Ten minutes later, I walked downstairs, only to find Beau wasn’t the only guest to dinner tonight. Wesley stood by the fireplace, a glass in his hand. But his eyes had been on Beau, a scowl on both of their features.
As soon as I walked in, Wesley’s expression changed to one of pure happiness and he walked over.
I didn’t look at Beau as Wesley took my hand and pulled me to sit down together on the opposing couch. Wesley and I hadn’t moved much further in our relationship. I had wanted to take my time, feeling odd getting physical with anyone with all my memories still tangled with Beau.
Beau sat across from us, his steel thighs parted, a glass in his hand. When I braved a look, his eyes were on me. Soft and warm, like I was everything he ever wanted. I didn’t recognize this man before me. Calm and quiet, not the same man I had seen two months ago, grumpy and dark and damaged.
He seemed lighter, like the darkness inside of him had been lifted and he was free. I wanted to keep staring at him but looked away. If I didn’t, I would have gone to him. He called to me, even when he seemed so different, so put together and calm.
And still called to me. And I to him.
I wanted to sleep in that calmness, to bath and let him sooth me.
“Dinner’s ready,” Molly called.
Thank fucking God.
I moved fast, sitting down at the elegant dining room table. Tensley sat at the head and Molly sat at the opposite end. Usually if it was just the three of us, Molly sat next to Tensley. When dinner was formal, they played along. The perfect Dux and his refined wife. I sat down, Wesley claiming the seat beside mine. Beau with a tight expression sat down across from us.
I didn’t need to look his way to know he was watching me. I could feel it. The heat of his gaze burning into my side profile as I listened to Wesley talk to Tensley about trivial details of Scorpios.
“And you Beau?” Wesley began, nodding his head at him. “Do you wish to join Scorpios? I know you were busy keeping the lower class in line. And whatever you’ve been up to for the last two months.” I watched Beau, his gaze switching from me to Wesley. He had barely touched his food. Wesley cut into his steak, a pool of pink filling his plate. “And the Pit. I’ve heard horror stories about that hellhole.”
I clenched my hands on my thighs. I hadn’t told Wesley much of my history, only so many details, but I hadn’t mentioned the Pit. I didn’t care what he thought of me being involved there.
Beau licked his bottom lip and leaned back, his eyes swinging to mine for one split second. “My brother wishes for me to oversee the Boston area.”
I looked down at my plate. He was going to leave again?
Wesley stayed silent, glancing over at Tensley. “I assumed that would go to one of the higher up soldiers.” There’s an edge to his voice. A slight taste of privilege. That he’s questioning why Tensley is sending someone not quite a part of Scorpios.
“If you had gone to the Pit,” Tensley said, his voice clipped. “You would not question why he’s the best man for the job.”
Wesley stared back at Beau, chewing on his food. I knew the look. He was sizing him up. When I looked back at Beau, he was gazing at me again.
I swallowed thickly and then Beau turned his attention back to the others.
“I’ve spent the last two months with warlocks,” Beau said, so calmly.
Tensley’s brows lifted to his hairline. “With warlocks? Why?”
Beau sat back, again calmness radiating off of him. “To cleanse my soul.”
My heart seized deep in my chest and I must have gasped because his eyes flew to mine, so warm and soft.
“I spent the last two months with warlocks cleansing me from the darkness within me,” he spoke, his head held high. I clenched my shirt, tears welling in my eyes. I wanted to speak, to ask so many questions, to say I was so proud of him. “I needed to let go of my past, to stop living in the past and blaming myself for everything that happened.” I watched his own hands tremble, but he steadied them and slowly, looked up at me, a strong gaze that took my breath away. “I needed to forgive myself to be able to move on.” I couldn’t look away but couldn’t help how fast my pulse was racing. “To save myself before I could give myself to anyone else.”
I didn’t look away though, ignoring when the redness began to creep up my cheeks.
Molly sniffled, bringing a tissue to her eyes. “I’m so happy for you, Beau.”
Tensley patted Beau’s shoulder, but Beau’s focus was entirely on me.
I wanted to say something, to ask if he meant me. If he wanted to be with me, but I was too afraid, too overwhelmed with too many emotions stirring inside of me. What if there was someone else…what if someone else had warmed his bed at night…
Dinner was over soon and Molly and Tensley said they’d be going out for a bit. Illya was asleep for now.
“Walk me to the door?” Wesley asked as I finished drying the last dish. Beau sat in the living room alone. “I wish I could stay longer, babe, but I have business to attend to.”
I chewed on the inside of my mouth and then nodded. I walked him to the door in silence, and just as I went to open it, Wesley gripped my arm and pulled me forward, planting a kiss on my open mouth.
His wet tongue tried to part my mouth farther, but I pushed him back, gently.
