SEVENTEEN
COMING CLEAN
The next morning I wake to find Liam wrapped around me like a boa constrictor. I try to ease myself away from him, but his arms tighten.
“No,” he says, his voice dark with sleep.
“No, what?”
“Wherever you think you’re going that doesn’t involve staying in bed with me—no.”
“What if I need to go to the bathroom?”
“Hold it.”
He throws his leg over me for good measure.
“What if there’s a fire?”
“I’m sure New York’s Bravest will get here in time to save us.”
“Liam—” I squirm, and before I’ve even registered he’s moved, I’m slammed onto my back with my wrists pinned aside my head. When he settles between my legs I’m very aware of how extremely naked we both are. And how impressively hard he is.
“Elissa,” he says in a dangerous tone. “This is not up for discussion. I haven’t woken up with you in my arms for nearly six years. I’m not letting go anytime soon. You can either get on board with that, or I’m going to have to subdue you. Understand?”
“Define ‘subdue.’ ”
“Kiss you until you submit to my will.” He lowers his face so that his lips are almost brushing mine. “Make you come until you can’t move.”
“And this is supposed to deter me? Psychology—you’re doing it wrong.”
His face turns dark. “Doing it wrong?” He tightens his grip on my wrists. “Right. That’s it, woman. Prepare to be mauled.”
He growls and shoves his face into my neck, and I squirm and giggle as he nips and bites. When my struggling gets extreme, he lays his full weight against me to keep me still.
“Concede,” he orders.
“Never!” I try to buck him off, but it’s impossible. All those muscles weigh a ton. I huff in defeat and go still. “Okay, fine. You win.”
“Right answer.” He gives me a smug smile before rolling off and pulling me back into the cage of his arms. “On a related note, how suspicious would everyone be if we both called in sick to rehearsal today?”
“Very. But it might be worth it.”
He closes his eyes and holds me tighter. “Yeah, it would.”
With his right arm wrapped across my chest, I can finally get a good look at his tattoo. It looks like a coat of arms, but instead of animals, it’s made up of names. I lightly run my finger across the dark ink.
In the middle, “Jamie” is written in the shape of a heart. On either side, his parents’ names, “Angus” and “Eileen,” scroll around, and they’re surrounded by vines and flowers, just like the pergola Liam built for them. And beneath it all is a banner with . . .
“Oh, my God.”
Liam cracks one eye open. “I was wondering when you’d notice that.”
“When did you get this?”
“After the first Rageheart movie. Hollywood was getting me down, and I . . .” He strokes my back. “I wanted a permanent reminder of all the people I loved who I couldn’t be with.”
I run my finger over the letters etched into the scroll. At first I thought it was a generic compliment about his parents and brother: “My Bliss.” But then I noticed the capital L.
BLiss
I remember his phone message from years ago. “My beautiful Liss. My Bliss. See what I did there?”
He looks down at me. “I thought that if I had you tattooed on my skin, you’d always be with me, one way or the other. Stupid, right?”
“Not stupid. Beautiful.” I palm his cheek and kiss him softly.
We just lie there and kiss for a while. The sort of deep, languorous kisses which suggest we have all the time in the world.
“Every day I was away from you,” he says, in between teasing me with his lips and tongue, “I’ve dreamed of this mouth. Every time I had to kiss Angel, I closed my eyes and imagined it was you.”
Breathless and horny, I check the clock.
6 a.m.
I’m due at rehearsal at 9 a.m.
“So,” I say, and put a hand on his chest to stop him distracting me further. “Have you put any thought into how we’re going to handle things today?”
He flops onto his back and pulls me into him. “I’ve thought about it. Haven’t really come up with a solution yet. We’ll have to break the contract. There’s no way I’m going through with this wedding. I had issues with it before I saw you again. I can’t even pretend to marry Angel now.”
“What if Angel has a problem with it?”
He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. “She may be disappointed about not having her princess moment, but realistically, she’s a victim in this as well. Neither of us have been able to have a proper relationship since this whole thing started, and I know she really wants one. She’s lonely. She wants a man to love her for real, and as much as I think I’m a great kisser, I can feel she’s sick of pretending with me.”
“So you guys have really never . . . ?”
He shifts so he can look down at me. “No.”
“Why not? Didn’t you ever just want to make the best of a bad situation?”
