Chapter Four
It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas
For someone who didn’t celebrate Christmas much, Hawk sure had a lot of lights. Nora and HL stood in the family room looking at all the strands they’d laid out on the floor.
“It seems like a lot of lights for this single story house.” Although, Nora had never decorated with lights, so she had no idea how many were necessary. But it looked like they could light up the whole block with them all.
HL stood next to her, taking in all the lights with a smile on his face. “We moved into this house three years ago. Our old house was bigger and my bedroom was upstairs.”
A two story house instead of the single story ranch. Nora nodded. “That explains it.”
“Let’s go, Nora! Let’s put them up!” HL jumped up and down like he had springs on his feet.
“Whoa, there, Mr. Excitement. We need to follow a game plan. First we need to test each strand to see how many actually work and then come up with a design.”
Heather stood in the large opening between the family room and the kitchen observing quietly.
“And we’ll need music to get us pumped up.” Nora had plenty of playlists she used before a match but much of it was rock or rap, some of it not appropriate for young kids. “Should we make a Christmas playlist first?”
“I have one you can listen to, I mean, if you like pop music,” Heather offered in a tentative voice.
HL rolled his eyes and groaned. “Blah. Taylor Swift.”
“Hey, now, little music critic. I happen to love me some T-Swift.” She wrapped an arm lightly around HL’s head and gave him a noogie, making him laugh. “What your brother means, Heather, is that would be awesome.”
So Nora and HL got to work while they boogied to Mariah Carey, Pentatonix, Bublé, and Bieber while Heather sat on the couch reading but casting them furtive glances. Nora guessed it was probably 35 percent shy kid mixed with 65 percent of “I don’t know who the heck you are, but you aren’t my mom” reaction. Nora knew that feeling like an uncomfortable, too-tight, old sweater. Her single mom had had too many men revolving through Nora’s young life. She knew how stressful it was and left Heather as much space as she needed and wanted.
“Looks like they’re all multi-colored, HL.” Nora’s gaze roamed around the floor after thirty minutes of organizing and testing. “What do you say we go around each window, across the porch railing, and along the bottom edge of the roof?”
“It’ll look like a gingerbread house!” The excitement on his face disappeared. “How are we going to reach that high?”
“I saw a ladder in your garage.”
HL scratched his head. “Yeah, but it’s still pretty high up.”
“You may not have noticed, but I’m pretty tall.” She winked at HL as she felt Heather’s rapt attention turn her way. “Which means I’m pretty good at volleyball and putting up lights.”
“You are?” HL looked unconvinced.
“Not to brag, but absolutely. You’ve got to play to your strengths.” She checked her phone for the outside temperature. “I don’t remember it being this cold in the winter when I used to live here.”
Heather peered up at her. “You used to live here?”
“I sure did. I actually knew your dad in high school.” She decided not to mention she’d dated their dad for almost all of eleventh grade. She’d leave it up to Hawk to mention—or not.
“Did you know our mom?” Heather asked. “She and Dad met when she moved here in the middle of their senior year of high school.”
“No. I moved to California at the end of our junior year. Your mom must have been special for your dad to fall in love with her.”
“She died when I was three. HL was only a baby.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. That totally sucks.”
“Daddy says we shouldn’t say ‘sucks.’” HL’s gaze darted over to his sister and back.
“Your dad is absolutely right.” Nora was on the verge of tears thinking about the two kids without a mother. About Hawk losing the woman he loved. About a mother not getting to see her children grow up. “Except sometimes it’s true. And losing someone you love sucks.”
HL’s eyes went big and he giggled, then slapped a hand over his mouth.
Heather’s deep brown eyes were serious, her forehead creased in a frown. “It does. It sucks not having our mom.”
Their eyes met and the pain Nora saw there tugged at her. She bit her lip, wondering if she should just stay the heck out of the situation, but Nora had never been one to stay observing from the sidelines. She usually jumped right into the deep-end of things.
“I grew up without a dad. Totally different situation from yours. My dad didn’t die. He just never wanted to be a dad so he left before I was born. And I know your dad and Aunt Georgie and probably lots of people who love you are there for you, but I used to worry about being strong for my mom.”
Heather blinked at her before staring down at her hands clenching her book.
“I held everything inside because I didn’t want to add to her burden. But they’d feel worse knowing you tried to deal with all the emotions all alone.” Her mom hadn’t, but normal parents would. “They want to hear it. They really do. Now, who’s ready to put up some lights?”
“Me!”
Nora and HL bundled up and spent the next two hours stringing lights along all the edges they could reach. Which, with the ladder and her six feet, was pretty much everything. They framed all the windows, wound them around the porch posts and along the railing, around the front door, and the garage, and even straight across the roofline by attaching them to the gutters.
They took a break for lunch when sadly, Nora burned both the soup and the grilled cheese sandwiches in a very un-mom like way.
HL just smiled and ate everything anyway. Heather nibbled the non-burnt parts and looked like she was taking notes on all Nora’s Rent-A-Mom failures. Hell, Nora knew when she’d accepted the job she wasn’t mom material, but she’d been desperate to get away from all the failure in her life.
The failure of her body when it didn’t bounce back from injury the way she needed. Which opened up the possible failure of her career and her dream of winning the gold medal in the Olympics. The failure of her faithless boyfriend. The failure of her closest friend. The failure of her mother to have her back.
Whoa, stop, Nora. Step out of your Nora box and look around. Because she’d agreed to be a temporary mom to the children in front of her. She might not know how to be a good mother, but she had common sense. Besides, she’d only be here through Christmas, so it wasn’t like she would scar Hawk’s kids for life, right? They were great kids though, and she really wanted to do better than “not scar them,” dammit. She could definitely aim higher than that; she’d just have to do more research each night after the kids went to bed.
