Chapter 22
With his plans blown to shit, Logan returned to his apartment to work out what the hell he was going to do next.
The temp occupying Lucy’s desk had greeted him with the news that he’d missed her. Yes, Miss Winter had been in for a medical exam and an early meeting with Sir Guy, but not only was she no longer on the premises, she was taking some time off, and wasn’t expected back for up to a month.
That left him with only on way to contact her, and she wasn’t answering. Every call he tried went to voicemail. He hadn’t left any messages, because there was no reality in which leaving a fucking voicemail was going to improve the situation. This had to be done in person.
Logan was still assessing his options when the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of an unexpected visitor. For a wild moment, he wondered if it might be Lucy, only for his hopes to be dashed by the apparition that was his commanding officer, the last person he expected to see on his doorstep.
He followed Guy back to the main room. “Please, sit down. Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thank you—another time, perhaps. Sheila told me you came to the office asking about Lucy.”
That was Sir Guy all right, straight to the point. “I want to talk to her, but she’s gone away somewhere. I was just about to try and figure out where.”
“I thought that might be the case, in spite of our earlier discussion on the matter. May I offer you some advice?”
Logan shrugged—he had a feeling he’d get it anyway, no matter what he said.
“Give her the time I mentioned. She’ll be completely safe where she’s going. You don’t need me to tell you she’s had a tough time, and she’s facing some big decisions. She needs to adjust and consider all her options.”
“I don’t think you understand—”
“I do, Logan. More than you know. If you go after her now, confront her with another decision, she’ll make a bolt for it, but if you give her a chance to miss you, you’ll take away a lot of her motivation to run.”
Frustrated though he was by the stance his boss had taken, Logan understood why he’d taken it. There was no way Sir Guy was going to reveal her whereabouts, but he’d given Logan a clue—the safest place she could possibly be was with her family.
In addition, Lucy herself had let slip a fair amount of personal information along the way. With a little research, he was sure he could come up with something to guide him in the right direction.
He’d find her. It might just take some time. Because whatever Sir Guy might think, the last thing Lucy needed was space.
What she needed… was him.
~~*~~
One more left turn, and she’d be home.
All things considered, the journey north had been relatively easy, and with less than half a mile to go, she could almost taste the slice of homemade cake her mother had promised her, along with a good, strong cup of tea. Proper northern tea, not that wishy-washy stuff they brewed down south.
Only when she’d driven away from her apartment had Lucy realised just how stressed she’d felt and why. It was all to do with Logan, and a foolish wish—in spite of everything—for him to turn up on her doorstep. The height of stupidity on so many levels—even if he’d known where she lived, he’d never come to her.
It didn’t matter, because she never wanted to see him again.
Right. And how many times would she have to tell herself that before she believed it? What she wanted was irrelevant—for the sake of her own peace of mind, the path she’d chosen was necessary, and it was right.
“You’re home now, and there’s no way in hell he’s turning up here!” she muttered to herself as she unfastened the seatbelt, having parked up in the spacious yard, across from the house.
“Oh-Em-Gee!”
The eardrum-busting yell came from the direction of the house, and yet again, Lucy rolled her eyes and shook her head at her childhood nickname. Before she could even get out of the car, two of her brothers were loping towards her—Adam, the oldest of the four, with his twin, Ben, in hot pursuit. A second later, she was enveloped in a double bear hug.
“Put me down, you idiots, and let me get my bag!”
“Shut up and get in the house. Mum’s waiting for you. We’ll take care of your bag and the car.”
Lucy gave a mental groan—they were starting already. And she’d come home voluntarily? The insanity gene must have finally kicked in. Good job she loved them.
Leaving her siblings to fight over who got her bag and who moved her car, she headed towards the house… where her mother was indeed waiting for her at the doorway, a figure as far removed from the stereotypical image of a farmer’s wife as it was possible to be. Rachel Winter was an older, slightly more slender version of her daughter, always smiling, and beautiful in a way that only came with maturity. She greeted Lucy with a fierce hug.
