Chapter 23 – Headaches

Addy –

Looking into the mirror, I drag my hands over my tired face and shadowed eyes.

It’s been a long week and a half. The longest I remember in…well…a really long time. As a self-preservation tactic, I decided I needed more than internet shopping to distract me, and threw myself even further into my work, purely to keep my mind off worrying about Crew. Little had I known I wouldn’t need a tactic at all, because the business I’ve come to love has become one pain in my ass after another.

It started less than a week ago when out of the blue, I got a surprise visit from the Virginia Department of Alcohol Beverage Control. Having my liquor licenses current and valid are an underlying necessity of running a business that produces, distributes, and sells wine, not to mention serves it at every function. It’s the reason customers choose us as a venue to begin with. My landscape doesn’t hurt, but really, it’s all about the wine.

So when the VABC showed up last week unexpectedly, informing me they had a tip we were serving minors, my day and my week went to shit. Hell, with all that’s happened in the last week, I can pretty much say my life has gone to shit.

My staff and I are overly careful who we serve. We card every single buyer who comes through the tasting room, whether they look eight or eighty. At events, our servers are told to card everyone who appears under the age of forty. This can be a pain in the ass, but if I lose my liquor license, I can’t operate, and if I can’t operate, I can’t make any money. No one comes to Whitetail Farms to drink a Shirley Temple and play with my cows.

The investigating agent was aloof, not giving much information other than it was reported happening at an event that took place over a month ago, and a full investigation would have to happen, but I could appeal if I felt so inclined.

I obviously “felt so inclined” and hired counsel to make sure I didn’t miss any loopholes. This isn’t something I can screw around with on my own. I know when I’m in over my head and need a professional to get me through. My attorneys advised me to “be on our game” with carding customers since the ABC is notorious for setting up stings like sending in underage guests to test us. This stressed me out all the more and has taken time away from my normal responsibilities of managing the vineyard. If I wasn’t already stressed about Crew being gone, why he’s gone, and not knowing anything about his wellbeing, my visit from the Virginia ABC put me over the top.

I thought the VABC put me over the top, until two days ago when the Health Department made a surprise visit. They brought in an entire team, disrupting business when they plowed through our kitchen, barrel room, and cellars, doing a thorough inspection of everything. I’ve had visits from the Health Department in the past, but scheduled ones to keep the winery licensed to serve food. We’ve never had any citations because Maggie’s a drill sergeant in there. She knows the ins and outs of her job, making sure we’re up to snuff per all regulations.

I was informed one of my employees anonymously reported us for improper storage of perishables.

What the hell?

First of all, it’s untrue, and second of all, and most important of all, not one of my employees would call us in on anything. Even grasping at straws, there’s no way it could even be my new girl, Maya. I was told the allegations came in before she started.

They disrupted my business for hours. Not only did it stop us from serving food, but it was embarrassing to have this going on with customers who were trying to enjoy a relaxing day at my winery. When a couple of customers caught eye of the Health Department, they got up and walked out with disgusted looks on their faces, without glancing at a menu. I didn’t even want to think about what was being posted about my winery on the foodie blogs and review sites. It’s a business owner’s worst nightmare.

Was it only a week and a half ago my life was perfect? That I slept through the night not worrying about the future? It seems like forever ago that Crew was by my side, taking away my fears, and in my bed giving to me in every way. He’s even worked his way into my heart, and every additional moment he’s gone cements deeper in my soul that I want him forever.

Since Crew left, everything has fallen apart. I’m dealing with an ongoing investigation of the ABC, my newly acquired counsel, the worry of an underage sting operation, and the Health Department threatening to come back at any time for another surprise inspection. Even through all this, I can’t get Crew out of my head. I wonder what he’s doing, where he is, or if he’s safe. If he’s not safe or God forbid something happens to him, how will I know? Will Asa tell me?

