Chapter Ten
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
I’d like you to myself. That sent liquid heat rushing to parts of Nora’s body.
“You know, I’m not actually hungry.” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, checking to see his reaction. “You?”
“Not for food.” The muscles in his jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. His gaze met hers and its intensity said he was more than fine with that. He might have even stepped on the gas a little harder.
The last few minutes of the drive took forever and not nearly long enough. Before she knew it, they were standing in the foyer back at Hawk’s place staring hungrily at each other.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said my first time with you is a very happy, special memory for me.” Nora’s heart fluttered and her fingers yearned to touch him, yet she hesitated. “I’m a little afraid of messing it up if this doesn’t go well.”
“I know what you mean.” He shook his head. “I’m a little worried myself. I mean, I’m going to try like hell not to rush this, but I haven’t had sex in, damn, I don’t even know how many months. And I haven’t made love to a woman in years. I’m not sure I can take this slow.”
“I think I’ve only truly made love once—to a boy I fell in love with when I was seventeen.”
“Nora Joy, you’re killing me.”
“I think you can take it.”
“I don’t know, Nora. Look at you. You turned into this goddess. A tall, strong Valkyrie. Watching you play, the way you move your body. The way you take command out on the court. You’re breathtaking. I’m not sure my heart can take all that—but I’m sure going to try.”
Her nerves stretched taut and her stomach twisted at the intense heat of his gaze. Because this man mattered. Once upon a time, he’d held a special place in her life…and in her heart. She understood the need to get this, well, as close to perfect as possible. Because even though he joked about his inept first time, it really had been beautiful. A rite of passage they’d chosen to share with each other.
“The kids and I moved into this house a few years ago.” He took both her hands and began backing her up down the hallway toward his room. “Sort of like a fresh start.”
“They mentioned it.” Her back hit softly up against his bedroom door.
“We bought all new bedroom furniture for each of us.” He paused with his hand on the doorknob beside her hip. “I’m not saying I’ve been celibate the last four years, but because of the kids, I’ve been very discrete. I’ve only brought a few women over to meet the kids, but not one has walked through this door.”
He was letting her know that there were no ghosts in his bed. How had he known that thought had been quietly poking her like a straight pin? Oh, this man was something special and if she wasn’t careful, she could easily fall for him all over again. Or maybe she’d never gotten over him. “So you’re saying I’ll be the first again.”
“That’s what I’m saying.” He turned the doorknob, opening the door and ushering them through.
“Thank you for that.” She cupped his jaw in her hands and leaned up the few inches to place a kiss against his lips. “Because I think I’m more nervous right now than I was fourteen years ago.”
He pulled back, a frown creasing his forehead as he searched her eyes. “Eleanor—”
Reaching out, she placed a finger over his lips. “You talked about how much I’ve changed—but you…
“You probably didn’t know it, but that year we were together you grounded my world. You and volleyball. My home life was, well, unpredictable. For the first time in my life, you gave me someone I could count on. Someone I could trust.” Was that why she wanted to throw her arms around Hawk and hang on tight? No. It was more than that. Deeper than that.
“Since I’ve been here, there have been moments when you throw your head back and laugh or you slide on this crooked half-smile and I see him—the boy I knew. He takes my breath away.”
“Between the war and…life, well, I’m not that boy anymore.” Hawk reached out, gripping her hips tightly. Pulling her back to the present.
“I know. I blink and he’s gone. And instead there you are—the man you’ve become—and I watch you and then I really can’t catch my breath.” She ran shaking fingers along his sharp jawline, the slight friction from his five-o-clock shadow sent warmth swirling low. “I mean, I actually forget to breathe until my chest aches.”
“Yeah, you’ve got parts of me aching too.” His strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in. His sheer size surrounded her, managing to make her feel delicate and petite, all six feet of her. Not an easy task. She tried to soak in each moment. Each touch between them. Each breath.
The feel of his wide muscled shoulders under her hands. The green streaks heating his hazel eyes like veins of gold in granite. The way he smelled of fresh air and warm cedar. Nora filled her senses with him in case this memory would have to last her another fourteen years. Because she didn’t know what the future held for her. All she knew was just because she was tempted to choose Hawk and his children, it didn’t mean that was best for them.
Maybe Hawk needed the same thing, because he took his time. His hands, warm and firm, stroked slowly down her back, and lower, pulling her tight up against him. His firm lips caressed hers with languid heat. His sureness and command overwhelmed her senses, causing her blood to shoot like sparks through her body.
And when he used his hands to stroke up along her neck, over her shoulders, and along her arms, he raised goose bumps on her skin with the electricity generated between them. She shuddered under his magic hands, and realized he had her so on edge she’d forgotten that two could play at this game.
She pulled her lips from his, stepping back while finding her breath, letting her gaze roam all over him until he quirked an eyebrow at her.
“Lose the shirt, Hawk.”
