Chapter Eighteen
Candice
My phone was vibrating in my pocket, and I wondered if it was Dominic trying to call me. If there was anyone I wanted to talk to at that moment, it was him. But I couldn’t take the call. Not when I had just arrived at my father’s house to tell him what was going on. He’d called me that morning, after he’d been ‘tipped off’ about my new relationship. I had no doubt who had told him even though my father wouldn’t admit to it. He told me to come right over. I was hoping my mother would be there, but she was out. So it was just my father and me. The housekeeper had let me in and had looked at me with a worried expression on her face.
“He’s in a bad mood, isn’t he?” I whispered as I got in.
She nodded. “He’s waiting for you in the living room.”
I sighed. Why on earth did my dad need a housekeeper when it was just him and my mother living in that big house? I’d asked him before, and he said that a house that big needed to be looked after. That was true. The house was certainly big enough to warrant a housekeeper. But why they didn’t just move into something smaller was beyond me. I knew it was pointless asking my father. He’d tell me that he needed a place to conduct his business and that it was important to have something of grandeur to showcase when guests arrived. I thought the whole thing was just ridiculous. Imagine having friends that you had to constantly try to impress. Those weren’t really friends at all. I took several deep breaths before going to see my father. I was already annoyed that he hadn’t opened the door for me himself. If he was trying to prove his importance to me, it wasn’t working.
My father sat in the living room, his back straight, a book poised on his lap. I looked a lot like my father. People had told me that all through my childhood but I had never really understood it until now. And, despite our differences, I had always loved him deeply. My desire to please him had been with me my whole life, and I hated that I was now disappointing him.
“Hi Dad,” I said quietly and took a seat opposite him.
He placed the book next to him and looked up at me. I knew he hadn’t really been reading that book. It had been for show. All his moves were measured like that, every moment of his life well thought out and planned. Every now and again I saw a different side of him. I hadn’t seen it very often, but whenever I did, it was magical. It had been a long time since I had seen that side of him. I remembered it clearly. It had been about a year ago. The chef was off sick, so my mother had made us all lasagna. I’d convinced them all to have some wine with me too, and my father had probably had a glass more than he usually did. That night everything was just funnier than usual. He got the hiccups so badly, and every time the sound would come out from him we’d all burst out laughing. The more he hiccupped, the more we laughed, and the more he hiccupped. It was such a simple night. Just three people having fun together. For the first time in a very long time, none of us had talked about politics. Not a serious word had been spoken that night. The entire night had just been pure silliness. I’d hoped it was a start of things to come, but the next day he’d been back to his formal self, with stilted smiles and planned actions. I missed that side of him.
“Let’s not argue,” I said. Perhaps if I came into the conversation with a level head, then he wouldn’t get too angry at me. Maybe all of this could be avoided by acting civil.
But I could see that my father was not ready to let it go. He shook his head sadly at me. “So it’s true? Dominic Aarons is really back in your life?”
I gulped. “It’s true.”
“How long has this been going on for? How long have the two of you been in touch? I thought I told you that you weren’t allowed to see him. Have you been sneaking calls all these years?”
I looked at him in shock. Is that really what he thought? “Dad, I wouldn’t do that. How could I anyway? You have always monitored me so closely. And I’ve listened to everything that you have said over the years. I never once did anything to go against you. No, I haven’t been in touch with him all these years. He moved back to town without me even knowing. He just happens to be in the same class as me, and we were put on an assignment together. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s what happened. You can call the professor and ask him yourself. I had nothing to do with it.”
My father frowned as he digested what I was telling him. “Okay then, that’s fair enough. But why then, when you discovered who he was, did you continue seeing him? Why would you do that to me? Is that the reason why you broke up with Derek?”
“No. That’s not what I broke up with Derek. I told you already. Derek and I were not in love.”
“But you’re in love with this boy?”
I shook my head. “Dad, he’s only just come back into my life. I don’t know how I feel about him. But I do know that he makes me happy. Much happier than Derek had ever made me. Isn’t that more important than anything else? Don’t you want me to be happy?”
