I took a deep breath as I made my way to Ashur’s office. I knew what I was about to do was right for all of us. I needed to leave town and take the spotlight off Ashur and his administration.

At first the news outlets believed the pictures were a hoax, then some began to question the various incidents I’d been involved in over the years. All the attention had also brought an uproar of anger and finger-pointing from Ashur’s critics about what he knew regarding my past international work. There were threats of a federal inquiry.

Ashur hadn’t said much about the accusation, except to release a statement questioning the validity of the pictures since I was pregnant and hadn’t left the White House for weeks due to morning sickness. What surprised me most was the fact that the majority of Americans were more focused on a White House baby than the fact I may have been involved in an illegal international operation.

I knew I wasn’t in the clear, but at least the heat on me wasn’t as bad as it could have been. It was more the cold between Ashur and me that I couldn’t live with any longer.

My dream of having a relationship with Ashur like the one my parents shared was long gone. The only hope I could have was one where we could peacefully tolerate each other.

I turned the corner and stopped in front of Leara’s desk. “Is he in?”

“Go right in, Mrs. Kumar.”

The guards opened the door before I approached and closed them once I passed over the threshold to the Oval Office.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you,” Ashur said as he set his pen down and pushed back from his desk.

“I know I’m the last person on this earth you want to see, but I had to give you this.”

I set the revised contract on Ashur’s desk with shaky hands.

He watched me with his penetrating gaze. “What it this?”

“It’s something I should have done long ago.” I stepped away from his desk.

He picked up the envelope and pulled out the papers. After scanning them, he looked up. “What does this mean?”

“It means you’re free.” I bit my lip, swallowed, and squared my shoulders. “I’ll leave for Seattle tomorrow.”

“Why?”

“I can’t live the way we’ve been living any longer and I know how you feel so I’m not sure what else is left to say.”

“What about the baby?”

I covered my stomach. “I’d never keep you away from our children.”

“The contract says two children.” His words were cool but I felt the storm inside him.

I inhaled deeply, trying to hold in the tears burning the backs of my eyes. “I’m carrying twins, so I’ve met the requirements you stipulated.”

“When did you find out?”

“During my appointment, the day after you learned my secrets.” I closed my eyes for a second, trying to keep my emotions from overwhelming me.

“That was a week ago.”

“I wasn’t hiding the information from you. I wasn’t sure how to bring it up when we haven’t spent a single moment alone in the last seven days. And there is the fact you couldn’t even look at me without anger.”

“Tara.”

“Don’t, Ashur. I have to figure out my life. I promise I’ll come back. No one will suspect what is going on between us. I’ll be the dutiful first lady, but outside of that we’ll continue to live separate lives as we’ve done for the last month.”

“Are you going to stay with Solon?”

“Yes, but not in the same capacity as I did for the past ten years. I won’t ever intentionally put my babies’ lives in danger.”

“Then what will you do?”

“It’s classified.”

A frown crossed his face, as well as irritation.

“All you need to know is that I won’t be in the field. My role is more behind the scenes.”

“I…” He hesitated, scratching a hand down his face. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“You don’t get a vote. Now if we are done, I have a helicopter ready to take me to the airfield.” My hand trembled as I tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.

I kept my composure when Hamir had held a gun to my head, not showing even an ounce of emotion, and now I was shaking like a leaf.

I could blame it on the pregnancy but I knew that would be a lie. I was accepting my fate. The one I’d created.

“So that’s it?”

“Yes.” I bit my lip as I turned to the door. I had to get out of the room or I’d lose it.

“Tara.”

“What do you want from me, Ashur?”

“I wanted you to love me as much as I love you.”

I gripped the doorknob and said over my shoulder, “I do. It never stopped for me. I know I was stupid to deny it, and I hurt you by keeping who I was a secret, but my only excuse was that I was protecting myself and countless others, including you.”

“Then the money I offered you wasn’t the reason you agreed to marry me?”

I shook my head. What point was there in denying something I’d known all along but refused to acknowledge?

“I used the excuse of money to justify wanting to marry you even with all our history.” I wiped at the wetness streaming down my cheeks. “What does it matter? I fucked up. Now I know it’s too late.

“The only thing I can promise is that the picture controversy will die down soon. I’ve spoken to the board in Geneva. They are going to release a statement through one of their Asian charities claiming the woman in the picture isn’t me and they have no connection with me. The woman who posed as my decoy in past missions will be named as the unknown assassin. She’s retiring and plans to assume a new identity so there won’t be any blowback.”

“So that’s it?”

“What else is there? Our names will be cleared.”

“I mean for us.”

“I can’t live this existence where we barely spend time together outside of fucking. I need more of you than your body even if you think I don’t deserve it.” I took a deep breath and then said, “Goodbye, Ashu.”

I opened the door and walked out.

Casey met me as I came down the hall from the Oval Office. His face was a wash of worry and concern.

“All my things on the copter?”

He nodded, following my brisk steps out of the residence. I had to get away as fast as possible before I completely fell apart.

“Mrs. Kumar, are you positive this is what you want to do? Is there no hope?”

