On the last day of his second full week working as Aeron’s governor, Jaysan was at his wit’s end about Morris’s behavior. The alpha was as kind and generous as ever, but he came home every day for lunch. He didn’t always bring takeout, and sometimes meals were as simple as soup and sandwiches, but. Every. Day.

Jaysan treasured his hours spent alone with Aeron, getting to know his son, learning his moods and cues, and teaching him new words. He still couldn’t walk on his own, but they practiced frequently and he had strong legs, so Jaysan hoped it would happen soon. The weekend had hurt, because two days without Aeron was a special kind of torture, but he’d survived. They had play dates with the kids of some of his omega friends, and even once with little Gaven. Jaysan hadn’t had a single issue with Aeron since the first day’s bedroom incident, and okay, maybe it could be that Morris did miss Aeron.

But half the time, it felt as if Morris no longer trusted Jaysan to be with Aeron for more than a few hours at a time, and that hurt. So when Morris arrived home at the end of the day, Jaysan met him in the foyer. “Do you not trust me anymore?”

Morris blinked at him. “What?”

“It’s a simple question. Do you no longer trust me with Aeron, because he had one meltdown I couldn’t handle on my own?”

“Of course, I still trust you. You’ve watched him for the last two weeks, and he’s thriving. Why would you ask me that?”

“Because you still come home every day for lunch. It feels like you don’t trust me to be with him for more than four hours at a time, without checking in. The first few days after you went back to work, okay. But it’s been two weeks, Morris.”

“I do trust you. Completely. It’s not about that.”

“Then what’s it about?”

Morris stared past him a moment, before meeting his eyes. “It’s about me liking spending time with you. We say hello in the morning and goodbye at night, but that’s a total of maybe fifteen minutes. My lunch hour gives us more time together.”

Jaysan floundered for a response to that. “We aren’t supposed to spend time together. You’re my boss, not my friend.”

His careless words made Morris flinch, and while Jaysan regretted it, he didn’t take the comment back. “You’re right,” Morris said. “I am your boss, and I shouldn’t force you to spend time with me. I apologize.”

The clinical response confused Jaysan; he was used to warm comments and smiles from Morris, not this sudden cold snap. “I mean, I appreciate the attention and the occasional sausage pizza, but I need to know I can get through a whole day with Aeron. For me. I have to know he’s getting to know and recognize me.”

“I understand. Next week, I will not come home for lunch. Will you be offended if I call, simply to hear his voice for a moment?”

“No.” A call was far less intrusive than constant visits. And even though this was the response Jaysan had hoped for, why did he feel so shitty now that he’d gotten it? Why couldn’t he be happy he’d have a whole day with Aeron to himself?

Because I liked my lunches with Morris and I won’t admit it.

“Well, then I suppose I’ll see you next week,” Morris said in a flat tone.

Jaysan internally flinched. He’d upset Morris, and that hadn’t been his intention, but why did Jaysan care when he got what he wanted? “Right.”

He went to give Aeron a hug and kiss, then collected his tote bag.

“I’ll transfer your pay to your account tonight,” Morris said. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Jaysan cast a longing look at Aeron, who waved from the walker. “See you guys next week.”

Aeron’s answer was a mix of babble and “omi,” which was a shorter version of omegin. The sound made Jaysan’s heart trill, and he stood outside to wait for his taxi, which hadn’t arrived yet, because Morris had been home about ten minutes earlier than usual. But he didn’t have to wait long, and then he was on his way to the Jensen house.

When did I stop thinking of their house as home?

The entire exchange with Morris left him befuddled and adrift, and the next morning, he made plans to meet Brogan for coffee at a shop close to both their residences. He’d chosen Brogan, because they shared the closest mutual experiences. Brogan had also been forcibly impregnated by a stranger at the Lawry house, sold to Dent and Udall, forced to fight, faced the consequences of a loss, and had given birth to an unknown sire’s baby. The only big difference was Brogan had complications during birth and chose to keep little Peyton, while Jaysan had a smooth delivery and gave up his son.

Jaysan arrived at Perks first, and he got a decaf and a cinnamon scone to pick at while he waited. Brogan arrived a while later, and Jaysan shoved back his disappointment that Peyton wasn’t with him. He’d hoped that someone else’s baby would help mitigate how much he missed Aeron already. Brogan waved, then went to the counter to order, and in a few minutes, he slid into the booth across from Jaysan.