Asa’s slept on my sofa on the main level every night since Crew left. He arrives late, scarfing down his meal while chatting with me. During our first few evenings together, I grilled him for information about Crew.

He put me off softly to begin with, but by the third night he looked at me seriously and said, “Beautiful, you’re killin’ me with these questions. Wish I could answer you, but I can’t. I know very little and what I do know, I can’t say. I will tell you that Crew’s one of the best at what he does. Grady used to be on top right there with him, but he let his mind fuck with him and lost his focus. We need to let Crew do what he can to get Grady out for good. I know the man better than anyone and after the last ten years, he can’t live with regrets. Let him do his thing and he’ll be back. He never would’ve left you if he didn’t know you were completely safe with me here on your property.”

“I’m not worried about me,” I refuted.

“Good.” Then he sighed—yet it didn’t appear to be a sigh of relief—before he went on. “Don’t you worry about him, either.”

That shut me up, and after he put an end to my interrogation about all things Crew, I realized Asa and I didn’t have much to talk about. Sitting around with him in weird silence before I went off to my bed alone sucked.

I pull my hair back into a low ponytail, and after applying enough concealer to hide my dark eyes, I look away from my reflection. I’m sick of seeing the reminders etched in my face from the last miserable eleven days.

I decide to drive up to the main building, I’m too tired for the short hike. I haven’t walked with my cows in days and I’m sure Harry will start to hold a grudge with her only human contact being Morris. He treats them like cows, slopping their food, not talking to them while filling their water, and not gifting them enough molasses. Forget Harry, Scarlett will be downright pissed.

My mind is so boggled with the current messes in my life, I almost forgot about the event we’ve got going on this afternoon. It’s the one Clara landed forever ago, the Eastern Horse Breeders Association. I’ve got a lot to do. It’s time to focus on work and forget about the headaches surrounding me.

*****

My neighbor across the highway, Thomas Kane, is heading up this event. The Kanes are from old money—their horse breeding business has been in their family for generations. When most people put their kids in team sports, their kids specialize in everything equestrian. Even coming from old money, they’re not at all pretentious. They’ve not only become friends, but are also supporters of Whitetail Farms.

“I appreciate this booking, Thomas. I hope everything’s the way you wanted.” I look to my neighbor who broke away from his counterparts to talk to me. We’re on the patio overlooking my acres of vines.

His friendly face turns into a smirk when he lowers his voice. “It’s great, just as I told them it would be, Addy. I’m not completely selfless, though. This is right across from my property, everyone had to drive by my ranch to get here. You get the business—I get the exposure. Artificial insemination in horses is barely up-and-coming in these parts. I might need to move farther west, to Kentucky, to really get my share of the market.”

“You’re moving?” I’m surprised, they have generations rooted in this area. I’ve learned that when you get this far out of the metro, there aren’t nearly as many transplants, most pride themselves as being locals.

“I like to think of my plans as more of an expansion. If I can make it work, I’ll sell my land here and buy bigger in Kentucky. Breeding isn’t just horse romance anymore—it’s technology. To grow my business like I want, I need to be located in a bigger market.”

I give him a small smile and try not to look as tired as I feel. “We’ll miss you if you go, but I get it.”

“Addy!” I hear coming from behind me. When I turn to look, Evan is approaching with a scowl marring his young face, and he’s usually so happy. He quickly makes his way through the crowd. “You need to come, now. The IRS just showed.”

“What?” If it were possible, my stomach just sank to the ground, taking my fleeting energy with it.

Evan’s face tightens as he shakes his head, looking sorry for me. “They didn’t say why they’re here, only that they need to speak with the manager or owner, whoever’s in charge. I’m sorry Addy, I know you’ve been through the wringer lately, but they don’t look very friendly.”

What in the hell is going on? First the ABC, then the Health Department, and now the IRS? I’m right there with Evan, I have no clue why they would show up out of the blue.

