Chapter Five
By the first of October, there was a layer of snow on the ground. Beverly was thankful there were places close by where she could get a gallon of milk, and not have to drive all the way to Fairbanks for everything.
Being married was so much more than she’d dreamed it would be. She had made the changes to the house she wanted to make, and she was happy to be there. She met a few local women, and some had even agreed to help her with her foundation.
It was a Wednesday in the middle of October, and she had to run out to get milk and eggs. Everything else could wait for the weekend when she and Colin would drive into town together, but she didn’t want to have to make the long drive alone.
As she was walking through the convenience store, she felt a bit dizzy, which surprised her. She’d expected it when she first moved there, because the altitude was more than she was used to, but it hadn’t happened then. Why would it happen now?
She bought the eggs and milk, taking them to her vehicle and sitting there behind the wheel breathing deeply. What could be wrong with her? She had no idea, but she pulled out her cell phone and made a couple of calls, determined to find out. Hopefully she was just anemic or something. She’d done that before.
She was surprised when the doctor got her right in. There had been a cancellation. Driving to the doctor’s office, she parked beside the building and hurried inside. She filled out the paperwork, and waited to be called back. She hadn’t established care there yet, because she wasn’t anywhere near needing her annual physical, so she hadn’t worried about it.
She was playing a game on her phone when the nurse came out to get her. “Mrs. Geller?”
For a moment, she didn’t even realize the woman was using her name. She’d been Miss Snow for so long that Mrs. Geller sounded foreign to her.
She stood up and followed the nurse, putting her purse on the counter so she could be weighed. There was nothing more demoralizing than standing on a scale. She had never been overweight, but she still hated to step onto the scale. There was too much emphasis on a person’s weight in the US.
She followed the nurse into the room and had her vitals taken. “What was the date of the first day of your last menstrual cycle?”
The question stumped Beverly. “I think it was May. Right before my mother died, but I’ve never been regular.”
The nurse made notes on a chart, and then left the room. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”
The doctor was a short little Asian woman, who was very no nonsense. “So you were dizzy today? That’s why you’re here?”
“Yes. I’ve been dizzy before, but it was always because I was anemic. I expected some dizziness when I first moved here, but I’ve been here since the end of July. That seems like a long time for it to show up.”
“Oh, it’s definitely not the altitude.” Dr. Yung looked at the chart. “What birth control method are you using?”
“I’m not. I’ve always had problems with my cycles, and I had a doctor tell me several years ago that without surgical intervention, I wouldn’t be able to have children. My husband isn’t interested in children, so we’re not going that route.”
The doctor frowned. “Did your doctor tell you what was wrong with you?”
“I have endometriosis.” Beverly shrugged. “It’s never been a big deal to me, because until a few months ago, I was taking care of my invalid mother. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever even marry.”
“Do you mind if I do some bloodwork?”
“Not at all. Do you know what’s wrong?”
“I have my suspicions, but I’m going to confirm them before I say anything.”
Beverly shrugged. “That works.”
“I’d also like a urine sample if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
The doctor sent her into the bathroom with instructions for the urine sample. When she finished there, the nurse was waiting to take her blood. “How long will it be before I get my results?”
“Probably tomorrow. We do a lot of the lab work in house, because we’d have to ship them so far.”
Beverly stood up, catching the counter. She was dizzy again. Hopefully there would be an answer and some medicine soon.
The door opened, and the doctor came back in. “Sit down, Mrs. Geller.”
Beverly frowned, but did as she was told. She’d been obedient to doctors for too long to stop now. “It just happened again.”
“I don’t need to run anymore tests. Your urine test told me everything I need to know.”
“Oh? What’s wrong with me?”
“Absolutely nothing.”
“Nothing? But why am I getting dizzy?”
“You’re expecting. I’ll know better what your due date is when I get your blood test results.”
Beverly sat blinking for a minute. “There’s no way. I can’t have children.”
“Doctors make mistakes every day. You’re definitely having a baby. We need to get you on some prenatal vitamins.” The doctor kept talking, but Beverly sat in stunned silence. She was having a baby. She knew that Colin wouldn’t be thrilled, but she was. She was more excited than she’d ever dreamed she’d be at that news.
She stopped and had the prescription filled on her way back to the national park. As she drove, she couldn’t stop thinking about the baby. She actually had a life growing inside her. She couldn’t wait to hold the baby in her arms. All those years when she’d thought she was infertile and would never have a child disappeared. She was pregnant!
