CHAPTER NINE

 

Weston scooped up a large forkful of potato and shoved the bite into his mouth. He could moan aloud at the wonderful savory taste. Although he could cook, he wasn’t a very good one. He missed having meals that were like an orchestra to his taste buds.

Lucas’s rough-edged tone took away some of the enjoyment of the meal.

Weston looked over his fork to meet Sammie’s gaze. He could see the unspoken plea in the blue depths, and it reached in and grabbed his heart. His protective side came alive, but he controlled the emotion. This wasn’t his fight and if Sammie and Lucas ever planned to find solid ground, they needed to work it out…just the two of them.

Also, pushing Lucas into a corner would only backfire.

“That’s a low blow, don’t you think?” Sammie had her attention back on Lucas.

“Stick around. I have plenty more where that came from. What you need to do is pack those fancy bags with your designer clothes and head back where you belong because you don’t want to be here.”

“That’s not true. I could have easily not come, but I did,” she muttered.

“No one wants you here.” Lucas sighed.

“That’s not true. I want her here.” The words trickled out of Weston’s mouth on their own accord. So much for staying neutral, but he couldn’t sit back and watch Sammie take the blame.

Lucas didn’t even look Weston’s direction. “Maybe you’ll knock her up again.”

Weston’s heart kicked up in speed until he thought the thudding would break a rib. He turned to Sammie, expecting her to deny her father’s words, or at least laugh at the absurdity. She sat there, quiet. “Sammie?” he choked out her name.

She pushed her chair back, but didn’t get up. “Let’s get something straight. I’m here and I have every intention of working my ass off to get Tanner Ranch in good enough shape to sell. There’s another thing, daddy. I love you, as difficult as you make that at times, and you will accept the fact that I’m making the business decisions for the time being. And another charmer…you’re going to see a doctor. I will make the appointment and you can take yourself or I will take you. Really your choice.” She stood, tossing her napkin onto the table. “Before you ask me again what right I have, I’ll tell you. I emptied my bank account to pay your hands and the bank that was about to foreclose on this place. So much for me wanting to pat my account.”

Weston watched her take her plate to the sink.

Bessie took a step forward. “Sweetie…” She reached out, but dropped her hand as if realizing Sammie needed a moment.

“I’ll be outside. Thank you for lunch, Bessie.”

Weston stared as Sammie stepped through the screen door. His chest was on fire. His mind couldn’t wrap around the words Lucas had spoken. His lunch threatened to come back up.

“You don’t have to come back, Wes. Things are fine around here,” Lucas said in a soft voice that made Weston wonder if the man realized he’d crossed a line.

Getting up from his chair, Weston dropped his napkin next to Sammie’s and placed his Stetson back on his head. “Not going to happen, my friend. As long as Sammie is here working this place, trying to salvage things, means I’ll be here too for as long as it takes. You might not heed what I’m about to say, but you’re going to hear it. She didn’t have to come, but she did and it has nothing to do with money. Know that. Keep this up and you’ll push her away and she won’t come back. We also both know that’s not what you want whether you admit it or not. Sammie is an amazing woman with a heart the size of Texas. After all, she still loves you.”

Weston dipped his hat to Bessie. “Thank you for a great meal.” And he left.

Lucas scrubbed his jaw and stood, finding Bessie’s grey eyes narrowed on him. “What?”

“I’ve known you and Hannah for as long as I remember, and I must say she’d be mighty disappointed in you, you cantankerous old man.” She shook her head, her eyes filled with unshed tears, and she walked away too.

 

*****

Sammie brought out the napkin filled with sausage that she’d stuffed in her pocket and dropped the scraps for the barn cat who ate hungrily. She nuzzled behind his ears, loving that he purred happily. “You need a name, don’t you? How about Tink? Tink’s a nice, fun name.”

Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back.

How had she not seen this roller coaster coming? Lucas was in full throttle and he didn’t care who he hurt, or how he hurt them. How could she have believed that he wouldn’t throw her under the bus so easily? Outside of hurting Sammie, this also involved Wes.

She’d left Colton because she’d been at a crossroads between fear and uncertainty, needing to get her head on straight. Her tender heart had been broken back then and the wounds had healed, but she still had scars.

