By the time I headed back into Savannah it was starting to get dark. It was also starting to drizzle.

Anyone who’s from the south knows this is a terrible thing to happen. Nothing could stir panic in the hearts of Southerners like ice on the roads. Or ice anywhere, really. We weren’t equipped to deal with it. We didn’t have snow tires, extra blankets in our cars, or kitty litter in the trunk. We just gripped the wheel as tight as possible and screamed as we slid across the highway. I was grateful Nick wasn’t working traffic.

By the time I got into the heart of historic Savannah, there was already a thin layer of ice on the roads and the sand trucks were out. From the looks of things, I’d be sleeping at the office tonight.

I found street parking easily when I got to Le Couture, mostly because no one else was insane enough to try wedding dresses on in an ice storm.

I’d barely turned off the ignition when Rosemarie ran out the front of the bridal shop. It took me a minute for my eyes to adjust because she was swathed in hot-pink satin, and it was hiked up to her knees so it didn’t drag on the ground.

“Are you going to prom in 1988?” I asked. “Are we having a theme wedding?”

“Hurry,” she said, skidding to a halt on the sidewalk. “It’s a good thing you’re early. They’re going to close soon on account of the weather. There’s dresses flying everywhere in there, and everyone is naked. I think I’ve lost three pounds since we started. I’m sweating like a pig.”

“Not good for satin,” I said.

She was holding the door open for me. Le Couture kept the front door locked, and only people with appointments were buzzed inside. The downstairs was just a small reception area with a sleek black counter, three black leather chairs, and a door that led back into an employees-only area.

I followed Rosemarie up white carpeted stairs to the second level and gasped at all the gowns. This was nothing like the first time, when I’d bought a wedding dress at the Bridal Barn. These were dresses. There were mirrors and a little stage area to twirl in. And racks of white dresses on one side and evening gowns on the other side for the wedding party.

There was a seating area, almost like a gallery for people to watch the spectacle, and sitting at opposite ends of the U-shaped black leather couch were Aunt Scarlet and Nina Dempsey.

It had been a while since I’d seen Nina. Actually, we’d only ever met once, and it wasn’t on the best of terms since her husband tried to hit on me. She was dressed in a stiff navy winter suit with an ice blue shell, and she wore the pearls she never seemed to leave home without. I wondered if she slept in them.

Aunt Scarlet faced her, not blinking, and she’d undressed down to a hot-pink bra and panties. I’d spent a week with Scarlet at a nudist colony, so I figured Nina was probably in shock. Age and gravity hadn’t been kind to Scarlet, despite the fact she’d had the occasional nip, tuck, lift, and implant through the years. She mostly looked like a sack of potatoes wrapped in liver-spotted skin.

They each held a glass of champagne.

Kate was standing behind them in a lovely powder-blue gown that gathered at one shoulder. She was holding up a bottle of champagne and an already full glass. “I think you’re going to need this.”

I didn’t argue. I just took the glass and drained it. And then I directed my next words to Kate.

“This is supposed to be a simple wedding for close friends and family only. I want simple. Simple dress, simple everything. I just want to get married.”

“You should have thought of that before you put an open invitation in the newspaper, young lady,” Nina said. “The church only holds four hundred people. And of course, those are all your people. I had to send invitations by courier so Nick’s side of the family would even know there was a wedding at all. Disgraceful.”

“Oh, put a cork in it, Nina,” Scarlet said. “You did no such thing. I’m good friends with your father-in-law and he said you sent out a mass email. Have another glass of champagne. Your son is damned lucky to marry my grand-niece. She’s a resourceful girl, and your son better treat her right or he might find himself dangling off a balcony like my husband.”

“Ridiculous,” Nina said. “Everyone knows Albert died choking on a piece of bread. He probably did it on purpose after being married to you.”

Scarlet gasped, and Kate shifted her weight slightly. I was wondering if she was planning to knock both of their heads together.

