I groaned inside as I adjusted my pillow for what felt like the hundredth time. For over an hour, I’d tried to sleep but nothing worked. It was still pitch-black outside and even the annoying birds were sleeping. Which meant, I couldn’t use them as my excuse for the insomnia I was going through. I covered my face with my arm and released a deep breath.

There was no use in pretending I had no clue what was bothering me. We’d leave for Washington after breakfast and I couldn’t help but worry what it would be like between us when we took on our roles as president and first lady and not just a man and woman totally into each other.

Would we live separate lives and only come together for sex and the occasional event or would we have a relationship as my parents had? One where we shared everything that wasn’t confidential to our jobs.

My emotions were running wild, and the need I felt for Ashur was confusing the hell out of me.

These past few days he’d been the boy I’d fallen in love with as a girl but in the package of the man he’d become. He’d gotten me to enjoy our early-morning walks and late-night strolls. Although he hadn’t proven to me running was worth it. We’d even broached the subject of his father, discussing in detail Minesh’s manipulation and even what he’d done to Samina when she’d decided to pursue a career far away from Texas.

I’d found myself wanting to confess everything about who I was and what I’d done, countless times. But I’d kept things quiet, not wanting anything to taint our time at the cabin. Plus, it was better to have all the information and then tell Ashur everything. As soon as we got back, I’d meet with Tyler, settle on the final logistics of the auction and Ameera’s return, and then decide how I’d talk to Ashur.

I had no doubt Ashur would keep my secret. It was better that he knew so he could head off any future fallout.

I sighed.

I’d have to wait and see if he could accept who I was. Who I work for…who I worked for.

God, how was I going to give up the job that had given me my identity? I still had four months to change my mind.

Fuck, there was no way this couldn’t end in disaster.

Then there was the contract. It was my safety net in my relationship with Ashur. He’d offered the money and I’d accepted it. But now, especially after this week, I could see us truly making this a real marriage.

Would it be as simple as saying I wanted to tear up the contract?

What if I took the step and he turned his back on me when he learned about Solon? Ashur said he knew I’d hedged international law and accepted what I’d done as a way to save lives and to protect the innocent.

But would he feel the same when he learned that there was no hedging, I’d broken nearly every law of every country when it came to engaging with negotiating with terrorists and had no guilt whatsoever in doing it.

His whole election platform had been about doing the right thing, making decisions within the confines of the law and procedure, and working across party lines. He viewed vigilantism as undermining government stability. I couldn’t blame his views on his military career. He’d thought this way when I’d first met him. He’d always say, “If you don’t like the way things are run, then vote them out or work to pass new laws.”

The fact I’d engaged in espionage would be a hard pill for him to swallow.

He’d chiseled away so much of the protection I’d had surrounding my heart that I wasn’t sure I could handle his rejection.

Maybe it was better to focus on living out the terms of the agreement rather than risk giving him my love and having him turn his back on it.

Who are you kidding? He’s held your heart since you were eighteen. No wall you erect around your emotions will change how you feel about him.

Turning to my side, I looked at Ashur and caught him watching me.

“What are you thinking about so hard?” he asked.

No way was I going to tell him. I was feeling raw enough.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I couldn’t sleep either.”

He moved over to me, caging me with his giant arms.

“Stop worrying. We’re married. We’ll figure out the details as we go. I’m sure this first lady thing will be a breeze compared to your pro-bono work.”

And then there was the other thing I’d tried to forget over the last week.

My new role.

“Wrong, I’d rather deal with the hell of international litigation.” I set my hand on his shoulder. “I don’t know how to be the first lady. All I know is me.”

He leaned down until we were nose to nose. “You are the one I want. The woman who made something of herself on her terms. The woman who commands respect because she isn’t afraid to face off against the scariest motherfuckers in the world to protect an innocent child.”

“You say this now, but you may not feel the same when you learn everything I’ve done.”

“Do you really think I’m so innocent? When my plane went down in North Africa, do you really think I was there for a joy ride?”

I’d heard rumors over the years that Ashur and Veer had been spying for the government when their plane was shot down by a rebel group in South Sudan.

“You weren’t breaking American law. You were following orders.”

“Tara, you’re too good of a lawyer to break any law to a level you can’t talk your way out of.”

I almost grimaced. He viewed me in a way I never deserved. It would have been so much easier if he’d never wanted more from me and kept the business-only plan we’d agreed to in the beginning.

“Stop worrying. Have you not figured it out? I lo—”

I lifted my mouth to his, cutting off his words. He was tying me in knots, and if he said the words, I’d lose myself even more than I already had.

But he pulled back, pinning my arms above my head with one of his as he tugged my thighs apart and settled his naked body between my legs.

“I wasn’t finished.” He loomed over me, his gaze both sleepy and intense.

“Please, Ashu. Don’t.” A tear slipped past my eye.

“I get you aren’t ready to hear it but it doesn’t change how I feel.”

