Blips on the radar. That’s all we are, right? Just little dots, like the fuzz on your television screen. Or the dots of the stars that shine above us, endlessly. Some go out, some are born. But in the end, we all know that time isn’t true reality. It’s just a guiding point, like a sidewalk or the street you grew up on. Like all those stars who have already died, yet we can still see them. Why?

Who cares? All I know is that I’m dead and there’s nothing I can do about it.

To hell with life anyway.

But then I hear her voice, like a distant dream. I struggle to remember what the sound is, even though I know it’s familiar. “Soren,” it says, echoing around me. I twist and turn, trying to find her.

“We’re losing him!” another voice screams. I can’t be sure if any of this is real. I don’t even know if I am real. The Good Boys – they can’t be real, right?

“…stabilizing,” a young woman’s voice says.

More sounds come back to me. I’m not sure of the timeline anymore. When you’re in the state I’m in, limbo, you can’t be sure if a second or an hour has passed. It all sort of blends together in an instant.

I’m not scared of dying. I’m not scared of letting go of everything, of closing my eyes and jumping headfirst into the abyss. It’s what I was meant to do. It’s what I was pushed into.

“Oh, Soren.”

And then the other senses start to come back. Her smell. The way she felt in the Summer. The way that sweet pussy wrapped around my cock…my god.

“He’s back!” a nurse yells.

Eyes open. A flash of bright white lights. Tubes. Lots of tubes and beeping noises. “Fuck me,” I sigh. “Am I in a hospital?”

“Soren!” I see her. Emma. She runs over to my side, as tears fall down her face. “You’re… you’re alive!”

“What the fuck? You all think I was going to die on you?” I ask.

Gabe walks up next to her and smiles. “I told them you were a fighter,” he laughs with joy. Even he’s tearing up.

The doctor rips off her gloves and looks at me sternly. “Actually, you had a thirty percent chance of living. Not the best odds,” she says. “But you pulled through. Congratulations. Now, I’m going to need you to stay away from any stray bullets while hunting.”

“Hunting?” I mutter. Gabe and Emma look at me with hard eyes. I then realize that this hunting business is a lie they made up to get me out of trouble. “Oh, right. Did I at least get anything?”

“Nothing.” Gabe smiles.

“You want to know how long we’ve been in this room waiting for you to wake up?” Emma asks me. I feel her soft hand press against my cheek lightly. I kiss her palm and close my eyes.

“How long?” I ask.

“Three months,” she says. “They put you out the whole time.”

“A fucking coma?” I ask her. “No wonder why I feel like shit. Well, I’m not spending another fucking day in here. This place is the gateway to hell. I’m sure of it.”

I rip out every tube connected to my body. I stand up and the whole bed shakes wildly. “You can’t do that! Sir!” the doctor yells at me, but I ignore her. She ain’t the boss of me.

I stand up and grab a wheelchair. “Wheel me out, strawberry,” I tell Emma.

“Strawberry,” she repeats. “I’ve missed you calling me that.”

“Get ready to hear it for the rest of your life, baby.” I smile.

“Oh yeah?” she kisses me tenderly and I instantly get hard. She reaches down to feel it and smiles. “I guess that’s still working alright.”

“It works,” I assure her. “And you’re getting it tonight. Get ready.”

“Soren, you just got out of a fucking coma,” she says. “We can wait a couple of weeks for you to get better.”

“A couple of weeks?! Fuck no! I’m having you tonight,” I say. I feel like shit and just got out a dense world where space and time don’t exist.

We walk outside and head to the car. Home. We’re really going home. “I never want to experience what I just experienced. Being that close to the edge… it ain’t too fun,” I tell her. She looks tirelessly into my eyes. “I heard your voice. That’s what saved me. You guided me to the light.”

“Soren,” she chokes up. “I love you so goddamn much that it hurts.”

“I’d take a bullet for you any day, baby,” I kiss her and feel her.

“Please,” she laughs. “Do not.”

I laugh with her as she helps me in the car. Today is the first day that I feel like a real human being. I was a bastard with no direction and a lot of talk. I was lost and left my family. But with the help of Emma, I’ve found peace with myself. I’ve finally figured out what it means to be a man. It means caring, loving, and willing to act when everything has gone to shit. Most of all, it means being there for Emma whenever she needs me. That’s my promise to her.

Emma, I’ll always be by your side.

Epilogue: Emma

Three years later…

I wake up with him lying against my side. Correction: he’s not just lying down. He’s awake and his hand is snaking its way up my thigh and toward my—

“Morning strawberry,” I hear him whisper.

I open my eyes and see the Los Angeles sun begin to pour into our window. God, I really love it here. I can’t believe he came. “Don’t you have work,” I whisper.

“It’s my shop. I make the hours,” he says, which isn’t particularly true, but I don’t argue with him. “I want to make a baby with you.”

“Excuse me?” I whisper, turning around to face him.

He places his body over me and kisses hard and passionate. I feel the flood of endorphins run through my body. I breathe in and smile. I love this man more than anything. “You heard me,” he says.

“Since when did you start wanting kids?” I ask him.

