Finch
It has been two months since he snuck out like a thief in the night. Two months since he fucked me and then fucked me over. And he had the nerve to show up with a child. I do not like babies, not even babies that are related to two of my favorite people. And particularly not a baby that belongs to him.
Star shoves it into my arms and I hold it out in front of my chest with my arms extended, trying to keep it as far from me as possible while still supporting its head. It squirms, its little feet flailing as it scrunches its face up.
Star lays her head on my shoulder and gazes at it like it’s the best thing she has ever seen. She looks at our sister Peck’s baby the same way. Star lays a hand on her own pregnant belly and I throw up a little in my mouth. I try to hand it back to its father, but he’s talking with Star’s new husband Josh and doesn’t even notice my struggle with his demon spawn.
“It’s going to throw up on me, isn’t it?” I ask. I look everywhere but at it. It lets out a wail and its father finally looks over.
Benjamin “Tag” Taggert Jr. has the same scowl on his face as his offspring. He takes the baby from me and pulls it into his chest. “Did the mean little woman refuse to hold you?” he says, baby-talking at it. His eyes meet mine and I look away. He nestles the baby in the crook of his arm and sticks a bottle into its mouth. The kid shuts up immediately. Thank God.
“I didn’t refuse,” I mumble. I turn and whisper to Star, “Did he just call me little?” She rolls her eyes. I have to fight this with humor. If I don’t, I’ll let my emotions take over and I’ll slap his face or kick him in the nuts or do something equally as stupid.
He laughs. “He won’t bite you. He doesn’t even have teeth yet.”
“She doesn’t like babies,” Wren tosses out. She laughs and her brother rolls his eyes.
“How could you not like babies?” he asks. “They’re a gift from God.”
I snort. I can’t help it. Star gives me a look and I murmur, “Sorry.”
I know her brother wants everyone to think he’s religious. That he believes in God and blessings and prayer and divine intervention and all that bullshit. But he fucked me senseless and did crazy things to my pussy for quite some time, so I know him for the fraud he is.
Star got married today. Tag showed up out of nowhere with a baby in a carrier, and was here to watch Star get married. Star permitted it. I’m not sure I would have been so generous, considering how he took off two months ago with fifty thousand dollars of Wren’s money.
“So, where are you guys staying?” Star asks him.
He glances nervously around. “I’m not sure yet.”
“Well, you won’t have any trouble finding a hotel, since Wren gave you all that money,” I toss out.
He flinches. “Of course,” he mumbles.
Alarm bells go off in my head. “Dude, you spent fifty thousand dollars?”
Star heaves a sigh. “Not now, Finny,” she says.
“I’ll explain everything to you,” he rushes to say, speaking directly to Wren and Star. “I promise.”
Star smiles at him. “Later.”
He nods and looks relieved. “Of course.” His eyes meet mine again and I look away, breaking contact.
Star threads her fingers through Josh’s and says, “Your baby wants a piece of cake.” She bats her lashes at him. She’s barely six weeks pregnant, but she’s already milking the baby thing.
Josh laughs. “I can take a hint. Anybody else?” He looks around the group. We’re all sitting at a table at Star and Josh’s reception, taking up space while people mill around us. Star and Josh got tossed in the fountain a few minutes ago, so they had to go and change clothes really quickly. Star came back looking more disheveled than when she left, and Josh had a shit-eating grin on his face.
Somebody got lucky, and it wasn’t me.
“I’ll take a piece,” Wren says. Lark raises her hand, too. She’s wearing elbow-length gloves as usual. Pink, to match her dress.
“Me too,” I say.
Josh wheels away and Star watches him with longing in her eyes. I pat her on the shoulder. “He’ll be right back. I promise.” I wrap my hands around my mouth. “With cake!” I whisper-yell.
She laughs.
“You’re happy?” Tag suddenly asks her. “Really happy?”
Star nods. “Beyond happy.” She has a wistful smile on her face.
“Good.”