“You bitch,” Scarlet said. “For your information, I was talking about Francesco. He was Italian. Very passionate. Fighting and making love. It was all the same. But you wouldn’t know about passion. It’s hard to do anything with a block of ice.”

This time it was Nina’s turn to gasp, and she came to her feet, clutching her pearls. Scarlet hopped up from her chair, mad as a hornet—all five feet of her—the extensions in her ponytail making her head fall back on her shoulders.

“I get the feeling y’all have known each other a while,” Rosemarie said from behind me.

I’d completely forgotten about Rosemarie. She’d gone back into the changing room, and gone was the hot-pink satin prom dress and in its place was a canary-yellow toga of the same material. She looked like a shiny banana.

“Oh, sure,” Scarlet said, waving the hand with the champagne glass in it so some splashed over the top. “That dress is terrible, by the way, Rosie. You look like one of those Day-Glo condoms. Me and Nina go way back. Had relations with her daddy back in the sixties.” She shrugged. “I regret that one. It was the ’shrooms. She gets the ice block routine honest is all I can say.”

Nina was red in the face and cocking her hand back to punch Scarlet when there was a zzzzz sound, and both of them dropped to the ground. Kate stood behind them unapologetically with two stun guns.

“I brought two just in case,” she said.

“Good call,” I told her. “You think Scarlet’s too old for that?”

“Nah,” Kate said. “She’s breathing. Let’s move them out of the way, so we can get finished with this.”

“You must’ve had a hell of a day in court,” I said.

“Don’t ask,” Kate answered.

The sales girl made a squeak and we all turned to stare at her. She looked terrified.

“We apologize,” Rosemarie said. “They’ll both be splitting the cost of everything we purchase here. Do you have more champagne?”

Before I knew what was happening I was stripped down to my panties and standing on the little platform in front of the three floor-to-ceiling mirrors. The champagne had taken away my need for modesty, and the fact that I should be laying off things like cinnamon rolls, peach pie, and champagne.

“Damn, girl,” Rosemarie said. “How many cinnamon rolls did you have this morning?”

“I will kill you,” I told her, giving her my death stare. “I’m under a lot of stress. This is stress weight.”

“My mom called today and said you had five pieces of pie at the Good Luck Café,” Kate said.

“Since when do you talk to your mother?” I asked. “And I didn’t have five pieces of pie. I had two pieces.”

“There’s a lot of defensiveness in your tone,” Kate said. “Maybe it has something to do with the fact you were asking about mysterious people skulking about Whiskey Bayou.”

“Can’t I care about my community?” I asked, holding out my arms so the poor sales girl could measure me. “Wouldn’t you want to know if unsavory characters were roaming the streets in your neighborhood?”

“Yes, which is why I live in a gated community,” she said. “You’re acting strange. You know I’m going to get to the bottom of it. You’ve never been able to keep anything from me.”

“No one is keeping anything from you,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m just trying to get married. Y’all are supposed to be helping me do that.”

“You’re right,” Kate said. “But you’d better hurry up with the dress. I think I saw Scarlet move.”

The sales girls rushed back in with several dresses slung over her arm, and she began hanging them from the pegs on the wall. Another girl rolled in a cart with bridesmaids’ dresses on it and then ran back out again. I couldn’t say I blamed her.

“What about Phoebe?” Kate asked. “Why isn’t she a bridesmaid?”

“I asked her,” I said, eyeing the first dress the girl brought. It had a lot of lace and beads. Not simple. I shook my head at her and pointed to the one in the middle. “That one.” And then I turned back to Kate who had also had enough champagne to strip down to nothing.

“What’d she say?” Kate asked.

“She said I was giving her a bad vibe, so she was going to pass. I pretty much expected a response like that. It’s similar to the one she gave me when I tried to get married the first time.”

Rosemarie hiccupped. “And look how that turned out. She was right. Maybe she’s got the sight. She seems like the type.” And then she flushed red and looked back and forth between me and Kate. “Sorry,” she said. “Champagne makes me very blunt. They should serve real drinks at places like this. This never happens with a Highball.”