He panted, staring at me in confusion.
“I’m not—I don’t see you that way, Wesley,” I said, shaking my head, awkwardly.
He frowned at that. “Because of him?” His tone turned harsh. “I can protect you, provide for you. He’s a disgraceful beast destroying everything in his path. Including you. Anyone with a damn brain would see he was talking bullshit over dinner. He hasn’t changed. That was all an act.”
His words stabbed me, and I glared at him. “He has changed. He’s never been like that before.”
His eyes narrowed. “He may be a Knight, but he’s a fucking—”
Before he could finish, I slapped him, right across his cheek, the noise echoing through the open foyer.
He breathed out heavily and clenched his fist. Instant regret filled my body.
“Very well, then.” Wesley opened the door and marched through it.
My chest tightened as I moved back to the staircase. I needed to be alone. I needed to sort my head out. When I walked past the living room, Beau stood, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
And I didn’t like the look he gave me.
One of pure passion and affection.
“Beau,” I whispered as he walked toward me. “Beau.”
Saying his name only strengthened his will and I knew as soon as he touched me, I wouldn’t be able to resist.
His hands cradled my cheeks and he dove, taking my mouth in a bruising, brutal kiss.
Of all the emotions pent up inside of him.
I tasted his hunger, his remorse, his fear, and sadness.
But mostly, his affection.
So soft and silky and warm.
So different from the darkness I had tasted before in him.
“Beau,” I whispered, between the kisses. “Don’t stop.”
I gasped into his kiss, his fingers moving down to grip my ass. He pulled me up, my legs automatically wrapping around his hips.
“You’ve ruined me for any other woman,” he said in-between kisses. He moved, walking up the stairs and nudged open my door.
The darkness welcomed us, and he laid me down on the silky sheets.
Then he stood before me, tugging off his belt and slowly, he lowered to his knees, his head bowed.
I sat up, afraid to speak, my fingers shaking as I reached his cheek, feeling his warm, tanned skin.
“I have sinned,” he whispered, his mouth moving against my fingers as I ghosted them over his pouty lips. “A thousand times I have sinned. But this sin—this sin between us, Alexandra, is the only sin I ever committed for the right reasons.” His dark eyes gleamed in the night, so soft and alluring it tugged at my heart. “I’ll spend the rest of my life sinning if it means I have you, you make this sinner want to kneel for you.”
Tears fell down my cheeks and I couldn’t hide the hiccups that followed. I leaned down and kissed him—softly, tenderly—as one does to a beast that just damned himself.
“Sin for me then,” I gasped, and he stood, lowering himself over me. Our clothes ripped off, our bodies emerged, our sins colliding in the warm darkness.
I wanted to be with him. The highs, the lows. Everything in between.
My fingers ran through his thick dark hair and I fell down with him following after. Spinning, tipsy and drunk off his bruising and healing kisses. His hands on me, so strong and his mouth so skilled, artfully mapping my sensitive spots where my toes curled and my back arched, surrendering to him.
He paused, pressing his forehead to mine and breathing hard out through his nose. “Tell me to stop.” Another hard breath moved my hair around and I stared up at his brows bent together, a look of concentration. When his eyes met mine, they were dangerous, thirsty, ravenous. “Alexandra, I want to earn your trust back—”
I slanted my mouth against his, catching the sacred words with a sweep of my tongue. Just tasting his soul told me everything about him. All his wishes, all his wants, and desires, and they were all me. He wanted to love me, he wanted to spend the rest of our lives showing me I would never feel alone or sad. He slid his hands under my blouse and gripped my waist, moving up until his fingers brushed my lacy bra.
Once his mouth found my neck, he bit the tender flesh there and sucked it between his teeth, a moan slipping through my lips. Chills broke out on my skin as he devoured it, ruining me as I wanted.
He hooked his fingers under my bra and exposed my breasts, his large hands palming first gently, then savagely.
I kissed him back, bleeding into his mouth, bleeding my entire being into him. To become strong as one again, but still powerful as individuals.
He slid one finger along my slit and then entered me slowly with his single digit, teasing, testing. He worked carefully, going deeper and deeper, reaching my sensitive depths. Soon he positioned his hefty length and with slow steadiness of an expert, Beau filled me.
“I’m yours,” he said, low and throaty, before he ruined me.
And together we fell into a blissful hell.
Until I heard Illya crying, waking me from Beau’s warmth, his arms wrapped around me.
I carefully slid out from the bed, wrapping my robe around me and tiptoed into the hallway.
As I neared his nursery, I saw the door opened.
And someone was trying to hush him.
A male’s voice.
My heart froze as I looked inside.
To see Wesley holding Illya.
“Hello, little Lex,” came a voice from behind me. “It’s good to see you again.”