“Since I woke up and saw that ass shining in front of my face,” I reach in front of me and grab his cock. It’s as hard as they come.

“Jesus, Soren,” I mildly protest, though if he was to reach out and touch me, his hand would be as wet as the splash zone at SeaWorld.

“You don’t want a little one running around, destroying our dream home?” he laughs.

“A boy or a girl?” I ask him.

“Girl,” he says. “Or a boy. Doesn’t really matter much to me. I’ll love them all the same.”

I kiss him and pull away quickly, placing my hand against his chest. “You really want a baby? Like, honestly?”

“A guy wouldn’t joke about something like this,” he says. “I really want to start a family with you, Emma. It’s crazy how much more I love you with every passing day.”

I kiss him and feel his tongue against mine. He pulls back and feels me. He smiles and spreads my wetness all around his massive cock. He’s warm. He’s so fucking warm. His scent washes over me and I’m transfixed by him. Whatever he wants to do, he can do. I want him forever.

He slides his cock inside of me, pushing the whole of his body against me. I’m wide awake now. “Promise me you’ll fuck me like this forever.”

“Until we’re both old and sagging, strawberry,” he says, kissing me again.

It’s the kind of passionate fuck that feels frantic and hurried, yet is slow and hard as can be. When he thrusts inside me, he holds himself there and looks into my eyes. His hands hold my waist and thighs upward as I claw against his hips.

He moans loudly as he penetrates further. He conquers every bit of me, like I’m new land to discover. I run my hands against his scars. God, everything he’s done for me… Everything we’ve both done for each other… I feel the emotion run from my throat to my legs. I get way too excited and flip him over.

I ride him like it’s my first time. I place my hands flat against his chest and bend my legs. I sit on that thick cock and make it my bitch. “I could fuck you all day,” he moans. “I want to get dirty with you. I want to pour honey all over your body and eat it off you. I want to tie you up and make you cum every hour, on the hour. I want to find new ways to make you mine every single fucking day.”

“Yes,” I moan with him, feeling my pussy start to tingle. I press my clit against his pelvis and push him deep inside of me. I close my eyes and let the rest of my senses take over. I breathe through my nose and arch my back to get better leverage on him. “Tell me more,” I purr with pleasure.

“I want to lead you around this house on a leash and feed you milk out of a bowl, because you’re my cute little pet.” He smiles.

I open my eyes and smile. “Okay, that’s a bit weird, but it really turns me on.”

He smiles even bigger. “My cute little pet who loves her master. She’ll do anything to please him, won’t you?”

“Oh god, yes!” I groan. And then it comes. The floodgates open. Everything is done for, shaking wildly in my brain. The orgasm pushes forward and it’s unstoppable like a tropical storm during hurricane season. I’m done, falling against his body and shaking, actually shaking against him.

He holds me tightly and grabs my wrists. He looks into my eyes and says, “I’m never going to let you go, woman.”

He fucks me with ease, thrusting as hard and as fast as he can, upward. He starts moaning loudly and I can see the pleasure fill into his brain. It starts with his muscles tensing up and then loosening. Tense and loose. Tense and loose. It repeats until it grows faster and faster, like an itch that has to be scratched.

Finally, the whole of his body grows as hard as a rock. He flips me on my back and tilts me backward. “I’m going to get you so pregnant,” he whispers.

He shoots in me, warm daggers of love. He goes and goes, pouring his life and soul into me. We connect together and he pushes himself deeper. He lets go of my wrists. I throw my arms around him. We are one. Forever.

Our lips crash against each other. We close our eyes. We are in love.

When the feeling dissipates, we open our eyes, still kissing one another. He kisses against my neck and releases. Like a cocky son of a bitch, he winks and jumps out of bed to grab a bowl of strawberries. He comes back to bed and sprawls out, looking as comfortable as ever.

“Strawberry?” he asks, holding it above my mouth.

I curl my tongue around the red fruit and pull it into my mouth, biting the tip. “I love you, Soren,” I say. “Way too much. You know that?”

“I love you too, city girl.” He smiles and kisses me again.

“Call me strawberry,” I tell him. “Forever.”

“I love you too, strawberry,” he says.

“You really mean it?” I look at his scars and know that he does. I’d be stupid not to know it, but I want to hear it from him. I adore hearing it from him.

“I’ll take a million bullets for you. It doesn’t matter how many. I’d gladly give my life to keep you living,” he says it without having to think.

“You’re going to be a good father,” I tell him. It’s the truth. I just have this feeling.

“I hope so,” he says.

“You will,” I assure him. “You’re a fighter. You live for challenges.”

“No,” he laughs. “But I do live for you.”

From California to Colorado, and back to California again. Sometimes love follows the strangest routes. To find love, you really have to find yourself first. Soren and I found that out the hard way, unfortunately. There was the loss of life, the loss of innocence, and the loss of tempers, but I wouldn’t trade anything to go back to where I was back then, before I met him on the side of the highway.

I’ve never been so satisfied with someone. I’ve never felt so at ease and at peace. Sometimes you have to wade through the battlefield to find it.

He’s my man, dammit. That’s never going to change.