“Welcome home, sweetie. Come and get settled in. Kettle’s on, and I’ve saved you that slice of cake.”
“Mum, it’s great to be home.” Lucy rested her head against her mother’s shoulder, using the action to camouflage the foolish tears that were starting to make her eyes sting. “You actually managed to save some from the gannets?”
“Hey, I resemble that remark!”
James, her third brother and elder of the second set of twins, ambled through from the kitchen, with a half-demolished slab of cake in one hand and a pint mug of tea in the other. He gave her a grin, and took another huge bite out of the cake. Lucy blinked away the threatened tears, and stuck her tongue out at him.
“Where’s Dad?” she asked. “And Sam? Is he around?”
Rachel disengaged herself from the embrace. “Your father’s up at the Top Twenty—should be back any time now—and Sam’s out for a run. All my children home for my birthday—I should contact the local TV station and have them broadcast the news!”
Her mother was a great believer in family celebrations, and one of her major bugbears was the fact that her sons’ jobs took them far and wide on such a frequent but irregular basis that their attendance could never be guaranteed.
Lucy had always been the one their mother could rely on to be there, which was why she wasn’t looking forward to sharing the news of her imminent change of career. Although… getting one over on all four of her brothers by joining the elite unit before any of them was kind of sweet.
“Has Sam said… anything since he arrived?” He was the only one who knew what she’d been up to, and Lucy needed to know how much damage limitation was required if he’d already ratted her out about the mission.
“About what, dear?” Rachel was already heading for the kitchen, her mind clearly on providing sustenance for her offspring, with James, mug still in hand and cake nowhere to be seen, tagging along behind and no doubt hoping to purloin a second helping of both food and beverage.
Given her mother’s propensity for coddling her when her love life went south and the current lack of said coddling, Lucy could only assume Sam had kept his own counsel regarding the conversations they’d had on board his ship before they reached the US. She was glad he had—Logan Simmonds was a problem she wanted to work through on her own, with as little familial interference as possible. Maybe she was growing up at last.
That wasn’t to say, though, that Sam wouldn’t give her a good talking to and a shoulder to cry on if she needed it, once they were on their own. Knowing she could confide in him if need be was a comforting safety net.
“Nothing, Mum. Now where’s that cake?”
Ten minutes later, they were all sitting around the kitchen table, apart from her father and Sam. Conversation buzzed, the topic changing constantly, and although Lucy was involved, she still felt a little detached from the hubbub. I guess that’s what happens when you can’t keep a certain man out of your mind.
Jack Winter announced his arrival with a slam of the front door, a brisk stomp down the hall, and a bellow of his daughter’s name easily loud enough to match that of his sons. In their case, no one would even dream of accusing the fruit of falling far from the tree. Lucy’s brothers were unquestionably their father’s sons.
“Dad!” Lucy jumped up and hurled herself into her father’s arms, uncaring of the grubby work clothes he was still wearing. Hell, she’d grown up on the farm, and had spent more time up to her ears in more dirt than most of her school friends would see in a lifetime.
“Let me get cleaned up, bonnie lass, and then I want to hear all your news. Rach?”
“Kettle’s already on, love. You’ve got five minutes.”
With Sam’s sweaty arrival moments later, her family was complete. Lucy wrapped herself in the cocoon of their love. This was home—here, not in London… and somewhere Logan would never find her.
~~*~~
Lucy had just finished unpacking when a quiet double knock alerted her to the presence of a visitor. Her money was on Sam, and the possibility that the conversation she’d been dreading was now waiting outside her bedroom door.
Arms crossed, he was leaning against the doorframe, wearing an expression that said she wasn’t going to wriggle out of this one. As a child, she’d usually been able to finagle her way out of trouble with all her brothers except Sam. It looked as if that wasn’t about to change any time soon.
“Want to come in?” She stood back, almost using the door as a shield. If he was there to talk about anything that included Logan, it was a chat she’d prefer to have in private.
She closed the door behind him, and when she turned to face him, he held out his arms.
“Come here, sis.”
