"A devastating fire has burnt down the mansion of the Rose family. By the time the authorities arrived on the scene, the three-story house collapsed within itself. After battling the vicious blaze for an hour, the fire has been extinguished, and firefighters have done a detailed search of the remains."
My grip around the remote control tightened as I tried to remind myself to breathe every minute. This can't be happening. This can't be happening.
"It was just reported that the Rose family had a family friend over who could have potentially been inside the mansion… I'm getting details as I speak and will inform you in moments."
Friend? Please don't tell me they're referring to me.
"Mr. and Mrs. Rose will be arriving on the scene very shortly, but it has just been reported that their family friend's daughter, Destiny, had come to visit and could have been in the home at the time of the fire. No one is sure what could have happened to start the fire, but we will update you as information is forwarded to us. This is the top story on ANU News."
I was tempted to shut the television off and throw the remote as far away from me as I could, but I couldn't move. Everything that could have possibly gone wrong did in a matter of two hours, and I'd yet to figure out how to get out of this horror story.
"This just in: the Rose family has arrived on the scene. We will take time now to interview them."
My eyes grew wide as I impatiently waited while they exchanged introductions. I watched the two people who I'd referred to as parents turn to face the camera, their eyes locking onto me as if I stood right before them in the flesh. I held my breath without knowing it as they began to speak; my ex-father took the lead while my ex-mother began to sob, which I could tell right away was fake.
"Destiny had come to visit us. She comes and stays with us for certain periods of time throughout the year since her workplace is closer to this neighborhood and we don’t want her driving hours back and forth; it’s very unsafe. I never thought this would happen. I know she must have been in the house because she texted her mother and said she was going to take a nap. I can't fathom this… I really can't."
I didn't realize a laugh had left my lips as tears rolled down my flushed cheeks, until the sound reached my ears. He's fucking lying. How can they possibly lie?! Someone will call them out. Everyone knows me in the area.
"I'm terribly sorry for your loss, Mr. Rose. Mrs. Rose, do you have anything to add?"
"She... she was such an amazing woman. Did so much for the community when she'd come down here to help us. I'm so baffled. How could this have happened? She was finishing up her term at Josh Publishing. Today was her last day after working there for years. She was Employee of the Month in July. She always did overtime to help the team. I… how can I explain this… her poor mother will never forgive us..." The woman broke down then, letting the fake tears flow.
"Thank you, Ms. Rose. Again, I'm terribly sorry for your loss. The police would love your insight on the situation. Right over there."
They both nodded, and a police officer offer came on screen to escort them. The female news reporter faced the camera once more and continued. "We actually have the CEO of Josh Publishing here. He just reported being one of the last to speak with Destiny. Please join me, Mr. Hollow."
My ex-boss, Josh Hollow, walked into view. His cheeks were red, and his green eyes were glossy. Since when did this town have fucking actors everywhere? He can't possibly lie...no.
"I can see that the news of the fire has made its impact on you. Do you have any words for us, Mr. Hollow?"
"I do. I had called Destiny to wish her farewell after working with us for a few years now. She was an amazing person who always went over and beyond to please everyone. She'd work overtime on a regular basis to make sure the team pulled through on our difficult days. Such a beautiful woman. When she picked up… I could hear the fear in her trembling voice… and… I wished I could have been there to get her out. She was trapped in her room and said she was figuring out a way to get out. She said there was so much smoke and I heard a loud sound like something breaking… and… and the line went dead. I can still hear her scream. I can't believe this is happening."
The remote smashed into the wall and missed the television by an inch. I wanted to scream as I rose from the hotel bed and walked right up to the television screen, my wide, anger-filled eyes locked onto Josh's green ones.
Beautiful woman? Every day that sick bastard would talk shit behind my back that he hated my pink highlights in my hair and how I was far too curvy for an Asian Black chick. Not my fault I have curves. Like UGH! This is a bunch of bullshit. You praise me when you think I'm dead, yet he was the reason I was working my ass off, to begin with. Putting a stack of papers for me to edit and go through five minutes before my scheduled shift ended. All that unpaid overtime was his doing, but no. I'm the workaholic who loved to help the team? THEY WERE ALL SELFISH BITCHES! I can't believe this. Nope, this is a dream.
"Thank you so much, Mr. Hollow. Please finish your report with the police."
He nodded in understanding and the reporter returned to her discussion. "If that's not confirmation, I don't know what is. Police will still be investigating the scene for the remains of Destiny and possibly her cat, Snix. We believe the cat was in the house with her owner during the fire. Funeral arrangements will be made and announced here on ANU News."
I couldn't take it anymore, reaching out to press the off button of the flat screen television and made my way back to my bed.
This can't be happening. Please wake up? I have to wake up...
Lifting my trembling hands, I stared at at them and wondered if the shaking would ever stop. The tears continued to leak from my eyes, and the exhaustion of my crash in adrenaline was getting to my nerves.
Sleep. I just need to sleep...
I walked over to the light switch and flicked it off before I stripped out of my clothes, dumping them into the corner of the room until I was left in my black lingerie that hugged my curves perfectly.
I slipped under the covers of the queen sized bed and reached for my phone. I debated whether to check my social media or emails, but after a few seconds, I gave it a shot.
And regretted it immediately.
RIP Destiny.
You were loved, Destiny.
Destiny was a light that everyone needed in their life. She will be missed.
Destiny, I loved you. It sucks that things didn't work out between us, but you were the sun in my life and I know heaven gained another angel.
If it weren’t for the burning sensation that crept through me, I wouldn't have taken another breath of oxygen. I couldn't believe my eyes; to read messages on my wall saying rest in peace. Everyone assumed I was dead simply because of a news broadcast. No investigation, no determination if I was dead or murdered. Everyone was accepting it like it was okay? Like it was true.
