CHAPTER 23
Austin stared up at his ceiling. Damn, what had made him think he’d get any sleep tonight? All he could think about was Sara in the next room. He was worried she might need something, like ice or ibuprofen, and she wouldn’t be able to get it. That she was lying there suffering in silence so she wouldn’t disturb the kids. Dozens of scenarios were taunting him, playing through his mind on a non-stop reel. The knowledge she was so close and yet still out of reach. It was torturing him.
Since leaving her room after it had become clear he was not helping get the kids to sleep, he’d spent the hours—or minutes? Tough to tell—tossing and turning. He wanted to be with her, make sure she was okay, and kiss her. Yeah, he seriously needed to kiss her.
A small tap-tap-tap sound came softly on the door, and he really wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not. But, shit, he wasn’t taking any chances. He jumped up, his former sniper reflexes in full effect, and crossed the room in a few quick steps. He pulled the door open, already breathing hard in anticipation.
There stood Sara, her hand still raised to knock again, her eyes wide, her mouth open in a surprised O at the force with which he’d yanked the door back, the baby monitor in her hand.
“Kids asleep?” he asked.
“Yep,” she confirmed.
Not being able to help himself, he slid his arm around her waist and lifted her feet off the ground. He pulled her firmly into the room and against his chest, crushing his mouth to hers in a passionate kiss as he softly closed the door behind them.
“Hi, beautiful,” he rasped between kisses. “I missed you.”
“Hi.” She tangled her fingers in his hair and wrapped her legs around him. “Ankle’s fine, don’t worry.”
The fact she knew that’s what he was thinking made him chuckle. He’d never laughed during sex before. Never enjoyed the playfulness and cleverness of his partner. Sara was so different, such a damn revelation. He found her mind, and her heart, every bit as sexy as he found her body.
He slid his hands down her sides until he was cupping her firm ass, and began kneading her rounded flesh. She pressed her mouth to his and roamed her hands over his back. As she did, she made little noises of desperation, moans and whimpers of pleasure and abandon, and they turned him on even further.
His cock hardened in his boxer briefs, and he wanted nothing more than to strip those off, get her out of the pajama shorts and tank top she was wearing, slip under the covers together, fully naked, and worship her body until the sun came up.
He carried her over to the bed and laid her down gently.
“Are you sure your ankle’s okay?” He caressed her cheek and pushed her hair back from her face as he stood, like an unspoken apology.
“Yes. It’s fine,” she assured him and began pulling off her tank top.
Not wanting to miss the show, he watched as he pushed his boxers down. Just like he did every time he saw them, he was in awe at the beauty of her breasts. Every single time he saw them, it was just like the first time. Every time doing anything with her was like the first time. It was inexplicable, but that was part of the wonder of Sara. All of the amazement and wonder he felt when he looked at her, talked with her, kissed her, and touched her—it was all there, every time. It didn’t fade. In fact, if anything, it grew.
“Damn, all those years payed off. You are truly perfection,” he growled softly, reverently.
“Even with the bum ankle?” she teased.
There was that wit again. Just another example of her brain being every bit as sexy as her body was.
“Brat.” He grinned, hooked his thumbs into the waistband of her pajama shorts, and pulled both them and her panties down over her legs in one swift movement that made her gasp.
He looked up into her eyes and grinned wickedly. “Now you’re completely at my mercy,” he joked in an overly exaggerated seductive tone of voice.
Her eyes darkening with hunger, she replied, “That’s exactly where I want to be.”
Her words sent erotic shockwaves rocketing through him that hardened his dick even more than before. He pulled aside the covers next to her and crawled in, pulling her in after him and wrapping her silky, naked flesh up in his embrace.
He planted soft kisses along the tender flesh of her neck and behind her ear as his hands roamed over her hot skin. Her smooth, flat belly. The graceful flair of her hips. Her long, tapered legs. Her tight, firm backside. All of these gorgeous parts of her were like putty under his fingertips.
He loved hearing her moans grow more and more desperate and breathless as he explored her flesh. It let him know his kisses and his touch we’re having the desired effect—they were turning her on.
If he could make her feel even a fraction of the pleasure he felt lying here next to her, touching her, he’d consider it mission accomplished. He didn’t know if that was possible. The pleasure he felt in that moment defied logic, or even reality. But he was damn sure going to make it his life’s work to achieve that goal.