The tip of his cock slid along my dampening cleft.

“Why are you saying this? We have an agreement.”

He pushed into my swollen pussy, making me gasp and arch against his hard thrust.

“A piece of paper doesn’t change the fact we’ve always wanted each other.” He pulled out and slammed back in. “That what we felt for each other has never changed.”

Before I could retort he spoke again. “Don’t even think about denying this thing between us. This is more than sex, more than making a baby. It is more.”

“Why won’t you leave it alone?” I tried to tug my hands free, which only intensified his hold on my wrists and the pace of his cock pounding into me.

My body responded and a spasm shot through my core, contracting around his cock.

“Because I never skim over the truth, and the truth is that you belong to me.”

Ashur continued to stare into my eyes as he held my hip with each drive of his cock.

I couldn’t look away and I knew he saw how I felt. How I needed him. How lost I was in him.

“Ashu, please,” I whispered. And I wasn’t sure what I begged for, my orgasm or an end to the emotions he stirred in me.

As my body teetered on the cusp of release, my heart told me I’d only have him for a limited time. He saw so much in black and white, wrong and right. And I was a hodgepodge mixture of a technicolor rainbow.

If it came down to choosing between following the rules and breaking every law to get Ameera back, I’d break the laws in a heartbeat.

Another tear slid past my lids.

“Look at me.” Ashur bit my lower lip, bringing my focus to him. “This is us. Don’t ever forget what we are to each other.”

He cupped my breast, rolling the tip with his fingers, and then pinched the sensitive nub.

My gaze clouded as the pleasure-pain sent me over, and my release washed over me, back bowing and pussy squeezing in waves around his girth.

“You’re mine, Tara. You were always mine.”

“Yes,” I answered, digging my heels into the backs of his thighs. “As long as you want me.”

“Forever.” He pulled out to the tip and then slammed into my spasming pussy. “No other woman holds a candle to you.”

Ashur’s pace grew unsteady and a few moments later he came in hard spurts.

“Hi Leara,” I said as I entered the area leading to the Oval Office. “Is the meeting over?”

“Yes. You can go right in.”

I smiled and took the short hallway to the Oval Office.

The second Ashur and I had stepped through the doorway of the White House, Ashur was bombarded with requests and issues that required his immediate attention. One of them being a last-minute trade summit in Oslo that he’d have to leave for in two days’ time.

There went the hope we’d get to ease into our marriage and our roles.

Now it was four hours later and I had no idea what to do. I’d unpacked, explored, officially meet all the White House staff as first lady, and checked in to make sure everything was still on target for Ameera’s auction.

If only I had a pile of briefs to keep me occupied. No matter how much I dreaded the time-consuming task of reviewing case files, at least it would keep me occupied and not roaming the halls of the White House.

What the hell had I just thought? I was on a mission to become un-bored by seducing my husband.

I paused outside the door and waited until the guards opened it for me to walk through and then closed it behind me.

Ashur looked up from the papers he was reading and smiled.

My heart immediately skipped a beat. He was so handsome, and when he smiled it was breathtaking.

“Hello there, First Lady.”

“How’s it going, Mr. President?”

“Much better now that you’re here.” He stood and came around his desk. “Tell me not to go and I’ll stay here.”

“I can’t do that.” I shook my head. “You’ve wanted this summit for the past year. This is your opportunity to fix the relationships your predecessor destroyed.”

“I take it your dislike for Edgar hasn’t eased?”

Lifting a brow, I flicked Ashur’s tie with my fingers. “The only redeeming quality about that man is his wife. It will take two terms for you to undo half the shit that man did to this country.”

“Not everything he did while in office was bad.”

Furrowing my brow, I scowled. “He negated anything redeemable about him the day he said the American people had better things to do then worry about immigrant girls in another country whether they were forced to marry an older man or not.”

I remembered the first time the recording of Edgar discussing the captured American girls had leaked to the press. It still made me sick to think about. The audio file revealed Edgar had a tier for whom he considered to be an American citizen. He’d had the nerve to say that since those girls were the first generations born in the US, their value wasn’t as important as those who’d lived here for multiple generations.

I couldn’t wait until the day the bastard keeled over, then the world and sweet Amanda Edgar would be free of the asshole.

“Woo, Tiger. I see the fire burning in those eyes. Forget I said anything positive about him.” He slid an arm around my waist, drawing me to him and giving me a wicked grin.

I released a deep breath. “You riled me up on purpose.”

“What can I say? I love it when my wife gets in her ‘save the world from the pseudo-dictator’ mode.”

“I hope you remember this statement when I give you grief with my many crusades.”

“I think I can handle it.” As he said those words, his gaze softened and filled with an emotion I still couldn’t get used to seeing or accepting.

I hadn’t let him say the words on our honeymoon, but I knew how he felt.