He’s quiet for a moment, and then he says, “We tried. Once. It was right after the Rageheart premiere. We were both freaking out about the screaming fans and fame. I think we both figured we’d try to find comfort in each other, but . . .” He shakes his head. “I couldn’t get you out of my head. Or body. Angel tried her best to make me forget, but I couldn’t . . . uh . . . perform.”
I glance down at how tented the sheet is over his crotch. “Seriously? Because I’ve never known you to have any problems in that department.”
“Yeah, well, that’s because you’ve always made me harder than titanium. But most of the women on this planet don’t affect me like that. Not even Angel. To be honest, I don’t think she finds me attractive, either.”
I sit up on an elbow and stare at him. “Are you kidding? She has eyes and a vagina. How on earth can she not be attracted to you?”
He laughs and smiles at me. “Believe it or not, there are women on this planet who have zero interest in me.”
“Pfft. Lesbians and grandmas, maybe.”
“Actually, I’m pretty popular with grandmas.”
I smile, then snuggle back down into the crook of his arm. “I’m not going to lie. Knowing you and Angel have never jumped each other makes me happy, but I still hate that she was hurt by those pictures yesterday. We need to talk to her. Tell her the truth.”
“I agree. She’s been my only friend through this whole crazy ride, and she deserves better. Maybe when I’m out of the picture she can find a guy who appreciates her. I’ll talk to her after rehearsal today.”
“What about the fans? You can’t just come out and say, ‘Hey guys, guess what? We’ve been deceiving you for years.’ They’d lynch you.”
He strokes my hair. “Yeah, the irony is, in order to let them down easy, we’d have to lie to them more. I hate it, but I don’t see an alternative. Maybe Anthony will have some idea of what to do.”
“What if he tells you to just wait out the contract?”
I feel him tense. “No.”
“Liam—”
He pulls away and looks down at me. “No, Liss. That means another couple of months of pretending and not having you. No fucking way.”
“If you guys break up now, it could hurt the show, and you can’t do that to Marco.”
He lets go of me and swings his legs onto the floor so he can sit up. I can see the tension in his back as he leans his elbows on his knees and drops his head. “So, what? We just go about business as usual? How the hell am I supposed to hide my feelings for you?”
I kneel behind him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. “You’re an amazing actor. You’ll find a way. Just remember that I love you.”
As soon as the words have left my mouth, he turns to me, and his face goes through a spectacular range of emotions. Finally, his expression melts into one of awe.
“So many people say that to me every day. People who don’t even know me. But you . . . you’re the one person I crave to hear it from. Before last night, I didn’t think I’d ever hear those words from you again.”
He cups my face and stares into my eyes. “I used to think that if I just waited long enough, fate would bring us back together. That our stars would align, or whatever, and you’d come crashing back into my life to stay. But that didn’t happen. So now I say, screw it. I’m done waiting. Sometimes, fate is what you make it, and I’m making my life with you.”
He kisses me and pushes me onto my back, and I gasp as he covers my body with his. Lord, that much Liam is hard to handle. I run my hands down his back and over his magnificent ass. I love feeling his muscles tremble beneath my touch. So much strength wrapped around his sweet heart.
“We don’t have long,” I say, already breathless. “I have work to do before rehearsal.”
He presses his erection against me in ways that make me moan. “Don’t need long. Just need to be inside you.”
He kisses down my chest, and grinds against me at the same time. Within seconds, every muscle that was complaining about our epic lovemaking of last night is begging for more.
I lift my hips and urge him forward, and with minimum repositioning, he slides into me. When he’s fully inside, he lets out a quiet moan before going still.
“Along with you saying you love me, I’m also never going to get tired of this,” he says, his voice tight. “Ever.”
He moves, slow and restrained, and I breathe in time with his thrusts. “I still find it hard to believe that Liam Quinn, the world’s most desirable man, is inside me.”
He bends down to kiss me. “And goddamn . . .” He closes his eyes and pants. “The world’s most desirable man is about to come in record time because you feel so damn good. God, Liss . . .”
I don’t know how long we make love, but I know that it’s even better this morning than it was last night. Last night, it all seemed like a dream. Today, it’s a very sexy reality. Even though we know we’ll have to sort through a massive mess to make it happen, we’re no longer going to let anything stand in our way.
I watch, enthralled as a naked Liam trawls through the mess surrounding the couch. “Found my underpants!” he says, holding them up in triumph. “Not sure how they got wrapped around Cheese Lovers’ Quarterly, but whatever.”