What made me sick to my stomach was the last message. The one with the saddest and heart emojis. My ex-fiancé, Phillip. My heart couldn't decide what hurt more: the world turning against me or the man I'd loved with all my heart.
I wasn't exaggerating on my love for him. In fact, I probably still loved him. He had been my light. Maybe even my savior from the dark childhood I tried not to admit I remembered. I consistently had dreams about a different life. A world filled with agony and hate. It wasn't like the "loving" family I'd grown up in later on.
When I found out I was really adopted at the age of eight, everything seemed to click. My anxiety, fears, panic attacks, even the damn asthma. I knew my health didn't match my 'oh so healthy vegan gluten-free family,' but it made sense now.
I always thought I was just the oddball or maybe a stepchild, but I was grateful to be in my parent’s care. When you wake up with barely any memories left and your parents cover your $150,000 hospital fees, you can't ask stupid questions.
To think I could easily be pushed aside as if my existence didn't matter hurt. It hurts so much.
My hands continued to shake, and I sat up and slowly placed the phone back onto the nightstand. After a few struggling breaths, I reached over for my inhaler and quickly pressed down to deliver a puff. After a minute, I took another puff before I laid the inhaler next to me on my right side and stared forward in the dark room.
"R.I.P..." I whispered, over and over again, debating on whether I wished for it to be real. Determining how I felt was difficult; should I feel sad, mad, or just numb?
Was it something to do with my body image?
I was taller than most of my coworkers, standing at 6'2". My shape was on the hourglass side, and with my weight lifting sessions that I did before work to relieve some of the stress gave me a snatched waist.
I still did cardio for when I needed to burn some fuel, normally running on the treadmill doing sprints for a good hour. That just made sure I didn't gain any weight in my hips which were normal and a bit annoying when a girl just wanted a piece of cake.
My skin had always been one of my best qualities. Smooth without a pimple in sight, soap and water being my best friend compared to half the beauty products my coworkers used.
My hair, however, could have been the problem. It was kind of long, as in reaching my lower back long, and the pink highlights always turned heads, but that was my hair. It shouldn't determine if I was likable or not.
Maybe, I'm too kind?
I loved to be kind. Maybe I was too merciful to everyone. No matter the task, big or small, I'd worked hard to make sure everything was perfect, even if it wasn't my task to finish. I craved to be the likable one. To be the one people would come to and seek help from if they needed it. Did it make me popular?
Now that I sat and thought about it, it made me realize how lonely my life really was. The coworkers that I considered friends loved me when we clocked in for our 8-12-hour shifts, but the moment they clocked out, I was the outcast who wouldn't get asked to join them for drinks or the end of the year parties.
Jeez, even getting a cup of coffee with a co-worker never happened. They sure loved to send me to get coffee for them all, though.
I laid back down, my gaze locking onto the white ceiling. I stopped fighting my tears and let them roll down the sides of my face and into the white pillow cushioning my pounding head.
Can I really be forgotten so...easily?
Even if I was adopted, was everyone okay with accepting my death without an investigation? It made me wonder if the police would even investigate. I'd lived for 24 years; my birthday was coming up in two months, yet it felt like I had never existed.
Two hours and no one had tried to call my phone? No one texted to see if the reports were true? Not even one person posted on my Facebook wall and stated they couldn't believe this was true?
The parents I thought loved me put on a show for the world to see, but were they happy I was "dead"? The man I'd loved and adored now slept in a bed with another woman but could take two seconds to be like the rest and follow the lead of RIP messages and making sure he looked the part in this unbelievable lie.
Time passed, and I continued to cry until my eyes were exhausted, but sleep wouldn't take me away. My head pounded while my mind buzzed, wondering what I was going to do.
Sitting up again, I reached for my phone. I ignored the constant RIP notifications and checked into my bank account. Maybe in the back of my mind, I knew this was going to happen. Earlier today when Phillip had broken up with me, I had decided to move my funds to a Switzerland account with my birth name--Destiny Alexa Jinn.
I’d not known that Jinn was my last name, but it was written on the birth certificate and I decided to use it for my personal benefit. I was Destiny was my real name because I did love it. Especially because my grandma adored it.
Once I ensured all my savings and Grandma's inheritance she'd specifically left for me were secured, I made sure to confirm my other bank account was closed. If my "death" was going to be official to this town, I wouldn't dare let anyone get a penny.
When my grandma couldn’t move or take care of herself, everyone had treated her like a burden. Not me, of course.
I took care of her the best I could, even hiring a nursing aid to come in and assist during my long working hours. Even with all my hard work to give my grandma the best last days of her life, it was quite amusing to see the family's shocked expressions when Grandma's will ensured all her million dollar inheritance went to me.
Was that the reason they planned my death? So that the money could go to them? It would make sense… but… wow.
I went through my contacts, scrolling through the numerous coworkers’ numbers, trying to figure out who I could call. My finger kept sliding upward until I reached the last contact.
No one. With 100+ contacts on my phone, I had no one I felt confident enough in calling, which inevitably made my loneliness worsen, and my anxiety continued to pulse through me. I turned the phone off and flicked it to the floor, not caring if it cracked or exploded. I really wish it did explode.
I laid back down and rolled over onto my left side, letting my scrambled thoughts work themselves out while I stared at the lamp sitting underneath the dim night light. I thought about my grandma, the memories we shared and how she always saw the best in me. Her love was genuine, and I missed her comforting voice and soothing hugs.
I trembled quietly under the sheets, one of the things that always happened when I slept alone. It reminded me of Snix and I began to sob, turning over to lay on my stomach and continue my sobbing into my wet pillow.
"Snix. I'm sorry."
I cried all night and didn't know when sleep overtook me.
All I knew was that this was my first night of feeling truly alone in the world.