The two-story house where Anna grew up filled Drew’s view through the windshield. Perfect landscaping, a swing set peeking from the back yard with the river as a back drop.
Stalling.
He was stalling to walk up those porch steps and knock. How could something feel so familiar and so completely different at the same time?
Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the steering wheel and pulled in deep breaths. In all the years Drew had known Anna, he’d never been this nervous around her. But the hope he had for their future was a dangerous thing. He’d laid all his cards on the table yesterday, and he wasn’t even sure she was at the table yet. The thought of losing her again scared him more than he could admit or he’d put the truck in reverse and run.
Man up and walk up to the damn door.
He wiped clammy hands on his jeans as he rang the bell and waited. Anna swung the door open wide, ponytail bouncing with a shy grin. Dressed in a sweatshirt and jeans, she was the exact picture burned into his mind for years. The sight still took his breath away.
“Hi there.” Her smile grew wider, and she moved to the side. “It feels weird seeing you ring the bell. I’m not sure you ever have before.”
“Is that good or bad?” he asked.
She shrugged indifferently but gave him a smirk over her shoulder.
Drew leaned against the back of the living room couch, studying her from her cute little bare feet to her silky blonde hair. “So where are the little critters?”
“Baby Jace is napping.”
He searched the room from left to right. “Elise? Charlotte? Your mom and dad?”
“Mom took the kids to lunch at the diner then the park. She dragged my dad with her. Literally dragged him from his chair and out the door. Since Jace sleeps most of the time and he’s the only one she left, I think she was not so subtly trying to leave us alone.”
“Just you and me, huh?” He shoved her playfully on the arm.
She shoved back so hard he nearly fell over the couch. “Don’t get any ideas, Mr. I’m-a-gentleman-and-don’t-kiss-on-the-first-date.”
He raised a teasing brow. “I thought this wasn’t a date.”
“It’s not.”
“I don’t exactly remember specifying the first date part of that gentlemanly timeline.”
“Whatever you think is best.” She cut him off with a wicked smile. Her intense competitive streak definitely hadn’t changed.
“That a challenge?” He brushed a hand across the small of her back as he passed to sit. She shivered, and he gave a mental fist bump. He still affected her, and he liked that, a hell of a lot. If she wanted to play, he’d play. “But you know…we’ve had some pretty fun times in this house alone. I’m just sayin’.”
Every high school couple took advantage of those precious moments of privacy, and they were no different. Some specific moments came to mind as he fell onto the couch.
“Hmm, not sure I remember.” Her teeth firmly sank into the side of her lip, always her tell she was lying. He made a contest of holding her gaze while her cheeks turned his favorite shade of pink.
“Oh, you remember.” He’d always loved making her blush. Watching the color fill her face caused a jerk on that string she held so tightly around his heart.
A baby’s cry broke their stare. With a small shake of her head, Anna left the room returning a moment later cradling little Jace in her arms. She kissed the baby’s tiny forehead as she made her way to Drew.
“I need to warm his bottle. Want to hold him?”
Drew nodded, and she arranged the baby boy in his arms. Their faces and those gloss-covered lips were just inches apart. Drew knew they’d feel so much better than every fantasy he’d had, and his body leaned toward hers without permission. She smiled softly, her thumb briefly touching his lower lip before she left for the kitchen.
He sighed heavily, and his gaze drifted down to Jace. The little man watched him with those big eyes that identically matched his mother’s and aunt’s. Drew’s mind drifted to Anna’s round belly holding their first child. It was way too early for those thoughts, he knew it was, but that didn’t stop the damn grin on his face.
Anna’s voice pulled him from the dream. “Want to feed him?”
“I’ll let you,” he chuckled.
“Maybe next time?”
“Next time? I like the sound of that.” He wanted all the next times she was willing to give him.
Every. Single. One.
Anna sat in the leather rocker across the room and cradled Jace. She stroked his cheek and gazed at him lovingly while he drank. The bottle was empty in minutes, and he’d drifted back to sleep.
Watching Anna with a baby made Drew’s heart clench in a way he’d never felt before. She needed him to take their relationship slow; he had to earn her trust again, but he wanted to hold her hand as he became a father and rocked their own baby to sleep.
“Wow, you’re a pro at that already.” He broke the silence before he let those thoughts race any further. “You’ll make an amazing mother someday to those three kids.”
