Chapter 26 – Blinding

 

Addy –

Certain moments in life become etched in your soul.

For me, I have merely a handful. Buried deep, they’re entwined, tangled, and even disheveled. Living together forever, they create who we are and how we see the world. More so, how we react to it, even live within it. Much like the vines that create my wine, it’s hard to see where one ends and the other begins.

My vine was planted the day I saw my dad murdered that cold day in the snow. Since then, these ticks in time have grown together, forming an intricate but beautiful mass of memories, shaping not only who I am, but who I want to be. They’re beautiful—every single one. Even if some are ugly. The ugly ones only make the beautiful ones shine so bright, they’re blinding.

This is one of those moments, a beautiful one that will live in me forever. To have Crew standing in front of me—home, safe, and returning as promised. And just as Asa demanded I should, I choose Crew.

I don’t care if he has to go back to keep his friend safe, or if he decides to go back on his own to take care of justice his own way, ridding our world of threats. Even if this does make him a killer. I’ll wait. I’ll hate it, but I’ll wait because he’s mine, and having him back is more perfect than anything I could’ve dreamed. Because I love him.

As I’m locked in place, seized by only his eyes, I pray my beautiful blink in time doesn’t turn ugly.

“Crew?” Asa calls for him when he doesn’t answer.

Asa’s voice breaks his gaze and he steps through my threshold, tossing his bag, and swinging the door shut. He drags his eyes over me before looking to his friend, his voice rough. “It went to shit. Grady fucked up, but I got him out. The job’s done. We’re home.”

My breath of relief came out as a whimper, drawing Crew’s eyes back to me. This time they’re heated, fiery, and burning. I feel it in my nipples, down my spine, and between my legs. Without looking away, I know he’s not talking to me when he says, “He’s not gonna want to see anyone tonight, or even for a few days. I’ll fill you in tomorrow—you can go.”

After a few beats, I hear a jingle of keys.

From my peripheral, I see Asa go to the door. “See you soon, Addy.”

I should thank him for staying with me. For saving my home and business from becoming an inferno. For keeping me safe, for caring about Crew all those years when he withdrew from life before he was mine, but most importantly, for making me realize I needed to make a choice for Crew’s sake.

But with Crew looking at me the way he is, I couldn’t utter a word. I guess I’ll have to tell him tomorrow.

When the door clicks, he says his first word to me. “Abby.”

My eyes instantly well, missing that, like a sweet gift every time he says it. “You came back.”

“Told you I would.”

“I know.” I swallow, trying to control myself. “Still, you’re okay and you’re back.”

Ignoring me, he barely narrows his eyes when he asks, “You wearin’ panties?”

I frown slightly. “Yes, why?”

His eyes change and don’t ask me how I can tell, but I see the transformation. The sharp is gone and he shifts into my man, the one he is only for me. Just like all the times in the past when he controls it, his voice comes at me soft and soothing, telling me what he wants. “Drop ‘em, baby, and come here.”

My thighs clench at his demand and his eyes follow my hands that immediately dip up and under my nightie. Hooking my thumbs into my panties, I drag them quickly down my hips. The second they hit my feet, I move, kicking them to the side.

When I close the short distance separating us, I put my hands to his chest, needing to touch him. One of his dives into my hair and the other yanks my nightie roughly above my waist, his hand palming my bare ass before giving me a squeeze when his lips land on mine.

He pulls me into his big frame, his tongue delving into my mouth. When I slide my hands up to his shoulders, we turn. Just when I was thinking he feels better than he ever has, he presses me into my front door.

He shows me how much he missed me with his lips, tongue, and hands. Pushing my nightie up higher, his hands roam my body and I try to pull at his shirt to feel his skin. His finger slides through my drenched core, making me jerk. Forgetting about his shirt, I zero in on his pants, knowing what I really want.

My hands go to the waist of his jeans and I fumble, trying to make quick work of his button and zipper. Finally, he rips the button open, and after efficiently working his zipper, frees himself.

When his beautiful cock springs free, I lick my lips. Putting both my hands on him, I start to rub and knead, feeling a bead of cum on his tip. I drag my thumb over it, massaging it into his silky skin. I need to show him how much I want him, how much I missed him, and I want him in my mouth.

I bend my knees to dip low, but he stops my progress. “Not now. I want to lose myself in you. Up.”

The next thing I know I’m being lifted, with my back to the front door, where he’s holding me tight. With his arm around me, his other dips and he rubs his tip through my wet pussy.

“Knees up, baby.”

When I pull my knees high, my bottom sinks at the same time he surges up, giving me all of him.

He buries his face in my hair and murmurs, “My Abby.”