Star props her elbow on the table and sets her chin in her palm. She nods toward the baby. “Was he what you needed the money for?”
Tag nods. “He was.”
“Do you need any more?” she asks.
I choke on my own spit. “Sorry,” I gasp out as Wren pounds me on the back.
“No, I took care of everything I needed to take care of. Thank you. I’d offer to pay you back, but I don’t have a job yet.” His cheeks grow rosy. Is he embarrassed?
Wren shrugs. “It’s not like we’ll miss it.”
He laughs. “Still, I don’t want to be a burden.”
Then he should seriously think about going home. He’s breathing my air. That’s a burden all by itself.
“Where’s its mother?” I demand.
“I’m…not sure.” He looks down at his son. “I wish I knew.” He heaves a sigh.
“You’ll come home with us tonight,” Wren suddenly says. “Star’s room is still empty. And so is Peck’s. We have plenty of space.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t take advantage.” But hope blooms in his eyes. I can see it. I wonder if he knows that. I wonder if he cares.
He can’t take advantage? Like running off with fifty thousand dollars while his dick was still wet from being inside me wasn’t enough?
“Hello?” I cry. “Perhaps you should ask the other people who live there?” I point to myself. My heart is rattling in my chest like a ping-pong ball in a glass. Lark, Wren, and I share an apartment. I don’t think we need more roommates.
Particularly not one who fucked my brains out. Particularly not one who reached deeper inside me than anyone ever has. Particularly not one who scares me.
“He’s our brother,” Star scolds. “It’s not up for discussion.”
“Then you should take him home with you.”
Star rolls her eyes. “I’m on my honeymoon.” She leans close to me and whispers in my ear. “And I’m pretty sure Josh got some sex furniture for me for the honeymoon, and I want to try it out.”
“Ewww.” I groan. “TMI, Star.”
She laughs and looks at Tag. “She’ll be nice. I promise.” She gives me an evil glare. “Won’t you, Finny?”
Fuck no, I won’t be nice. “No promises.” I jerk my thumb toward the baby. “Is he bringing that with him?”
Tag laughs. “I don’t go anywhere without him.” His gaze locks with mine.
The table goes quiet, because there’s force and conviction behind his words.
A man comes up and stops by my shoulder. “Care to dance?” he asks.
I don’t know him, but he’s handsome and he’s got enough balls to ask. I might even fuck him. I’ve experienced a bit of a dry spell since that night with Tag. It’s like my vagina is broken. I look at this guy’s face.
Wait. Did I already fuck him? They all blur together after a while. Who knows? “Love to,” I say. I get up and follow him onto the dance floor. My night is suddenly looking like it might take a turn for the better.
He pulls me way too close way too quickly. I stiffen and he doesn’t take the hint.
“You don’t remember me, do you?” he asks, his warm breath moving over my ear.
Now I remember him. I might forget their names and their faces, but I never forget the way they smell. This one smells like body spray and onions.
“I ate you out for about an hour that night,” he says. He grins like it’s a good thing. Only it wasn’t. It lasted for an hour because he was so fucking bad at it.
I grit my teeth. “I remember.”
“You didn’t return my calls.”
I’d told him I didn’t want his number and I didn’t give him mine. He must have gotten it from someone else.
“I had hoped to hear from you,” he goes on to say. He jostles me in his arms like he’s hoping to provoke a response.
“I’m not looking for a relationship,” I say gently. Then I steel my shoulders and look into his eyes. “And you’re not really my type.”
He flinches. “I was your type when I was fucking you.”
I shake my head. “Not really. You were just there.”
He stops swaying to the rhythm of the band. “I was an easy fuck?” His voice pitches on the end of his comment, and people turn to look at us.
It really wasn’t that easy, because I had to pretend I liked him while I taught him how to navigate the nether-regions. I don’t think he knew what a clit was before that night. “You’re welcome,” I say flippantly.
He steps back and snorts out a crazy sound. It’s not a laugh, and it reminds me of a camel I petted once at the zoo. If he spits at me too…
“Seriously?” he says, his voice getting louder. “You used me?”