“Oh yeah?” She laughed. “Since when am I having three little ones?”
“That’s what you told me you wanted.”
“You remember?”
“I remember it all.”
She smiled, biting that sweet lower lip. “I guess maybe I do too.”
They sat in silence, her gaze drifting to the floor with tension furrowing her brow.
“Is something wrong?” he asked.
She awakened from whatever thought she was having. “Oh, it’s nothing. I just…”
He didn’t want to push her, but the pain in her eyes nearly broke him. “Just?”
She gave a heavy sigh. “Mason and I talked about starting a family. We tried for over a year, but it never happened.”
“Anna…” The pain in her expression after Jace’s birth made sense now.
She stared down at baby Jace. “We’d agreed to go though some testing, see if there were any problems, but then he cheated, and I signed his divorce papers. There wasn’t really any reason to go for testing after that.”
Mason.
Drew had to deal with her past, no matter how much it hurt or how much he wanted to beat the hell out of the guy. The image of them trying to start a family definitely wasn’t something he needed in his head.
“I’m sorry he hurt you,” Drew whispered, knowing it wasn’t enough.
She avoided his stare with her fake smile. “Me too, but I’m moving past it.”
He needed to take away her fears and make her feel safe with him again.
Drew stood, pointing over his shoulder. “Restroom still down the hall, right?”
“Yep, everything’s still the same.”
“Is it?” He raised a questioning brow.
She let out a soft laugh, but a glimpse of his Sunshine peeked through in her smile.
Leaving the restroom, Drew walked down the hall past Anna’s bedroom. A quick glance inside and he spotted something familiar on the nightstand. To his surprise, it was unlocked.
He walked into the living room holding her diary in the air. “So I’ve been trying to get my hands on this thing for years.”
Her eyes went wide with horror, and she jumped from the chair. “Give me that right now,” she whisper-screamed, trying not to wake Jace.
“Are you kidding me? I searched forever trying to find the key to this thing, even thought about breaking into it a few times. Now here it sits, completely unlocked for me to look through, and you think I’m handing it over?” Drew would never actually invade her private thoughts like that, unless she gave him permission, of course.
He put the diary behind his back and raised one eyebrow at her in challenge. After a few minutes of staring him down, she yanked it away. “Yes, I do.”
“Do you know how badly I wanted to read what you wrote about me in there?”
She poked a finger in his chest. “Who says there’s anything in there about you?”
“There isn’t? Well then, you won’t mind if I read some of it then.” He reached to take it back.
“Maybe if you’re good, I’ll let you read parts of it…someday. But there are parts you definitely will never get to see.”
He ran his finger over a piece of her soft blonde hair, tucking it behind her ear. “Well, I guess I’ll have to be good then.”
Those green eyes were shining bright, and the spark from the girl who once loved him was simmering along the edges. They sat together on the couch, and he moved his arm around Anna’s shoulders, cradling her and Jace against him.
“I’m glad you’re here, Drew.” Anna rested her head on Drew’s shoulder with a content sigh.
Emotions clogged his throat as he tried to respond. “Me too.”
She was special in so many ways. He’d seen that in middle school when he started to really notice girls didn’t, in fact, have cooties. Yet she was the one who always made him feel special in the way those bright green eyes held his, always shy and tender at first, but burning with fire when she’d kiss him. She’d loved him with her whole heart, never holding back.
Drew drifted his fingers though the silk of her hair, brushing along the spot on her neck where she loved to be kissed. “Can I take you on that first date this week?”
“Do you have a day in mind?”
“All of them,” he whispered, pushing the button on the automatic couch recliner, relaxing them back into sleep.
***
Anna
With the brilliant intention of taking things slow, Anna delayed their “first” date three days, though she had no plans the entire week. The rational part of her brain felt they needed space to ease back into whatever this was between them. But his wake-up call every morning and sweet reassuring words he’d texted sent her into a fury of nervous energy. A walk down the river that happened to be in the direction of his house was only stopped by two days of rain. She’d actually considered grabbing an umbrella and going anyway.
