I am so fucking stupid. I hear Jake’s please for me to stop as I run away. Who was that girl standing next to him? Whos baby is that? I’m not even sure how to process what I just saw.

The funny thing is, I was going to the park to get some space from everybody at the shop. And…I was finally going to call Jake back. We needed to have an adult conversation about the situation that happened with his mother, without me stomping off like a two-year old.

I saw him come down the slide with the little girl. I stood there, in awe, and watched them for a few moments, butterflies erupting in my stomach. The scene before me, a small glimpse of what a future would look like with him. It may have been a little early to think that way, but it’s no secret that we have one of those rare connections.

I assumed the baby was a cousin or something, but as soon as I saw that girl walk up to him, I knew they were familiar. I could tell the two of them had shared a past.

Hot tears stream down my face, and my nose is runny. I finally slow down three blocks from the park and lean against one of the buildings.

I think back to all the time Jake and I have spent together All the times he texted or came to my place. And I wonder if it was all just an act. Just a way for him to get close to the naïve city girl set on chasing her dreams.

But, he took me to meet his friends, the people spends the most time with. Surely, he wouldn’t have done that if he was harboring a secret family, would he? But how can I know? I’ve never asked him what all he does. As far as I know, he talks to me or hangs out with his friends. Nothing else.

I bury my face in my hands to quiet my sobs as realization hits. Those few times he seemed sad or distant, and unsure. They had to have been because of her.

Maybe I’m blowing this whole thing out of proportion. There could be a completely valid reason for him to smile at her like she just made his day. Right now, I can’t think of any reason for that to happen. He smiled at her the same way I’ve seen him smile at me. With that same sort of affection in his eyes like I’m the person he can’t live without. That’s obviously not true if what I saw today is real.

I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel about Jake, now. Not sure if anything I felt was real, or if I was caught up in the moment of a possible summer fling with a hope that it could become more.

My phone rings in my purse, vibrating against the sides, but I make no move to answer it. I’m not ready to talk to him right now. Maybe never again. Instead, I walk the last few blocks back to the shop, trying to rein in my emotions.

I must do a shitty job, though. As soon as I open the door, Corey takes one look at my puffy red eyes and damp cheeks. “What did that little bastard do?”

Shockingly, it’s Bianca that rushes to my side before I can answer. She pulls me into her workroom, enveloping me in a hug. I’m not going to lie, this is pretty fucking weird. She is the last person I would expect to come to my defense. Things have been better between us since we had our showdown, but not so great that I would go to her to lean on when I’m upset. It only makes me wonder what all she has dealt with to single me out when I’m hurting and want to help.

“Are you okay?” she asks, gently patting my back.

“I don’t know,” I say. “Maybe?”

“What happened? I didn’t think you would be back already.”

“I just,” I hiccup. The after effects of the sobs that poured through me on my way back. “I just saw something I wasn’t expecting. I don’t really want to get into it right now.”

Bianca’s phone dings from where it sits on the table. Glancing over, I see that it’s Marshall. It could be a coincidence, but I have a gut feeling Jake put him up to texting to her to see if I was here. Bianca doesn’t grab up her phone the way she usually does to check her message. She chooses to comfort me, and I’m starting to see her in a whole new light.

Slowly extricating myself from her hold, I wipe the tears from my face with the bottom of my shirt. “I can’t be here right now.” I peer out of her door and see the small group of people waiting in the lobby for their tattoos.

“Can you take on some of my clients today?” I ask. She nods her agreement. “Whoever you can’t fit in, see if Sophia can schedule them for tomorrow.” I start toward the door adding, “And, let them know I’ll give them a discount for the inconvenience.

“I’ll ink as many as I can.” Bianca grabs my hand and gives it a small squeeze. “Go home and get some rest.”

I walk out of her workroom, and right out the front door. Not bothering to give Corey an explanation or tell anybody bye. I get in my beat up Toyota and sit there. A million thoughts running through my head, trying to figure out where I should go.