I pout as he pulls them on. Thankfully, he ignores the rest of his clothes, which he’s already folded into a neat pile on the couch, and begins to clean in just his skintight boxer briefs. We’re both freshly showered, and I’m in my robe, and although I would like to stay in bed all morning, knowing the apartment looks like a tornado has ripped through it makes both of us tense. Neat Freaks, Unite!
“I’ll do the kitchen,” Liam says, and gives me a quick kiss as he passes. “There’s broken crockery in there, and I can’t have my woman cutting her delicate feet.”
I smile at his choice of words. I’ve never been someone’s woman before. I like it.
Liam stops at the hall closet and digs out the dustpan while I start sorting through the mess of books on the floor. Did nothing survive our onslaught?
A shiver runs up my spine as I think about Liam slamming me against walls and counters. So worth it.
Liam hums as he cleans the kitchen, and I smile as I concentrate on stacking books on the shelves in my own particular fashion; that is to say, categorized by genre, then author, then color. Kind of sad, but whatever. They’re my shelves. I like them to look pretty.
I’m almost finished when I hear voices outside the door.
“Angel, stop.”
“No. C’mere, Josh. Jusforasecond.”
“I can’t hug you and open the door at the same time. Just stand there, okay? And for God’s sake, don’t puke. I don’t deal well with puke.”
The door swings open and Josh stumbles in with one arm around Angel. She looks terrible. When they see me and the mess, they both freeze. Angel sways and blinks as Josh turns to me. “What the hell, Lissa?! Did those asshole teenagers from the second floor break in and trash the joint? Because I’d love an excuse to kick some pimply, emo ass.”
“Josh, hey. Uh . . . no. Would you believe there was an earthquake?”
“No. What really happened?”
“Elissaaaaa!” Before I can answer, Angel lurches toward me and pulls me into a tight hug. “I love you. I had a shitty day yesterday, but seeing you makes it all better.” God, she smells like a brewery. “Will you marry me instead of Liam? He’s a dick. He makes me look stupid. He’s supposed to be my rock in the stormy sea of life, but he let me drown.” She squeezes her eyes shut. “Oh, my God. Someone write that down. I’m so freaking poetic when I’m hammered, it blows my mind.”
I glance over at Josh. He holds up his hands, defensive. “You told me to comfort her. She wanted to be comforted by beer.”
“Has she been drinking all night?”
He nods. “I tried to stop her, but we both know she won’t be argued with. Plus, the more she drank, the more attractive she found me. How could I resist?”
“Ohh,” Angel murmurs as she rests her head on my shoulder. “Josh has been lovely, but Lissa . . . you’re so soft. This robe is comfy. Let’s snuggle.”
She leans down and rests her head on my boobs. I hug her and glare daggers at Josh.
He at least has the sense to look regretful. “I’m sorry. She kept flirting with me until I bought her another drink. I’m a weak, selfish man.”
“Soon you’re going to be a dead man. We have rehearsal in two hours. Marco is going to kill both of us if she shows up like this.”
“I know. That’s why I brought her here, so you could help sober her up.”
I pull back and get Angel to look at me. “Hey, sweetie. How’re you doing?”
“Ahmtired. And Josh won’t let me have more beer. He’s mean. But pretty.”
“How about some coffee? And maybe some food to soak up the alcohol?”
I’m about to take her into the kitchen when I remember who’s in there. Oh, God, as if this situation wasn’t bad enough. At least he has the sense to stay hidden.
“Lissa?” Josh is frowning at me. “Why the hell are there men’s clothes on our couch?”
“Um . . .”
Then his eyes go wide, and Angel gasps at the same time. Sure enough, I turn to see Liam standing half naked in the kitchen doorway, looking like a Greek god, except for the dustpan and yellow rubber gloves.
“Hey, guys,” he says softly, as he looks between us. “Uh . . . we should probably talk.”
Before anyone has time to speak, Angel races to the bathroom and barfs violently into the toilet.
Half an hour and two cups of coffee later, Angel is bleary-eyed, but definitely more sober. Liam and I are fully dressed and have explained our whole story, including our nightly line runs to counteract his secret dyslexia. So far, Angel and Josh are taking it well, all things considered.
