SHANE

 

June 14th

Eucalyptus

Los Angeles, CA

 

 

Eric decided to press charges because he’s a cunt. I won’t apologize. He earned the hit he got, and if he had any honor, he’d take it like a man. But, no, he’s being an asshole about it. He went to the hospital even though the DNA doctor said there was no reason to. He didn’t have a concussion. Just a hell of a black eye and some wounded pride. I didn’t hit him nearly as hard as I hit the Pat’s player. He couldn’t have handled how hard I hit that guy. In the end, the hospital agreed with the DNA medic. I heard they prescribed him a Tylenol 3 and sent him home to ice his face.

Three hours after I hit him, I was told he was pressing charges. I was already at the police station giving my statement, so it was easy for them to book me. Sutton was there too. I didn’t see her but they told me she stayed even after they were done hearing what she had to say. They couldn’t get her to leave. She insisted she was staying until she knew what was going to happen to me. Two hours later when my lawyer came down to pay my bail, she was still there. Her eyes were tired but they were dry. She was quiet but stoic as she drove me to my car in her tiny little Fiat. I still don’t know how I origamied myself into that thing but my neck was jacked for two days afterward.

It's been four days but Sutton has been with me every single one of them. She’s basically living at my place with me like she’s afraid to leave my side. The fact that I’m being charged with Assault has her more stressed than it should. She doesn’t listen when I tell her that we’ll probably settle out of court, just like last time. Or when I explain that I was charged with Assault as a misdemeanor, not a felony. I could see a max of six months in jail or be made to pay a thousand dollar fine.

What I don’t tell her is what my lawyer told me – it’s my second offense and I’m a wealthy athlete in a sport that encourages violence. Those two things combined could make a judge very unsympathetic. He might be inclined to give me the maximum penalty, and, given my wealth, send me to jail for the full six months. No fine. Just time. Assuming I went in sometime in the next month, I’d be gone until January. I’d miss this entire coming season. I could lose my slot for next year and the year after that. I could become useless to the Kodiaks, meaning they could back out of my contract.

There’s a lot at stake for me right now, but I don’t tell Sutton any of that. It’ll just worry her and she already feels guilty enough for what went down.

“There it is,” she mutters softly. “It’s starting.”

On the TV across the bar from our table, Dance the Night Away is starting to air. Right on time. On the KBC lot just a mile and half away from here, the show goes on without us. I wonder what they’ll say about why we’re missing. I don’t really care. It’ll be a lie and people will know it’s a lie. The day after the fight at the studio, newspapers published pictures of me in the police car being driven off the lot. They know I was booked for Assault, but not against who. So far, KBC has no comment. Neither do me or Sutton. People are speculating but no one’s gotten it right yet.

“It’s official then, isn’t it?” I ask Sutton grudgingly. “We’re really off the show. We lost.”

Sutton nods slowly, her eyes distant. “We lost. Yep.”

“I’m sorry.”

She looks at me with sad, swimming eyes. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m the one who should be sorry, and I am.” She bites her lip to stop it from trembling. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“Don’t cry, babe. Please? I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“We have to stop saying ‘sorry’.”

“I can’t,” she whimpers. “I can’t get over it. It’s all my fault.”

“Hey,” I put my hand over hers to slow her down. “It’s not your fault. I hit him.”

“You hit him because of me.”

“He’s the asshole here. Neither of us should feel sorry for anything.”

“Well, I can’t turn it off so how about we feel sorry together.”

I smile at her warmly. “Yeah, I could do that.”

Her face crumbles. Tears well in her eyes, threatening to spill.

“Sutton,” I plead, shaking her hand gently. “Don’t. It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I… I…”

“Take a breath, babe.”

“I miss the show,” she squeaks out. “I know you have such bigger things to worry about and I feel like a total bitch for thinking about myself, but I can’t help it. I’m so damn sad I’m off the show. I loved the show.”

“I know you did. And you have every right to be sad. And, hey, who knows? Maybe what McKay wants to show us can help.”

Sutton laughs shakily. She pulls her hand free from mine to wipe her face with a napkin. “Whatever it is, it can’t get us back on the show. That’s over.”

“It could get you back next year. We can hope for that.”

“I wouldn’t. He was really vague when he said he wanted to meet up with us tonight.”

“What’d he say exactly?”

“That he had a video we had to see. Knowing him, it’s probably an autotuned video of you punching Eric in the face. As much as I’d love to relive that moment, I don’t think I can stomach it knowing what it’s costing us now.”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” I tell her, but I don’t have much more hope than she does.