It’s only a matter of time before Jake shows up here at the shop, or at my door. There’s only one place he won’t know where to find me.

I put my car in drive and turn in the direction of the one person I know will always have my back. The person who will always want what is best for me.

* * *

“I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone,” my mother exclaims.

That’s right. I ran home to mommy. I’m not sorry, or ashamed, about it either. As much as she drives me crazy with the college stuff, she’s only looking out for me in the best way she can.

“I know. And, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“How long have you been dating?”

“Almost two months?” I’m not even sure. He started invading my thoughts before the first date.

“How in the world did you keep a boyfriend a secret from me for two whole months?” There’s hurt in her eyes, and I hate that I put it there. We’ve always been close. Mom is the first person I would run to when I was having guy problems.

“Well,” I start. “You’ve been on me about the whole college thing, and I didn’t have much of a chance to say anything about it. Plus, I’m not sure how things with Jake and I are going to end.”

“What do you mean?”

“Summer is almost over, Mom. He’ll have to go back to school where he plays football. Where does that leave me?” She begins to speak, but I cut her off. “And the whole reason I’m here right now is because today I saw him at the park with a baby and some other chick. I’m not sure I even want to see him again.”

The throw pillows lining the sofa fall to the floor as I scoot down to lay my head in Mom’s lap. She runs her fingers through my hair, soothing me the way she did when I was a small child. “Did you talk to him about it?”

I don’t answer, instead looking at the messages from Jake on my phone.

Jake: Charleigh, where are you?

Jake: Please, just let me explain. It’s not what it looked like.

Jake: I’ve been by the shop and your apartment. I’m starting to worry, and Bianca won’t tell Marshall anything.

Jake: Please just reply so I know you’re okay.

“Charleigh?” Mom questions.

“No, I didn’t talk to him. I ran off and then came here so he couldn’t find me.”

“Sweetie,” her hand stills. “You need to talk to him. I know it’s scary, but maybe there’s a good reason for what happened today. Besides, if this boy is someone you even think you can have a serious relationship with, which is the case by how upset you are, you need to learn how to talk through your problems.”

“I’m terrified, Mom.” I sigh. “What if he doesn’t feel as strongly about me as I do him? What if I’m not enough for him?”

“Your phone has been making all kinds of noises since you got here. I’m almost certain that you mean a lot to him.”

She taps my shoulder, waiting until I’m sitting up before she frames my face with her hands. “Let’s get you cleaned up, and then I want you to go home, call him, and talk it out.”

I nod. Though her tone is gentle, it’s not a suggestion. It’s time to put my big girl panties on and deal with what life throws at me.

* * *

The walk up the stairs to my apartment is somber. I’m freaking out on the inside, but mostly I’m just sad. I’m not sure what’s going to happen after I call him, but I hope my heart isn’t completely shattered in the end.

I stop in my tracks and can’t believe what’s right in front of me. Jake is slumped against my door, eyes closed as if he’s sleeping. He looks like hell. It’s only been roughly six hours since I ran from him, but I can tell he’s been in turmoil.

One step forward is all it takes for his eyes to open and his head to whip in my direction. “Charleigh.” My name is a whispered breath on his lips.

The tears welling up in my eyes can’t be helped. I’ve never had someone sit outside my door waiting for my arrival. “How long have you been here?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. A few hours?”

“Why didn’t you go home? I was just about to call you.”

He stands up, taking tentative steps toward me. “You weren’t answering my texts. I want to explain what happened and didn’t know when you would be home. So, I waited.” He reaches out a hand to me, hoping I’ll take it. When I don’t he adds, “Besides, this is a conversation I would rather have in person.”

I swallow past the lump in my throat. A part of me wants to turn around, march right down those stairs, get in my car and drive. But the other part, the part that is falling head over heels for him, wants to hear him out.

“Okay,” I reach past him, shove my key into the lock, and twist it until I can open the door. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Please,” he says. He doesn’t make a move to follow me. Doesn’t try to get close to me. He walks to the sofa and takes a seat on the far end. It’s weird seeing him in that area. When we came over before, he would sit in the middle until I decided where I wanted to be and adjust accordingly.