“Crew,” I whimper, trying to move, but his arm around my back and hand on my ass keeps me where I am.

He presses into me deeply, and when I arch, I feel it in my clit.

Squeezing my thighs into his sides, he controls it, just like always. His lips dip to my ear and he fills my heart at the same time he moves slowly in and out of me. “Never once had a homecoming. Never had a home to come to. I thought I was traveling, seeing the world between jobs, but I wasn’t. I was wandering with nowhere to go.”

I move my hand into his hair, holding him close, pressing the side of my face into his. I try to shift to get more, but he barely picks up the pace.

“Never had to work so hard to focus. Ever. Thought of you every single second. I had to fight myself to stay centered for Grady and so I could come back to you.”

I tip my head to look him in the eyes and admit, “I was scared.”

He exhales, but he doesn’t respond. When the word “scared” passed my lips, it must have triggered something, because he really starts to move. Every time he thrusts, he hits my clit and I curve my body to feel it deep inside.

His breath becomes labored against my hair, his arm angled up my back to protect me from the hard door, but he didn’t need to. I don’t feel a thing besides the heat building in me. Letting go, I’m not sure he’s ever fucked me this hard. His thrusts prolong my orgasm and I’m still panting when he groans, pulling me down tight on his pulsating cock.

He holds me tight as we both come down from our high, giving me his weight, pressing me into the door. I’ve got Crew surrounding me with my nightie above my breasts. I’ve missed this so much, being utterly consumed by him.

When our breathing evens, he turns to kiss the side of my head and says with his lips there, “I never want you to be scared again.”

As much as I appreciate his sentiment, it really doesn’t matter. All I can think about is the choice Asa gently demanded I make and look to him. “I love you.”

His body stills, yet I feel his cock twitch inside me.

“What?” he breathes.

I give him a squeeze. “I was scared, but it doesn’t matter, because I love you. I don’t know what went on with Grady, but whatever you do, if you have to leave, if you decide to keep doing what you did, I’ll always be here for you to come home to.”

I watch his deep, dark eyes slowly disappear as his lids fall. I didn’t know it was possible for him to pull me closer, but he does. When he doesn’t move, I wiggle my bottom, still impaled on him and call, “Crew?”

He pulls his head back far enough to look into my eyes. “It went south at the last minute, Grady got antsy and moved too soon. I don’t want those details in your head, but it was as bad as it could get before it gets permanently bad. He’s done and he knows he’s done. Even if he was stupid enough to try and go back, there’s no way they’d let him. I mean it when I say I never want you to be scared again, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re not. There’s nowhere I want to be but here.”

My eyes not only well this time, but they immediately spill over. “You’re done?”

He leans in and kisses one of my tears away, whispering, “Done, baby.”

I’m so relieved, I don’t even know what to say, so I bury my face in his neck.

His hand comes to the back of my head and gently pulls. He’s blurry from my tears, but I can hear him clear as a bright, sunny day. “Love you, too, my Abby.”

And right now, this moment in time tangles deep inside me, weaving itself together with my past. And it shines so bright, I’m blinded.

*****

 

Crew –

“Farther, Abby.”

I’m on my knees, bent over her from behind. All I smell is her hair, a curly mess from going to bed with it wet from our shower last night.

Coming home to her after the longest weeks of my life was everything I never knew to imagine. I never allowed myself to even want it, let alone look for it.

Just like she always does, she gave to me in ways I never expected. Telling me she wanted me even if I planned to go back? Her giving me that was everything. She knows it all and accepts me, my choices, my life, and she did it for me.

I carried her to our bedroom after our time at the front door and we showered. It was the middle of the night and I hadn’t slept for over thirty-six hours. As much as I didn’t want to lose time with her, I crashed, but not before I told her she was taking the morning off.

I can’t remember the last time I slept in, but we did. When she rolled into me this morning, burying herself so close she would’ve crawled under my skin if she could’ve, I couldn’t wait another second. I needed her again.

I’ll always need her.

She did as I asked and spread her legs farther, and I put my knees between hers to keep her where she is. I’ve been playing with her for a good while, so when I run my fingers between her legs, she’s drenched and jerks when I circle her clit with barely a touch.

Leaning with my forearm on the bed, I’m close to her face where she’s cheek to the mattress, on her knees with her ass in the air. Her eyes flutter open when I kiss her.

“You want something new?” I ask against her lips.

At the same time, I drag my finger through her wetness and up, circling her other hole so she’ll know what I’m talking about. I know she gets my meaning, her eyes go big at the same time her body tenses, trying to bring her legs together.