“You’re welcome?” I say again, but this time I end it in a question.
Hey, I know some guys are happy to get to bag a Zero. This guy apparently is looking for more than one night with the band’s bass guitarist.
“You’re pretty fucked up. You know that?”
Tell me something I don’t know. I grin at him. “Thanks.” I like my fucked-up life. I don’t particularly need for him to like it too.
“Everything okay?” a deep voice asks from over my shoulder.
I turn and find Tag standing behind me. He must have been dancing with Lark because she’s fidgeting right beside him.
“You okay, Finny?” Lark asks.
“How does it feel knowing what a whore she is?” the guy bites out. He smirks. “Or are you just next in line?” he asks Tag.
Tag stiffens, and I think he’s going to question me about this guy. But he doesn’t. All of his attention is on the douchebag. “Have a little respect, man,” he says quietly. I watch his hands as he flexes them, balling and releasing his fists.
“Fuck respect,” the douchebag snaps.
Tag adjusts his suit coat. “I’d appreciate it if you’d watch your language. There’s no need for profanity.”
“Fuck your prof–” He stops talking. Mainly because Tag just punched him on the jaw. His head snaps back and he flinches. It happened so fast that I didn’t even see it. I just see his reaction.
“I said watch your language around the ladies.” Tag scratches the stubble on his chin.
“Lady? Lady my a–” Again his head snaps back. This time he starts to bleed, his nose dripping blood down over his lips.
Tag reaches into his pocket for a handkerchief and jams it under the man’s nose. “You need some help finding the exit?” he asks quietly, leaning toward him.
The douche shakes his head. “No,” he mumbles, but it’s nasally.
“You should apologize to the lady,” Tag says. He steps back so the guy can face me.
I hold up my hands to wave the apology off. “That’s really not necess–”
“Yes, it is,” Tag bites out. He lifts a brow in the man’s direction.
“Sorry,” the man murmurs around his handkerchief.
“Sorry for…” Tag waits with an expectant look.
He looks up at Tag with a question in his gaze. He has no idea what he’s supposed to be sorry for.
Tag rolls his hand in the air. “Sorry for offending the lady…” He waits expectantly.
“I’m sorry I offended you.”
Tag smiles and claps him on the shoulder. “Have a good night,” he says.
The man walks away. I see the Reeds meet him at the edge of the dance floor to escort him to the exit. Now I remember how they know him. He’s a client of theirs. Oops.
I look up and realize that everyone on the dance floor is watching us. The band starts to play again. Tag holds a hand out to me. “Do me the honor?” he says.
“Close your mouth,” Lark whispers fiercely. I clamp my jaw shut. She puts a hand in the center of my back and pushes me toward Tag. I stumble into him and he puts a hand on my hip. He takes my other hand in his and starts to lead me in a dance. Lark goes willingly with someone else to dance.
He bends down to look into my eyes. “You okay?”
“I’m fine.” Aside from the fact that I can’t breathe. The only man who has ever taken up for me like that is Emilio, my adoptive father. He would go to the ends of the earth, but he’s the only man who ever has. “Why did you do that?” I ask.
“Do what?” He looks down at me. It’s odd, how much of his attention I have. Almost disconcerting.
“Why did you hit him?”
His broad shoulders shift in a tiny shrug. “He was being rude.”
“Because he called me a whore?”
He winces and I know I struck a nerve. “His language was inappropriate. I just helped him realize it.”
“So someone referring to me as a whore offends you?” I bite back my grin when I see him flinch again.
“It wasn’t necessary to get his point across.” He spins me away from him and then brings me back to him. The man has some serious moves, that’s for sure.
“Oh.”
“You’re better than that,” he says quietly. “Don’t let people speak to you like you’re less than you are.”
My heart skips. I wasn’t enough, apparently, to make him stick around. “What?”
“You’re valuable. Worthy. Loveable. Everyone is valuable. Worthy of respect.”
