twenty-one

That Wednesday I arrived at our meeting place feeling a bit grumpy—although, to be fair, I had put a euro in the swear-jar. Unlike me, Claude seemed on top of the world and excited. What surprise did he have in store for me this time?

It didn’t take long to find out. He had brought me not to any ordinary swimming pool but to one that specialized in scuba diving. When I realized this, my heart started pounding. I was trapped: surely he didn’t want me to . . .

Yes, he did.

I tried to protest, to get out of it, claiming that I had never learned to hold my breath, that I wasn’t sure I could do it for even ten seconds. Claude waved away my fears and told me the point of the exercise: he wanted me to understand the importance of my breathing in channeling my emotions and to stay in control of myself in any given situation.

OK . . . I got the general idea, but did I really have to prove it by trying this extreme sport? As if by magic an instructor appeared with all the equipment, and quicker than I could say “Stop!” I found myself strapped into a load of very heavy gear that I didn’t have the faintest idea how to use. My brain almost ceased to function: I found it hard to follow and retain the instructor’s directions, especially when it came to the signals for communicating underwater. If Claude thought I was going to play at being a mermaid, he had another think coming! Rather than graceful and agile in the water, I looked more like a hippo brought up in the Sahara. With the regulator stretching my mouth and my hair spreading all round me like tentacles, I looked more like Medusa with her snakes than the sweet Little Mermaid, Ariel.

Be that as it may, the sight of me underwater gave Claude a good laugh. I tried to give him a little kick, but the water slowed all my movements. He must have seen the frown spreading across my face, but he did not relent, apart from asking with a signal if I felt all right. I shrugged to show that I didn’t, but the instructor soon led me down to the bottom of the pool and I became completely absorbed in the experience. At first my anxiety made my heart race. I had to force myself to breathe in a controlled fashion to calm myself and avoid hyperventilating. All at once I understood—I could sense—that breathing was the key to managing my movements. After a few unsuccessful attempts I began to judge things better. I even found myself able to float up or down just by controlling my breathing. The sense of weightlessness was exhilarating! By varying the amount of air in your lungs you could control how high you rose, becoming heavier or lighter as you wished. That meant I could adjust my position underwater with minimal effort.

By the end of the session I felt completely at ease and even dared turn a few somersaults by pushing off from the side of the pool. Had I overdone the oxygen? I felt light-headed!

“So, how was it?” Claude asked me outside the changing rooms.

“Wonderful! But you could have warned me.” I poked him in the ribs to wipe the sly grin off his face.

“Ow!” he said, laughing. “It would’ve been a shame to miss it; you looked so charming. A mermaid in a swimming pool!”

I pulled a face.

“If I’d told you what I was up to, would you have come? You wouldn’t, would you?”

He was right there.

I left the swimming pool feeling much prouder than when I had gone in. It was a unique experience that would be added to my list of powerful memories and anchors in my Positive Notebook.

While we were waiting for the bus to take us back to Paris, Claude insisted on making another point.

“We should spend a couple of minutes reflecting on the lesson to be drawn from this experience: whenever you find yourself under stress, concentrate on your breathing and remember what it felt like to be diving underwater. How calm it is below the surface, peaceful, the way you managed your breathing, your self-control. You need to become aware of your breathing even on a normal day. Bear in mind that healthy breathing is not merely breathing in but also the way you breathe out. If you expel all the air in your lungs, that gives them the chance to refill with new air, which will help your body more.”

“You’re right, it’s something you need to know.”

“And now you do.”