Chapter Fifteen – Cynthia

When Ricky showed up at her hotel room, Cynthia thought he was there to drag her back to the island and lock her up. But he didn’t. Instead, he asked her to join him for a walk. She thought that maybe that meant he was going to kidnap her. She went anyway. After all, if he tried anything, it would give her the final push she needed to finally leave for good.

He didn’t try to kidnap her, though. Instead, they walked along the beach until they were well away from prying ears. Then, Ricky gestured for her to sit on a bench. Seagulls cried overhead, and the waves lapped at the beach calmly. The sun reflected off the water, glittering like one giant, glittering diamond.

“So.” She turned to Ricky. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Smith has been apprehended. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Right. Smith. She had watched out for him a little as she was out here, but she hadn’t been worried. She wasn’t on the island anymore, after all. “Good. I’m glad. What will happen to him?”

“He’ll be given a chance to explain and then tried according to our laws.” Ricky paused for a moment, then continued. “With Smith out of the way, I would like you to return to the island.”

Cynthia shook her head. She couldn’t do that, not when there was so much calling her to stay there forever. “I won’t tell anybody your… secret. I don’t imagine people would really believe me, but I also get that people knowing about you is a frightening prospect for you and your people. So I won’t tell anybody. I promise.”

Ricky nodded. Some of the tension in his jaw loosened. “Thank you. But that’s not why I want you back.”

She shivered, already knowing what he meant. “Tyrell.”

“Yes. He has… not been acting like himself lately.”

What did that mean? Cynthia remained silent.

Ricky surveyed her for a moment before shrugging. “I’ve known Tyrell since we were boys. He and Rex Tesla have always been at each other’s throats. They just have those opposite personalities, clashing from day one. But I have never seen Tyrell lose his cool before. And I can’t help but think that it is because of you.”

Was he blaming her for all this? Cynthia opened her mouth angrily to retort that Tyrell could make his own damn choices, but Ricky didn’t give her the chance.

“I’m not saying it’s your fault. It’s his fault, being such a bone-headed lug nut. He’s been denying his feelings, and that’s never healthy. He’s acting out not even knowing what’s going on in his own heart.” Ricky paused a moment, his expression becoming thoughtful. “And I have some experience with that myself. Tyrell’s always kept himself guarded. Especially after what happened to Angela.”

“What did happen to her? I know that she died and Rex blames Tyrell...”

“Tyrell blames himself, too. Angela and Tyrell were lovers. Normally that wouldn’t be such a big deal. Among us bears it’s common to have lots of lovers over our lifetime, until we find our mate. What made their situation tricky was that Angela got pregnant… on purpose.”

Cynthia’s eyes widened. She hadn’t been expecting that!

“She had fallen in love with Tyrell and thought they were mates. When she got pregnant, she demanded that he marry her. He flatly refused… He told her that he couldn’t mate someone as timid and helpless as she was. So she joined the hunter's mission with her parents that ended with them all dying. Tyrell has never forgiven himself for that.”

Cynthia blew out a breath. That was about what she had been expecting to hear, but actually hearing it… She wrapped her arms around her middle, considering what she had just learned. “That’s not really his fault then. If she was the one who made that choice… it wasn’t like he told her to join, was it?”

“No, but it was still because of him that she went.”

“And you’re telling me this because…?”

“Because ever since then, Tyrell’s kept himself closed. He hasn’t struck up any new relationships. Not romantic, not even friendships. He lives for Tamara and only Tamara. Until you came along. And I think you showed him everything that he’s been missing. Helped him to look outside of himself. Only he doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.”

A gull dove into the ocean and pulled a crab out; as it started flying to the sidewalk to smash it, the crab pinched its leg, making the gull drop it back into the ocean.

“I guess I’m here to ask you to move one way or another. Either break away from us entirely so Tyrell knows to move on, or come back and give him a second chance.”

There was a ring of authority in Ricky’s voice that was hard to ignore, but she still did. Just because he was convincing didn’t mean she was going to just let herself go back at the snap of his fingers. “I am not going to be one of those women who end up in a bad situation because she ignored warning signs. Look… I know that Tyrell panicked but if that’s how he acts under pressure, then he doesn’t deserve me on his good days.”

