Chapter Nine
I love her. That's why she has to leave. Andre focused on the cars ahead of him. He hated driving in the city. Everybody was in such a rush. Cars crowded together like girls gossiping on the playground, an accident waiting to happen.
Lower elevations and Chinook winds had melted the snow out here a long time ago. On some trees, the first hints of buds were starting to green. Otherwise, it was all gray and brown, concrete and mud. Even the air smelled dirty.
Andre glanced at Mary. Her face was turned to the window, but he could see her pain reflected in the glass. They couldn't get a plane ticket to leave on such short notice, so now he was driving to the Greyhound bus station. She would be away soon enough.
"Do you know where you're going to go?" He couldn't keep dwelling on his thoughts in silence.
"East. I did all the research before I bought my plane ticket. I'm going to stay at a YWCA until I can get find myself a job and start living life as a human." She shivered. "I didn't think I'd miss being able to embrace my Wolf, but now that I've had four months with her… I'm going to miss running free. I'll have to be satisfied with the full moon."
If she stayed, he couldn't keep the truth of what her father did a secret. He couldn't bear to think of how utterly betrayed she would feel. His hands tightened on the wheel, bolstering his resolve by imagining her face when he declared that he planned to kill her father and her brothers.
Is revenge worth losing her?
Even if he did turn away from his vengeful path, where would they go? What would they do? The Wolves knew where he lived now. Could he just load up his animals and leave? Turn his back on everything that had been giving him purpose? He was so close… He had only put off his plans to hunt down and kill Locke and his sons during the full moon when they were drunk with moonlight and unable to take human form, because Mary was with him.
"Are you going to be okay? You don't know anything about the human world."
"That's not true. I shopped in town, and they were humans. None of them knew about our Wolves. I even courted a human." Mary straightened then. She turned her face so she was looking ahead and took a deep breath. "And what I don't know, I'll learn. I'm smart. I'm brave. I'm strong."
She sounded like she was trying to convince herself, but Andre believed her. His shoulders relaxed. It was only by chance that she had come into his life. Or, more accurately, he had only come into her life by chance. She had already been on her way to freedom when he stepped into her path and delayed her.
"You are going to be okay," he said, offering a small smile. "You're going to be okay."
***
When Andre stopped at the bus station, Mary froze. She couldn't do this. What was she doing? Andre was right, she didn't know anything about the human world! She didn't have an education. She didn't have any money except for what was in the Ziploc bag. She didn't even know what kind of work she could get!
Nonsense, she told herself. I am a hard worker who can do anything that needs to be done around a house. They'll be lucky to have me.
As she opened the door, Andre reached out and caught her hand. Her heart lifted, a flood of emotions coursing through her as the hope made itself manifest; that he would ask her to stay, or that he would go with her, that he would say the three words that had been on her lips for months now.
"Here," he pressed a credit card into her hand. "The PIN is 3830. Use it whenever you need to."
She nodded silently, not trusting her voice. Let me stay. But she couldn't if he didn't want her to. And he had told her that he couldn't give her his life. What else was she expecting? His wife and daughter brutally murdered. His grief was too much for him to commit to anybody else, that much was obvious. Besides, he didn't believe in soulmates. Even if she told him that he was hers, he just wouldn't believe it.
Her own soul felt like it was splitting down the middle, but she slipped out of the truck and closed the door firmly behind herself. I will not cry.
Not until she was safely out of sight, at least.
***
Andre watched her go. He waited for her to turn around, to run back, but her head was held high as she walked away. He had expected that she would come back. He had braced himself for the possibility, practiced making her leave.
What he didn't expect was the soul-numbing pain of watching her walk away and not have her turn back, not even once. A swell of panic beat hard against his chest. She was walking away, and he would never see her again. Never hear her voice. Never taste her lips. He had been so busy worrying about revenge and letting her go that he never took the time to stop and memorize her. What did she smell like? How did her brows pinch together when she was concentrating?
I can't.
He lurched from the truck, heart in his throat. "Mary!"
She was at the doors but at his shout turned. Andre dashed across the pavement, running as hard as he could. He couldn't let her go. It was selfish and stupid, but he couldn't let her go!
"Mary!"
She hadn't moved by the time he got to her. Her breaths were short, rapid, a wide-eyed look on her face that told him she wasn't letting herself hope. He reached for her but suddenly felt shy and let his arms drop.
"Mary," he said yet again.
She didn't speak.
"I don't want you to go." Saying it out loud was like the sun breaking through a cloudy day. He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in tight. "I don't want you to go. I love you!"
Her fingers tangled in his hair and then she was kissing him. It was all the answer he needed. All the answer he wanted. "I love you," he moaned between kisses, wanting every inch of her to know how much he loved her, wanted her. "I love you. I love you!"
Mary laughed. "I love you, too."
***
"We're going east together," Mary grinned as she said it.
Happiness bubbled in her chest, making her feel like she was floating, rather than driving along the dirt road that was taking them back to the cabin. They were going to get the animals and Andre's favorite books, and then they would be gone. Far, far away where they could be together forever.
Andre glanced over at her, laughing. "That's the third time you've said that."
"I know. I just like saying it."
She bounced in her seat, eager to get to the cabin and gather their things; to start a new life, her, Andre and whatever may come.
"Do you think we should load up tonight or wait for the morning?" The sun was already behind the mountain, bathing the land in the blue gleam of twilight.
"Tonight," Andre didn't hesitate. "The sooner we get out of here—"
He cut off. When she saw what he saw, she gasped. Her hands flew to her mouth. Andre slammed on the brakes, making them both jerk against their seatbelts.
Where the cabin had stood was now a pile of blackened wood. Mary felt like she was in some sort of insane nightmare. What had happened? They had let the fire go out overnight, and before they left that morning, Andre had stirred the coals to make sure that they were cold. Had something gone wrong with the electricity? But no. There was no smoke rising from the ruins. Somebody would have had to have put out the fire and if they had done that…
Andre suddenly bolted from the truck. Mary scrambled to follow him as he ran full-tilt towards the barn. The door was already open. Somehow, she knew what they were going to find inside.
The sheep and the goat were all dead. They were torn open, blood soaking into the hay. The smell rose nauseatingly, and Mary choked back vomit. She turned away, gagging and choking. The silence was heavy, and eventually she looked back to see Andre standing in the middle of his animals, shoulders slumped, head bowed.
She slowly went to him, reaching to touch his shoulder. He pulled away. The little lamb was at his feet. Mary knelt, hand trembling as she reached for it. Its body was cold.
"Who could have done this?" Her voice was barely more than a whisper. She pulled the butchered corpse into her arms and rocked it, feeling cold through her whole body.
Andre's answer was more growl than voice. "Paul Locke. That's who did this." He turned to Mary and with a thrill of horror she saw his eyes were completely black, the way they were when he embraced his Bear. "Your father did this."