McKay is an odd dude. He’s a great director but he’s a little out there. He has a hard time connecting to people directly. He likes them better when he sees them through a camera lens. But what I’ve heard from everyone on the show is that he’s got a sweet spot for Sutton. She says she can’t understand why. The only nice thing she’s done for him as far as she knows was tell a contestant on the show to go fuck himself when they called McKay retarded a year ago. She said it was nothing, but I don’t know. To a guy who struggles with people like McKay does, a moment like that might feel like a lot more than nothing.

“She’s rushing it,” Sutton comments dryly, staring at the TV. “Did you see that? Her steps are too quick. She’s off.”

“Yeah, I see it.”

“What a mess.”

“Brett’s doing alright.”

“Better than Ana. She’s probably drunk.”

“That’s harsh.”

“I know,” she replies unapologetically.

Sutton is grumpy. She’s bummed she’s off the show. She’s pissed that her life got me into a scrap with Eric. She’s annoyed that I hit him and screwed up my own future, but she’s also annoyed with herself for wanting me to hit him even though it screwed up my future, so she’s just generally kind of pissed at everything. She feels a lot like the girl I first met two months ago; bitter and so damn angry you can practically see it burning under her skin. But as angry as she is, I know she’s still the girl that laid in bed with me for hours talking about everything she loves. Things like New York and a good latte in the morning just as the sun starts to rise. She loves Chinese food even though she rarely lets herself have it. She loves cats even though she’s allergic. She loves the color red and the number eight and the sound babies make when they’re surprised by something. For an angry woman, she loves a lot of things.

Including me.

I haven’t forgotten what she said to me in the studio just before the shit hit the fan. I don’t want to forget it. It was one of the best moments of my life. One I haven’t addressed with her since it happened because everything we’ve been dealing with since then has been ugly, and I didn’t want her to hear me say those words to her in the middle of a clusterfuck. I want to say it to her when she can enjoy it and be happy about it.

But life is never seamless. There’s no perfect time to say or do anything. Sometimes you have to feel what you feel and say it out loud or you could miss your chance. And I don’t want to miss anything with Sutton.

“Sutton,” I say quietly.

She looks over at me with a scowl on her face. She’s been frowning at the show but when she sees the look in my eyes, her face lightens. It’s like she knows what I’m going to say. When I see her lip turn up at the corner in a sort of smile, I know she’s as ready to hear it as I am to say it.

“Sutton, I—”

“I have what you need.” McKay drops a big, black canvass backpack into the center of our table, jostling our drinks. Ruining the moment.

“Dammnit,” I grumble.

McKay frowns down at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, man. Have a seat. How are you doing?” I ask, uninterested.

He sits obediently. “I’m good. How are you?”

“I’m great.”

“We’re good, McKay,” Sutton smiles. “I’m glad to see you.”

“Wait a minute.” I point at the TV airing the show. The live show. “If you’re here, who’s directing this episode?”

“My assistant director,” he replies as though it’s obvious. And I guess it should be.

“Why aren’t you there?”

“Because I wanted to be here. He could use the practice anyway. He’s terrible.”

“And you let him have the reins this deep into the season?” Sutton asks incredulously.

“Not on the show anymore,” I remind her. “Doesn’t matter.”

She looks at me indignantly for a second before deflating. “It doesn’t mean I don’t care about the integrity of the show.”

“That show has no integrity,” McKay promises her. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I have what you need.”

“What we need for what?”

“To get Shane off.”

McKay digs into his bag as I cast Sutton a look. “We’re just going to let that slide right through?”

“Shush,” she hisses at me. “He doesn’t mean it like that and you know it.”

“Still funny.”

“Because it sounds like I’m saying I know how to make you orgasm?” McKay asks briskly. He smirks. “I guess it is funny. You’re right, Shane.”

“Thanks, McKay.”

“But, no, that’s not what I mean. I mean this.” He pulls a small laptop out of his bag. It’s covered in stickers for companies I don’t recognize – probably all of them audio/video shit or computer brands – and spins it around to face us. Before opening it, he pauses to wait for our attention. “This isn’t a video of you hitting Eric, Shane. I don’t have footage of that.”

“That’s okay.”

“I did, but I destroyed it.”

“Why?” Sutton asks.

“So it couldn’t be used in court against him,” he says matter-of-fact. “But what I do have could help you out with Eric. I hope it can. I don’t know for sure. That’s why I wanted to show it to you so you could decide what to do with it.”

Sutton shifts anxiously in her seat. “Is it… am I in it?”

“No.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Do you remember Liana?”

“The pop singer that was on three seasons ago?”

“That’s her. She’s in the tape. With Eric.”

“Okay…”

“Do you want to see it?”

Sutton glances at me, shrugging. “I mean, I guess? Yeah?”

