Maverick

Lo stayed glued to my side as I guided us through the house in search of Selina. The same way she had on the Guardians of the Galaxy ride. I’d been joking when I asked her if she was scared, but when we came out Lo was as white as a ghost, the excited sparkle gone from her eyes, and I knew something was wrong. I didn’t push. Didn’t ask when she disappeared into the restrooms for ten minutes.  I knew it had to be something to do with the accident. But when she was ready, she would tell me. I knew better than most that sometimes we had to deal with things the best way we knew how. It didn’t make it any easier to see her uncomfortable though.

“Hey, everything okay?” I said as we moved further down the hallway. When Selina invited us to the party, my gut instinct was to say no. I knew Lo thought something had happened between us, Kyle told me as much. But Selina insisted. Said it would be good for Lo to get to know her. To have a friend, an ally.

I hated that she was right.

“Maverick, over here.” Selina wound through the chaos beaming at me. “I didn’t think you were coming.”

“Change of plans.” I eyed Lo beside me and Selina smiled broadly.

“Lo, I’m so glad you came.”

“Hi.”

Selina knocked me out of the way, wrapping my girl into a hug.

My girl.

Fuck. I ran a brisk hand over my head. She was buried deep. Deeper than I ever expected, but after the last couple of days of just being together, something had shifted. I felt it every time she looked at me.

Taking her to Disney was a risk. I hadn’t been lying when I told her it was once my favorite thing to do. I’d lived for those vacations with my father. But that was before I learned what a piece of shit he really was, and the truth tainted every good memory I had.

Before today, I hadn’t stepped foot in the place in almost five years. The excitement in Lo’s eyes though, made it all worth it. I stuffed down the bad memories, the anger flowing through me, for her. And somewhere during the day, I realized I was having fun too. Whether she meant to or not, Lo filled some of the black holes in my soul, replacing them with light. Blinding white light. And, unknowingly, she’d given me back a piece of my childhood.

“Come on,” Selina’s voice yanked me back into the present. “Let’s get some drinks. I think my jerk of a brother is around here somewhere.”

Dex was here?

I scanned the room, but it was dark; difficult to see through the tendrils of smoke swirling in the air. Lo gripped my hand, her pulse fluttering wildly underneath her skin.

“Hey, are you okay?” I asked again, leaning into her. She nodded but I felt the tension radiating off her. Just as I had on the ride earlier.

As we neared the kitchen, the air became cleaner, people coming and going from the open door. It was quieter in here, easier to breathe, and Lo visibly relaxed, the tension painted on her face melting away.

“What can I get you, Lo?” Selina began sifting through the collection of bottles of liquor, but she said, “Just a beer, please.”

“I’ll have the same.”

“Here you go.” Selina handed us each a beer. “Dex is out back, I know he’d like to see you,” she said to me.

“The two of you’ll be okay?” It was a question for Lo, but Selina answered.

“We’ll be fine, right Lo?”

Lo nodded, taking a long pull on her beer. “Go, I’ll be fine.”

“Sure?”

“Go, it’s fine.” She flicked her head to the door and with one last silent look, I made my way outside spotting Dex immediately. It was hard to miss him with his blue-tinged mohawk. 

“Maverick, my man.” He got up and came to me, pulling me in for a one-armed guy hug. “Selina know you're here?”

“Who do you think invited me?” I eyed his friends, gathered around a table, recognizing a couple from the fight circuit. 

“She got you checking up on me?”

“Nah, man. She wanted to meet Lo.”

“Your new girl?”

I nodded and followed him to two empty chairs away from the others.

“Prince has finally settled down, never thought I'd see the day.” A crooked smile split his face as he retrieved a packet from his jean pocket, sliding a smoke between his lips. “She know what you like to do to let off steam?” 

“She knows.”

Surprise flashed in his eyes. “And she didn't have anything to say about it? Kellie never let me hear the end of it.”

I answered him with silence. I wasn't here to talk about Lo. As far as I was concerned she was off limits, separate to the ties that bound me to Dex.

“I get it, my man. You want to protect her from the bullshit. Keep her out of that world.” He dragged a lungful of smoke into his chest. “But you know one day they’ll cross paths and then what?”

My fingers scraped along my jaw, over and over, as his words sunk into my bones. He was right. Of course, he was fucking right. I’d seen to that when I took her to the warehouse. I’d already brought her into that world. Only then, I hadn’t known what she was to me. Not really. Sure, I'd felt the pull, but I didn’t ever plan on making her mine. Or maybe I had. Shit. I didn’t know which way was up lately. Between things with Lo and my father, and Caitlin and JB, and with graduation right around the corner, my life was freefalling.

“How is the old man?” Dex asked as if he could hear my thoughts.

My eyes snapped to his, narrowing with contempt. Dex didn’t know the whole story but he knew enough.

“Easy, Prince. It’s just a question but from the death stare you’re throwing my way I’ll go out on a limb and say things are still pretty fucked up.”

“Something like that,” I mumbled forcing down the dark urges swarming my chest.

“Some of the guys said you annihilated Suffolk.”

I flexed my fingers. In and out. The marks were barely visible now, but I knew I was sporting a pretty gruesome bruise around my eye. “He knew what he was getting when he stepped into the ring.”

“Yeah, but the last man standing match? You’ve got to be more careful, man.”

Silence stretched out before us. Dex knew the score. We didn’t fight for fame or fortune. We fought because we had to. Because we needed a release—a way to tame the beast.

“Selina’s worried,” I said, cutting the quiet and he shifted uncomfortably.

“I know but she doesn’t get it.” He blew out smoke rings. “No one does.”