“What do you mean—” she starts, but I interrupt.

“Shhh.” I hush her gently, but put a firm hand on her ass to keep her where she is. I’m surrounding her from above, not that I’d have a problem keeping her where I wanted, even though I never would. “Don’t worry, I don’t want you to take me. Just my finger.”

“Your finger?” she exclaims loudly, surprised, and not in a good way.

“My little finger,” I clarify.

I don’t know what I expected, she’s no prude by any means, but this must be new for her. I like that even more.

“But, why?” Her voice turns breathy.

I tell her the truth as I start to play with her again. “Because I want all of you. Every inch, Addison. Never knew I could want you more than I did before I left, but every day I was gone, I wanted you more. Now that I’m back and we’re where we are, I thought we’d try something new, but it’s for you, too. I think you’ll like it.”

“I don’t think I’ll like it,” she shoots back right away. “Plus, I have no idea how big your pinkie is, I’ve never paid attention to your pinkie by itself.”

I shake my head. “I haven’t called it my pinkie since probably the second grade. You’re not making me feel much like a man calling my little finger a pinkie. Especially with what I want to do with it.”

She rolls her eyes before throwing me a bone. “What if I don’t like it?”

I spread my knees, in turn, spreading her farther. I do this to make a point. “You ever feel unsafe with me?”

“No,” she spouts, giving me a good glare.

“Have I ever given you anything you didn’t like?”

She sighs, looking like she might give in. “Of course not.”

“We’ve never talked about this, but you don’t like something, you say the word. Any word. I know your body, Addison. I have a feeling if you don’t like something, I’ll know it in an instant.”

“Seriously,” she groans. “I can’t believe you want to do this…that…whatever you want to call it.”

“With you, my sweet Abby,” I start as I glide my hand up the small of her back and press down. Her ass tips the way I want it and when I look back into her eyes, I tell her the truth. “I want it all.”

 

*****

 

Addy –           

What is it with men and their fascination with anal play?

I’ve never had any experience with it and certainly none of my past lovers ever asked if they could hang around back there. Then again, I’ve never had a lover like Crew.

Crew’s never let me down, never given me anything I didn’t like, and I know he’d never hurt me. Plus, he did ask instead of just doing it. I guess that was nice. I shouldn’t speak for the masses, but I wouldn’t think anal-anything would be mainstream-cable-television, under-the-covers normal bedroom activity. This is new and different for me.

I mean, I’m already lying here, my ass in the air with my face to the bed, spread for him to do as he pleases. And he always pleases me. Always.

My words come out in a rush, because really, this takes it to a new level. For some reason, I think it could be embarrassing.

“Okay, I’ll try it. But only because we showered before bed. And you have to promise to stop if I don’t like it. Or if it’s embarrassing. I still can’t believe you want to do this. And by the way, tell me what the fascination is with it? I’ve never been asked to do it before—I don’t get it. And I don’t see how it’s even going to feel good—”

He puts a stop to my words with his lips to try and quiet me for the second time since we woke up. “You’re rambling. I thought you didn’t like to ramble.”

I widen my eyes. “I think I should get a pass on the rambling since you want to play around back there. Seems like a fair tradeoff to me.”

His grin shrinks before completely fading and I lose his dimple. This time he kisses me soft. “Missed you.”

His fingers return between my legs and move just enough to make me wiggle. He does it again, drags a finger through my wetness and up. Even though it isn’t a surprise this time, I instinctively clench my ass cheeks around his finger.

“Wait.” I try and stop what he’s doing. “Let me see your pinkie. You’re a big guy, your pinkie could be huge.”

“No.” He flat out turns me down and tells me to, “Relax,” before moving away from my face to kneel in back of me.

“What are you doing?” I mumble into the pillow, because this is too much.

Ignoring me, he settles back on his haunches, gently massaging the globes of my ass and backs of my thighs. I can’t deny it—it feels good.

“I’m okay with almost anything,” I say into my pillow. “But you’re massaging my ass. This is embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” His voice dips and his touch has moved from massaging to sensual in no time.

A finger dips inside my pussy, and it does feel a little smaller than it usually does. Maybe it’s the pinkie. I squeeze my eyes shut, wondering what he’s going to do next, when I feel it. His finger, wet and gentle, circling my hole that’s never gotten attention before.

He presses in slightly, and I tense.

“Please, baby,” he says softly. “Relax.”

He pushes again, this time breaking through, and stills.

Holy shit—figuratively and not—he’s butt plugged me with his pinkie.

It’s definitely weird, but I don’t hate it. This surprises me.

He lightly runs his fingers over the skin of my back, ass, and thighs. “My Abby.”

