The days start to quickly go by as Tom’s vacation is about to be up. We haven’t discussed what will happen when that moment arrives and he has to return to base. It keeps rolling in my mind, that all this time I have been seeing Tom Sullivan, the civilian, when in actuality he’s Lt. Colonel Tom Sullivan, United States Air Force pilot.

I don’t have any experience in military relationships. My father never served and neither did my brother. I see videos and movies about service men and women being gone for months, even years. Can my heart take that? Can I handle falling in love with him, only to see him go off for a length of time, worrying each moment of the day? Is he alive? Is he safe?

And what about Mason? The bond between the two keeps growing, and I don’t want to take that away, but how will Mason feel when one day he might have to say goodbye to Tom for a while? He’s already had almost four years without a father. Do I allow this to continue?

The Monday morning that I have been excited about, and sometimes have been dreading, has finally arrived—Mason’s first day of school. I spend extra time getting Mason ready for school, while he is acting like it’s any other day. I can’t seem to control my excitement that he has reached another milestone.

“Honey, please smile … just a few more pictures.”

“Sis, would you give the kid a break? How many more pictures do you need?”

“As many as I want. You just wait, baby Brother, until your baby has his or her first day of school.”

I finally stop taking photos and load us up and head to Clover Elementary. Mason has been quiet the entire time, making me worry if he’s ready for this. I go ahead and pull into the parking lot. Once I stop, I look back at him again. “Honey, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Mason says as he stares out the window.

“Well, we probably should get going. You don’t want to be late on your first day,” I say to him in my most cheerful voice, wishing he was more excited.

“Okay,” he says as he unbuckles his seat belt and grabs his backpack.

I take his hand and we start walking toward the school, when out of the blue, Tom comes jogging up behind us.

“Sorry, I’m late. The traffic is crazy.”

“I knew you would come,” Mason says as he takes Tom’s hand.

“Tom? What are you doing here?”

“I asked him to come, Mommy,” Mason says, looking up at me with the smile I was hoping to see earlier when I was taking pictures.

“You did?”

“Yeah, I hope it’s okay? I didn’t want to disappoint him,” Tom says.

“Sure, it’s fine. I’m just surprised, is all.”

The three of us walk hand in hand as we find Mason’s classroom. Mrs. Daniels, his kindergarten teacher, is in the doorway to welcome us.

“Mason, welcome to kindergarten, and who do you have with you?” she asks. I’m impressed by how she remembers his name from our first meeting on Friday, during the welcoming meeting at the school.

“This is my mom. You remember, she was with me when I was here the other day, and this is Colonel Tom. He wants to be my dad when he asks my mom to marry him.”

I look over at Tom, who is wide-eyed and shrugging his shoulders.

“I see. Why don’t you go find your desk, Mason?” She smiles.

Mason hesitates going and holds tightly to my hand.

“Hey, buddy, it’s going to be okay,” Tom says, bending down to whisper to him. “You will have tons of friends by the end of the day. You just wait and see.”

Mason nods, and before I can kiss him goodbye, he lets go of my hand and Tom’s and heads for his desk.

I’m hit with a tinge of jealousy that Tom was able to comfort him, where I failed miserably. I continue to watch Mason to see if he is going to be okay. He finally looks back at me, but only to wave and motion for me to leave.

“Come on, Mom, time to cut the strings,” Tom says as he takes my hand and leads me out. He walks me to my SUV while I continue to wipe away the tears. When he reaches my truck, he turns me into his arms, giving me a comforting embrace. “It’s okay, Mom. He will be just fine. Don’t cry now.”

“He’s my baby and he’s growing up too fast.” I start bawling in his arms.

“Yeah, funny thing about kids, they tend to do that,” he jokes.

“Stop it, Tom. It’s not funny.” I start to laugh through my tears.

“Then why are you laughing?” he teases.

“Because … and you.” I laugh and playfully hit his chest.

“Ouch! What?” He acts like I hurt him.

“I see you now have my son convinced that we are going to get married.”

“Liv, I know you won’t believe me, but I never said a word to him.”

