Chapter Fifteen
Zach
Last night was brutal.
I'd only agreed to go out with Brandon's single co-worker Stacey in a moment of weakness. She'd recently moved here, and Brandon gave me some speech about the difficulties of being new in a small town. She was nice enough, but then we'd run into Poppy, dressed adorably in a baby costume, and I was certain Stacey knew in that instant that I wasn't as single as I claimed to be. Because despite not actually being with Poppy, she owned me. Whether I wanted her to or not. She had cast a spell over me that refused to let go.
God, and her displeasure at seeing me with another woman? It was palpable.
I wanted to drop to my knees and pledge my allegiance to her, and I would have if I thought it would do any good.
But today, all I felt was sad. I felt bad for Poppy. Clearly, she had been as miserable as I was last night. I was just better at hiding it, but her emotions were as clear as day. She wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. And I didn’t just want her for a quick fuck, but as a person in my life, someone to spend time with laughing, writing, doing mundane things like grocery shopping.
If I couldn’t be with her, I at least wanted to continue our tortuous dance as friends. Grabbing my phone, I texted her to see how she was doing this morning.
Hey champ. How are you feeling this morning?
By the time I was out of the shower and dressed, I saw that she’d replied.
So awful. Bring me Tylenol? I promise I’ll bake you so many chocolate chip cookies. So many. Please.
I chuckled at her text, but then a wave of regret flashed through me and I felt even shittier because I realized that she was hungover because of me. If I hadn’t brought a date and dangled another woman in her face, she wouldn’t have over-indulged last night.
Of course I will. Just tell me your address.
A few seconds ticked by before she replied.
You really don’t have to do that. My fault for drinking too much.
I shook my head. I’m coming. Don’t make me break into the student files to find out where you live.
Her reply was immediate. You wouldn’t dare.
Try me.
After Poppy caved and texted me her address, I grabbed my keys and wallet and was out the door and headed for the drug store a few minutes later.
It wasn’t the promise of chocolate chip cookies that had me rushing to her, it was the opportunity to see Poppy with her guard down that had me all kinds of lit up. I wondered if seeing me with another woman had prompted Poppy’s sudden new openness to seeing me. Or maybe she just needed pain killers that badly. I guess I’d find out.
When I arrived at her place, I parked on the street in front of the Victorian home that had been sectioned into two halves as most of the old homes on this street had been. They’d been sliced and diced into duplexes and apartments for students and as I walked up the front steps to the large home, I realized suddenly that Poppy had never mentioned a roommate, yet this place seemed too large for one.
My gaze lingered on the red boy’s bike on the front porch as Poppy pulled open the front door.
“Hey,” I started but Poppy thrust out a hand, motioning in a gimme gesture for the bag I was holding.
“Come in. And thank you. You’re a lifesaver.”
I followed her inside. She headed straight for the kitchen and pulled a bottle of water from the fridge before popping open the bottle of pain reliever and swallowing a couple of the pills.
“I have a massive headache, and I need to adult today. Thank you again.”
My gaze wandered around her home, taking in the toys strewn on the living room floor, the framed photos of her with a little boy.
He looked so much like her. The wavy hair streaked with sunlight. The bright curious eyes. The delicate cheekbones and full mouth.
My heart hammered wildly. “Poppy?”
She drew a deep breath. “I have something I need to tell you.”
I nodded, and followed as she led me over to the couch. We sat down together, and I sensed that everything I thought I knew, everything between us was about to change.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything before. That’s Connor,” she said simply, nodding toward the framed photo that hung on the wall.
“He’s a handsome kid.”
At that, she smiled and reached over and touched my hand.
“I’m sorry I kept him a secret. I never meant to. But I... I liked the way I felt around you—like a woman, and not just a mom. A regular student. I didn’t mean to hide that side of myself, but I …”
I shook my head, stopping her. “It’s okay. There are things I never told you either.” I thought about my last relationship, which had ended in a fucking mess, and my parents’ own divorce that had colored every relationship I’d had since. “Let’s just start over, okay?”
She drew another deep breath, and nodded. “Okay.”
“How old is he?” I asked.
“Seven.”
“So you had him … ”
She nodded. “At the very end of high school.”
Wow. All the respect and admiration I had for this woman was suddenly amplified ten-fold. All she must have been through, all the sacrifices she must have made.
“And you have full custody?”
She nodded again. “My high school boyfriend cut out before Connor was even born. I’ve been doing this on my own ever since.”
“But you dated, you were recently single that night we met at the party.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear and shifted. “I’ve dated, but not much. Most guys aren’t okay with this side of my life, and even if they say they are, over time, it just becomes too much.”
“I see.” I couldn’t help but wonder if my age, my maturity, the fact that I owned a home and had a stable career was a draw for her. Or maybe that was only wishful thinking. Still I wondered, did she crave that stability for her son? Had she only dated guys her age? I was almost thirty—and knew babies and kids were a part of my not-so-distant future. At least I’d hoped they were. But then I realized I’d acted so nonchalant about everything, telling her I was attracted to her, but never admitting I wanted something real. Poppy knew I wanted to fuck her and bring her pleasure, but did she know I wanted more too?
