Chapter Sixteen - Kyle
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Now that this new story was out, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it had affected her. I was worried for her health, for her happiness, and for my child. The game was coming up, and I felt less prepared than ever. Erica had been right. Maybe I wouldn’t win sometime soon.
“This works to your favor.” Lewis was biting his nails as he spoke. We were in the locker room, and I had been lost in thought. I was training for the game, but my mind was elsewhere. By now, I was sure that I was going to lose.
“What?” I asked. I hadn’t heard him the first time.
“I said, this works to your favor. The new story. It’s probably a good way of putting you in the clear. You two had a fight, you threw her out of the house, relationship over, end of story.” Lewis went on while I slipped out of my jersey. I wrapped a towel around my groin this time. I trusted nobody around me anymore.
When I hadn’t said anything to what Lewis had said, he continued. “Unless she decides to make a statement that you were violent with her or something, or that you cheated, or something like that.”
“She won’t,” I said, staring into Lewis’ face.
“How do you know? Don’t presume you know her, Kyle,” Lewis warned, but I looked away from him.
“I do know her,” I said, quietly. I wasn’t in the mood to smile or even look at Lewis or talk to anyone. I was going to be a father, and nobody knew about it. There was nobody for me to share the news with.
“You spent a few days with her. That’s it. She’s a journalist. You said yourself that she cares about her career. She might say something like that to save face.” Lewis spoke spiritedly.
I slammed the locker door shut loudly. “Then let her.”
“But we will have to formulate a counter attack.”
“No counter attack. She can say what she likes, which I highly doubt she will and I don’t want you to issue any statement from my side either.” I was walking away from Lewis, but he followed me.
“Are you crazy, Kyle? You have to look out for yourself, not for a woman you barely know.” Lewis was speaking through gritted teeth.
I whipped around to look at him, looked him directly in the eye. “I do know her Lewis, and I’m in love with her.” That was the first time I had said it, even to myself, but I knew that was the truth. There was no denying it anymore. It wasn’t just about the fact that we were going to have a child together. It was about my feelings for her. I missed her, and she didn’t even know it.
“You’ve lost it completely, Kyle. This woman could very easily use you. She might have planted cameras for that initial picture for all we know. Who knew Erica Lee’s name before all this started? Now the whole country knows her.” Lewis had worked himself up. He was talking very loudly and was following me to the shower.
“Like I said, Lewis. I don’t care.” I was on the verge of revealing to him that she was also pregnant with my child, but I stopped myself just in time. It was as much a secret of hers as it was mine and I had no right to reveal it to anybody without consulting her first.
“You’ll care when she fucks you over,” Lewis spat at me as I pulled the shower curtain aside.
“If she does, I won’t call you. Thanks, Lewis,” I said and stepped into the shower, pulling the curtain shut. The steamy water hit my skin and I closed my eyes. I pictured Erica here with me, bent over against the wall, me pounding into her. In those moments we were making a baby and we didn’t even know it.
I wished I could tell my parents. Erica had mentioned proud parents before. I wished I had spoken to her more openly, told her about how sick they both were. I had kept them hidden, away from the public eye, in well-paid nursing homes. I couldn’t care for them myself, and now I needed them. I wanted to tell them that they were going to be grandparents. But I couldn’t. Erica detested me. I had seen it in her eyes, heard it in her voice. She believed I had ruined her life.
I remained in the shower for longer than required, till my skin became wrinkly like a prune. When I stepped out, I pictured her again: sitting on the bench, legs crossed, wearing a shirt of mine. She had looked up at me, pretending to be professional, when I was ready to give her the interview. She had asked me questions nobody had asked me before, and I had answered them. I wish I had known then that there was something special about her. That I was attracted to her, more than just to her body.
But I couldn’t make her talk to me now. She had claimed she needed time away from me, and I respected that. I also knew that she wouldn’t contact me again, not after a story like this. She had had enough of me and my PR stories. I had embarrassed her enough with our fake relationship. If anything, it had only made things worse for her.
I dried myself off with a towel and put on the clothes I had carried with me.
“Hey, Kyle. You remember that chick you banged last season? At the bar?” My teammate Chuck had come up to me. I remembered vaguely who he was talking about. Tall, brunette, Brazilian.
“Yeah,” I said, shrugging.
“She’s here, waiting outside. Wants to see you, lucky bastard.” Chuck laughed and then thumped me on my back.
“I’d appreciate it if you told her I’m not interested,” I said and walked away from him, knowing full well that he was staring after me, surprised by my lack of enthusiasm.