I hand the bottle of water to Jake before taking a seat opposite him, not wanting to sit close in case I don’t like whatever it is he has to say. “Whos baby were you with?”

“Wow, not even giving me a chance to open my mouth before you hit me with the hard questions.” He sets the bottle down without even taking a drink. “That’s Layla, my daughter.”

My mouth drops open. He has a fucking kid? How did that not come up in any of the conversations we’ve had? That seems like a pretty big thing to just skip over.

“I know it comes as a surprise to you.” His shoulders sag, utterly defeated. “I didn’t want to tell you in case we didn’t work out. She’s a big part of my life, and I was worried you wouldn’t be able to accept that.”

“I wasn’t even given the option to be okay with it.” I’m fuming. How dare he assume that I wouldn’t be accepting of him having a child. What kind of person does he think I am? “How could you think I wouldn’t accept that? She’s your child, Jake. I’m not some heartless bitch. I knew you were hiding something, I just didn’t know what it was. And while we’re on the subject, who was that girl?”

Now is the perfect time to lay it all out there. The second my question registers his back stiffens. My stomach drops, expecting the worst to come out of his mouth.

“She’s my ex-girlfriend, and Layla’s mother.”

“And y’all are just all chummy best buddies?” Jealousy is heard loud and clear in my voice. I can’t help it. I might be a tad bit territorial about those I care about. And I care about him deeply.

“Actually, I’m surprised she even lets me have a relationship with Layla. I was pretty shitty to her during the pregnancy.” He takes a long drink of water. “Hell, I couldn’t even go to the hospital because I was terrified of being a parent. Of turning out like my parents.”

“So why was she there while you were having your time with Layla?” I question. I don’t mean to sound petty. I really don’t, but I’ve never seen exes with a child get along with some sort of relationship.

“She’s always there when I see Layla. I’m not ready to take her on my own yet.” I open my mouth to throw in my two cents, but he stops me. “Her fiancé was also there. They were having their engagement photos done, and she came to see if I wanted the photographer to get some of me and Layla.”

I’m guessing the pictures with his daughter didn’t happen since he spent the rest of the afternoon worrying about and looking for me. Now I feel like an asshole.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions.” I move a bit closer to him. “But, it didn’t look good from where I was standing. Also, I’m not happy about the way everything went down with your mother. You could have stood up for me.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for that, too. I’ve never stood up to them in my life. I didn’t know how to react.”

“That’s not exactly an excuse.”

“True, but if it makes you feel any better I haven’t been home since. I got enough clothes to wear, but that’s it.”

“Where have you been staying?” Jake moving out of his parents’ house on my account is almost enough to make me swoon.

“Marshall’s. Where else would I stay? I’m not super close to Dylan, and Randall’s home life sucks.” Another drink of water. “Marshall is practically my brother. His family took me in, no questions asked.”

“That was nice of them.”

“I sense a but coming,” he says.

“But you still need to say something to them. You’re running away from your problems.”

“Have I ever introduced you to my kettle?” I shoot him a glare. “I’m just sayin’, it seems pretty similar to what you just did.”

“We’re not talking about me.”

“Anyway, I want you to meet Tonya, Reaf and Layla. I think it will ease your mind a bit where they are concerned. Tonya’s family is having a cookout and invited me and Marshall. Would you like to come?”

I roll my head back, leaning it on the back of the sofa. “I don’t know, Jake. I need to think about everything you’ve just told me.”

He nods, standing up. “I understand.” Leaning down he places a soft kiss on my cheek. “I’ll text you the address and time. You don’t have to let me know if you’re coming or not. I’ll be more than happy if you show up.” His shoulders sag just the tiniest fraction. “But if you don’t I’ll understand that, too. I want you to know I care about you…a lot. You’re my Reaf.”

He walks out of my apartment without another word. What the hell did that last statement mean He’s so weird sometimes.

The bigger question is do I go, or not?