She’d held it together through all the hugging that had taken place when she’d arrived, but knowing Sam was more aware than any of them of what she’d been through and what had happened with Logan, this time it demolished her defences. She let Sam put his arms around her, and the floodgates opened. Together they sat on the bed while Lucy wept away her pain, stress and anxiety.
“Thanks for not saying anything to Mum and Dad about… you know.”
“Not my place to tell them, but I do think you need to let them know what’s been going on. Has Sir Guy arranged for you to have any counselling?” her brother asked, his voice quiet, soothing, and non-judgemental.
“Yes—he more or less gave me an order.”
“Good, someone needs to. Luce, you haven’t had the training to deal with what you went through, and even hardened professionals need help sometimes. You’ve heard the stories about some of the guys we’ve served with.”
Lucy nodded and sighed. “I know. I’ll make the appointment when I go back to London after Mum’s birthday, I promise.”
“I think that’s wise. So does any of this have anything to do with Simmonds?” He made a vague gesture that Lucy took to define “this” as her distress. “Because if it does, I’ll be first in line to castrate the bastard. I should have done it at sea, and fed his shrivelled little gonads to the sharks.”
Lucy’s tears dried immediately and she looked directly at her brother. In spite of everything, the compulsion to defend the man she loved, even if he didn’t want her, was still fierce. “Even if it did, that would be between him and me, and to be blunt, none of your business. And leave his balls alone.” She plucked a couple of tissues from the box on the side table, and blew her nose.
“Please don’t tell me the fucking idiot did actually choose that bitch instead of you?”
Indignation clamped her lips shut for a moment. “No one can help who they fall in love with, Sam—you should know that.”
Her sibling glanced away, and Lucy instantly regretted what she’d said. He didn’t need a reminder of the fiancée who’d called off their wedding while he was on deployment, just weeks before it was due to take place. She squeezed his arm. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it, it’s history, and I am well over her.”
From his reaction, Lucy doubted he was as well over his ex as he thought. Far be it from her to comment, though. “How about if we change the subject? There’s something else I didn’t tell you all earlier.”
“Uh-oh. Am I going to like this?”
Probably not. Her brothers took the concept of protectiveness to scary lengths—little wonder that she’d been a late starter when it came to dating.
“Don’t assume—you might.” A woman could hope.
Sam’s grunt spoke volumes. “You’ve pulled a stunt like this more than once before, and I never have. Come on then, spit it out.”
Lucy forced a bright smile into place. “You should be happy—I finally decided what I want to do for a career, and now I have the chance to do it.”
She gave him the short version, explaining why she’d wanted the secretary job with Sir Guy, and how it was connected with her decision to volunteer for the mission.
Sam’s reaction lived up to his prediction, rather than her hope. More than lived up to it, in fact, but what Lucy hadn’t counted on was the real fear reflected in his gaze. “Sam?”
“I think we’d better go downstairs. You need to tell the family about this now, sis.”
Her parents and other siblings didn’t take the news about her career change any better than Sam had. However, Lucy wasn’t prepared to back down without a fight and an attempt to win them over to her side.
“You all talk about the good your work does, all over the world—is it so wrong for me to want to do the same? All of you have taught me so much, and I want to use what you’ve taught me to do the right thing too!”
“And you think you’ll do that by getting yourself killed?”
Adam—the oldest, biggest and baddest of her brothers, who could intimidate a rogue elephant when he was in full flow. Lucy took a deep breath and forced herself to remain calm. “Of course not. All four of you taught me everything I know, and I’m going to have training to fill in any gaps. The stuff I learned from you… that helped all three of us to survive the traffickers—”
In a split second, a combination of fear and horror froze five of the faces around her. Sam, however, was looking at her with grim resignation, and remained silent when the fear and horror erupted in a barrage of urgent, almost angry questions.
It was Rachel Winter’s quiet voice that cut through all the masculine bluster with laser accuracy.
“Lucy, I think you’d better tell us exactly what’s been going on, and why Samuel looks almost as guilty as you do.”
A pin landing on a bed of feathers would have echoed in the overwhelming silence of expectation that flooded the room.
It was going to be a long evening…