Her nerves quickly turned to panic when the day of their date arrived. She walked the grounds at Yoakum Ridge, reviewing work on each cabin and then the lodge. Luke’s continuous teasing about the date every time she got within ten feet of him didn’t help, especially when the rest of the crew caught on and joined the playful fun. She’d grown to love the obnoxious crew of guys that Luke tried to keep in line as foreman for Frank Bartlett’s Construction Company.
Would tonight’s conversation be as easy as it always had between Drew and her? Should she tell him everything?
Anna longed for the ease they always had together, comfort in each other’s arms with the perfect combination of can’t-keep-my-hands-off-you passion. But those things, the relationship they once shared, terrified her the most. Falling back in love with him to have it all ripped away when he left wasn’t a gamble her heart could afford.
A life with Drew felt like this beautiful, messy, amazing fantasy just out of reach. She could see it, but when she reached out to grab it, the vision faded. The rational part of her continued to run through the reasons this was a bad idea, but the fear of losing him wasn’t strong enough to make her resist those chocolate brown eyes, that sexy crooked smile.
After racing home from work, a second shower did nothing to calm her, but she was dressed and ready two minutes before the doorbell rang. A black flowy shirt, peep-toe heels, and jeans were her chosen outfit after at least a dozen combinations. Heels never failed to make her feel pretty, and tonight she needed all the confidence boost she could get.
Anna’s heart pounded so hard the room turned fuzzy as she walked through the living room to the front door. Squeezing the knob for dear life, she pulled in a deep breath and flung it open.
Drew’s gray v-neck sweater hugged tightly across his strong chest, sleeves pushed up for a peek at his forearms, and the dark denim fit him to perfection. He was gorgeous with that dimple peeking at her from his right cheek. She stared, mouth gaping, but couldn’t bring herself to stop…or speak.
His smile grew wider as he leaned in, arms wrapping around her middle. His warm breath met her ear. “You are beautiful.”
He leaned back, searching her face, their gaze locking together as his fingers lightly brushed her cheek. That tender touch, the intensity in those eyes, his spicy clean scent, had her neck and cheeks burning in a full-on blush. He made every part of her feel alive, and she wasn’t sure if it thrilled or terrified her more.
There was a throat clearing, and Anna remembered her parents on the couch behind them. Drew stepped inside and waved. “I’ll have her home early, I promise.”
Her mother laughed and told them to have a good time. Her dad simply nodded with a smile.
“Your dad and brother always scared the hell out of me,” he said as they made their way down the porch steps.
“Really?”
“Yeah, really,” he chuckled. “Max never made a secret of hating my guts. I think I’m close to winning over your dad, but your brother might be a lost cause.”
Max was never a fan of his baby sister having a boyfriend, but after the break up, when their mother called him to come get Anna out of bed after she’d cried for a week, the name Drew was no longer spoken in his presence.
Drew opened the door to his shiny black Ram truck, holding her hips to help her in. His hands lingered, fingers digging into her skin through the shirt’s thin fabric. With a quick shake of his head, he blew out a breath and closed the door.
“A Dodge, huh?” Anna teased as he took his seat next to her.
“Don’t you start with me,” he grumbled, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
“I’m just saying…I listened to you and Luke have the Chevy versus Dodge debate for years. I guess he finally swayed you?”
He laughed, staring at the Ram symbol on the steering wheel.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said. “It’s a beautiful truck—”
“We don’t call trucks beautiful, sweetheart. They’re rugged and manly.”
“Okay, well, your truck is very rugged and manly, but I’m positive I heard you say you’d never own anything but a Chevy.”
“He talked me into driving it, and…I couldn’t talk myself out of buying it.”
“And you’ll never live that one down. Did you factor that in your buying choice? The fact that Luke will hold it over your head for the rest of your life?”
“Yes, it was that awesome.” He winked. “So I had lots of date ideas, but if we’re going full-on first date here, we should go to the diner?”
“Full-on first date?” She laughed.
Drew eyed the spot next to him then met her gaze with a raised brow. When they were teenagers, she’d slide over there immediately and snuggle close to him, gearshift between her knees, his hand on her thigh. The urge to be near him was so strong her body moved toward him without permission. Biting down hard on her lip, she reined it in and kept her spot by the door.
“You wanted the first date experience, did you not? We had our first date at Betty’s Diner over burgers and fries. You got that nacho cheese you love to dip your fries in, and you had it on your chin for about twenty minutes.”