“You’re an asshole, Quinn!” Josh yells as he paces in front of the couch. Okay, I lied when I said he was taking it well. “Not only do you dump Elissa for this bullshit PRmance years ago, but then, when you knew you were having feelings for her again, you didn’t even think to warn Angel about the approaching shitstorm? How fucking selfish are you?”
Liam shakes his head. “Josh, I understand why you’re pissed—”
“Good. Because your actions have hurt two of the most amazing women I know, and if I wasn’t terrified of physical violence, I’d be kicking your ass all over this apartment right now!”
When he stops in front of Angel, she gently takes his hand. “Josh, please calm down before Liam squashes you like a bug. Also, you’re too loud. Could you grab me some painkillers?”
Josh throws Liam a final glare before heading into the bathroom. Angel rubs her temples, and when Josh returns with two Advil and a glass of water, she quickly swallows them down.
“Okay,” she says with a sigh. “So, I guess we need to figure out what to do, right? I’m not going to lie. The thought of breaking the contract gets me all kinds of excited, but we know that can’t happen. Not right now.”
Josh sits next to her and lays his arm along the back of the sofa. “So what’s the plan, then?”
“Personally,” I say as I grip my coffee cup, “I think the wise choice would be to pretend Angeliam is business as usual until the fuss from the alley pictures dies down. When the media circus packs up and goes home, we’ll work something out.”
Liam crosses his arms over his chest. “I don’t like having to wait, but I agree it’s probably for the best. I need to talk to Anthony about possible exit strategies, but he’s got his hands full right now. He’s already left six messages for me today. It seems we’ve had over two hundred interview requests since the press conference last night. This thing isn’t going away easily.”
Josh frowns. “So in the meantime, you and Elissa think you’re going to sneak around behind the scenes and sex each other up without anyone noticing?”
“Sex would be nice,” Liam says with a shrug, “but I’m not counting on it, no. I just know I’ve been away from her for six years and I’m not doing it for another damn day.”
“And you expect Angel to be okay with that?”
Liam glances over at Angel, who holds up her hands in surrender. “Hey, don’t look at me. As long as you two spare me the horny details, I don’t want to know what happens behind closed doors. Just promise me you’ll be extra careful. Everyone is going to be watching us like hawks from now on, and I already look like the clueless girlfriend. Even the slightest hint of another scandal will have the press swarming both of us like flies on roadkill.”
“I promise, we’ll be discreet.” He gives Angela warm smile. “Thanks for understanding.”
Angel stands and gives him a hug. “You’re welcome. At least one of us is getting laid. It’s been so long for me, I’ve almost forgotten what a penis looks like.”
Josh clears his throat. “May I interest you in a high-quality selection of dick pics, delivered straight to your phone? Elissa can attest to the fact that they’re quite artistic.”
Angel raises her eyebrow at me. “Do I want to know why you’ve seen pictures of Josh’s dick?”
“No,” I say with a laugh. “You really don’t.”
Liam frowns at me. “Do I want to know?”
“It was an accident, trust me. Now, maybe you and Josh can go and grab something for us all to eat. We have to head to rehearsal soon and I’d like Angel to get some rest before we go.”
“Sure.” He gives me a quick kiss. “We’ll be right back. Unless Josh decides to beat me up on the way, in which case . . . well . . . We’ll be right back.”
Josh gives him a disdainful look. “There’s a lot of traffic in New York, Quinn. Wouldn’t it be a shame if Hollywood’s leading meathead got hit by a car?”
Liam laughs, then opens the door. “Okay, tough guy. Clearly I need to buy you a bagel to purge your rage.”
“A bagel and a cookie,” Josh corrects. “And a crapload of very black, very strong coffee.”
“You drive a hard bargain. Fine. Get your keys and let’s go.”
Liam heads downstairs, and after Josh grabs his keys off the table, he turns to Angel. “Just so you know, I was joking about the dick pics. Mostly. But I am here for you if you need me. I know you’re probably hurting about this whole situation, and sometimes it’s best to get over someone by getting under someone else, you know? Rebound sex can be very cathartic.”
Angel tilts her head, a bemused smirk on her face. “Liam and I were never in a proper relationship, Josh. No rebound necessary.”
“So you say. But Magic Mike and I are available if you happen to change your mind.”
“Magic Mike?” When I snort, she smiles. “That’s . . . sweet, Josh. Thanks.”
“No problem. Anytime.”