They hadn’t been friends at first, not like they were now. Jaysan hadn’t wanted to bond with his fellow omega rescues, and he’d attached himself to Reid, because Reid was as angry as Jaysan, while the others were simply depressed and upset. He’d fed on Reid’s anger, until that anger consumed Reid and got him killed. That had terrified Jaysan, and he’d slowly built new relationships with the others.

Brogan had a mug of tea and a sugar cookie. “Hey, man, you look good.”

“Thanks, so do you,” Jaysan replied. And he meant it. They’d all lost their baby pooches in the past year or so, and Brogan looked genuinely happy, fit and healthy.

“So you were kind of vague on the phone, but I talked to Kell last week, so I heard the amazing news you found your son.”

Jaysan grinned, his chest puffing with pride. “I did, and he’s gorgeous. I love taking care of him during the week, and I hate being separated from him on weekends.”

“Yeah, I heard a little about that too. How’s the alpha? Morris?”

“Morris is great. He’s a good man, and he’s been a wonderful uncle and now-parent to Aeron.” He heaved a long, deep sigh. “That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is? What’s up?”

Jaysan wasn’t sure if he was glad for Kell’s discretion, or hated it because he had to tell this all over again. “Morris and I feel the mating bond, but I don’t want a mate, and neither does he, so its existence complicates things. We’ve both been clear about staying single, but he’s so sweet, and he’s come home for lunch every day for two weeks just to spend more time with me, and it’s such a huge mixed signal.”

Brogan stared at him with an open mouth and wide, saucer eyes. “You found your bondmate? Holy shit, Jaysan, that’s amazing.”

“No, it’s not. Remember the part about me not wanting a mate?”

“But why not? I’d fall all over myself to mate if I felt the bond, as long as I could trust the alpha to be kind to me. You don’t trust Morris?”

“I trust him not to hurt me physically, and I trust him to be a good provider, but I don’t really know him. It’s only been two weeks. He’s still practically a stranger.” Except for the small tidbits of information Morris shared during their lunch dates.

No, not dates. Shared meals, nothing more.

“So get to know him. Jaysan, you have been to hell and back. You deserve to find a good mate you can raise your son with.”

Jaysan blew out a frustrated breath. “That’s the problem, though, right? How do I know he really wants me, and he doesn’t just see me as the most convenient caregiver for Aeron, whom he has sole custodial rights to? What if it’s Aeron’s omegin he wants and not me?”

Brogan broke off a piece of his cookie. “That’s where trust comes in, I guess. And I know trust isn’t easy for you. It isn’t easy for any of us. We were all betrayed by a system that was supposed to keep us safe until we found mates, and then we were sold into hell. I get it. But every day Peyton gets a little bit older, and I start to wonder if anyone will ever want us. If I’ll ever find a kind mate for us, or if I’ll be a single parent forever. It’s terrifying, but I haven’t given up hope yet of a real relationship like Liam and Jax found.”

“But would you just take the first alpha you came across?”

“If I feel the mating bond? I’d like to think I would want to get to know this alpha, see if we click. See if Peyton likes him.”

“What if you only had a limited time to decide?”

Brogan tilted his head. “What do you mean by limited time?”

This was the news that absolutely fueled his hesitation toward Morris. “Alec and Orrin have been selected to adopt and the baby is due in about six weeks.”

“Wow. That’s so exciting for them.” Brogan’s smile dimmed. “Oh, crap. Their house is two-bedroom.”

“Exactly. I mean, they can keep the bassinet in their room for a little while, but eventually the baby will need his own room, and I’ll have to go.”

“Okay, I think I see a clearer picture of where you’re at here. You don’t want to mate Morris simply because he’s Aeron’s uncle and you need a place to live in the near future, and also because you’ve been betrayed over and over by alphas.”

The ‘betrayed by alphas’ was only a small part of it. Jaysan wasn’t afraid of alphas anymore, exactly, but he was afraid of tying himself to one simply out of necessity. He wasn’t afraid of sex; he’d had plenty of sex since Aeron was born. No. He was afraid of losing Morris once he had him. Jaysan was used to loss by now. First Dad, then Papa. Then his freedom and some of his fellow imprisoned omegas.

Jaysan remembered two faces he’d fought once and never seen again, and while he’d identified them from Lawry’s records, the constabulary had yet to find their bodies. He had no doubt those poor omegas and their unborn babies were dead, their bodies hidden away somewhere, never to be found again. Because who really cared about orphaned omegas?

No one.