Footsteps on the other side of the door made us pause and look up.
“My mom’s dropping Connor off,” Poppy said rising to her feet.
I rose to stand beside her. “Is this a bad time, should I go?”
She shook her head.
And then there he was—the little boy who looked so much like the woman I’d fallen for. Dark hair and inquisitive, honey-colored eyes. When Connor spotted me in their living room, he stopped and frowned, staring at me as he remained rooted in place.
“Connor, this is my friend Zach. He works at the university,” Poppy said.
Connor’s frown eased. “Okay.”
“Hello,” I offered. “You ready for Halloween tomorrow?”
Connor frowned again. “I guess so.”
“Come here, bud,” Poppy encouraged. “Tell me about Grandma’s. Did you have fun?”
He nodded as he approached, but he still looked bothered by something. I just prayed that it wasn’t by my presence. I had enough strikes against me with his gorgeous mother.
Connor walked into his mom’s embrace. She gave him a squeeze and placed a kiss on his forehead. “Tell me, lovey,” she whispered.
My heart squeezed a little at the sight of him—this was all just so unexpected.
“My tooth is loose, and Sullivan said that his dad left him four dollars when he lost a tooth. It was under the pillow. I don’t have a dad, how am I going to get the money for my tooth?”
Poppy sighed, and pushed a hand through her hair. Her mouth opened, then closed, and I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“I might be able to help you out there, buddy,” I said, bending down so I was closer to Connor’s height.
The little guy’s eyes widened as he listened to me speak. The kid was freaking adorable. I loved the way his eyelashes resting on his cheeks reminded me of the way Poppy’s did when she looked down, lost deep in thought. And I couldn’t help but notice that Poppy watched in awe as I spoke to him, explaining that I grew up without my dad too.
“I know it sucks sometimes. But your mom works extra hard to make sure you have what you need. And I bet that she will be the one to leave the money under your pillow when you do lose your tooth.”
He thought it over for half a second, his eyes narrowing. “But four dollars? That’s a lot of money. The tooth fairy only left Eli a quarter.”
I chuckled under my breath. The kid drove a hard bargain. He was a smart cookie, just like his pretty mother, apparently.
I pulled my wallet from my back pocket. “Tell you what.” I grabbed four bills and placed them in his waiting palm. “Consider this a down payment.”
Eyes still narrowed, Connor gazed down at the money and then back up at me. “But you’re not my dad.”
I shook my head. “No. I’m not. But I’m your mom’s friend and I know what it’s like to grow up without your dad in your life.”
At this, his lips pressed together as if he was processing this information.
“And maybe when you’re a grown-up man like me, you can pay it forward, help another little boy or girl someday.”
Deciding he was happy with that answer, or just happy in general with those crisp bills in his hand, Connor gave me an enthusiastic nod. “Okay. I can do that.”
He started to bound away when Poppy stopped him. “What do you say to Zach?”
“Thank you.” He smiled at me, and then darted off, probably to stuff that money in his piggy bank before his mom said otherwise.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Poppy said, watching me cautiously.
“I know that. I wanted to. He reminds me of you. A ton, actually.”
At this, she finally smiled, and all was right with the world. It felt like I had finally won a piece of her over, this huge piece of her life that she hadn’t been brave enough to share. Suddenly her hesitation at getting involved made perfect sense. It wasn’t just herself she was thinking about. She had an entire future to protect, another little person she was responsible for. But we’d had enough heaviness for a moment. I decided to lighten the mood.
“So, about these chocolate chip cookies …”
Poppy gave a short laugh and rolled her eyes. “First, I need food.”
My favorite diner had the best hangover food, and even better, the tables were covered in huge sheets of white paper and came with a big bowl of crayons.
“Get your stuff. I know just the place.”
“But Connor…I can’t leave him alone…” She sounded panicked, like I was just like the others, not realizing she came as a package deal. Oddly, it never even occurred to me that I should think of this little boy as an inconvenience. He was a huge part of Poppy’s life I’d just been introduced to—and I know that Poppy even allowing me to cross that threshold and meet him was a huge milestone for her—and I was going to do everything in my power to make her understand that I was very okay with her and with Connor. Besides, she just added a MILF fantasy to my growing repertoire of spank bank material.
“I never expected you to leave him here, Poppy.” And at that, I turned toward the kitchen.
I couldn’t wait to see if Connor liked their chocolate chip pancakes as much as I did.
I waited in the kitchen while Poppy gathered Connor from his bedroom. Her home was neat and tidy, it felt homey and lived in. There were framed photographs on the walls, throw pillows and overstuffed ottomans, and gingham placemats on the dining table. I’d never envisioned Poppy as a mother, but decided that I liked this side of her immensely.
As Poppy rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, I picked up a gas mask from the counter and raised my eyebrows at her.
She laughed softly. “Connor picked that up for my birthday last year at a thrift store. He hates that chopping onions always makes me cry.”
“Does it work?”
She shook her head. “Not even a little bit. But it was a sweet idea.”
I set the gas mask down on the counter. “He’s a good kid, Poppy. You’ve done a good job.”
She smiled warmly, turning to greet Connor who had emerged from his bedroom with his shoes and jacket.
“Let’s roll.”