When my eyes droop from sheer exhaustion, I feel a hand light on my shoulder and glance over to see my neighbor with a reassuring look on his face. “Go, Addy, take care of business. I’m sure it’s nothing. Clara has everything covered here.”

I offer him a tight smile, because I’m absolutely sure after the last hellacious eleven days, this is anything but nothing.

*****

“Everything bad happens in threes, right? I’m sure this is simply a fluke, nothing like this ever happened to previous owners. If anyone came callin,’ it was bankers because they had no clue how to run a business. The tax people will come back tomorrow, quietly finish going through the books, and it will be done. You’re not taking cash under the table to avoid paying taxes.”

I look across to sweet Bev, whose overly-positive attitude has never annoyed me in the past, but it does now. This isn’t the rule of threes, this isn’t a coincidence, and this isn’t something that’s going to blow over quickly. This could go on and on, for who knows how long. But there’s one thing I’m certain of.

Someone’s fucking with me.

“Bev, you know I love you, but you’re wrong.” Clara looks from Bev to me. She’s just as pissed off as I am, reaffirming my thoughts. “Someone’s fucking with you. They’re fucking with us.”

I have a feeling I know who’s fucking with me, but I can’t tell them. If a certain Army Lieutenant Colonel can commit treason against our country for over twenty-five years, fucking with my little winery has got to be child’s play for him.

Today was yet one more thing to add to all my headaches lately. The Internal Revenue Service said they had reason to believe I was accepting cash under the table for our products and services. After a long afternoon of auditors digging through my receivables, I called an emergency company meeting to discuss the issues we’ve been plagued with lately.

Of course one can’t accept cash under the table. Uncle Sam wants his cut of everything. It’s illegal and I know it. I’m a business owner who’s always gone the distance to walk the straight and narrow. I take it seriously that my mom bought us new identities all those years ago. I don’t need any additional attention from the government. So far, I’ve never had an issue, but the accusations swirling around my business lately are crazy, to say the least. Right now I’m worried about much more than my vineyard.

“Who would do this?” Evan asks. “Maybe a local winery bitter about us getting the White House gig? Sure, it’s a competitive local market, but until now it’s seemed friendly. I don’t get it.”

“I’m still angry about the Health Department,” Maggie chimes in, not able to get over anyone questioning her ability to do her job. “I invited those dumb asses to eat off my floor—it’s that clean.”

“Addy,” Van calls for me. “What exactly did they say?”

I rub my eyes—positive all my makeup has now been worn off. It’s late, the IRS auditors were here until after closing, weeding through my books.

“They said they had reason to believe I was accepting cash for payments of goods and services and not reporting it. My books are usually current, but I’m no accountant and keep them myself, I’m nervous I missed something.” I look at everyone around the room with determination. “I report one-hundred percent of our income. I swear, it’s all on the up and up.”

“We know,” Morris says angrily and continues to lecture me the way he would his kids. “Don’t question that, you hear me? They can dig all they want. It’s time everyone leaves you alone—you work hard enough as it is. We all do.”

I sigh and give my grumpy but supportive caretaker a small smile. “Thanks everyone, but you all might have to actually help prove it. They said they might have to interview the team. I hope it won’t come down to that.”

“Don’t worry, Addy. We can handle it.” Van gets up and comes over to me, pulling me in for a deep side-hug.

I look to my newest employee, who’s been silent throughout the entire staff meeting. “I swear, Maya, it’s never like this. I feel badly there’s been so much turmoil since you started. I’ll understand if you run away and never look back.”

Maya, who’s proven to be a hard worker, even if she is a quiet one, shakes her head quickly. “It’s not a big deal. My dad owns…a company. I understand things happen. I like it here—I won’t be running anywhere.”

Just then the front door opens and Asa is standing there. Taking in our group first, he eyes me carefully before asking, “You about done for the day? I told Crew I’d make sure you got home.”

“Oh, that’s sweet.” Bev smiles at me big. “When does Crew get back from his business trip?”