Nora and HL braved the cold again for round two. They might have gotten a little carried away, but they were having fun. They told jokes, and stories, and sang songs until every working light strand was on the house or woven into a bush or wrapped around a tree. After putting the ladder back in the garage, Nora and HL stood in the middle of the yard admiring the bright twinkling lights as dusk settled in.
“It looks awesome, Nora!”
It was freezing out and her fingers and toes had gone numb an hour ago, but she stood next to HL looking at their work, and warmth bloomed in her chest. “It looks like Christmas.”
“But all we got is lights.” HL looked over at Brian’s house and his face fell. “We’re not going to win the competition with just lights.”
Looking at the huge display across the street, Nora had to agree. Her competitive spirit flared, and possibly the look in HL’s big brown eyes got to her too. “Pfft. Hey, we can buy an inflatable decoration off the internet. We’re not giving in yet, HL. We’re not quitters.”
“Yes!” His face went from dejected to triumphant in a heartbeat. “Can we get a Santa? Or maybe Rudolph? No, I know…Frosty. Oh! Maybe baby Jesus.”
“Wow. Well, I’m sure we’ll find something online.” Nora had one credit card left that wasn’t maxed out. The only one her mother hadn’t had access to. The smile she’d just seen on HL’s face would be worth every penny. “Come on, let’s go warm up with some hot chocolate while I find something to burn for dinner first.”
HL thought that was hilarious. Too bad it wasn’t a joke. Thankfully, she was saved by a frozen pizza. Almost. She let herself get distracted talking about decorations with HL and left the pizza in too long.
Heather’s raised eyebrows at the burned crusts made her feel inept. Dang it. She added “research YouTube cooking videos” to her list of things to do.
After dinner she and HL sat on the floor pouring over Christmas lawn decorations on her computer while Heather read on the couch behind them.
They found everything HL had mentioned, and way more. A lit up R2-D2 wearing a Santa hat? They had to get that. And when they couldn’t pick between Frosty and Rudolph, they got both. The simple nativity scene stopped them in their browsing tracks, and they looked at each other coming to instant agreement and clicked it into their shopping cart.
“Oh, wow, look at the time. Bedtime, HL. Let’s go. I’ll finish buying these after you’re in bed.”
Hawk called to tell his kids good night just as Nora was heading HL through his bedtime routine. Man, the guy was a devoted dad, that was for sure.
Heather chose to see herself to bed, but HL took her up on her offer to read a bedtime story. A novelty for Nora as her mother had never read to her.
“Okay, HL, you got two stories out of me. That’s it. You’re a charmer, just like your daddy.”
“What’s a charmer?”
“Oh, well… Someone who is so adorable they can talk people into getting their way.”
HL smiled. “You think my daddy’s charming?”
He sure was in high school. “I think you’re charming. Night, HL.”
After Nora cleaned up the kitchen, she turned off the Christmas lights, double-checked the locks on all the doors, and went back to the couch to finish up the shopping while ESPN played in the background. She may have gotten a bit carried away and added a few more decorations, but this wasn’t just for HL. This was for her too. Didn’t she deserve some Christmas magic just this once? She even sprang for overnight shipping so they’d have it tomorrow. The poor Ralph family wouldn’t even see the Savages coming.
* * * *
It was close to midnight when Hawk let himself into his quiet house. He didn’t like the days when he didn’t see his kids. For seven years it had been the three of them, a tightknit unit. There was pressure being the sole parent, pressure he accepted, but there were times when it was a lonely road. Usually times like this, late at night when the kids were sleeping and he felt so alone.
The sound of the TV from the family room reminded him he wasn’t alone, not tonight. He detoured from his path to the kitchen. And oh what a sight. Nora lay fast asleep, her long, long jean-clad legs taking up most of the couch and her golden California tan glowing under the side table lamp. She looked vibrant even in sleep.
He’d slept on the couch enough times to know it wasn’t the most comfortable place to spend the night. He clicked off the TV and nudged her lightly.
“The ball was out!” Her arm went flying and slammed against his thigh, which had her sitting straight up, eyes blinking in confusion. “Who won?”
“You fell asleep on the couch. I guess you eat and sleep volleyball, huh?” Hawk understood that. He may not be a professional athlete, but he’d had all-consuming work that invaded his dreams. “When I was in the army, I used to dream about my work all the time.”
“You were in the army? I had no idea. Dang, I lost touch with everyone when I moved.” She swung her feet down to the floor and stretched her arms and shoulders before standing up, leaving them only a few feet apart.
She still looked so much like the girl he’d fallen for back in high school, only different. Junior year, she’d been all height and lean muscle, emphasis on the lean. But it had been her personality that had attracted him. She’d had a confidence to her which he admired, especially because as the tallest girl in their grade, he’d watched her handle a lot of ribbing from other kids over the year they’d dated.
“You sure did.” After she moved, he’d waited for months to hear from her in a young love/nothing can separate us way. A phone call, an e-mail, a text, a letter. Hell, he’d been so head-over-heels he’d have accepted smoke signals or a carrier pigeon. He got silence. Her cell phone had been disconnected and there was no forwarding address or phone number to reach her.
Her lips turned down before shaking her head once. She started to speak but stopped, pausing at the edge of the awkward silence between them, as deep and uncharted as an underwater canyon, making navigating through it dangerous.
Hawk didn’t know where to start either, but he jumped in anyway. “How about I break the ice by apologizing right up front?”