He sprinkled kisses farther and farther down her neck until he’d reached her collarbone. He put his tongue out and traced hot, wet curlicues down her chest until he reached the top of her breast. He paused there, trailing gentle kisses all along her sweet, beautiful chest as he caressed her stomach and sides, building up the anticipation.
Then he slid his hands to the bottom curves of her full breasts and cupped their firm softness in his palms. He squeezed them gently, loving the way they felt—so heavy and substantial, yet still completely feminine in his hands.
The squeezing motion made her nipples, which had already been at stiff attention, stand out even more from her dewy, pink flesh. He couldn’t resist those tempting nubs any longer. Lowering his head, he began to hungrily devour them one by one. He made sure to spread the attention equally between the two, maximizing the pleasure he gave to each.
He swirled his tongue around each in turn, reveling in the way they grew even stiffer and insistent in his mouth. He suckled them and then flattened his tongue against her sensitive tips.
Her skin jumped with each jolt of pleasure he knew his attention was sending through her body, and he felt an answering shock of arousal tear through him each and every time.
She traveled her hands up and down his back and shoulders as he nipped, licked, and sucked her nipples. The sweet feeling of her soft touch on his skin reminded him of how vulnerable she was in spite of her strength and stoked the fire he felt inside—the one that fueled his instinct to shelter her and protect her. To keep her close and never let anything happen to her. To take care of her.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, urging him to go even longer, harder, and faster. Everything about her—body, mind, and spirit—inspired him to be better. To do more and be more. To quote the old Jack Nicholson movie, she made him want to be a better man. And when she touched him, especially the way she was touching him now, all of that was magnified ten-fold.
The way she moved her hands on his body tonight was more than just sexual, more than just physical even. It was like a secret, wordless language. She was communicating her thoughts and emotions through the gentle pressure of her fingertips, and through the soft grunts and gasps of pleasure that escaped her lips. And he was a part of it too. Every stroke of his fingers, lips, and palms against her hot, smooth skin was like a new word in that same unspoken language.
He slid his hand down her taut belly and into the warm wetness between her legs. He knew that was the right move when he heard her groan, “Oh. Yes. Touch me. Please. Right there.”
He pushed two fingers inside her and moved them back and forth, caressing her inner walls as he used his thumb to trace soft but powerful and rhythmic circles on her hard nub of pleasure.
His mouth never broke contact with her sweet breasts as he did this. He wanted to give her pleasure in every erogenous zone she possessed, all at once. He wanted to overload her body with as much beautiful sensation as he could. It was the only way he knew to express the depth of his feeling for her on a level deeper than words could ever reach. To give her this gift.
Soon, her body began to convulse under his touch. He felt her inner walls clenching against his fingers as he continued to move them inside of her. She arched her back and knotted her hands tightly in his hair.
“Oh. Oh, yes. Please. Please don’t stop. It feels so good,” she whispered out in a strangled cry as release swept through her. Even in the face of that evidence, he still didn’t quite believe he could possibly ever make her feel as good as she made him feel. He just didn’t see how it could be possible. But he was damn sure proud of the pleasure that he clearly was making her feel.
* * *
Sara had always heard the phrase seeing stars used to describe the phenomenon that happens when someone gets knocked out. She figured if that were the case, it must mean the orgasm rushing through her like a freight train had all the power of a TKO, because she was sure as hell seeing stars.
Her eyes slammed tightly shut as her body bucked and trembled under the powerful and expert ministrations of Austin’s highly skilled hands. White light was exploding behind her eyelids and her entire world narrowed down to nothing but her body, Austin’s mouth and hands, and the indescribable sensations they were sending through it.
She wanted this night to go on forever. Why couldn’t the world just stop spinning? Why couldn’t time just freeze in this perfect moment? Why couldn’t her entire life be as bliss-filled as this magical time with Austin?
She pushed those thoughts out of her mind and was determined to just enjoy this time, to live in the moment. If this was, indeed, truly one of the last nights she and Austin had together, she certainly didn’t want to waste it with worries about the future. The future would have enough worries of its own when it arrived and became the present. At the moment, she just wanted to clear her mind, lean back, luxuriate in Austin’s touch, soak up every single bit of pleasure he could give her, and do her very best to reciprocate by giving him every last drop of pleasure within the power of her body and mind to give him. If, when the future came, all she was going to have left of Austin was a memory of this one special night, she wanted to make it a doozy, that was for dang sure.
When she was finally able to regain the power of speech and open her eyes, she was filled with warmth at the sight of Austin propped up on an elbow next to her, stroking her hair and looking at her with an expression of impossible affection on his face. She wondered if he was having the same sorts of thoughts she was at that moment—thoughts about wanting to make this one night between them, maybe even their last night together, as memorable as possible.
