend. ‘You stay here, Irini. I’ll go,’ I said squinting at Giovanni.
He scowled.
‘But what about your arm?’ Irini looked disappointed. ‘You should rest it. Besides, I’ve been cooped up for days, Dora.’ She glanced at Evangelisa. ‘I really need a break.’ She took the contents of my bag into the hut, slung the duffel onto her back, and then followed Giovanni.
‘Don’t you dare try anything, Shepherd Boy!’ I called after them.
Frantic about Mama and Papa and, also, in severe pain, I went to lie down. I must have fallen asleep immediately. Evangelisa woke me.
‘Dora, I’m hungry.’
‘Evangelisa! My wrist’s broken and it hurts a lot, our family are on a ship bound for God knows where, and my friend’s just gone into the woods with an uncouth shepherd boy. I’m shocked that all you can think about is your belly!’ I snapped, instantly regretting my outburst.
Evangelisa’s lip curled. ‘There’s no need to be nasty. I want my Mama!’ she wailed.
‘I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.’ My own emotions bubbled to the surface. Starving and in pain, my own tears were dangerously close. I took Evangelisa into my arms and hugged her. ‘Come on now, be a big girl. We’re going to be fine.’
Irini returned alone. She gripped the hem of her skirt which contained a mound of small green pears and one large shiny pomegranate.
‘Where’s my duffel, Irini?’
‘Giovanni’s taken it to fill with things for us.’
We ate until stuffed and, as we lay on the bed, we listened to our stomachs gurgling from all the fruit.
I decided to wait until Evangelisa was asleep before I told Irini what had happened. Poor Mama and Papa. I wondered where they were right at that moment.
The candle flickered and shadows danced around the room before the flame gutted. Plunged into darkness, we snuggled up together under an old woollen blanket on the big bed.
Evangelisa squeezed my hand. ‘I’m scared, Dora. I can hear strange noises. Perhaps there’s a wild animal outside, or really bad people.’
‘Don’t be silly. It’s your imagination playing tricks,’ I said calmly. ‘Now go to sleep. I’ll be right beside you all night.’
Irini had her back to me. When Evangelisa was asleep, I turned over, rested my broken wrist on her waist and whispered, ‘Did Giovanni try to kiss you, Irini?’
‘Yes, but he asked me not to tell. But we’ll never have secrets, will we, Dora?’
I told her about him kissing me, and how I hated it when our teeth clashed together. ‘I’ve decided I don’t want to kiss another boy. I found it quite horrible.’
She turned over and gently stroked my face. ‘You’re doing it wrong, Dora. Be soft and gentle, like this.’
Irini kissed me delicately on the lips. Her breath like a hundred butterflies dancing over my face. I found her mouth much more pleasurable than anything else I had experienced. Then she kissed me a little longer and held me against her.
Before a minute had passed, I was kissing her back and I sensed she enjoyed the practice as much as I did. Comfortable in Irini’s embrace, with my body pressed against hers, I relaxed and allowed my mind to drift over all that had happened that day.
I thought about Papa, and my brothers, and poor Mama and her bad legs. Proud Granny with her mischevious smile. Grandpa and his painful lumbago, and Aunt Martha with her perfect makeup and her fine hairnet. Misery and despair filled every part of my body and I found myself crying for all those that I loved so much.
‘I’m afraid, Irini.’
She held me tightly while I sobbed into the crook of her neck.
‘It will be all right,’ she whispered. ‘I promise. Don’t fret now.’
In the darkness of that awful night, I wondered if the shepherd boy was correct, and my loving family were in for a horrible time. Were they really gone from my life forever? I refused to accept they’d be killed. Giovanni was a liar. Oh, Papa, what shall I do? My tears rose again and I sobbed in Irini’s arms.
‘What’s the matter? Is your arm hurting a lot?’ she asked gently.
I whispered my worst thoughts, that our families might be put to death in a Nazi prison. She started crying for her parents and her sister, Eva, too. She pleaded with me to tell her everything I’d experienced, and all about her family as I’d seen them in L’Aeronautica. She even made me describe what they wore, right down to her mother’s shoes.
I woke in the night with my arms around Irini. We fit together like two spoons. I felt I was holding my entire family and I recalled each in turn, the unique things about them, individual qualities, and special moments we had shared. How could I get used to the idea that I’d never see them again? Giovanni was wrong. I kissed Irini between her shoulder blades and pressed my cheek against her back. My loved ones would return – they had to.
*
This night seems endless. I clung to my friend and stared into the dark for a long time, afraid of all that the dawn might bring for those I loved. Unable to go back to sleep, I slipped out of bed, lit the oil lamp, and finished writing the events of this terrible day. I have to find a way to help my family. I don’t know how, but there must be something I can do.