I nod to the laptop. “Let’s see what you got, man.”

McKay pops it open, blindly clicking a button that brings the screen to life. The video is shot from high up like a security camera but the quality is way too good, even for a television studio. This was shot by a very expensive very high resolution camera. It’s focused on the stage, though you can see a lot of the rest of the room in the wide-angled lens. There’s no one there at first, but after about ten seconds two people walk into view. One is definitely Eric. The other one is a young looking brunette I’ve never seen before.

“That’s Liana,” Sutton whispers for my benefit. She frowns at the screen. “McKay, why do you record the studio?”

“Because people are interesting,” he answers simply. “And it’s a public place. There’s no reasonable expectation of privacy there. Legally, I haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I wasn’t thinking you had, I was just curious as to why.”

“Because people are interesting,” he repeats.

“Have you seen anything interesting with me in it?”

“Yes.”

“Do those videos still exist?”

“No. I deleted them.”

“Do you promise?”

“Do you need me to?”

She smiles at him tenderly. “No. I don’t think I do. Thanks, McKay.”

“Yes. But watch. This is important.”

We watch closely as Liana giggles, stepping up onto the stage. Eric follows her. He’s smiling. Reaching for her. Taking her in his arms. They kiss slowly. He takes off her top even slower. Liana moans, reaching for his pants, and I glance around the room to make sure no one is paying attention to us watching porn in the middle of a bar.

“Are we going to see them have sex?” Sutton asks nervously.

McKay shakes his head. “Not in this version. In the full version you would but I cut it down for time and also necessity. You don’t need to see them have sex to get the point.”

“What is the point?”

“Listen.”

We listen to some hot-and-heavy kissing for about twenty long seconds before Liana finally breaks away. She takes a few steps back from Eric, reaching behind herself to unhook her bra. When she drops it, we get a full HD image of her full silicone injected chest.

“This is a really weird moment for us as a couple,” I mutter to Sutton.

“Shhh! Eric is talking. What’d he say?”

“Listen,” McKay repeats calmly.

…you okay with that?” Eric asks seductively.

Liana giggles. “That depends. Can you really make it happen?”

“There’s not much I can’t make happen in this business. If you’re serious about it, so am I.”

“I am.”

“Show me.”

“Oh God, no,” I breathe tensely. “Don’t show him, Liana.”

“She does,” McKay confirms.

“I figured.”

“Shhh!” Sutton hisses.

“How do you do it?” Liana asks as she kicks off her shoes.

“You wanna know all my secrets, huh?”

“All of them. Every last one.”

“It’s easy. They’re just numbers. Numbers can be changed.”

Liana laughs. “Kind of like my age, right?”

“I don’t know anything about that and don’t tell me either,” Eric demands quickly. He pulls his shirt off over his head, stalking her back toward the orchestra pit near the staircase. “What I don’t know can’t hurt me.”

“Legally, that’s not true,” McKay chimes in. “It doesn’t matter how old he thinks she is. If he has sex with her when she’s underage, it’s illegal. Even if she consented.”

“Does she?”

“Yes. Several times.”

“McKay, when was this video taken?” Sutton asks, getting excited. Not sexually; the video is off-putting in so many ways. She’s getting excited about the prospect of nailing Eric’s skeevy ass to the wall.

“Two years ago. Almost to the day.”

“Is it date stamped?”

“In the coding, yes.”

Sutton pulls out her phone, typing frantically.

“What are you doing?” I ask her.

“Looking up Liana’s birthday.”

“She turns twenty this year,” McKay tells her.

Sutton lowers her phone. “When?”

“In October.”

“Motherfucker!” she shouts triumphantly.

People in the bar turn to look at us.

I immediately slam the laptop shut before the video and Eric’s sex crime gets any further.

“We have him,” she gushes at me. “We can blackmail the hell out of him with this. He’ll have to drop the charges against you now.”

I smile at her apologetically. “We have to take it to the police.”

“What? No way! He’ll go to jail too, but he’ll never drop the charges against you. Especially when he finds out we turned him in.”

“I know and that sucks but it’s the right thing to do. Think about it.” I gesture to the laptop frozen on an ugly moment in a very young woman’s life. “We have him because he actually did statutory rape a girl. She consented, yeah, but the law says she’s not mature enough to do that until eighteen.”

“She was off by a few months.”

“It’s still rape, Sutton,” I remind her gently.

Her face falls along with her hopes. “Oh my God, you’re right. Ugh!” She buries her face in her hands. “I’m a monster.”

“No. You’re not.”

She drops her hands to glare at me. “Yes. I am. I wasn’t even thinking of her. I was only thinking about us and how this could help us. Meanwhile she’s out there somewhere thinking this was okay when it was so not okay.”