I pause for a moment. He has never referred to me as Liv before. Only my family and Brent called me Liv. An enormous wave of guilt hits me out of nowhere. This day is special and it should be Brent and me seeing our son off to school. This moment was meant for Brent, not Tom. I reach to touch my left hand, only to find the empty spot where my wedding rings used to be only a few short weeks ago. The fact that they’re now on my right hand is not as comforting as before. My emotions are about to go out of control and I need to make a fast getaway.

“Olivia, are you all right? What’s wrong?” Tom’s tone changes as he voices his concern.

“Nothing. I need to get back to work so I will be able to pick him up later.”

“Oh, I ran into Amy, she said you guys were opening the library later this morning.. I thought maybe you and I could go out for breakfast or an early lunch.”

“Not today, Tom. I have a million things to do for the auction.” I reach inside my purse and fumble finding my keys.

“You sure you’re all right? I can drive you there, and if you need me to, I can even pick Mason up today.”

“No, you can’t. I haven’t added you to the school pickup list.”

“Okay. Let me just drive you to the library. You’re worrying me right now.”

“No, I’m okay. Really, I’m fine. I’ll call you later,” I say quickly, getting in my SUV and starting it up. I wave to Tom as I back up, leaving him standing in the parking lot, wondering what he did wrong. The fact is, he did nothing wrong, nothing wrong at all. It was perfectly right. That’s what I’m having a problem dealing with.

As I cry all the way to the library, I realize I can’t be there today. I regain my composure long enough to call Amy and let her know I won’t be in today.

I go back home to be alone in my thoughts. Luckily, Holly is visiting her mom and Mike’s at work, so they don’t see me crying. I go to my bedroom, getting out the box of pictures I couldn’t put in storage … pictures of Brent and me through the years.

I loved him so much. I was madly in love with him. I was a basket case when they’d told me he’d died. My family was ready to pack me up and take me back to Clover then, but one morning, I got up. I was numb, but I was in control. I had to move on and show them that I was perfectly capable of taking care of, not only Mason, but myself, as well.

So that’s what I did. I gave him a beautiful funeral service, I got my financial affairs in order, and I went through the motions from that day on. My family had no choice but to go back home, since I proved that I was strong enough to be alone. But at the time, I really never felt alone. I would touch my rings, and it was like Brent was there, cheering me on. I imagined him there when Mason said his first word, which was dada. When he took his first step, Brent was there. The birthdays, Christmases, all the important milestones, he was there. As long as Brent was in my heart, he was there.

Today is the first time he isn’t there. He’s left my heart and someone else has stepped into it. I will always love Brent, but the love I feel is different now. I’m no longer in love with him, I’m in love with Tom. Brent is my past and Tom is my future.

I sit on the bed, staring at my right hand. It’s time now. I slowly slide the rings off my finger and walk over to my dresser, where my jewelry box is. I give the rings a kiss before placing them in the box. One last kiss to my first love.

I wash and fix my face. I hate the way I left Tom this morning. I want to call him, but I want to see him in person. I need to see him. I get back in my SUV and head to the airport. I pray he is there. There are so many things I need to say.

I pull up to the hangar and rush out. Please let him be here. “Tom,” I call out, hoping I don’t startle him again.

“He’s not here, Ms. Olivia.” I turn when I hear Red coming up behind me.

“Where is he, Red? I need to talk to him.”

“He said something about needing to run errands. You might catch him at his trailer near his folks’ home. That’s all I know.”

“Thanks, Red.”

I drive out that way and look to the right as I’m passing the Braxton home. Nora still hasn’t called me to let me know if the owners have accepted my offer. It’s not that important right now. I need to find Tom. My heart is overjoyed when I see his motorcycle at the trailer.

Before I even shut off the engine, Tom steps onto the porch. His expression is exactly the same as when I left him several hours ago. I quickly get out and run toward him.

“Olivia.” He races down the steps to catch me as I run into his arms and hold on for dear life.

“Oh, Tom.” I start crying as he holds me tightly.

“Sweetie, are you all right? Talk to me, please. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“Just hold me a minute. Please just hold me.” I continue to cry and before I know it, he has me quickly in his arms, carrying me inside.