I snort. I so do not want to be loveable. I love my family, but I don’t love anyone else. I can’t. Love makes you vulnerable. It gives people the power to hurt you.
Like him.
“You’re pretty darn cute too,” he says with a grin.
“Did you seriously just call me cute?” I laugh. I can’t help it. “And you said darn.”
“Curse words aren’t always necessary to get the point across.”
“You afraid you’re going to go to hell?” I ask on a laugh. Drop a few F-bombs and get the key to the fiery gates.
“I used to be,” he says. “Now I’m not so sure.”
I realize how stiff he is in my arms. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I shouldn’t have teased you.”
I look up at him. He has dark hair that falls over his forehead in a wave. His eyes are almost black in the waning light, and they’re staring directly into mine. I know they’re brown, but right now they’re dark. And hot.
“I forgive you,” he says with a small smile.
“Next time, I’ll just tease you about that cow lick.” I point up toward his hair.
He chuckles loudly and throws his head back. I watch him, wondering at a man who can laugh with no restraint.
“We need to talk,” he says next to my ear. A delicious shiver crawls up my spine.
“No, we don’t.” I hold tightly to his hand, which is wrapped around mine.
He holds me tighter. “Yes, we do.”
“What did you do with the rugrat?” I ask when I suddenly remember his son.
He laughs. “Your mother took him and told me to go and dance. She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“She usually doesn’t,” I murmur. I look over and find her cuddling the kid while she feeds him a bottle. She winks at me.
“Your family is pretty fabulous.”
“Yeah, they are,” I agree. My family is awesome.
“You’re lucky,” he says, his voice getting husky. “Not everyone is that lucky.”
“You were adopted by an uncle, right?” I vaguely remember the story. The uncle didn’t want his sisters, so Tag went there alone.
“Yes.” He’s stiff as a board now.
“Then you were lucky too.”
He doesn’t say anything.
“So you’re going home with us?” I wince when I realize how that sounded. “I mean,” I stumble to say, “I mean you’re going to use Star’s old room again?”
He nods. “For tonight, at least.” He looks down at me. “You don’t mind, do you?”
“As long as you promise not to pee on the toilet seat or leave the seat up.”
“I’ll do my best.” He chuckles. “Can you survive my presence for a day or two?”
I shrug. “I’ll try. It’ll be difficult.”
“Thank you for your sacrifice.” He laughs again. It’s a warm, clean chuckle and my insides melt. He speaks again and it’s right by my ear. “I’m sorry if my leaving hurt you. I had to take care of something, and I couldn’t explain it at the time. But now I want to tell you about it. Can I?” He waits expectantly.
“Maybe…”
The music stops and he lifts my hand to his lips. He places a tender kiss across the backs of my knuckles, and my belly flips. “Thank you for the dance,” he says, his lips lingering over my skin, his breath warm and humid.
“Thank you for punching the douchebag in the face.”
“You’re welcome.” He tangles his fingers in mine and leads me back to my parents. Then he takes Wren to go and dance.
I watch him as he laughs with her, and his cheeks get rosy and I imagine she’s teasing him about hitting the guy. But then he looks in my direction and his eyes meet mine. She’s teasing him about me if he’s searching me out like that. He winks at me, and my heart betrays me with a little flip. What the fuck is that about?
Another man comes up and asks me to dance. I get up and say quietly to him, “Did I fuck you too and just don’t remember it?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet,” he says with a grin.
I laugh and let him lead me out onto the dance floor. But I can feel Tag’s eyes on me and I don’t even unbutton the top button of the guy’s shirt. I don’t run my fingertips beneath his collar. I don’t accidentally graze his dick. I do nothing. Because Tag is watching me, and for some reason I feel funny about having him see me put the moves on some random guy. Just in this moment. Just for this second.
The thought irritates me, because I can do whatever I want with my body. It’s mine and I don’t have to let anyone judge me. Not a single soul.
I’m beyond irritated when the dance is over, because I could have taken this one home with me. Tag is already messing with my game.
I have to fix that. Starting immediately.