“She doesn’t care.

We both turn to McKay, surprised.

“What do you mean ‘she doesn’t care’?” I ask carefully.

“I sent her the video two years ago, right after I found it. I let her know I had it and that what he did was illegal. I sent it to her manager and her mom too. None of them cared. They said I could take it to the cops but they wouldn’t press charges. They also said they’d sue my face off if I tried to distribute it.”

“Why didn’t they want to press charges?”

“Because she loves him.”

“Hold up.” I put my hands together in a T shape, calling for a time out. “Is she still sleeping with him?”

“Yes.”

“What?!” Sutton cries.

I put my hand on her arm. “Baby, you gotta stop shouting. For real. We’re in a public place.”

“Fuck that. What?!” she repeats loudly. “He’s been sleeping with her for the last two years?”

“According to her, yes,” McKay confirms.

“Oh. My. God,” Sutton chants slowly. She looks at me with so much anger, I feel honestly a little afraid for Eric. “I want you to hit him again, please. And this time, kill him.”

“Okay. Again,” I say calmly, “public place. Watch what you say. I’m already in legal trouble with this guy. I don’t need people standing up as witnesses saying they heard me plotting his murder with you and McKay.”

Sutton looks hopefully to McKay. “Do we need Liana to press charges to have him arrested for this?”

“With the video evidence, no. He would be arrested whether she wants him to be or not.”

“What’s the maximum penalty if he’s convicted?”

“If it’s a misdemeanor, which it might be considering she was almost eighteen and there was no physical force,” McKay explains, “he could get a maximum of a year in prison and/or a thousand dollar fine.”

“I’m a little insulted that the fine for punching this asshole in the face and the fine for having sex with an underage girl are the same,” I tell them angrily. “I just want that noted.”

Sutton runs her cold hand up and down my arm, giving me a sympathetic look. “I know, babe. It’s not right.”

“None of this is.”

“So, what’s our next move?” she asks us both. “Do we use it to make him back down or do we turn him in?”

McKay takes his laptop and shoves it back in his bag. “That’s up to you. I have to get back to the studio to rescue the show from my assistant. Let me know what you decide.”

“McKay, wait.” Sutton stands just as he does. She comes around the table, surprising him with a hug. “Thank you for this.”

He pats her on the back with one hand, grinning mildly. “Anytime, Sutton.”

When she lets him go, I offer him my hand. “Thanks, man.”

“Yep.”

McKay leaves as abruptly as he showed up. Sutton and I sit down slowly, looking at each other with questioning eyes.

“What do we want to do?” she asks.

I shake my head, unsure. “I don’t know. I don’t feel right using his crime to negate mine.”

“Two wrongs don’t make a right? Right?” she laughs weakly.

“No,” I chuckle. “And I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to use that girl.”

“Me neither.”

Sutton stares at her drink, frowning sadly. “We’re right back where we started, aren’t we?”

“Yeah. Looks like it.”

“I think we should release the tape,” she says suddenly, her voice rich with conviction. “I think that if you’re going to face the consequences of what you did, so should he. I know it won’t stop him from pressing charges against you, and yeah, maybe you’ll get the max penalty and everything will go to hell, but at least we’ll see him burn too. And that has to count for something. At least if he goes down for this, it could stop him from doing it to another girl. He’s obviously a predator and a mindfucker. He had me so turned around, I didn’t know up from down, and he’s definitely got her on the chain too. Who knows, there might be others out there we don’t know about.”

“You didn’t know about Liana,” I agree.

“And she probably didn’t know about me. She wouldn’t have stood for it. Not if she really loves him like she says.”

“Okay, but are we doing it for the right reasons or are we doing it for vengeance?”

“Can’t it be both?” she asks hopefully.

I smile at her devilish, angelic face. “How about this?” I take her hand firmly in mine. “I’ll do it for the right reason. You do it for the wrong reason. And together, we’ll have all of our bases covered.”

“Like yin and yang.”

“Chocolate and vanilla.”

“Beef and broccoli.”

“I am so hungry,” I groan. “Can we get dinner soon? I’m dying here.”

“Can we do it after we turn in a criminal and crush our enemy like a bug?”

“How about before, but we’ll get it to go.”

She smiles fondly. “I love the way your mind works.”

“And I love you,” I tell her seriously. She hesitates, her smile fading into something softer. A gentle gasp between her pink lips that makes me weak in all the right ways. “I love absolutely everything about you, Sutton.”

Her smile finds strength again. Her lips find mine, and she sighs against them in a contented whisper that feels like life breathing into my body.

“I love you too, Shane.”