Ricky nodded. Something flashed in his eyes but he looked away. “You think he’ll abuse you.”

The words took her breath away. All she wanted to do in that second was to deny it. Of course not. Tyrell would never hurt her. She knew him well enough for that. He’d never do anything to intentionally cause her harm. She opened her mouth to say just that, but the words caught in her throat.

If that wasn’t what she was afraid of, why was she so hesitant to go back to him?

“I… I don’t think he would… But… I’ve had friends who were certain that their boyfriends wouldn’t. And the next thing I knew...” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m not as good a judge of character as I thought. Besides, he doesn’t even want me that way. It was just a casual, friends-with-benefits type of thing.”

“If Tyrell wanted something causal he’d have stuck with coming out to the mainland for one-night-stands.” Ricky shook his head, a rueful smile coming over his face. “I didn’t intend to come out here trying to convince you to take him back. But you do need to make up your mind, either take the risk or shun him.”

Cynthia sighed. “I know. Especially since I can’t afford to stay at a hotel forever.”

“Well...” Ricky hummed. “Kurtis, he’s one of the other alphas, he’s got an empty house in town. It’s where you stayed before. You’re welcome to go live there until you’ve made up your mind.”

Back on the island. Not near Tyrell, though, or Rex. Would that be enough distance to let her make up her mind? There was a reason she hadn’t been able to make a move. Maybe she needed to look in Tyrell’s eye and tell him it was over.

Maybe she needed to look in his eye and say she forgave him.

“I don’t know…” She chewed on her lip. “If I stay much longer, I won’t have any money to get away from here.”

Ricky nodded once.

Cynthia sighed. She didn’t want to leave. “I’ll come to the island… but I don’t want to see Tyrell until I’m ready.”

“I’ll let him know that. It’s been killing him, keeping his distance. I’m glad that it seems to be working, though.”

Cynthia didn’t respond. Her emotions were in complete turmoil, but she was satisfied with the decision she had made. Back to the island. And from there, she would be able to make a choice, one way or the other.

***

She hadn’t been in Kurtis’ house more than a few hours when the door banged open. Cynthia, sitting in front of the TV trying not to think, jumped to her feet. Rex, looking disheveled with bloodshot eyes and reeking of alcohol, stumbled in. His gaze swept the room and when they landed on her, he slammed the door behind himself.

“I knew you’d come back,” he crowed.

“Rex, I am not in the mood for—”

Before she could finish, he had crossed the room and caught her in his arms. His mouth closed over hers, tasting like whiskey and fish, hungrily probing. His hands gripped her hips hard, pulling her against him while he backed her into the couch.

Cynthia twisted her head and managed to push him off. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“You came back.” He hiccupped. “You came back for me.”

“I did no such thing.”

He swayed on the spot for a moment, then dropped. At first, she thought he was on the verge of passing out, but after another moment, he pulled a box from his pants. “Cynthia, we are mates. Marry me.”

He opened the box to reveal a diamond ring nestled inside. Cynthia’s jaw dropped.

“What the hell?”

Rex stared at her. “I know you don’t get it, but you will. We’re mates. My bear is telling me that you are the only one for me. Please, please just say you’re mine.”

He took her hand and fumbled with the ring, but she yanked it away from him quickly.

What had she done to make him think that she would be okay with being proposed to? Rex grabbed her hand and tried to shove the ring onto it. She ripped away from him, a hiss eliciting through her teeth.

“We are not mates.”

“But we are. I told you we are.”

“Take a hint already! The answer is and will always be no. Stop trying to use me to get to Tyrell.”

“I’m not trying to get Tyrell. I’m trying to get you.”

Cynthia shook her head, hard. This obsession had to stop.

Rex stared at her for a long moment, then scrambled back to his feet. He dropped the ring as he did so, glaring at her. “Why not? We’re mates, I’ve told you that we’re mates and I love you. Why won’t you believe me?”

