Finny
“Oh my God,” I’m still chanting when the bus door closes behind us.
Peck scowls at me. “Finny, it’s not like you’ve never seen a penis before.”
“I’ve never seen a great big penis in a position where it might be partially buried in your vagina,” I toss back.
She laughs. “Don’t tell Sam you saw his dick, okay? He’ll get a complex.”
“That man has nothing to be ashamed of, Peck. How the fuck do you fit all that up in there?”
She laughs so hard she snorts. “Well, it’s hard, but we make it work.”
I burst out laughing. I laugh so hard that it takes me a minute to calm down.
“Well, I can never un-see that, just so you know.”
She shrugs. “His dick is a magical thing. I’m not ashamed.” She narrows her eyes at me. “So, what did you want?”
I play with a loose string on my sleeve, trying to compose my thoughts. “I don’t think I want to sleep with him.”
She shrugs. “So don’t.”
“Do you think he’d mind?” I nibble on my lower lip.
“Who cares if he minds, Finny?” she asks me softly. “Are you worried that all he wants is sex?”
I take a deep breath. “No, I’m worried that’s not all he wants. I’d know what to do with him if he just wanted sex.”
“Oh,” she breathes. “So that’s it. You really like him.”
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“What do you like most about him?”
“He knows about my crazy mother and he doesn’t seem to care. He also knows about all my one-nighters. And he still likes me. At least I think he likes me. Do you think he likes me?”
“I think he likes you a lot,” she says softly. “Oh, Finny…” She starts to blink frantically.
“Are you crying? Seriously?” I offer her my sleeve and she wipes her eyes on it.
“I can’t help it. You’re falling in love.”
I contradict her quickly. “No, I’m not.”
She gives me an incredulous look.
“I’m really not,” I rush to tell her.
“Finny, you’re acting like a total girl,” she says softly.
“Is this what girls do?” I bite my fingernail while I wait for her answer.
“This is what people do, dummy. They question relationships when they’re real. You’re having a real relationship for the first time ever.” She sniffles. “I’m so happy for you.”
“So, do you think Sam could keep his dick in his pants from here on out?” I ask her, trying to ease some of the tension that’s hanging around us.
She lifts her shoulders. “Maybe. I’ll file the request for you.”
“So just how big is your vagina?”
“Big enough,” she says on an exaggerated huff.
“Well, that was apparent.”
She laughs. “Fuck you, Finny.”
“I’d return the sentiment, but Sam already did. I had ringside seats.”
She giggles and turns to go back into the bus. She grabs a piece of pizza and slides into the booth seat next to Sam. I scoot in next to Tag and do the same. I lay my hand on his thigh and give it a squeeze. His free hand immediately covers mine and holds it tight. I look up at him to find him smiling down at me.
“So, Sam,” Tag says, clearing his throat.
Sam looks up. “What?”
“How much did that piercing hurt?” He says it with a straight face.
But I can’t control my laughter. I laugh so hard I choke on a piece of sausage and Tag has to pound me on the back.
“Dude, I could hook you up with a piercing,” Sam says. “I’m a certified hole puncher at the tattoo shop.”
“I am not letting you put any holes in my dick.”
I cover my mouth to keep from laughing out loud. “Would you let me do it?” I ask him. I don’t even know where that came from. Oh, shit.
He stares into my eyes. “I’d let you do just about anything you wanted to do, Finny,” he says. He brushes a lock of hair back from my eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’d never hurt me on purpose.”
“I wouldn’t,” I say.
Sam makes a gagging noise from his side of the table and Peck elbows him in the side. “What?”
“Stop giving them a hard time,” she scolds. “I think it’s sweet.”
Peck makes Sam get up, and says, “I’m going to feed Sammy one last time before we go to sleep.”
Sam wipes his mouth. “I’ll go with you.”
“Should I go and feed Benji?” Tag asks.
Sam points to Peck’s boobs. “Dude, she’s got the bottles.”
“Oh,” Tag says, his face turning red. “Forgot about that.”
“Marta will take care of Benji,” Peck assures him. “I’ll look in on him while I’m there if you want.”
Tag nods. “That would be great. Thanks.”
They leave, and Tag wraps his palm around the back of my neck and pulls me to him so he can kiss me. “So, how long do you think they’ll be gone?”
“Not that long. Sammy eats quick.” I open my mouth when he teases my lips with his tongue and I sigh into his mouth. He has me breathless in seconds. “I had better get to bed,” I say, but my heart is racing.
He looks toward the tiny bunk beds in the back of the bus. They’re no bigger than coffins.
“Do you want the top or the bottom?” I ask.
“Why, Finny, did you just proposition me?” He lays a hand on his chest and pretends to be shocked.
I shake my head and grin. “No, I just wanted to know which bed I should crawl into.”
“Mine,” he says quickly.
My heart thuds. “I don’t think so.”
“Fine. You go pick one, and I’ll crawl in with you.” He starts to clean up the pizza while I go wash off my makeup, brush my teeth, and brush out my hair.
I climb into the bottom bunk and pull the privacy curtain behind me. “Good night, Tag,” I call out.
The curtain shifts and I see his head appear. “Can I come in?” he asks. He waits in the opening for me to decide.
“I’ve never…”
“I know,” he says softly. “I get it.” He looks at me a beat too long and I have to look away. There’s so much want in his eyes that I don’t know what to do with it all. “Can I come in?”
I nod and he pulls back. I hear his jeans rustle as he slips them off, and then he goes and brushes his teeth. He comes back to the bed and climbs in beside me. There’s barely enough room for one, much less two. He bangs his head on the roof. “Ouch,” he cries.
I roll onto my side, trying to make more room for him, but he’s a big guy. “I don’t think you’ll fit,” I tell him on a silly, frantic giggle.
“I’ll fit. I promise.” He wiggles until he’s flat on his back and then he lifts an arm and draws me in to his side. He points to the spot where his shoulder meets his arm. “Your head, it goes here.”
I remember when we had sex and I told him where his dick went. “Okay,” I say, and I settle into the spot, rooting around until I find the perfect place to rest my face. “I’m scared,” I whisper. “I’ve never done this before.” My heart is pounding and my skin is clammy.
He kisses my forehead, his lips lingering for a beat too long. “I won’t hurt you, Finny,” he whispers.
He grabs my leg and pulls it across his lap, and I can feel the ridge of his dick. He’s hard. “Did you want to–” I start to ask.
But he shushes me. “I’m doing exactly what I want to do.”
He holds me close until my shivers stop and my heart slows its frantic pace. I melt against him and close my eyes.
“I’ve never done this before. I might be bad at it,” I whisper in the darkness.
“You’re definitely not bad at it.”
After a few minutes, I start to yawn. “Hey, Tag,” I whisper.
“Hey, Finny,” he whispers back.
“You’re really good at this,” I tell him.
“It’s all you, Finny,” he says. “All you.”