I wanted to hear them, to accept them, to believe this thing between us would last beyond the contract, but would he still feel the same about me once he learned all the things I’d done and was still doing to undermine the laws he worked to uphold?

“Stop thinking, Tara. Accept what we are.”

“I do accept us.” I glanced to the side, not wanting him to see the uncertainty I felt.

He cupped my nape and pressed a thumb up the column of my throat until my chin was tilted so I could look into his eyes.

“No, baby. You want to trust in us but you fear it won’t last. I’ve told you. I’ll fight for us.”

“Ash.” I stood on tiptoes. “Don’t make promises you may not be able to keep.”

I covered his mouth with my fingers before he could argue. We stared at each other for a few seconds.

I wasn’t supposed to let it get to this level of emotion ever again. I should have protected myself. Hell, I should have protected him. I was going to destroy this man once again with deceit, but this time with was my own doing, not because someone else was forcing me to do it.

Ashur pulled my hand away and said, “You think too much, Mrs. Kumar. I believe I need to occupy your mind with something more important.” Then he sealed his lips against mine.

I let out a slow moan as his intoxicating taste invaded my mouth. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue past my lips and igniting my desire for him. All my worries and uncertainty were replaced by a lust-filled need.

He lifted me against him and maneuvered us until he reached the sofa in the far corner and sat down with me on top of him without breaking our embrace.

“I want to do something,” I murmured while continuing to nip on his soft lips.

“What?”

Sliding off him, I dropped to the floor between his legs. Slowly, I glided my hands up his thighs, feeling the muscles bunch as my fingers crept closer to his engorged erection.

Leaning down, I nuzzled the line of his cock behind the fabric of his pants.

“Tara, I thought you said this has been done.”

Was that panic and uncertainty in his voice?

Oh. Mr. President was anxious about the cameras. A sense of power flooded my system, and I wanted to see how far he’d let me go.

“I changed my mind. This isn’t something illicit. Besides—” I unbuckled his belt and then lowered his zipper, “—it’s my husband’s fantasy to have me on my knees in his office, sucking his cock.”

“There is something to be said when a fantasy becomes a reality.” He watched me with a devilish grin.

“Does this mean you’re going to let me have my wicked way with you in the office?”

“Absolutely, Mrs. Kumar. Especially since I turned off the surveillance when you came in.”

“So, you were expecting something scandalous to occur?”

“I knew it was a distinct possibility. You see, my wife craves my cock as much as I crave her pussy.”

Heat and desire sizzled through core. I couldn’t figure out why, but I loved it when he was crude and unrefined with his words.

His fingers slipped into my hair as I tugged at the waistband of his pants, pulling his shirt free and giving me access to his boxer briefs. The beautiful thick, hard length of his cock strained against the snub cotton, and with a slight shift of the fabric, it bobbed free, a hairsbreadth from my salivating mouth.

A man’s erection wasn’t supposed to be so appealing, so arousing, so tempting.

My tongue poked out, licking the drop of precum on his flared head before circling the crown three times. I gripped the back of his cock and then trailed the line from his sac to the weeping slit at the tip of his length, dipping my tongue into the ridge.

He let out a small hiss and tightened his hold in my hair.

He tilted my head back and gazed down at me with lust and need. “Open up, love. I want my cock to imprint itself into the back of your throat.”

“As you wish.” I opened my lips and he pushed in deep.

I had to immediately relax and swallow to open the back of my mouth and to not choke on his generous length.

A moan escaped his lips. “Yes, baby. That’s it. Fuck. I love that mouth of yours.”

I began a slow and steady rhythm. Moving up and down and following each stroke of my mouth with a squeeze in the same direction as my palm.

I pressed my thighs together, trying to alleviate some of my own need pulsing in my pussy.

He grabbed hold of my hair, moving it out of the way so he could watch me work his cock. “I love watching your lips as my cock fucks into your hot, wet mouth. It’s almost as good as your cunt.”

A shiver worked its way across my body and I had to touch myself. As I worked him, I pushed the finger of my free hand past the waistband of my pants and underwear through my soaked slit and to my aching clit.

A spasm shot through me, causing me to lose the tempo of my mouth on Ashur’s throbbing cock.

He immediately tugged my mouth off him with a hard jerk that had me gasping for air and crying out with an insatiable need to continue.

He glared down his body. “Did you forget, unless I give you permission, you don’t get to make yourself come? Your orgasms belong to me.”

I stopped the motion of my fingers. My eyes watered, desperate for the orgasm that was almost on me.

“Please, Ashu.” I moaned.

“Come here.”

I released his cock, pulled my hands from my pussy, and moved up his body. Before I knew what was happening, I found myself face forward against the back of the couch with Ashur behind me. He unfastened my pants, shoved them down, and impaled me on his cock. I cried out, arching against him.

He set a hard, fast pace that left me breathless and mindless. Within a few strokes I was going over, and barely two seconds later, Ashur followed.