Hearing the rustling of hay underfoot, she didn’t look up as someone entered the barn. Somehow, she knew Wes would come after her. She was certain he had more questions, now more than ever, and she wasn’t sure she could answer all of them without breaking down.

“I’m sorry you had to witness that. I’m embarrassed,” she said.

“You shouldn’t be. All families have their secrets, but I need to know. Is Lucas right? Were you pregnant with my child?”

Sammie brought her chin up. Seeing him standing there, vulnerability marring his masculine looks, guilt plagued her. This wasn’t how she wanted him to find out. Would he ever understand that she left Colton to save him a lot of heartache?

“I guess you’ve decided that helping out here is bad news.”

“No, I’m staying, but you need to tell me the truth. I deserve the truth,” he told her in a grave voice.

Getting up from the barn floor, she walked over to a bale of hay and dropped down, tucking tendrils of hair behind her ear. She could no longer hide the secret she carried around for nine years. She could run away again, carrying her baggage with her and never come back. Yet, she couldn’t leave the ranch the way things were, not for her daddy as much as for her mom who would want Sammie to stay and make things right.

Rubbing her eyes, she sighed. “It’s a lot to handle. Make sure you’re ready to hear it.”

“At this point, what other choice is there?”

“Have a seat, it might take a while.”

He pulled up a bale and sat. “Now tell me. What about the baby? Did you give him or her up for adoption? Did you have an abortion?” There was a raspy tone to his words.

“I was pregnant. I lost it.” She was surprised her lips didn’t turn numb. “This is the first time I’ve spoken the words for years.”

“You didn’t tell me? How did your father know?”

 “So much for patient confidentiality. The doctor’s office had called and I wasn’t home. They gave daddy the news that I was indeed pregnant. When I came home that night, it was late and all I wanted to do was fall into bed, or even fall into daddy’s arms and tell him…” she shook her head. “What had happened the night before in the barn. All I needed was a bit of provocation, acceptance, like mom would have given me. Instead, he immediately accused me of ruining my life. Demanding that I tell you the news and we would have no choice but to get married. He told me, “Only bad girls get pregnant out of wedlock”.” She laughed, but it sounded cold even to her ears.

“I don’t understand.” Wes’s eyes narrowed and his skin paled. “Is this why you left?” He settled his elbows on his knees and clasped his large hands tight, his knuckles white.

“No…yes…part of the reason.” The words seemed to glue themselves to the roof of her mouth.

He blew out a long breath. “I’m listening. You said something happened in the barn.”

“There’s so much you don’t understand.”

“Try me,” he encouraged.

“I wanted to tell you, Wes, that I suspected I was pregnant. I had to be sure first so I had gone to the doctor. That night I was outside taking care of the horses, my mind reeling over what I’d do if I was pregnant, and then suddenly I was no longer alone. I had been so caught up with my thoughts that I didn’t hear him come in.” Her throat constricted and she swallowed. Now that the words were out she had to stay focused, continue to spill everything. “I saw him standing in the shadows and at first I was confused, but it became clear what he intended to do. I could tell by his blank eyes and tight fists.”

“Who is ‘he’?”

She met his gaze for a mere second then, looked away, watching the cat nibble at the sausage. “Logan.”

“Logan?” Wes sat straight, dragged off his hat, and tossed it aside. Dangerous lines appeared around his eyes and mouth.

“I-I warned him that if he didn’t leave, I’d tell you—I’d tell daddy, but he had been drinking and I could smell the liquor strong on him. I’d never seen him drunk before. I didn’t realize how upset he’d been over you and I dating until then, although he and I had nothing. I didn’t realize he and his dad had gotten into an argument, leaving Logan full of anger. He didn’t like being duped by me and he made that clear.”

“He was one of my friends. He could drink at times, we all did, but he never said anything to me. He never let on that he was hurt.”

Sammie leaned against the wall. “I didn’t think he was upset either. He and I had only gone out twice, more friends than anything. Something triggered in him and adding alcohol intensified his emotions. I tried to walk away, but he blocked my path. I even tried screaming but his hand over my mouth stopped me. He was strong—stronger than me.” She was numb. The words flowed like water. “Before I could manage anything, he had me on my back and on the ground. He was on top of me and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything because he was remarkably strong.”

Wes jumped up, his eyes turning three shades darker and his lips set in a harsh line. “What the hell?” He gripped his hands into fists.