I think I’d prefer champagne Rosemarie over “real drink” Rosemarie. Real drink Rosemarie had a tendency to make inappropriate sexual advances to everyone she passed. She also tended to dress like Bondage Barbie. There were many sides to Rosemarie.

I stepped into the gown, not really paying attention to myself as the sales girl tugged it up around me and started zipping and pinning. She’d turned me away from the mirrors, which I was secretly glad about because I was almost positive thinking about eating more peach pie had expanded my waistline.

“Have you had any luck with caterers for the reception?” Kate asked.

I was assuming she was talking to Rosemarie because I knew absolutely nothing about what was going on with the wedding.

“The little Italian place on Second can do it,” she said. “They’re taking care of everything and will get in and set up early Friday morning. They’ll have a buffet spread for two hundred people.”

“A buffet?” a voice said from the corner. It was like nails on a chalkboard.

I looked up in horror to see Nick’s mother roll to her hands and knees and slowly get up. She looked like the Bride of Frankenstein. Her hair looked like it’d been brushed with a hand mixer and her lipstick was smeared across her face.

“I’ll not have it,” she said. “This isn’t a Golden Corral. It’s the wedding of the grandson of a senator.”

“And me,” I added dryly, but she ignored me.

She held up her hands like she was seeing them for the first time, and then looked down at her mussed suit. “What happened to me?” Then she looked down at Scarlet, still prone on the floor.

“Ummm...” I said.

“She sucker-punched you,” Rosemarie said with a straight face. “Surprised us all. You were just standing there and it came out of nowhere.”

Nina looked down at Scarlet for a few more seconds and then kicked her in the side. The rest of us all gasped in sync.

“That woman’s the devil,” Nina said, and then she turned her laser beam eyes on me. “You’ve got some of that in you. If my son ends up shot or dangling from a balcony there is no corner of hell where I won’t find you. Do I make myself clear?”

I nodded.

“Good,” she said and then looked to the sales girl. “Grace, I don’t need a new gown after all. Apparently, I should go to the Goodwill and find some overalls to go along with the buffet.”

Nina made a grand exit and then everyone looked back over at Scarlet. She was starting to twitch.

“What do you think?” Grace asked, taking a step back from the little stage I was on.

I turned to look at myself in the mirror and gasped. The dress was beautiful. It was just a long column of soft white satin with a small train, but it was exactly what I wanted.

“I’ll take it,” I said. And then I looked down and saw the small tag pinned to the bottom hem of the dress. The dress cost more than I made in an entire year when I was teaching. I almost felt guilty for letting Nina and Aunt Scarlet pay for it, but when I thought about it, I figured it was kind of like getting hazard pay and I probably deserved it.

I twirled in front of the mirror a couple of times and let my mind replay the scene I’d just witnessed between Nina and Scarlet until something jogged my memory.

“Wait a second,” I said, and turned to Rosemarie. “You said they can cater for two hundred people?”

“Yep,” she said. “That’s the limit. They’re a family-owned restaurant and don’t have a huge staff. They’re closing down the restaurant just to do your wedding.”

I didn’t even bother to ask how much they were being paid to close down their restaurant on a Friday night.

“What are we going to do?” I asked. “Whoever put that stupid open invitation in the paper has made a mess of things. We might have a thousand people show up.”

“Especially since word is spreading about the open bar. Your wedding might be a good time for that intervention TV show to make an appearance. I didn’t realize there were so many booze hounds in Whiskey Bayou.”

“We can print a retraction in the paper,” Kate said. “Or maybe we can use the park. It’s right across the street. We can get a couple of food and drink trucks and it can be like a street party for your wedding. Only none of them will get to see the actual wedding until you and Nick ride off for your honeymoon.”

“That’s a great idea except for the fact that it’s two degrees outside,” I said.