Once inside, he sits with me in his arms, holding me tightly, and occasionally kissing the top of my head as I continue to cry. I don’t know how long we sit there, before I slowly start to settle down. Once I have control again, I sit up to look at him as he smiles and hands me a box of tissues.

“How convenient.” I laugh as I take a tissue and blow my nose.

“Never know when a beautiful woman will drive up in your yard and run into your arms, crying. I like to be sure I’m prepared.”

“I must look like a hot mess.”

“Yeah, but you’re a beautiful hot mess, so it’s okay.”

I take another tissue and wipe my eyes as he sets the box down on the side table.

“It’s funny that you drove up when you did. I was about to come and find you.”

“You were?”

“Yeah, I didn’t like how you left this morning. What happened?”

“I didn’t really know at first. I was perfectly fine this morning getting Mason ready for his first day of school. Then all of a sudden, I felt so damn guilty.”

“Because of Brent?” he asks.

“Yeah. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t explain to you at the time how I was feeling. I still don’t know if I can explain.”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, unless you want to. I’m not trying to pressure you or rush you. I hope you know that.” He hugs me to him as I rest my head on his chest.

“I know you’re not. You’ve been wonderful. I guess that’s why I felt so guilty.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I felt guilty because I realized I was no longer in love with Brent.” I sit up and look at him. “I realized that I’m falling in love with you.”

“Wow,” he says, taking a deep breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing serious. I just think my heart skipped a beat there,” he says as he runs his fingers over my hands, finding them both now empty of any evidence of Brent and me.

“What are you thinking?” I ask him as he sits quietly, still holding me close.

“What am I thinking?” He looks up at me, pushing a stray strand of hair away from my face. “I’m thinking how I would very much like to kiss you right now.”

“Right now?” I laugh as I wipe my eyes again. “My face is blotchy, my eyes are swollen and red, and my nose is running, and now you want to kiss me?”

“More than ever.” He slowly leans in, leaning me back as his lips start to softly touch mine. I wrap my arms around his neck as we start kissing slowly, both of us being cautious at first, before relaxing and giving in to the desire we both share for one another. Another step, as Tom would say. To me, it feels more like a giant leap.

It is Saturday morning, and another day I have been dreading ever since I stupidly agreed to do this, has finally arrived. I make sure Holly knows my wishes and where my insurance policies are before I show up with Mason, Mike, Holly, and my parents in tow. Everyone wants to see if I will actually go through with it.

“Good morning,” Tom greets us as we walk into the hangar. He is looking very sexy in his jeans and black T-shirt. I walk up to him, wanting him to kiss me, but with our audience, I’m happy he shows restraint and gives me a hug, instead. Our kissing has only been in private, when we find a few moments alone. Needless to say, we haven’t been kissing as much as I would like.

“Morning. I’m not so sure it’s a good one, yet.”

“Aw, it’s a great morning. I see you brought the whole gang.”

“Tom, this is my mom and dad, Janice and Daniel Tanner. Guys, this is my friend Tom.”

“Nice to meet you folks,” Tom says as he reaches out to shake my dad’s hand.

“Yeah, we’re taking bets on when she is going to chicken out.” Mike laughs.

“She’s not going to chicken out. Are you?” Tom asks, taking my hand and squeezing it.

“Don’t be too sure on that.”

“Would you like some coffee? I have donuts.”

“Would you like me to throw up on you at ten thousand feet?”

“Okay, we’ll go to breakfast after the jump, then.” He laughs.

“If we live through this,” I mumble.

“I’m very happy you agreed to jump with me. Today is a special day.”

“What’s so special about it?”

“Today will mark my thousandth jump.”

“Wow, you have actually done this a thousand times?”

“No, nine hundred and ninety-nine times.” He laughs. “And look, I’m still here.”

Still holding my hand, he pulls me closer, and I’m thinking that at any moment he is going to kiss me. I’m not sure if I’m ready to have everyone see our affection for each other, but since Mason already thinks we are getting married, what the hell. I would marry him this instance, if he would change his mind about jumping today.

“I suspect you haven’t told them about us yet?”

“No, I’ve been so busy. Can we forget about the jump and just go out to breakfast?” I chime. “We can tell them together.”