“Only if you los—”
“No. That’s not how this is going to work. First, you’re going to take off your shirt, and I get an uninterrupted ten minutes to touch every inch of your skin, every ripped plane, and every rock hard muscle. Emphasis on every. Then it’ll be your turn.”
He sucked in a breath between his clenched teeth, making a soft whistling sound. “You’re making me regret not tracking you down years ago.” Grabbing his shirt at the back of his neck, he pulled it up and off over his head.
And it was Nora’s turn to suck in a breath. She’d seen a lot of bare male chests over her many years on the beach volleyball circuit but none of them affected her like Hawk’s. Reaching out her hands, she pushed him gently, backing him up until he hit the bed and sat down. She sat, straddling his legs with her knees resting on the mattress on either side of his hips. Her eyes held his as she stroked her hands slowly from his sinewy forearms dusted lightly with hair, up to his rounded biceps, and along his wide shoulders, enjoying the feel of his corded muscles tensing under her fingertips. It was a powerfully sexy feeling, seeing him react to her touch.
“Your body is a work of art.” Leaning forward, she feathered kisses over his chest, slow, moist kisses, adding swipes of her tongue and a light bite or two with her teeth. She took her time blazing a trail, eventually meandering first up his neck before backtracking down across his chest again. She pushed him back flat on the mattress, his feet still on the floor as she worked her way down…down over the ridges in his abdomen until she reached the waistband of his jeans.
When her hands moved to the snap, he stopped her.
“I’m afraid your time is up.” His eyes looked more green than hazel, as his heavy lidded eyes glimmered with arousal. “Your shirt needs to come off. I’m happy to help.”
Oh, Nora didn’t need any help. She whipped her shirt off and tossed it off to the side leaving her in her athletic bra.
“The jeans have to go too. Right now.” His voice scraped out raw and sexy, his gaze fierce and demanding.
“Yes, sir, Officer Savage.” She stood and slid her jeans down and off her legs. She’d spent too many years at the beach and on volleyball courts in skimpy bikinis to be shy. Besides, as a tall girl, she’d had to learn to own it. Every tall inch and limb of herself. Plus there was no way she was going to waste a single second of the flash of desire flaring in his eyes and across his face.
“I have a confession.” Hawk swallowed, his gaze making the trip up and down her body, but taking a long detour over her legs. “I watched you in the Olympics two years ago, and I had highly inappropriate thoughts about you and your legs. Possibly downright dirty.”
She went lightheaded with his words because no man had ever made her feel what he did. Not now and not at seventeen.
“I have a confession too.” She pulled her bra off over her head and straddled his legs again, wearing only her panties. “I had inappropriate thoughts about you while you were sick with the flu. Absolutely dirty, naughty, filthy thoughts of you and me. And I aim to try every one tonight.”
“Damn, Nora.” Hawk growled as he grabbed her, rolling her onto her back and under him. “Merry Christmas to me.”
Nora’s brain shut off as Hawk worked his way down her body and through his list of highly inappropriate thoughts. All she could do was feel. And moan, and tremble, and quiver with pleasure. He took her so high her breath struggled again in the rarefied air. His hands stroked, his tongue dipped and swirled, and his mouth and lips teased and tasted with greedy, decadent appetite.
She gave Hawk the same reckless pleasure he gave her. After pushing him back against the mattress and wresting back control, she ran her hands over the contours of his muscled form. She rained kisses across his skin, mapping his body with her lips and tongue, every hard inch of him. It was his turn to pant and moan and shudder.
He grabbed protection and then her, rolling her under him, running open-mouthed kisses along her neck. His voice scraped out rough and gravelly against her skin, sharp with need. “Now, Nora. I need you now.”
“Yes.” She held his gaze with her own as they joined and the turbulent vortex of primal desire and heat suddenly stalled. Time stopped like a freeze-frame in an instant replay, their breaths suspended as the past and present collided.
Hawk’s eyes closed and his head fell forward, his body steely against her as the aching tension built. Then his chest expanded and she heard him haul in a lungful of air. When he opened his eyes, the passion in them hit her like a jolt. Molding his body even closer, he wrapped one hand around her jaw, lifted her face to his, and kissed her. A hot, wet, hungry kiss that reignited the tempest.
It was a wild ride of wanton pleasure and sensual satisfaction. A sharing of vulnerabilities and trust. It was everything Nora’s seventeen-year-old self could have dreamed of, and nothing like her thirty-one-year-old self had ever felt before.
“Wow.” She lay draped across his muscled chest recovering.
“Yeah?” Hawk ran a hand down her back and over her ass.
“Oh yeah. All the bells and whistles.” Throw in sparklers, fireworks, and dynamite too. It had been exquisite. Nora could only hope that having this new perfect memory tucked into her heart would make it easier when she sorted out her life and had to say goodbye to Hawk and his kids.