She stroked his face and then let her hands wander farther downward. When she went to slide her fingers around his shaft, she was surprised to see he had already slid on a condom. She’d been so wrapped up in the mind-blowing orgasm she hadn’t even noticed him do that. She smiled up into his eyes.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
“Yes,” she whimpered. “Beyond ready. So ready.”
He knelt above her, and she guided his stiff length to her entrance. Without hesitation, he pushed into her with a powerful thrust, groaning deeply as he did so. “You feel so good,” he breathed in her ear. The awe clear in his tone sent shivers of pure wonder through her nerve endings. Austin made her feel truly worshiped. Truly cherished. That had never been something she thought was possible, or that she’d even wanted. Now that she had experienced it, though, she didn’t know if she could ever go back to living without it.
“Please,” she whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms and legs around him in the most intimate, loving embrace she could imagine. “Make me forget. Make me forget everything but this. Us. Right here, right now. This is all that exists. Please.”
She felt his answer as he began to move in and out of her with long, smooth strokes. The pace of his thrusts increased, and so did the power behind them. The small earthquakes of sensation erupting all over her skin grew in intensity, and soon she felt another orgasm, even more powerful than the first, building and gaining momentum deep within her belly.
“Oh, yes, don’t stop,” she begged. “I’m going to come.”
“Come,” he gritted out. “Come, hard.”
With that, he shifted on his elbow, achieving a more advantageous angle for deeper penetration, and started to pound into her at a pace that bordered on frantic. Almost immediately, she felt a climax ripping through her, one that dwarfed any she’d previously experienced at any time in her life.
She felt her mouth fall open in a silent scream. She didn’t know how she managed to remain quiet when what she was experiencing was so primal. It was beyond all reason. There was nothing but pure pleasure. That was all that existed.
Sara clung to Austin as they rode their orgasms out together, emotion welling up in her, every bit as strong as the physical pleasure that filled her body entirely.
Once her orgasm started dying down and the lust-fog that had penetrated her brain began to ebb, she could no longer ignore the stark truth that she’d used this amazing sex with Austin as an escape—namely, that if she never saw Austin again after leaving Whisper Lake, she was going to be more than heartbroken, she’d be broken. It would cause total and complete devastation.
It was the first time she’d admitted it in those words, so starkly, even in her own mind. But now that she had, there was no denying it. She knew it to be true. She felt it deep down in her bones. If she and Austin weren’t together, there was going to be such a deep well of sadness in her for the rest of her life. She wasn’t sure how she’d live with that.
Of course, she knew she would. That wasn’t a question. She was a survivor, above all. Not to mention a caretaker, and she had two little lives who depended on her. But still, it was scary to think about how unbelievably hard it was going to be.
She snuggled into Austin’s shoulder as he gently stroked her hair and ran his fingers up and down her back, leaving a trail of gentle tingles in his wake.
He kissed her forehead. “Don’t go,” he said, an aching melancholy infusing his voice. “Stay here. Stay with me.”
She looked up at him, smiling a little. “I’ll stay,” she said. “We have until about five. That’s when Charlotte will start stirring, but I brought the monitor—”
“That’s not what I meant,” He looked into her eyes searchingly and shook his head a little. “I didn’t mean tonight. I meant forever.”
Oh.
Her eyes widened and her throat closed. All of the issues she’d been struggling with before she’d come to see him came flooding back.
Even though she’d just been contemplating how badly she didn’t want to leave him, the thought of staying…of rearranging her entire life…of rearranging her kids’ entire lives…well, that also scared the hell out of her.
She was a logical, responsible person. Was staying in a town she’d never been to before to make a life for herself and her kids with a man she’d just met be something a logical and responsible person would do? No.
She knew in her heart it felt right, of course. But she was a person who lived by her head, not her heart. She always had been. She’d thought she always would be. She’d always depended on that. It was how she’d survived. Was it advisable to change now? Was it even possible?
He kissed her on her forehead again. His lips were so tender and gentle it broke her heart just a little.
“Don’t answer now,” he said, putting her mind at ease. “I know it’s a big decision. Just think about it.”
She nestled her head into his neck and nodded. Her throat was so clouded with emotion she couldn’t have spoken even if she’d tried. And that was just as well, because she had no earthly idea what she wanted to say even if she could’ve formed the words.
What the hell was she going to do?