“Not a chance. You’re jumping with me today.”

“Damn it.” I pout.

“Thank you for celebrating with me today,” he whispers as his expression becomes more serious and our faces inch closer.

“Hey, there he is,” a man’s voice echoes in the room, breaking our moment.

“Hey, guys.” Tom continues to hold my hand as we walk over to a group of guys that just came in, all of them carrying parachutes.

“Guys, this is Olivia. She will be jumping with us today. Olivia, this is Jason, Theo, and Matt, friends of mine.”

“Nice to meet you, Olivia.” Each of them introduces themselves personally to me again.

Tom releases my hand and puts a protective arm around my waist, pulling me closely beside him. It’s the first time I note a little jealousy in him. I have to admit, it feels kind of nice.

“I have coffee and donuts in the back, guys. Help yourselves,” he says.

“Thanks, man,” they say as they head to the break room.

“Can I have one, too?” Mason comes running up.

“Just one,” I remind him as he follows the other guys.

Mike, Holly, and my parents watch as Tom gets me set up with a harness. His hands are coming very close to areas that no man has touched since my husband. I try not to be embarrassed as I know he has to do this to make sure I’m secured, but this feels like teasing and I’m at my peak of sexual frustration.

“I’m sorry about that, but I had to make sure it was on good. I wouldn’t want you slipping away.”

“Oh, no, you make sure it’s good.”

“Don’t you worry, sweetheart, today you will be literally stuck to me.”

“Mommy, have fun. I’ll be watching you.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” I give him an extra hug and kiss as I’m terrified that I won’t see him again.

“Not too late, Sis, to back out,” Mike starts teasing me again.

“Get ready to pay up, baby Brother,” I tell him, finding my courage once more.

We head to the plane and I realize this is no joke and it’s about to get real. Everyone is smiling and laughing, except me. I’m terrified.

I hold tightly to Tom’s hand as he leads me to the plane, only releasing it to climb in. Everyone packs in and Tom motions for me to sit on his lap. I wasn’t expecting this part. He starts fastening my harness to his, making sure it’s tight and secure.

“I have you now, Olivia. No escape,” he whispers in my ear, heating my desire for him even more.

Before I know it, the plane is taking off. Tom helps ease my worry by holding my hand. He keeps showing me the elevation that he monitors on a gadget on his wrist that looks like some kind of watch. I watch as it continues to climb … three thousand feet, four thousand feet … until we finally reach ten thousand feet.

Theo opens the doors and slowly everyone scoots to the entrance. One by one, I watch as they fall out of the plane, until finally, it’s just Tom and me and he starts moving us to the opening.

“Are you ready?” Tom yells as I stare at the ground below me.

“No!”

“Liv?”

“Oh, God! Yes!” I quickly shut my eyes.

“Here we go!”

I scream bloody murder as we fall out of the plane.

We free fall and I finally open my eyes and see the ground below me. I imagine myself as a bird soaring in the sky. If Tom is talking to me, I am not hearing a word as the wind is rushing past us. I begin to relax, my fear being replaced by how I feel like I’m flying.

Tom takes my hands, holding them out as we continue to fall, and fear once again hits me as I realize no chute is opening. Before that thought leaves my head, I feel a quick jerk and we slow down as the chute thankfully opens. The wind is no longer rushing in my ears, and I can finally hear Tom’s voice. “Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“What do you think?”

“It’s incredible.”

“How long was it before you opened your eyes?”

“A few seconds ago.”

“You want to control it?”

“No, you’re doing just fine. No stunts, just get us safely down.”

I can see the airport; everything starts getting bigger as we get closer to the ground. I see my family waving and Mason jumping up and down as I remember to lift my legs when Tom safely touches the ground. Tom quickly releases my harness, turning me around to face him. He reaches out to touch my face, bringing it close to his. Before I can say a word, his lips cover mine. We stand there holding each other as we share a passionate kiss. I practically melt in his arms as he holds me securely to him. When we finally stop, I stand in a daze, staring into Tom’s eyes. I hear cheering just before I feel Mason hugging us both.

“I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” Tom laughs.