Kenneth smiled at me, revealing a mouthful of broken, yellow teeth. My stomach was already rebelling at the stench, and the sight of his leer had me swallowing down the bile.

I reared back further into the pole I was chained to when he ran his dirty finger along my cheekbone. “Quite the pretty little thing, aren’t you?”

He hissed, then backhanded me when I spat in his face. I had expected it, so I made sure to keep my head straight and not give him the satisfaction of seeing it snap to the side with the force of his blow.

“Is it true, what they say?” he whispered in my ear, his rank breath making it harder and harder not to release the vomit I was already striving to keep a hold of.

“What do they say, Kenneth, that you’re a cunt? Because I can guarantee that’s the truth.”

He laughed. “Oh, I’m sure it’s you who has the cunt. In fact, a few of my men are a little eager to determine that fact.”

Adrenaline bombarded my heart, and I fought to keep my emotions in check when he grabbed the front of my vest and tore it open, baring my naked breasts to the cold. I couldn’t let him, or any of them, see the horror on my face when four men slowly walked into the room, the dirty grins on their faces telling me exactly what they had in store for me.

“You see, we’ve always wondered what it would be like to fuck a Weapon, to see if she’ll tear open and bleed like any average person. Or maybe you won’t even fight this. After all, aren’t you all trained to be cold-hearted, unfeeling cunts?”

“You’ll have a job,” I smirked. “Your small cocks won’t manage anything with my legs chained together like this.”

His laugh was cold, and the smugness in his expression made my stomach turn. “You really think I’m that stupid, girl?”

He reached out to one of his men, and my mouth dried when he passed him a syringe full of yellow liquid. I couldn’t even struggle to get out of the metal binds, because we were all taught never to show fear; it was instilled in all of us, instinctive after so much training.

So, I just stood and watched when Kenneth slid the needle into my vein.

“Best thing with this is,” he chuckled. “It paralyses you, yet your mind is entirely conscious. So, luckily, you’ll feel every delicious moment.” He tapped my cheek. “We wouldn’t want you missing out on anything, now, would we?”

When every fibre of me started to numb, I conceded, and allowed the fear and pain to engulf me…

 

The air seemed too dense, thick and stodgy in my throat as I tried in vain to draw breath into my lungs. Sweat dripped into my eyes, stinging them and making it difficult to see.

Scrambling for the lamp, I knocked the glass of water I’d taken to bed with me all over the alarm clock. It popped, then the illuminated display blinked out.

“Damn! Fuck!”

I scrambled around, trying my best to save everything else from the spilt water, including Amanda’s expensive rug, only to knock the lamp from its base and scatter shards of the stained-glass shade all over the floor.

“To say you’re shit hot with a sword, you're kind of clumsy with your hands.”

I groaned and slumped back against the bed, and looked up at Euan from where he stood in my doorway. “Kill me now. Well, actually, you needn’t, because Amanda will.”

He laughed and walked over, collecting my mess as he came. “Don’t worry about it, Amanda’s bark’s worse than her bite.”

“Seems like she bit you a few times.”

“There it is again,” he smirked, coming to sit on the floor beside me.

“What?”

He sighed. “Why don’t you give in to it, Elsie. We both know it will be explosive.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Explosives can maim. And giving in can be just as lethal.”

Gently, he shoulder-nudged me and gave me a soft smile. “Is that what happened? To your back,” he clarified. “You gave in?”

“Do you ever give in, Euan?”

“Yes,” he said quietly. “And it’s okay to give in sometimes, Elsie. Humans are born with emotions, you know. We all come into the world with skin and blood, eyes and bones. Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it isn’t there. And, vice versa, why hide something you can’t see?”

“Because allowing yourself to feel, you’re consenting to all the shit that comes with it. To all the pain it brings with it when there’s already so much pain and suffering from life. Why make more?”

“And pleasure?” he reasoned. “Happiness? A smile, or laughter, doesn’t kill you, Elsie. Detachment and loneliness do.”

“I’m not lonely!”

“Yes, Elsie. Yes, you really are.”