When the door closes behind him, I shake my head. “My best friend, ladies and gentlemen.”
“You have great taste in friends,” Angel says, then yawns. “Just look at me.”
She rubs her eyes, and the apartment is engulfed in silence. I know Angel seems to be coping with the situation, but if I were her, I’d have a healthy dose of resentment over the whole thing.
“So,” I say, as I turn to her. “How do you really feel about me and Liam? Honestly.”
She shrugs and flops back onto the couch. “Honestly? It’s hard to tell. I’m still extremely drunk.”
“Do you want to hit me?”
“No.”
“Not even a little?”
“And ruin my manicure? That’s crazy talk.” She gives me a smile. “More than anything, I’m angry at myself for not seeing it coming. I could tell he was weird around you; I just didn’t know why. In all our time together, Liam refused to talk about past relationships. The closest he came was one night when were both tanked and jet-lagged, and he muttered a remark about how he’d done something unforgivable once upon a time and lost the love of his life. I never suspected he’d dumped his one true love so he could pretend to be in love with me. That’s new information.”
“Are you mad?”
“No. Just disappointed he didn’t tell me that he’s been pining for you all these years. I mean, we’ve been through all this craziness together from the moment we both signed on to Rageheart, and even though he’s endured countless hours of me whining about my issues with my dad and my sister, he never once confided in me about what he was going through with you, or his dyslexia. It makes me feel like crap, you know? I thought we were closer than that.”
She looks down, and I put my hand over hers and squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
She takes a sip of her drink. “I’ll get over it. At least this stupid charade is coming to an end. The only man I’ve had between my legs in recent years is my waxologist, Hernando, and he’s gay. I’m jealous Liam’s finally getting some relief.”
“Liam told me that you guys tried to . . .” I look down at my hands. “Make it work once?”
She laughs. “God, it was so bad. Awkward as hell. I mean, Liam’s gorgeous and everything, but he does nothing for me. I love him like a brother. Weird, right?”
“Not really. That’s exactly how I feel about Josh.”
She screws up her face. “Seriously? You’ve never wanted to throw that hot geek down and fuck him?”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “Never.”
“Well, that’s just bizarre.”
“Hey, you just told me you have no vaginal impulses toward ‘People’s Sexiest Man Alive’ three years running, but you’re surprised I don’t want to do my best friend?”
“Well, yeah. Liam’s good-looking and all, but Josh is hot. I’m considering taking him up on his offer for sex, even if it’s only so I can break my dry spell.” There’s a mischievous glint in her eye I’ve seen too many times to trust.
“You fake me out so often, I have no clue if you’re joking or not right now.”
She shrugs. “Me neither.”
I give her a quick hug, then pull her up to standing. “Come on. You can sleep in Josh’s room for a while. I’d offer my bed, but . . . well—”
“Your sheets are covered in the evidence of Liam’s luuuuurve?”
I screw up my face. “Angel—”
“The salty seed of his desire?”
“Stop.”
“The sticky-whiteness of his everlasting devotion?”
I clap my hand over her mouth. “Stop talking or I’ll hurt you. Seriously.”
She giggles as I lead her into Josh’s bedroom. It’s not super-tidy, but Josh isn’t a slob. Living with me has rubbed off on his sense of cleanliness.
Angel looks around. “Hmmm. The Josh Cave. Interesting.”
I pull back the quilt and urge her to get in. “I saw him change these sheets yesterday, so you’re pretty safe.” After she settles in, I pull the sheet up to her chin and stroke her hair away from her face. “Try to get some rest. I’ll let you know when the boys are back with the food.”
As I go to stand, she grabs my hand. “Elissa . . . ?”
“Yeah?”
She looks down at my hand as she strokes it. “I feel like I owe you an apology as well.”
“What for?”
“Ever since we met, I’ve been shoving my magical wedding and hottie fiancée down your throat. I even made you come dress shopping with me, for God’s sake. I’ve been a total asshole. I hope you don’t hate me.”
I laugh. “Actually, I love you, despite thinking you’d stolen the man of my dreams. You’re just that adorable.”
“Well, yeah. Tell me something I don’t know.” She blinks a few times, then her eyes drift closed. “I just want you to know that I’m glad you and Liam have found happiness with each other. You’re both amazing people, and you deserve it.”
Before I can tell her she deserves happiness, too, she’s asleep.