“Please, Wes. Sit. I can’t stop now.”

With a disgruntled sigh, he sat back down, but the severity in his face didn’t subside.

“If he’d had his way, things would have gone terribly bad, but because he was two sheets to the wind and his responses were weak, I was able to finally wriggle a bit and grab the first thing I came to, which happened to be the feed bucket I had dropped. I hit him over the head hard and he went limp. I didn’t worry about him, and I ran as fast as I could into the house and hid inside of my bedroom, waiting until morning finally came. I didn’t know how seriously I had hurt him, and I feared that I had killed him, but he was gone in the morning and no one said anything. That day I was supposed to see you, but I made an excuse that I wasn’t feeling well.”

He nodded. “I remember. I also remember Logan had told me he’d fallen and that’s how he’d gotten the cut on his head.”

“Then the next day, the phone call, daddy’s anger. It was all too much. I knew he was only worried about my future, and I knew my world had changed. I was old enough to make my own decisions, but what I couldn’t do was tell you about Logan. I knew what you would do and I couldn’t bear thinking you’d do something that couldn’t be taken back.”

He rubbed his jaw. “Logan looked rough. He had a knot the size of an egg on his forehead. I tried to get him to see a doctor, but he blew it off as nothing. After that, he was different, drank himself into oblivion every night and our friendship fizzled. I had no clue, Sammie. I would have killed him with my bare hands.”

She met his gaze. “I know you would have and that’s why I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t take the chance that you and daddy would risk going to prison. I was young and uncertain of what I should do. I promise, I didn’t plan to keep the baby away from you. I only needed time to figure things out. To gain control over myself to figure out what to do.”

“The baby. What happened exactly?”

“I lost our child not soon after I arrived in Chicago to stay with a college friend. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they did. I picked up the phone to call you, but each time I did, all I could see was Logan’s hateful expression and his blank eyes as I struck him on the head. I didn’t know if he’d tell you, but I was at a cross between wanting him to and not wanting you to know what happened. I wondered if you’d see me the same way.”

 “How was I so blind? How did I not see?”

“How would you have had a clue, Wes? He was your friend since you both were kids. And the baby…well, there would have been no way for you to know.”

“It was my responsibility. I should have known, protected you from Logan. I should have held you when you needed me most.” He tore a hand through his hair, sending ebony waves throughout the thick mass. “I should have gone after you,” his whispered words struck her in the stomach.

“You saw it as me leaving you, but that wasn’t true. Leaving was the hardest thing I had to do, and then before I knew it, a year had passed. Three. Four. Then nine. None of this was because of you.” Her hands trembled and, to hide them, she wrapped her arms over her chest. “I haven’t told you all this because I want your pity or sympathy. Please, that would be unbearable.” She looked at him through her lashes.

“I don’t pity you. I only…”

She could see that he grappled with the right words. “It has taken a few years, but I’m okay. I really am. When I found out that Logan had been killed in the accident, I knew he could never haunt me again. There would be no chance of ever seeing him again. I’ve even realized that I might never find a relationship, but I want a child. Before you called, I had been seeing someone, but we weren’t close and I knew we never would be. I had considered artificial insemination, missing the baby we could have had and wanting another chance to have another.”

“Sweetheart, you deserve to be held warmly while a man leaves his seed inside you.”

She gulped air. His words ignited a flame inside her. “Oh, Wes. I’m so sorry.”

“Just don’t leave here, Seesaw.” His words were filled with emotion.

“I’m not leaving. I won’t allow daddy to push me away again. Mom would want me to be here to help. As cantankerous as he is, I love him and I know he loves me in his own way.”

“I won’t defend him, but a man like Lucas hides his emotions away. It’s hard for him to say exactly what he’s feeling. He’s a stubborn, hard headed man that needs a wake-up call.”

Sammie stood, trying to smile, although she was still sore inside. “You said you needed to leave by one. I’m sure it’s after that so you should go and take care of business. I’ll be at Second Chances to watch Brie. No worries.” She swiped the hay off her bottom.

He hesitated, his lips parted as if he had something to say, but he must have thought better. She didn’t want things to be awkward between them so she hoped he sucked up what she’d told him and they could go on. He nodded. “I’ll see you this evening.”