“I did not!” she squealed.
“You did, and amazingly, I still asked for a second date. It made you look so damn cute I couldn’t bring myself to tell you it was there.”
Drew parked in front of the little white diner with the red roof, taking her hand in his to help her from the truck. He intertwined their fingers, his thumb softly rubbing across her knuckles. Just the touch of his hand sent shivers all the way to her toes.
Rose Craig led them to a small booth in the back. She and her husband Tom had owned the diner for thirty years. Nothing had changed, from the red and white checked tablecloths to the Sage Hill Tigers student artwork covering the walls. Rose took the notepad from her yellow daisy-print apron, smiling at the long-lost couple that once sat in this very same booth every Friday.
They ordered, and she whispered in Drew’s ear on her way back to the kitchen.
“Well, our orders haven’t changed over the last ten years,” Anna said with a laugh.
Drew’s expression grew serious, those intense brown depths searing hers. “We’re still the same people, Anna.”
Maybe they were, but was that good or bad? He didn’t want the Anna that existed ten years ago. And what about everything that happened since? The things she still struggled with the words to explain.
“How do you like your job at Green & Russell?” he asked, and she said a thankful prayer for the distraction.
“It’s great. I love Carole, my boss, and the Yoakum Ridge development she offered me is an amazing opportunity. There’s a VP position open, and I feel like if this project goes well, I’ve got a really great shot at it.” She saw the flash of dejection cross his face at the mention of her leaving, but he hid it away quickly. It was time to steer in another direction. “Yoakum Ridge has been great so far. Even Luke’s crew and their constant teasing are pretty fun.”
Drew gave her a playful scowl. “They’re flirting with the hot girl. I can’t blame them, but I sort of want to throat punch them all.”
She laughed. “What about you? How’s practicing medicine in a small town compared to the big city residency?”
“I didn’t really know what I was getting into with the crazy people in this town, but I love it. I missed this place.”
“Yeah.” She nodded in agreement as he took her hand in his on the table, skimming his fingers over the top. He was the kindest man she’d ever met. He probably didn’t even charge half the people that came in his office. Or they paid him in pie.
Talk turned to their families then high school friends and where they were today. Most married with more than one child.
When Rose returned with their food, she patted Anna on the back, and behind her, Tom peeked his head out from the kitchen.
Anna’s eyes slowly scanned the room as she leaned across the table. Drew stopped mid-bite. “Did you notice everyone in this restaurant is staring at us?” she whispered.
“Yep.” He finished his bite and continued. “I noticed the whispers when we walked in, and Rose said, ‘Good for you, sweetheart,’ in my ear as we sat down. It’s a small town, and we’ve just become the juiciest piece of gossip. Drew and Anna…will they or won’t they?”
That aspect of living in Sage Hill had conveniently slipped her mind in the years she’d been away.
“Now I sort of feel like we should put on a show for them. Like we’re actors expected to entertain.”
Drew let out a full belly laugh, almost choking on his burger. “I could reach across this table, grab your face, and kiss the hell out of you. That would get the rumor mill turning pretty quick.”
“Mr. ‘I’m a Gentleman.’ I thought you didn’t want to kiss me,” she teased.
He set his fork on the plate and held her hand in his. “I’m certain I did not say that. I haven’t stopped wanting to kiss you since I got over girls being gross. I’m still pissed Chris Howard stole your first kiss from me in fourth grade. Even if it was just on the cheek.”
Anna’s free hand touched his face, leading him closer. “Well, maybe you should’ve stepped up your game.”
His eyes narrowed, but her favorite smile appeared. “You will pay for that comment.”
The two of them shared Rose’s famous apple pie for dessert, county fair winner fifteen years running from the blue ribbons lining the wall.
They left the restaurant and the prying eyes of its patrons. Drew started the truck and turned to her. “I can’t believe you ate the last bite of pie. Without even asking if I wanted it.”
“Sorry.” She gave him her most innocent smile. “It was so delicious, and I could tell you wanted me to have it.”
He flashed her a fake scowl, grabbing her waist and pulling her to his side on the bench seat. “So, what would a couple on a first date do now?” Drew asked with a nervous smile. “I know what we would have done back when…but I’m not sure you’d want to go there.”
