nineteen

I hadn’t been so nervous since the oral exam at the end of my degree. I was in Claude’s office to take stock of the progress I had made over the last four months. Yes, it had been four months since I started out on what I liked to call my Butterfly Program. I still had the chrysalis stuck to my body, but the metamorphosis was under way, and I already felt like another person. It seemed to me as if I had lived those four months more intensely than all the previous five years! I could feel an incredible renewal of energy and a sharpening of my intellectual focus. Claude would probably explain this phenomenon as resulting from endorphins and other hormones, boosted thanks to positive thinking, smiles, and the feeling of taking charge of my life again.

Claude greeted me warmly.

“How are you?”

“Good, thank you. I think things are moving in the right direction.”

“Great. So we’re going to assess how far you’ve achieved your objectives. How does that sound?”

“All right by me.”

“Let’s start with the things you’ve done. Have you brought your Promises Notebook?”

“Yes, here it is.”

Nervously, I handed him the little spiral notebook. Among the boxes I had ticked: “Smile at ten people at least every day”; “Take greater care of myself and of how I look”; “Choose an image/style that highlights my personality.”

“Great progress, Camille! Congratulations.”

But there was a box I hadn’t ticked: “Lose ten pounds.”

“Let’s take a look at that.”

He pointed to a bathroom scale and waved me to get on it. I swallowed, nervous of the result.

“That’s one hundred forty-two pounds. You’ve lost eleven pounds. Well done, Camille. Now you can tick the box.”

I was so proud of myself! I’d finally shed those extra ten pounds.

Claude continued to examine my list.

A box that was ticked: “Do exercises wherever you are.”

Another one: “Develop your love life.”

“You’ve put that down as ‘ongoing.’”

I cleared my throat and explained: “Yes, I’m trying different things, but Sebastien doesn’t yet seem a hundred percent convinced.”

“That’s only normal. All these changes must seem extraordinary to him. Keep going, I’m sure it’ll work.”

“We’ll see.”

“What about the Positive Notebook? Have you been keeping it regularly?”

“Yes, here it is.”

Claude leafed through the book where I had written down my recent pleasant memories:

My rose bush has produced a new bloom.

Board game with Adrien, a real bonding moment.

Successful lunch with Franck, my former office nemesis.

Four men came up to me because they found me attractive.

Treated the whole family to a delicious home-cooked meal.

“Camille, I have to say that I’m really proud of you. I think you deserve this . . .”

Opening a drawer, he handed me a pretty little box with a ribbon that I recognized by now. I was so pleased to open it and find a new charm: this time it was a green lotus. I added it to the two others on the chain. Another level! I’d been awarded a green belt in changing my life . . . This was getting serious. I smiled calmly and sensibly—the smile of a person who had matured a lot in a very short time—but inside it felt like Carnival time in Rio! I wanted to run out into the street and hug the passersby. I was as happy as the day Adrien got an A+ on his exams. I could have downed a bottle of bubbly!

Claude brought me back to earth.

“You’ve made a good start, but there’s still a long way to go. I suggest we work for a moment on your next set of objectives. Is that all right?”

I agreed.

An hour later, we read out together the steadily lengthening list:

I couldn’t help giving a deep sigh. To think that only a few moments earlier I had been jumping for joy . . . Claude saw how discouraged I was and said, “Don’t give up, Camille. Remember the saying ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day.’ Keep focused on each task, every mission.”

“Thanks, Claude. Really, thank you for everything you’re doing for me.”

He shook my hand warmly, visibly pleased at my progress. How many people would work so hard to help someone like this with no guarantee of being paid? Frankly, I thought he was crazy, but I had to admire him for it.