I can’t say I’m completely tranquil, but I do relax further into his touch.

“There you go,” he says and his other hand starts to play between my legs where I’m used to him being.

His fingers, they’re barely giving me anything when he starts to move his pinkie. It’s weird, foreign, and I’m not sure what I think about it. Every few strokes with his pinkie, he swipes my clit, making me warm and wanton.

“Crew,” I complain, fisting the sheets below me. When I push my hips back to find his touch on my clit where I’m burning for it, his pinkie slides in deeper, and I groan.

“There you go.” His voice is soft as he slides two fingers inside my pussy, but his next words shock me. “I want you to fuck yourself on my hand.”

“No,” I breathe. He’s teased me enough—I know I’d do it without question if it weren’t for the pinkie.

“Yes.” His response comes instantly as he starts to finger fuck me and tickles my clit, letting me know where his finger is but giving me nothing. All the while, his pinkie moves minutely and I swear it’s deeper than it was.

Everything—it’s all so overwhelming. I might like it, but I’m not sure if I really want it. Should I want it? I’m full everywhere, it’s new and strange and I can’t believe myself, but the more he teases me, the more I want it.

“Move, Abby.”

Damn, his voice is always so soft when he’s this way with me. Like a caress I can’t move away from or say no to. There’s so many facets to him, I love them all, but I’ve become addicted to this one. I can honestly say, I’ve never imagined myself in this position before, my ass plugged with his pinkie and wanting his touch so badly, I’m willing to fuck myself on his hand, making that pinkie do who knows what to me. All the while, he’s got a front and center seat for the show. And during the day, too.

Oh, why couldn’t he have done this at night?

He tickles my clit one more time. “Move for me.”

That tickle. I want more.

Fuck it. Or should I say, fuck me.

I move a little and there he is, rewarding my clit at the same time it forces his pinkie to move inside me.

Holy fuck.

He’s right. It does feel good. Really good. Who would’ve thought?

I’m beyond being embarrassed, worried about his front row seat or where he’s got his pinkie. I’m simply beyond everything besides wanting it.

So I do exactly what he wants and move. I fuck myself on his hand, and I love it.

Like every time with Crew, he consumes me. This time I feel it everywhere, and he does it while giving me something new in the process.

Controlling it, he gave me what he wanted, when he wanted, and made me work for it. When I came, I came hard. I’m not sure when it happened during my orgasm, but I lost his hands and he had to prop my knees back up, but I got his cock. Even though I still feel where he’s been—pinkie and all—this is so good, I keep moving.

“Fucking beautiful,” he growls from behind me where his hands firmly hold my hips.

I might’ve been fucking myself before, but now it’s all Crew. He’s not slowly working up to anything this time, he’s moving fast and hard. Nothing’s ever been so perfect.

When he finally comes, pressing into me the way he does, I hear his familiar sounds I’ve missed so much. But I’m spent. I let my knees slide out from under me and he comes with me, staying buried deep. He doesn’t give me all of his weight but I do feel his warm body blanket mine.

He breathes into the top of my head where his voice is laced with a promise. “Never leaving you again.”

I turn my head as far as I can to see him. “Thank you.”

He kisses my temple. “For what, baby?”

“For coming back to me. For protecting me in ways I don’t even know about. For being everything I need, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for introducing me to your pinkie. Basically, for everything.”

He ignores most of my list and a slow, scruffy smiles spreads over his beautiful, dark features. “You liked my little finger.”

I try not to look sheepish and hide my own smile. “I didn’t hate it.”

He presses his still hard cock into me and grins. “You liked it. I told you so.”

I can’t help but glare. “Fine. You know everything. You have amazing sexual powers.”

“Amazing?”

“If you question it, you’ll prove you’re merely average instead of amazing. That’ll make me question the next kinky thing you want to do to me, Crew.”

He kisses me, almost playfully. “Then I’m amazing. Your all-knowing, all-powerful sex machine who now knows I can get kinky.”

I roll my eyes and ignore his kinky threats. “We need to get up. I’m hungry.”

He kisses me at the same time he slowly pulls out, but doesn’t move away. “I hate to leave you, but I need to check on Grady and catch up with the recruits. I’ll meet you back here for a late dinner?”

I sigh, happy and content for the first time since he left. He gets off me, but I call for him and he stops mid push-up. When he looks down at me questioningly, I raise my brows and widen my eyes, demanding, “You need to wash your hands. With lots of soap. Maybe even twice.”

He starts to do that silent laugh thing before he kisses me quick. I’m still lying in bed, relishing in his homecoming when I hear the sink turn on, and I smile.