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“Talking’s not my style, you know that.”

Another thing we had in common.

“You’re keeping up with classes though?”

“Yes, Mom,” he mocked stubbing out his smoke. “I can’t switch it off. I’ve tried. It’s in me, man. In me deep. I’m different. I have been ever since…” Dex stared off at nothing, lost to his memories.

I only knew this Dex. The guy he became after losing his girlfriend, Kellie, to a drunk driver. But I knew pain and hurt and anger. I saw it reflected back at me every time I looked at him.

“Just watch your back. Lacroix is gunning for blood after what you did last month.”

“Dex,” one of his friends called, and he met my hardened glare.

“Look, Prince, I appreciate the concern, but I can take care of my own shit. You should do the same.”

“Dex, man, get over here.”

“Chill, fuckers, I’m coming.” He stood up and clapped me on the back. “Don’t be a stranger, Prince. And take good care of your girl.” Pain flashed in his eyes and then he was gone.

I finished my beer and went back inside. Selina and Lo were talking like old friends and some of the tension in my shoulders evaporated. I wanted them to like each other. Even though I wasn’t close to Selina the way I was Kyle or Macey, she knew parts of me they didn’t. I didn’t have to hide or pretend with her.

“Speak of the devil,” she grinned, tipping her bottle in my direction.

“I hope you’re behaving, Lina?”

“Me? As if I wouldn’t.”

“I’m trying to get her drunk, so she’ll reveal all your secrets.” Lo smirked, and I hooked my arm around her waist tucking her into my side.

“There’s nothing worth knowing,” I said, the words calm and measured. Nothing like the storm raging inside me. Because I did have secrets. I had a boat load.

“You two are so cute.” Selina watched us with nothing but happiness shining in her eyes. “I’m glad you found each other.” Her gaze settled on me and I saw the understanding there, the silent message, and I flicked her a small nod.

Me too.

~

Lo was quiet on the ride back to her house. I wanted to know what she was thinking—if today had been too much too soon. But the coward in me kept quiet. 

The house was pitched in darkness as I pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. “You're quiet.” I turned to her.

“Just thinking.” She gave me a small smile, but it did little to ease my racing pulse.

“Lo, I—” I said at the same time as she said, “Maverick.”

“You go,” I insisted, and she twisted around to me. My heart jackhammered in my chest as I gripped the wheel. Why did she look so worried? What had changed in the last hour? I racked my brain for a clue. Any hint she hadn't enjoyed today. But all I could picture was the happiness in her eyes. The sound of her laughter. The feel of her hand in mine as she stood squashed between overexcited kids as we watched the parades.

“Thank for you today. It was...” Her gaze darted around me and I held my breath waiting.  

Fuck, if she wanted space, after everything, what would I do?

“I had a really nice time, Maverick.” 

Relief seeped into my veins. Slowly, at first, and then like a tidal wave. She wasn't letting me down, she was thanking me. 

“You don't need to thank me, Lo. I wanted to share a piece of me with you.”

And Disney had seemed like the lesser evil. 

I reached for her, gliding my fingers along her jaw, and tilted her face to mine. “Thank you for coming to the party with me.” 

“Selina is nice. I can see why you like her.”

“Lo,” I warned.

“I don't mean it like that, Maverick. I just meant I can see why you trust her.” I saw the hesitation flicker in her eyes. “But Kyle, he doesn't know?”

Mouth pulled tight, I shook my head.

“Because she's part of that? The fighting?”

“Dex is a part of that, not Selina.” Who was I trying to kid? I met Lo's soft gaze with my own. “But yeah, she worries. Dex has been through stuff. He's still healing.”

Selina had given Lo the cliff notes on what went down with her brother, but she’d stayed true to her promise to me and not revealed anything about me and my story. Even though she didn’t know everything, Selina knew enough. After watching me and Dex beat each other to a bloody pulp during my first fight at the warehouse, she’d drawn her own conclusions about me. By the time she was done with us that night, we left the place with more than just our pride in tatters. I’d sought her out after that and apologized. She told me Dex’s story and I gave up snippets of mine, and I promised to look out for her brother where I could.

We’d been friends ever since.

Silence hung heavy in the space between us. She wanted more. I saw it in her eyes. But I'd already given her as much as I could today. So I deflected. “What happened today, Lo?” I said.

“What do you mean?” Her voice quivered and she tried to pull free, but I cupped her jaw, holding her face firm. 

“On the ride. You were so excited, but something changed. You were barely there and when we came out you looked… I don’t know, shell-shocked.”

“I...” Unshed tears lingered in her eyes but then her expression changed. Hardened. “I'm fine,” Lo said. “I guess it was scarier than I thought it would be after all.”

She was lying. 

But then so was I. Neither of us ready to bare our truths. To face our demons. 

“You want company?” I flicked my gaze to the house. She'd already told me her dad was staying at Stella's for the night and I wanted nothing more than to hold her. To feel the soft curves of her body pressed against me.

“I'm kind of exhausted. Raincheck?” Her smile was strained, and I saw it now, the dark circles around her eyes. Whatever had happened today had weighed more heavily on her than I anticipated.

I leaned in, brushing my lips against hers. Featherlight. And not nearly enough. But I wouldn't push tonight. “I'll text you tomorrow,” I said pressing one more kiss to her mouth. 

“Okay. Goodnight, Maverick.” She climbed out of the car and made her way up to the house. When she reached the door, she glanced back and gave me a small wave. 

Once she was inside, I waited for a couple of seconds before backing out of the drive. Maybe time apart would be a good thing. Give us chance to get our heads straight and process everything. 

Or maybe it would make the darkness bite back with a vengeance.