Kate shrugged. “Anyone will show up for free liquor.”

“We’re not paying for an open bar for the entire town. That’s insane.”

“A little cold isn’t going to stop the biggest party of the year,” she insisted. “Think of the long-term investment you’re making. It’s not just you anymore. You’ve got to think of Nick too. People are fickle. What if Nick decides to run for office one day and the only thing people remember about him is that he kicked them all out of his wedding after issuing an open invitation. The damage is already done. Use it to your advantage.”

Kate threw me off guard. Did Nick want to run for a political office one day? He’d never mentioned it. And I’d never asked. I always thought of him as being a cop forever, but maybe he had goals and dreams bigger than he’d ever shared with me.

“I think I need to make a phone call,” I said, and stepped off the platform to get my cell phone.

I moved into one of the private dressing areas and called Nick. I had no idea if he would be able to pick up or not, but it seemed like these were all decisions we should’ve been making together.

“Hey,” he said when he answered.

“Oh, good,” I said, spotting the little couch in the dressing room. “I didn’t know if you’d be able to answer.” I laid out flat because it was easier to do that than sit down in the dress.

“I’m sitting in the little waiting area downstairs. The weather’s getting bad and I didn’t want you to have to drive home.”

“Oh,” I said. And then I wanted to burst into tears because it was such a Nick thing to do. “Have you been waiting long?”

“Nah, I had a patrolman drop me off, though it took a while for the lady to buzz me in. Apparently, I’d just missed my mother. Thank God.”

“Yeah, about that…” I said.

“Do I want to hear this?”

“Probably not, but this falls under the whole two becoming one thing, so if I have to suffer, so do you.”

He laughed a little, and I could picture him settling into the chair and getting comfortable. Nick was a guy’s guy. He’d grown up in wealth with every advantage, and he was movie star handsome, but everyone got along with Nick. As long as they were on the right side of the law.

“Would you mind so much if we just left everything and everyone we know and move somewhere else?”

“Sounds good to me,” he said, sounding so exhausted and fed up it made my heart hurt. “We could buy a tiki hut bar on some island and sleep in a hammock. It’s not like we need the money.”

“Wow,” I said. “I take it the case isn’t going well. You’ve never entertained my fantasies before.”

“Excuse me?” he asked.

“I mean outside the bedroom,” I clarified.

“That’s better,” he said and sighed. “I’m just tired. These people are so dirty. I know they did it. But they’re so smug they’re never going to get caught because they can tie up things with lawyers and red tape. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it. You put one away and fifty more criminals sprout up in their place.”

“Of course it’s worth it,” I said. “Think of what it would be like without you. You’ll get whoever’s behind this because I know you. There’s a family lying in the morgue right now who deserve justice, and you won’t stop until they get it.”

He sighed again. “Yeah. What happened with my mother?”

“She tried to punch Aunt Scarlet, so Kate tased them both.”

He barked out a laugh and said, “Oh, I’m really glad I missed her. She was probably mad as a wet cat.”

“We told her Scarlet sucker-punched her and knocked her out. She was more upset because we’re having an Italian buffet for the wedding reception. She said she was going to wear overalls.”

“Good God,” he said. “I’ve never seen my mother in pants. Why are we talking on the phone instead of in person?”

“Because I’m wearing my wedding dress and you’re not supposed to see me in it. Are you planning to run for office?”

“Not today, he said.

I guessed that was as good of an answer as any. “I was actually calling to ask about the budget for this whole thing.”

“Spend what you need to,” he said. “You’ve got access to the accounts.”

“No, you don’t understand.” And then I explained about the open invitation in the paper and how our wedding had turned into a street party for Whiskey Bayou, complete with food trucks.

“I guess it could be worse,” he said. “The open invitation could’ve gone out in the Savannah Morning News. If all the excitement is over and you’ve bought a dress, let’s go home. Spend what you need to. We’re only doing this once.”

I disconnected and realized I was crying. How’d I get so lucky?