“Your feelings do not negate mine, Rex. I don’t love you. What you are feeling isn’t love, either. You’re obsessed and it’s creepy. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“It does because we’re mates!”

Tyrell never acted like this. When he had locked her up, his thoughts had been with Tamara, to prevent her from hearing the curses and screams that she had been spewing.

Rex’s lip curled back into a furious sneer. “Is this because of Tyrell?”

“No. This,” she gestured at the two of them, “is because I have told you no and you’ve ignored that. But if you must know… I love him.” A small smile crossed her lips as she said it out loud. At once, she knew exactly why she had been having such a hard time leaving, why she felt like she was being torn in two. She wasn’t afraid of Tyrell. She was afraid of her own feelings because admitting that she loved him meant giving up part of herself. But he was worth that risk, in the end… “I love Tyrell Jarvis. He’s why I came back.”

Rex stared at her, jaw hanging loose. “But… but I love you.”

“I don’t love you. I’m sorry, but that’s how it is.”

Rex stood utterly still for a long moment before he roared. Fangs grew in his mouth and fur sprouted over his body. His hands clenched, but she thought she saw claws on the ends of them. She backed away from him, her heart jumping to her throat. Rex didn’t seem to notice or care that he was frightening her; he turned and drove his fist through the wall, roaring again and again.

“I should have known,” he seethed. “I should have known that pathetic excuse of a bear would steal the only chance I’ll ever have at having a mate!”

He whirled again. His eyes were black as coal. “He’s not your mate, Cynthia! He doesn’t love you. That bastard is incapable of love. I love you. I will take care of you, cherish you. I won’t leave you in the cold, I would never treat you the way he does. Just let me show you, I’ll make you see—”

He reached for her, but she shrunk away from him, her heart hammering. Her muscles were coiled, ready to run if he came at her. In his state, what would he do to her? To her relief, he froze. The anger drained from his face, the bear leaving his body until it was just him looking at her again. His eyes were wide, but he also looked confused.

“You’re afraid,” he muttered. “Why are you afraid?”

“Maybe because you’re drunk and destroying things?” Her voice shook with fear and she tried to cover it with anger. “Maybe because you’ve already proven that you refuse to listen to me when I say no.”

“I would never hurt you!” The fangs flashed with his roar. Cynthia didn’t pause to talk or try to reason with him. She merely ran.

He called after her, but she didn’t turn back as she dashed into the street. Rex’s bike was parked at the front of the house and the keys were still in the ignition. Not even bothering to put on the helmet, she jumped on it and took off. It was only when she was halfway to Tyrell’s farm that she realized that that was where she was going.

She eased off the speed, her heart slamming into her chest. She was barefoot, didn’t have a radio, and was wearing pajamas. Rex waited for her back at the house, and who knew how Tyrell would react to her… Should she just go to Ruby’s house instead? She’d understand… wouldn’t she?

But Cynthia didn’t want to see Ruby. She wanted to see Tyrell. To have him hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

The rest of the drive to the farm was slow. By the time she arrived, she was shivering. She went up the steps and knocked loudly. She knew he was still up because the lights were on.

When the door opened, a thousand emotions came rushing back to her. Tyrell’s jaw dropped when he saw her standing there. She didn’t know what he must be thinking, seeing her like this. She didn’t ask.

“I haven’t forgiven you yet,” she told him firmly. “I know you panicked and I’m working on it, but I’m not there yet.”

He glanced at her naked toes and opened his mouth, but she didn’t let him ask.

“I love you.”

Tyrell’s head jerked up and his eyes widened even further. “What?”

“I love you,” she repeated. “Tyrell Jarvis… I love you. And it scares me to death.”

“Same.” Tyrell laughed. “I mean… I love you. And it’s terrifying.”

Cynthia nodded. The nerves from the night all collapsed on her and suddenly she couldn't hold herself back. She ran to him, threw her arms around his neck, and started to sob. Tyrell held her close, making soothing, if bewildered, noises. He didn’t ask her what was wrong, just let her cry it out.