“I don’t think I’m quite ready to visit the river. I know it has a lot of great memories, but…that’s definitely not a first date place.” She looked away, unable to meet his eyes. Her composure had gone into hiding with one mention of their spot. “How about we go back to my parents’ house?”
“Really?” His brow furrowed, the disappointment clear in his voice.
“Oh no, I’m not ready for the night to end. Let’s sit on the porch and talk. Is that okay?”
Drew reached up, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. “Sounds perfect.”
The drive was quiet. Soft country music played as Anna settled into a place and time she never thought would exist again. A time when Drew had one hand on her leg, one on the steering wheel, her nose brushing his neck slightly as her head fell on his shoulder. She was scared to death of how much she loved this moment, every moment with him. Scared of losing him, scared of keeping him, scared of everything that came next.
They parked in the driveway, and Drew immediately took her hand in his, leading them to the porch swing. He pulled her tight against him, her nose in his chest breathing in the special Drew scent of soap and spice. It was addicting, making her wish for so much more than she was ready for.
The swing had its familiar squeak as they rocked, and Drew sighed, hugging Anna so tight she almost couldn’t breathe. With those strong biceps wrapped around her, warmth coursing through her entire body, she decided breathing was overrated. She’d pass out before she moved from his touch.
“Can I make you dinner tomorrow night?” he whispered.
“Wow, seeing me two nights in a row. You’re gonna get tired of me pretty quick,” she teased.
Drew turned to face her, the dim light from inside illuminating his thoughtful expression. “I guarantee you that will never happen.” He pulled his hand up, brushing her cheek with calloused fingers. The hot doctor in the white coat combined with the sexy cowboy who rode horses and lived on a farm.
Her breathing hitched as she watched him. Dear God in Heaven, she didn’t stand a chance.
“Do you remember our first kiss?” she blurted.
Drew chuckled, a mischievous spark in his eyes. “There you go, thinking about kissing me again.”
Anna couldn’t form words when he looked at her that way, so she simply shrugged.
“Do you honestly think I would forget? It was in your tree house by the river in the backyard. We were holding hands, and I leaned in and kissed you. Then it started thundering and lightning. Scared the hell out of me. Thought your dad caught us.”
A grin broke out on her face. She’d never been so nervous in her life, but when his lips touched hers, the nerves melted away, replaced with an emotion she didn’t even recognize at the time. She’d loved him even then. “We were drenched. That tree house leaked so badly.”
Drew stared nervously at their joined hands. “We have great memories on that river, too.”
“I know we do. It’s just the last memory…” Talking about it made her stomach clench and nausea took over.
Drew lifted her chin so their gaze met. “I know, and you’ll never know how sorry I am.”
“Let’s agree to stop apologizing, okay?”
He threaded his fingers through her hair. “I’ve spent eleven years wishing that day never happened.”
“I understand, and I want to get past it.” She wanted it like she wanted her next breath, but she’d been burned by both men trusted with her heart, and she wasn’t entirely sure she was capable of that kind of faith again.
He smiled. That ridiculously sexy smile. “I’m confident you will.”
For a second, she thought he’d give in and kiss her. She’d challenged him on this stupid “no kissing” first date, and now it was biting her in the rear because all she could think about were those lips on hers. Would they still cause the same fire to ignite as they had before?
Drew let out a slow breath and looked up to the ceiling, cuddling her closer to him when a cool breeze blew around them.
Please don’t break my heart again, Drew.
“It’s getting late. I should probably go.” Drew stood, pulling her with him. “See you tomorrow night?”
The anxious way he bit the corner of his mouth made her smile. She’d rarely seen this always self-confident man nervous, and it gave her hope that this thing between them meant something real to him. “Tomorrow.”
He leaned in, and her eyes fluttered closed as his lips met her forehead. “The forehead doesn’t count,” he whispered.
His restraint was impressive. She hated him a little bit for it, but she didn’t intend to suffer alone.
Anna ran her hands up his chest, one finger brushing his collarbone as his heart beat wildly under her palm. “I bet I could get you to kiss me.”
He muttered a curse and took small steps backward. “I’m certain you could. That’s why I’m leaving right now.”
He continued walking backward to his truck, holding the door open but never taking his eyes off her. “Good night, Anna.”
“Good night, Drew,” she murmured, still waving long after his taillights faded into darkness.