So what happened if Jaysan mated Morris, and then a year or two later, something terrible happened, and Morris died? Where did that leave Jaysan and Aeron? Another halfway house? Vulnerable to another alpha who needed childcare to come along and say, “I want that one?” no matter what Jaysan said?

Fuck that.

Maybe he could find another beta couple to take him in. Isa Higgs had set that in motion for them all last year, finding a fostering beta couple for four of the five men he’d helped rescue, so they weren’t subject to another halfway house.

But why do that when it’s obvious Morris wants me?

“I don’t honestly know what I want anymore,” Jaysan said, “other than a relationship with my son. It wouldn’t be this confusing if the Jensens weren’t adopting, because I could take more time to consider everything.”

“You still have time, though. At least six weeks, if not longer. A lot can happen in six weeks.”

“Including heat. Ugh.” That was coming in another two weeks.

“Are you going to let Morris help with the heat?”

“No way. I have other arrangements.”

Brogan quirked an eyebrow, then ate another piece of cookie.

Jaysan picked at his scone, but it was more of a prop than anything he really wanted to eat. And for the first time in his life, he didn’t mind wasting a little bit of food. Morris paid him a small but fair salary, and Jaysan didn’t have much to spend the credit on, other than treats like this and a few toys for Aeron. Other people provided the rest of his meals, and he didn’t have any actual bills to pay, besides his taxi fares. Even though his scent was muddled from the alpha who’d impregnated him, Jaysan didn’t like riding the bus alone.

Too dangerous.

“So has this chat helped at all?” Brogan asked. “I honestly can’t tell.”

“I don’t know. It’s nice having a friend who will listen and offer advice without pushing. I adore Kell and Braun, but I feel like they’d be pushing me toward Morris, because they’re both happily mated. Liam, too.”

“What about Jax?”

Jaysan shrugged. “We aren’t all that close. Udall liked to pair us up to fight, and I always lost to Jax, except for once. It’s something we don’t talk about. I mean, none of us really talk about the fights, not even you and me. It’s like an unsaid thing, but I really resented Jax for a long time.”

“Because of what happened when he won?”

“Yes.” Already bruised, beaten, and in pain, the losing omega ended up in a bed, helpless to fight off the alpha who’d bought him for the evening. And that always led to more agony. His lower gut clenched with phantom pain and Jaysan clutched his belly. Past encounters flitted through his memory, and Jaysan fought them. Fought hard so they didn’t drag him under.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. You’re safe, you’re okay.” Brogan whispered those words over and over in his ear, while rubbing Jaysan’s back. The motions and words broke through the haze of the past, bringing Jaysan out of old pain and back into the coffee shop.

“Thanks, I’m okay,” Jaysan said.

Brogan was kneeling beside him, and he shifted back to his chair. “Panic attack?”

“Yeah. It’s been a while.”

“I get one now and again. Do you want some water?”

“Yes, please.” Jaysan took a moment to pull himself back together, while Brogan went to the counter for a cup of water. Some teens at another table were snickering and pointing at him. Without thinking, he gave them the finger.

One of the teens stood, and his height and bulk clearly said alpha before the guy closed the ten feet of space between them. Jaysan stood, hands clenched. While he avoided confrontation as a general rule, his captivity had been useful in one way: he did know how to defend himself.

“You got something to say, omega?” the posturing teen asked.

“I think my finger said it for me,” Jaysan retorted. He wasn’t much older than the alpha, but he felt older by decades, and he wasn’t going to be pushed around by someone still in secondary school.

“Speak up, boy, I can’t hear you.”

“Oh, sorry.” Jaysan flipped him off with both fingers. “Louder?”

“Problem here?” a new voice asked with authority. Jaysan didn’t take his eyes off the young alpha, but caught an older man in the corner of his vision. Also alpha, but his scent said mated, and he wore a Perks apron.

“This little shit thinks he can insult his superiors,” Teen Alpha said, sneering at Jaysan the whole time.

Older Alpha grunted. “You his work boss or something?”

“What? No, I’m still in school.”

“Then you’re not his boss, which means you’re not his superior, so why don’t you and your friends hit the sidewalk.”

Teen Alpha squawked. “You’re kicking us out? He started it.”

“Seems to me you were making fun of him, now apologize to the lad and leave.”

“Fuck that. Your coffee sucks anyway.” He gestured to his friends, and the quartet strode out the door.

“Thank you,” Jaysan said.

