Chapter Nine
I unpacked in my room for the new job as I took a slow breath. Working in hockey would be good and keep me away from football…away from Justin. It had been so hard to end things with him, but my job was on the line sleeping with him. I worked too hard to take a chance on a fuckboy like him, no matter how sincere he seemed to me.
Staying had been hard but leaving was the only option when I took that pregnancy test two months ago. It told me that my life was about to change, and I knew whose baby it was. Keith always used condoms when we had sex and I remembered the feeling of Justin’s hot semen inside of me as I shuddered. I wasn’t disciplined with my pills back then with a lack of sex, and one thing led to another. I found a local job close to my family and quit on Coach as he stared at me in shock.
I told Keith with fewer emotions, even though he was a great guy. Keith deserved better than a girl that was pining away for another man and stringing him along. He didn’t deserve to raise another man’s baby. I was only a couple of months along, but I’d be showing at some point, and I didn’t want anyone from the past to see me. There were too many questions to answer. I took a sip of my cold water as I looked around and stretched my back. I’d barely been able to eat since finding out the news and morning sickness was no joke as it lasted all day for me. I tried to keep the vitamins down and stay hydrated.
I remembered Coach’s words over lunch the day before I drove my car to Boston. “I can see that something’s been troubling you, Jen. Is there anything that I can help you with?” His eyes were kind and worried, and I choked on the tears that I wanted to cry.
I could never tell him the truth. “This is just a hard choice for me. I loved Philadelphia, but Dad and Rosie want me closer, and this job with The Shields is pretty perfect.”
“They’re a good team, and it’s a great organization. They’ll be good to you.” He sipped his coffee, looking me over, and I felt the nausea roll through my stomach. “Aren’t you hungry?”
I’d picked at the fruit that I ordered and barely eaten any eggs. “I think I’m just nervous is all.”
The hug he gave me outside was warm and full of love, and I cried as I walked to my car. Someday, he could meet my baby when things had blown over, and I could come up with a story about a daddy.
I had paid for a company to move my big items to the condo that Rosie had found for me back home. I packed my car with what I could safely fit in it and headed out on a Saturday morning to start my new life.
The team was great, and the staff was friendly. Dad knew that something was up with me, but I was waiting for the big reveal since a dad finding out that his young single daughter was expecting a baby was probably the worst news of all. The condo was quaint and cozy, and I spent a lot of time decorating the living room and my bedroom, while I waited to decorate the nursery. My mom came poking around, and I was shocked when I told her that I was pregnant before anyone else knew. “Who’s the father?” she asked as her dark eyes took me in and she sipped coffee with shaking hands. This wasn’t what I wanted from my mother.
“It’s over. It doesn’t matter,” I choked out as she nodded and stared at me. “Why did you leave us, Mom? What made you hate us that much?” As stunned as I was with my situation, abandoning this baby was never an option.
“It’s complicated,” she said after a few moments of silence. She was once a pretty woman, and I could see her in some of my features. “I couldn’t hold myself together, Jennifer. Your father was so happy and all I did was crave a drink carrying you. Once you were born, the addiction got harder and harder to contain until I couldn’t pretend anymore.” A tear slid down her cheek and she shook her head. “You turned out so good, and I am proud of you.” She stared at me for a long time. “You’ll be an amazing mother.”
We hugged, and I felt like we broke the ice after talking more over the meal. Mom could never replace what I’d lost, but we could start over.
I went over to Dad’s after lunch and sat with him and Rosie on their screened in back porch. I sipped some tea and took a deep breath. “So, I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant, about two or so months along. It wasn’t…planned but I am here, and I’m going to make it work.”
“Where is the father?” Dad asked me as his blue eyes darkened and Rosie squeezed his hand.
“He’s not here. I want to do this on my own, Daddy. He was a huge mistake.” I felt ashamed as I spoke and dropped my face forward. “I’m so sorry, Daddy.”
“Is this the reason you left the team?” I shrugged and looked into his eyes.
“In part, yes. I wanted to be closer to you guys with all of this going on and the job was a great opportunity.” I was honest, and he nodded as he took a deep breath.
Rosie looked at him for a long time before she smiled at me. “We’ll be here for you, Jen. It’ll be okay.”
I told the team coach after that, saying that it was news to me as well. They accepted it since I came with glowing recommendations and I promised I’d work as hard and as long as I could. I was due to get insurance in a month or two, and I saved enough money to take care of myself before then. I could do this on my own.
I felt better once everyone knew and I started to see old friends when I wasn’t working. We were in a bar where they were drinking, and I was sipping water when I saw the story on television. He’d hurt himself playing, and I cried as I watched him get carried off the field on a stretcher. It was an old story from about a month ago, but they updated it saying that he was out while his rotator cuff healed. The team was working with their second string quarterback, and my best friend from high school wrapped her arm around me. “Is that him?”
“I’m such an idiot,” I whispered as the guys behind the desk discussed the team’s lessened chances for the championship and speculated when he’d return to the sport. “It was just one night before I realized I’d made the biggest mistake of my life. I left and tried to put everything behind me, and now there’s this baby.”
“You could contact him,” Brandy suggested softly as I shook my head. I’d seen all of the pictures of him with new women, and it was worse than before.
“That’s not his style. He wants to be free, and now he has to deal with this. I knew that it was going to end up more severe,” I lamented as our friends looked from me to the television. “It’s better this way.”
I focused on work, and the team kept me busy considering they were one of the most aggressive teams in the NHL. They were friendly and sometimes flirtatious, but I felt nothing in return. I just wanted to make my future as bright as possible for my baby.
Rosie went with me to appointments and kept me going on the days that I was weak. I still saw Mom, but I understood that she had an addiction and could only offer me so much. I was at peace with that now. My friends were wonderful, and the team supported me once they all knew. This kid was going to have a lot of uncles to protect it, and the warmth made me cry when I was alone at night.
I missed Justin all of the time, and now I was worried about him to boot. My pregnancy hormones were kicking in, and I felt arousal when I was alone and playing back the memory of our night together. The news revolved more around his injury now and less around his dating life, and I hoped that someone was taking care of him. A part of me wanted to go back and see how he was really doing, but that was impossible with the way my stomach was starting to round now. I couldn’t hide it much longer, and I couldn’t wait to find out the baby’s gender a week from now.