She had no idea how she would tell Colin, because he’d made it clear on many occasions that children weren’t in the cards for him. He didn’t even like kids. She thought about telling him over dinner, but after some thought, she decided it might be good to wait a little while to tell him.
When she got home, she started supper in the crock pot, thinking that a nap was in order. She hadn’t had one in a long time, but she was tired. The doctor had encouraged her to sleep more, and she was going to do just that. She’d put in a lot of hours getting the house where she wanted it before winter, and now it was just a matter of keeping up with the daily tasks. She had a quilt she was making in Christmas colors, but she’d continue with that after her nap.
When she woke a couple of hours later, she felt fully refreshed. She still didn’t know how she was going to tell Colin about the baby, but maybe if she talked to him about children, he’d realize just how much he wanted them. This pregnancy had been an accident, but the child was anything but unwanted.
As they ate dinner that evening, she asked, “What made you decide you didn’t want children?”
He put his fork down, looking at her with surprise. “I’ve never wanted kids. Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I can’t imagine having a child to raise. I’d be in my sixties before he or she graduated from high school. That’s way too old.”
She shrugged. “People do it every day.”
“Why bring this up? I thought we were in agreement not to have children.”
“We were.” She decided not to push the topic any further. Not just yet anyway. She’d find just the right time to tell him, and she was sure he’d be thrilled about the birth of his child. How could he not be? He was a caring man, and he seemed to care about her. Surely he’d understand that a child can come from a loving marriage.
As she fell asleep that night, she had a smile on her lips. She was having a baby. All was right with the world.
*****
Beverly received a phone call from Dr. Yung early the next morning, shortly after Colin had left for the day. “Hello?”
“Mrs. Geller?”
“Yes.”
“This is Dr. Yung. I’m calling to let you know the results of your blood tests. You are very definitely pregnant, but based on your HCG numbers I’d say you are almost three months along.”
“Really? I was just married at the end of July.”
“If you want to come back in, I can do an ultrasound. That will give us a more accurate reading.”
Beverly bit her lip. She needed to know when she would start showing. She had to find a way to tell Colin before then. “Yes, I will do that.”
“Can you come in tomorrow at ten?”
“Absolutely. I’ll see you then.” After she’d hung up the phone, Beverly sat with her hand resting on her stomach. She could feel anything yet, but she knew there was a baby there. How could she possibly be sad about that?
*****
Beverly laid back on the table with a sheet covering her stomach, waiting for the doctor to come in. She was nervous and excited all at once. She was about to see her baby for the first time. After spending hours doing research the day before, she even had an idea of what the baby would look like.
When the doctor joined her, she squirted some cold gel onto her stomach and ran the wand over her, pressing hard in places. Beverly wanted to complain that it hurt, but she knew better. Finding out that the baby was okay and how far along she was mattered a great deal more than her comfort.
The doctor was measuring, explaining things as she went. “I’m doing measurements, because they’ll tell us how far along you are. Usually we go by the last menstrual cycle, but with as irregular as yours have always been, we need a more accurate way to gauge.” She paused to type a few numbers into her system. “There’s definitely only one baby.” Another long pause. “I would say you’re twelve weeks along. You’ll have a baby in about twenty-eight weeks, which is a little less than seven months. I’m going to say your due date is around May first.”
“When will I start showing?” Beverly knew the question was an odd one, but she needed to know how long she had before she absolutely needed to tell Colin about the baby.
“Another month probably.” The doctor wiped the gel off the wand and placed it in its slot at the front of the machine. “You’re very small, so I think you’re going to want to increase your calories if you can. Make sure you take regular naps. Get your vitamins in every day. How are you sleeping at night?”
“I’ve been getting up a lot more than usual to use the bathroom. I didn’t really put it together until just now, but I’ve been doing it for over a month.”
“That’s normal. Are you experiencing any cramping?”
Beverly shook her head. “No, not at all.”
“Good. I’ll want to see you every month for the next few months, and we’ll increase to weekly visits as you’re nearing your time.” The doctor held her hand down to help Beverly sit up. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” She wasn’t sure congratulations were in order yet, but Beverly wasn’t going to dismiss the words. Whether Colin was happy about this baby or not, she was, and she had a right to be. After thinking she’d never have children for a lot of years, it was time for her to celebrate the new life growing within her.