“His father is still part of the damn union. You know how I feel about that. If you stay with that boy, friends or more, it’s like you’re telling the rest of the world that you don’t have the same views as me. And how do you think that makes me look to them? I’m supposed to be a shining example to you. But that’s not how it looks when you run off with someone from the other side. How could you do this to me, Candice?”
“Dad, I’m not doing anything to you. This has nothing to do with politics. This has everything to do with me just wanting to be friends with Dominic. He’s a good person, Dad.”
My father laughed. “I cannot believe that we are having this same conversation all these years later. I forbade you from seeing him back then for a reason, Candice. And I’m not just going to change my mind suddenly. I still feel exactly the same way about it as I did then. In fact, I feel even more strongly now than before. I don’t want you hanging around him. That is not the reason I sent you to college.”
“But he's in class with me.”
“So you’ll only see him in class then? Is that what you are saying?”
“No, he’s my friend. You can’t stop me from seeing him.”
“You’re right, Candice. I can’t stop you from seeing him. You’re a grown woman, and you can do whatever you want to do. What I can do is stop you from going to college.”
I looked at him in shock. Was he really saying what I think he was saying? He couldn’t do that to me. He knew how important my education was to me.
“Dad, you can’t do that.”
“You want to bet? Just like you, I can also do whatever I want to do. If I want you to stop going to college, well then I’ll just stop paying. I’ll tell them that I don’t want you there anymore. And, while we’re at it, I’ll disinherit you. Look around at this house, Candice. This was all for you one day. I wanted you and Derek to live here together. But you’ve gone and messed all that up. For what? For a boy you once knew when you were eleven? Come on, Candice. It’s time for you to grow up. That’s now how this world works.”
“Your world is messed up, Dad. Messed up.”
“My world is reality. Now, all of this can be avoided if you just stop seeing Dominic and start seeing Derek again. He’s a good kid, and he’s devastated that you broke up with him. But it’s not too late to rectify the situation. Just go and apologize to him and all will be forgotten in no time.”
“So he did come and talk to you. I knew he did. I knew he was the one that told you. Well, why don’t you adopt him as your son? It looks to me like you don’t need me in your life at all. Especially since I’m such an embarrassment to you.”
“Derek has nothing to do with this,” my father said. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised that my father was sticking up for Derek.
“Derek has everything to do with this,” I said. “Well, thanks for having me over,” I said as I stood up. I wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and turned my head away so that I didn’t have to look into my father’s eyes anymore. “I think we’re done here.”
I walked off before he could say anything. I saw the housekeeper hovering nearby, pretending to clean an already spotless counter, while clearly listening in on our conversation. I didn’t even bother to look at her. I just went out, climbed into my car, and made my way back to my dorm. I couldn’t believe the things that my father had said to me. I knew he wouldn’t be happy that Dominic was back in my life, but the last thing I expected was for him to go as far as saying he would disinherit me and force me to stop going to school. I couldn’t believe that he would stoop to those lengths.
I had been so good to my father, for so long, but now I wished that I had stuck up for myself more. It didn’t seem worth it anymore. My father was only ever going to love me if I followed his rules. He didn’t want me to be my own person. He just wanted me to be his shadow. Well, I wasn’t going to do that anymore. I had finally seen the light.
I got back to my room, closed the door, and flopped down onto the sofa. Ever since storming out of my father’s house, I had been angry, but now that I was back home I felt the sadness overcome me. I didn’t want to fight with my father. I wanted him to love and accept me for who I was, and I wanted him to let me just live my own life the way I was supposed to. Why was it so wrong to be with Dominic? Tears fell down my face like a burst pipe that couldn’t be contained.
I remembered then that my phone had been buzzing in my pocket when I had arrived at my father’s place. I got out the phone and saw that I had missed a call from Dominic. It was getting late, but I wanted to talk to him. I called him back, but now it was his turn to not answer. I sighed. I looked around the room and wished that I had made some friends at the school. Other than Dominic I had nobody to turn to when I was feeling sad. It wasn’t fair. I lay down on the sofa, hugging a cushion close to me. The tears were still falling as I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.