He grabbed hold of my chin and forced my gaze to his. “Tears release sadness. Laughter releases happiness. But, both need to be free for you to feel.”

“But, what if I don’t want to feel, Euan? What then?”

“You do know it’s impossible for a human being not to feel?” A deep frown accompanied his intense gaze.

“I don’t expect you to understand. You can’t if you’re not a Weapon. But, believe me, it is possible. It’s the initial part of our training. The scars, the ones you saw on my back, all Weapons have them. They’re part of our preparation.”

He looked horrified, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. “To me, they’re trophies, a record of my accomplishment. They made me a Weapon, Euan. Frank chooses us especially.”

“What?”

I sighed and rubbed at my tired eyes, the lingering fragments of my dream making my head throb. “We are all chosen for what Frank sees in us, and how life has treated us up until that point. All Weapons are selected for how they have coped with life, with pain, and how we all manage to school our emotions.”

“Disciplining your emotions doesn’t make you a strong person, Elsie,” he scoffed. “It binds you in cold-heartedness. That’s what Frank wants, not your ability to control your emotions, but his ability to control you through that.”

“Bullshit,” I argued. A part deep down inside me knew he was right. I’d always known it. Accepting it, however, was the beginning of the end. And I wasn’t ready for it to end yet. I had things to do. People to kill.

He sighed and shook his head, frustrated with me. “You need rest, Elsie. Tomorrow is a big day.”

I frowned, confused. “Why is tomorrow a big day?”

He shook his head, dismissing my question, and pushed himself up. “I meant it will be a hard one if you don’t get some sleep.”

I watched him walk away, telling my eyes not to lower to his arse.

Shame they didn’t listen.

 

***

 

“Elsie.” Frank greeted me when I stepped into section fourteen the next day. His smile was wide, the contrast of bright white teeth and chocolate skin always comforting to me. “I’m glad to see you came alone.”

I frowned, puzzled. “Of course, do you really think I’d bring a native to a Three Blade sector?”

He shrugged and gestured for me to sit. The secluded building, built in the countryside, away from any signs of life, was cold and I shivered as Frank threw more logs onto the fire.

“Is she here?” I couldn’t help but allow a little excitement into my voice.

Nevertheless, Frank grinned. “She is, I just need a word first.”

I nodded. “Yeah. What the hell is going on?”

He settled back into his seat. “First off. You know the score, Elsie. Don’t trust anyone.”

“I know.”

“I think you may need reminding about that. Intel tells me you and Sinclair have developed a relationship.”

“We haven’t…”

“You haven’t fucked, no,” he declared, making me rear back in surprise. “But you will. You both know it. You’ve grown close to a civilian…”

“A civilian?” I scoffed. “You gave me his contract! How can he be an innocent when you sanctioned his execution?”

“I authorised his execution because he was contracted to find you and Sally. That’s why. Your disloyalty offends me, Elsie. You are one of my best, fuck that, you are my best. And yet you still fail to trust me.”

For the first time, Frank showed me a fragment of the emotions he’d always managed to conceal.

My chest felt tight, and I rubbed at it. “But haven’t you taught us never to trust anyone, yet, here you are, arguing with your own tutelage.”

He smirked, the glint in his eyes sparkling and took my hand. “You never fail to make me proud, Elsie. But, I know, you’re now questioning some of my methods…”

“It’s not that,” I disagreed. “But, come on, even you would find it hard to grasp when you’re told that all your family is dead, and then suddenly you discover you have a sister.”

He closed his eyes and sighed, but nodded. “Ahh, but there’s always method in my madness, Elsie. I had hoped you’d have seen that.”

“I saw who Sally was right away, so I’m not doing that bad.”

He laughed and went to fetch us both a measure of whisky. “Now that’s out of the way, I think you may need this.”

I took the glass from him, my heart beating irrationally with the unknown. “Why?”

He pulled in a big breath and walked over to a side door.

I shot up with excitement when Sally walked through, grinning from ear to ear and sobbing.

I fell to the floor with disbelief when my mother walked in behind her.