When she got home, she started working on an afghan for the baby. The doctor had told her it would be another month or two before they’d discover the sex of the baby, but she didn’t care. She would be prepared either way. Thankfully Colin wouldn’t notice anything amiss, because she was always making baby blankets of one kind or another.
She started taking naps religiously, making sure she slept for at least an hour during the day. It was a little harder on the weekends, but Colin noticed how tired she was, and he encouraged her. “I’m a little worried you’re getting sick.”
She shook her head. “Nah. I’m healthy as a horse. I think I just want to hibernate, because that’s what all the bears are doing.”
He chuckled. “You sure have taken to living in Alaska better than I thought you would. Of course, it’s only November, and we have another six months of winter ahead of us.”
“You do know that for most of the world, winter only lasts three months, don’t you?”
“Wait until there’s almost no sunlight for weeks on end. You’re not going to know what to think.”
She leaned down and kissed him, wandering off to the bedroom for her nap. As she fell asleep, she smiled to herself. A baby was going to be there.
*****
As the weeks went by, she couldn’t seem to find the exact right time to tell him about the baby. A week before Christmas she went in for her monthly exam, and the doctor did another ultrasound. “You’re having a girl.”
Knowing the sex of the baby made it so much more real to Beverly. She decided she had to tell Colin. Christmas would be the perfect time. He’d be in good spirits because of the holiday, and she would find a fun way to tell him. Surely he’d be as happy as she was.
On Christmas morning, she woke early. She made a special breakfast casserole, planning to tell him over breakfast, before they even opened their gifts. Her mind was racing with possible baby girl names as she worked in the kitchen, a smile on her face.
“You sure look happy this morning!” Colin said from the kitchen doorway.
She grinned at him. “It’s Christmas, the most glorious day of the whole year!”
“I guess I should have known the first time you insisted on visiting North Pole that you’d be thrilled with the holiday.”
“That really should have been your first clue.” They’d visited North Pole four times since her arrival. She couldn’t get enough of Santa Claus’s house. She waved her hand toward the table. “Sit! Breakfast is just about ready.”
He got them each a glass of orange juice before sitting. He had noticed she didn’t seem to drink coffee anymore, but he didn’t mind. Maybe that’s why she was always so tired. “So are we opening our gifts after breakfast?” He hadn’t been able to miss the small mountain of presents under the tree. Of course, many were presents he’d purchased for her. It had been so long since he’d had someone to buy Christmas presents for that he’d almost been as excited as she was. He’d certainly gone all out for the holiday.
“I thought that would be best. Are you okay with that?” In her mind, she was thinking about this being her last Christmas alone with him. Next year they’d have a beautiful little girl with dark hair and eyes, and she would be crawling most likely. Oh, how she wanted to see that little girl.
He shrugged. “Sure. We can do things however you want. I’m just happy to have someone I love to share this Christmas with.”
She froze for a moment. He’d never said he loved her before, and she had been afraid to say the words first. Of course, she loved him, but to hear him say he loved her, well it was like a dream come true! Now he would be just as happy about the baby as she was. He loved her after all.
“Did you just say you love me?”
“Have I never said that before?” He shook his head. “Surely I have!”
“No, you’ve never said it before. And I love you too!”
“Yeah, I know.” He took a bite of his breakfast, nodding. “This is good. You should make it more often.”
“How do you know?”
“You wouldn’t take care of me the way you do if it was just out of obligation. You have to love me.” Colin grinned at her look of exasperation. “Wasn’t I supposed to know?”
She shrugged. “I guess I always expected to be able to say the words and please you with them, instead of you just saying that you already know.”
“Do you want me to pretend to be surprised? Cuz I can do that if you want.”
Beverly frowned at him. “No, you don’t have to pretend to be surprised.” She shook her head. “You sure do take the fun out of making grand statements though.”
He caught her hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m thrilled that you love me, because I can’t imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else.”
The smile on her face told him that she was thrilled with his words, even if she wasn’t thrilled that he wasn’t surprised she loved him. “I’m glad you like the casserole. It’s a new recipe I found on the internet. I thought it would be special for Christmas morning.”
“Does every minute of Christmas need to be special?” he asked, teasing her. He knew how she felt about the holiday.
“Of course it does! It’s our first Christmas together!” And our only Christmas alone. She had to get up the courage to tell him about the baby. She knew that once he thought about it, he’d be as happy as she was.
“We’ll have a whole lot more of them together, you know.”
“I sure hope so.” She blotted her mouth with her napkin, deciding to just spit it out. How bad could it be? “I’m pregnant.”