Everyone’s been asking about him, and the longer he’s gone, it’s getting harder to put them off. “I’m not sure. He’s still working on his project.” Looking to the rest of the group, I finish up the meeting. “I know some of you keep your own hours, but if everyone could be here first thing in the morning in case they need to interview any of you, that’d be good. The sooner I get them out of here, the better.”

Everyone said their goodbyes, and after I shut down for the night, Asa followed me home. I gave him the rundown of my latest debacle, trying to avoid our weird silence. As he and I sit in the kitchen, I feel a headache coming on. With all that’s gone on with the winery and the unknowns about Crew bogging my brain, I’ve had enough. It’s time to deal with one of my biggest worries head on.

I look to Asa and feeling bold, I state, “You know about me.”

Asa stops his fork mid-way to his mouth, looking confused. “I’m sorry?”

“Me. My past, my so-called ‘background’ as Crew refers to it. You know about me.”

He sits back in his chair and takes a big breath before answering me carefully. “I pull all the backgrounds.”

I guess I’ll take that as a yes.

I tell him something he probably already knows. “I have a fake name.”

He says nothing, but raises an eyebrow.

“And a fake social security number.”

This bought me a chin lift. I guess I’ll take that as confirmation of his acknowledgement, too.

“My mom made that happen. She paid dearly for it at the time, but it was forever ago, technology wasn’t what it is today. I’d ask Crew if he was here, but he’s not. He left me you, so that means you get my questions. With everything that’s happened with the winery, all the attention I’m getting from different government agencies, should I be worried?” I ask what’s been in the back of my head for days, but I kept telling myself it would all be fine. After today, I’m downright scared it won’t all be fine.

Leaving his face void of expression, he tips his head. “Two months ago, I’d say maybe.”

“What? What do you mean, ‘two months ago?’” Panic laces my voice.

“But not today.” He keeps talking as if I didn’t say a word. “You’re good, Addy. Crew made sure of it.”

“What do you mean, he made sure of it?”

“Crew didn’t do it, but he gave the order. I was the one who made sure of it. Abigail Ross is buried, as deep or deeper than Crew’s real profession. He was worried about it and I personally made it happen.” He explained this as if it was as simple as him doing me the favor of picking up my mail while I was on vacation, then digs back into his dinner.

Letting it sink in that Crew’s been taking care of me in ways even I didn’t understand, I finally form the words, “You did that for me?”

“No.” He swallows and takes a sip of his iced tea. “I did it for Crew, but I’d do anything for Crew.”

With that, I realize I know nothing about Asa. “How long have you known him?”

“Crew hasn’t told you?” He leans back in his chair, leaving his meal be.

I shake my head. “Crew’s told me about his job and that you two work together. I assumed at one point you did what he did, but he’s never elaborated.”

He scoffs when he says on a huff, “I guess that’s good. Means he doesn’t hold it against me.”

“Hold what against you?”

“Recruiting him after his dad was killed. I’ve known Crew since he was in high school. I worked under his dad—he was my sergeant at the PD when I was a rookie. I was recruited young as well, a few years after I started. But unlike Crew, I didn’t break contact with everyone in my life. I stayed friends with his dad, Bruce, and saw him every time I came back to town.”

“You’ve known him a long time.” For some reason this warms my heart, because Crew’s made it clear he doesn’t have a lot of people in his life.

He shakes his head. “Don’t do that, beautiful. I’m not the prized favorite uncle. It’s my doing he’s lived the life he has for the last ten years. He was young when his dad was killed and wasn’t dealing with any of it well. I thought I was doin’ him a favor, offering him another way to get out of the limelight, away from the attention he didn’t want. Not many days have gone by where I don’t regret that.”

“Why would you have regrets? He doesn’t seem to have any.” I don’t understand his reasoning.