“It’s no hardship, son,” Older Alpha said. “Recognized you and your friend from the news. You’ve been through enough, and I won’t tolerate that sort of behavior from entitled teenagers in my café.”

“I appreciate it, sir.”

“Call me Mateo.”

“Jaysan.”

“You take care.”

Mateo returned to the counter to help guests, and Brogan approached from the other side of the table.

“Are you nuts?” Brogan asked as he handed Jaysan the water.

“Probably.” Provoking the teenagers had been stupid, but Jaysan was sick of living with taunts and put-downs from alphas who had yet to experience the horrors of the real world. Who were pampered and coddled and raised to believe they were superior to other genders in every way.

Fuck alphas in general.

Jaysan sipped the water, fingers trembling now that the confrontation was over. “I’m just so sick of being stomped on,” he continued. “Of being seen as nothing more than baby machines, or property of alphas. Hell, we’re always considered property, no matter how old we get. Property of our parents to mate as they see fit, property of our future alpha mate, property of the province if our parents or alpha dies. I’m fucking sick of it.”

Brogan studied him a beat. “Is that the real reason you don’t want a mate? You don’t want to be his property?”

“It’s definitely part of it. Right now, I have guardians who treat me like their equal. Yes, they’re a bit protective, but they don’t act like they have to raise me, or direct my every move. They allow me to live an independent life, and I’m scared to lose that.”

“I understand. I adore my guardians for the same reasons, and they love me and Peyton as part of their family. I’d hate to lose that, but I do want a mate one day. If I find my bondmate, I’m not going to push them away out of fear.”

Jaysan bristled. “So I’m a coward?”

“No. I didn’t mean it like that.” Brogan slid a hand across the table to squeeze his wrist. “We each need to choose our own path. Jax and Liam chose to accept their bondmates. Reid chose death. Laine didn’t have a chance to make his choice before he was taken from us, but he told me once he hoped to find a mate who’d care for him and his baby.”

Laine had been rescued with their group, but he’d died giving birth. The betas who’d fostered him had adopted his newborn, so the boy would never know his birth parents at all. He’d never know how brave Laine had been to survive what they’d all survived.

“Do you keep in touch with them?”

“Who?” Brogan asked. “Laine’s foster parents?”

“Yes.”

“I don’t, but I think Liam has been in contact. The baby is happy and healthy and loved.”

“Good.” Jaysan had always hoped Laine’s baby found a loving home like Aeron had.

“Can I ask you something?” Brogan’s shoulders were hunched, which worried Jaysan about the question.

“Sure.”

“Do you ever wonder who Aeron’s sire is?”

Jaysan shivered. “Sometimes. I barely remember the heat, thanks to Lawry drugging me, much less the alpha who was there. Why?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes if I’m walking around town, I’ll see an alpha who kind of resembles Peyton, and I’ll get defensive and weird, even though it’s not his sire. I doubt I’d know for sure anyway. I mean, Liam couldn’t positively identify Mancini as Layne’s sire. He needed a DNA test to be certain. But I wonder if the man is out there and if he’s ever seen me.”

Jaysan hadn’t wondered that until now. “Well, thanks very much, now I’m creeped out.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just, we don’t know if it was always a different alpha. We don’t know if Lawry spun them the same story he sold Mancini about us dying right after being mated, or if they were in on it the whole time and were paid off somehow like Mancini was.”

“Liam told me the constabulary is still investigating Westover Community Resources records and trying to match them to the other alphas, but it’s slow going, because there is so much paperwork to dig through. And it’s not a priority case.”

Brogan grunted. “Should be priority.”

“Yeah, well, with Lawry dead, it’s hard for them to get new leads, so we’re probably lucky we haven’t been designated a cold case.”

“That’ll never happen as long as Isa Higgs is a Senior Constable. He’ll make sure the case stays open for as long as possible.”

“True.” Isa and Liam were disgustingly happy together, and Isa would never stop championing his mate and his friends.

“So other than being creeped out about Aeron’s sire, how do you feel now?”

Jaysan shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. I want to be Aeron’s parent more than anything, but I don’t want to mate Morris. And I’ve got six weeks, if not a few extra, to figure out what I’m going to do next.”

He wouldn’t overstay until the Jensens kicked him out, but mating Morris for a home was not an option. Jaysan wasn’t that desperate yet. He had time to plan and decide what he wanted to do, and the last thing he wanted was to give up his freedom to one more man.

Not even a man as kind, generous, and open-minded as Morris Danvers. Jaysan was done being owned by other men. Period.