“Addy.” He leans forward on his forearms and looks across the table into my eyes. “To do this job, you have to be careful, have a cover, but there’s no need to disappear off the fucking earth and not have a life. He chose to disappear. Had I known that would happen, I never would’ve recruited him. Feel like he lost some of his best years because of me.”

“Oh.” I look away and think for a moment before responding. “I’m still getting to know him. He’s complex, I’d even say mysterious at first. He talks to me a lot—at least it feels like a lot—but regret never comes up. He seems steadfast in his decisions.”

Asa leans back, throwing his arm across the chair next to him to stretch out. “I agree, Addy. He’s got no regrets. Still doesn’t mean he couldn’t’ve had a richer life another way. I will say, he’s changed since he met you.”

I bite my lip and my heart catches. “Really?”

“Really.” His answer comes instantly. “Seein’ him with you, bein’ with you? He’s different. I’m just sorry it took him so long to find it.”

I don’t like being the topic of conversation, so I ask, “What about you? Who’s in your life?”

He gives his head a shake and tries to blow me off. “I’m divorced. As you know, being gone with no communication is hard. She’s a good woman, but couldn’t handle it. She’s since moved on but we’ve got two kids. I don’t see ‘em enough, but I’m trying to rectify that.”

“I hope you do, Asa.”

I know what it’s like to be alone, and I hate that for him. Even if he seems a bit closed off to me, I feel sorry for him after getting to know Crew. The life these men chose to lead is difficult, and it’s probably harder being a dad. Asa’s handsome with his medium brown hair, with only a few flecks of gray at his temples. He keeps his beard full, yet trimmed. I know he’s older, but just like the rest of the men in their secret sect, he’s built for the job they’ve chosen.

It’s late and it’s been a long day, but I don’t forget where this conversation started before I got sidetracked with the topic of Crew. “Any update on Sheldon O’Rourke?”

He gives me a smirk like he’s on to me. “How much Crew tells you is his business. I’m sure it’s more than he’s supposed to since you are what you are to him. I like you, Addy, but I’m not putting my ass out there to update you on a CIA investigation.”

“Asa, I’ve had the ABC, the Health Department, and just today, the IRS knocking my door down accusing my winery of a menagerie of wrongdoings. That’s no coincidence. I can’t think of anyone else I know who has the reach or means to make that happen besides O’Rourke. I like flying under the radar, and as much as I appreciate you making sure my true identity is safe, someone’s trying to screw with me, and I think that someone is O’Rourke.”

Asa mulls this over, taking another drink before finally giving in. “I’ll see what I can find out, but even if I do find something, doesn’t mean I can tell you. You looking at me with those big, brown eyes might make me want to tell you everything, but I can’t.” His smirk grows, creating tiny lines around his hazel eyes, softening his face nicely when he shakes his head. “My boy, Crew. He’s fucked.”

That makes me feel good, but I ignore it and push on. “So you’ll check into it for me?”

He smiles. “Oh, I’ll check, just not making any promises on what I’ll tell you.”

“You know—your mysterious little group of killers are quite resourceful. I’m finding you handy to have around,” I tease as I get up, anxious for my bed—even if it is empty—after my very long day. Giving him a genuine smile, I mean it with all my heart when I say, “Thank you, Asa, and thank you for being here. I’m glad Crew’s had you all these years.” Before I leave the kitchen, I turn to him one more time. “By the way, I have no love for the CIA after what they put my mom through. You can tell them to hurry the hell up, I’m sick of being quarantined. If they could put a stop to O’Rourke and his cronies yesterday, it’s too long for me.”

His smile turns into a big grin, transforming his face from an all-business killer to a captivating man any woman would gawk at for hours. “I’ll relay the message.”

I give him a sweet and fake-like smile, before heading upstairs. “Relaying messages to the CIA for me, you’re the best.”

As I head out, I notice he has a nice laugh and feel sorry for him. The life these men have chosen seems to come with solitude and loneliness. I hope he gets to see his kids more.