“How would you feel if the woman you loved kept all the secrets I did?”

“You forget he married you under false pretenses too.”

I snorted. “Not the same thing. He concocted his bargain as a way to get the woman he loved back.”

“So did you. He’s been the love of your life from the moment you mentioned your broken heart during your first-round training. The fact you worked for Solon had nothing to do with why you married him.”

“I guess that all depends on how one views things.”

I glanced behind me to the windows that lined the side wall of the Oval Office. Ashur stood there watching me. We held gazes for a few moments before he said something to someone and walked away.

My heart shattered.

And it ends. As of this moment, I’d live the life Ashur’s parents lived. In public as a couple, but in private as strangers. The dream of having what Mummy and Dad had was no longer possible.

At least I’d have my babies. I rubbed the small swell of my belly.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, I waited for security to open the helicopter door so I could board, but instead the propellers slowed.

“What’s going on?” I asked Casey, who looked as confused as I was.

“Let me see. You stay right here with Joel while I figure out what’s going on.” Casey walked toward the security building.

At that moment, two of Ashur’s security approached me.

“Mrs. Kumar. Please come with us.”

“Why?” I folded my arms. “I have a government plane waiting for me and the longer you delay me, the more it will cost the taxpayers.”

The two men looked at each other as if they were scared of me.

“Please, ma’am. This is a direct order from the president.”

An order. What the fuck could we have left to say?

“Is that right?” I glared at the agents who took a step away from me. “Fine, lead the way.”

I stomped behind them until we reached Ashur’s office.

The second the door opened, I stalked toward him, letting anger fill me instead of the sadness and tears floating under the surface of my composure. “What do you want? I’m exhausted and just want to go home.”

“This is your home.”

“No. My home is in Seattle.”

“You sold your house, remember?”

“I’m going to stay in the lake house I had built for my parents. They won’t mind me staying there.”

“I don’t want you to go.” He searched my face. “Stay, Tara.”

“Why? I don’t fit here.” I gestured to the area around us. “I don’t have a purpose here. Give me one good reason why I should stay.”

He grabbed my hand in his as I tried to poke him in the chest.

“Because you love me.”

I tried to pull my hand away but his grip tightened.

“It’s not enough.”

“What about the fact I love you?”

I kept quiet.

“Then stay with me for my money. You see, in the last twenty minutes, my net worth doubled.”

I clenched my jaw, glancing at the papers I’d given him thrown on a side table and bit out, “That is not funny.”

“I’m not laughing, Tara. Do you know what it was like to see the details of that document? You gave me everything back, even the house I gave you as a wedding present.”

“It didn’t belong to me. You may have offered me the bargain as a way to get me back, but I accepted it without question. I got the easier end of the arrangement.”

“Liar. Marrying me meant you tied yourself to me for life. It was far from the easier alternative.” He ran a thumb along the skin of my wrist.

“My reasons don’t matter. Please let me go.” I tried to tug my arm free again but this time he laid it flat against his shirt. The heat of the skin underneath the fabric warmed through to my fingertips. “I can’t do this, Ashur.”

“Let me say this, and if you still feel like you have to leave then I’ll let you go.”

My shoulders slumped, and I resigned myself for whatever he had to tell me. If it would make it quicker for me to leave, then I’d do it.

“The press is right about me. You are my Achilles’ heel. You make me softer, kinder. You get me to be more flexible on issues I tend to view as black and white. I’m not the ridged asshole when you’re around.”

“Whatever. I don’t have that kind of power over you.”

“You have no idea. Half the Republicans think I’ve been brainwashed by my wife’s feminine wiles. I’m no longer the conservative in Independent clothing that they voted for. I’ve sided with the Democrats on key issues and that is essentially telling them to fuck off. And the fact I don’t give two shits about their opinion makes me an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole. You just like people to think that so they’re scared of you.”

“No, baby.” He cupped my face and it took all my will not to turn into the warmth of his palm. “You’re the only one who thinks this. I can be an ass. Hell, I was an ass to you. Why do you think I was so angry with you? You held my heart in your hands and you crushed it. I tried to show you that you meant more to me than our agreement and you kept mentioning our contract. And then when I learned about Solon, I was more hurt that you kept a piece of yourself from me than the fact you were an agent for a secret organization.”

“I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know this now. Seeing the revised contract gutted me. You detailed all the duties you’d perform as a first lady as if it was a job description. It was so cold, and I’d thought our original contract was cold. You went so far as to state you’d agree to an annulment if you didn’t meet the requirements of the agreement.”

“I just wanted you to know I wouldn’t shrug off my duties as your wife, even if we weren’t really together.”

“We are together. God, I’d give anything to get back what we had during our honeymoon.” He dropped his forehead against mine. “I’m fucking this up. I’m not good with emotions. Maybe it was my upbringing or all the years I spent in the military, but I tend to be too serious.”

“What are you saying?” My heart was beating so fast, it felt like it would explode out of my chest.

“That I don’t want to do this without you. I love you, Tara. I need you.”

I wanted to tell him that I needed him too, but held it back.

When I remained quiet, he tilted my chin up so he could stare into my tear-filled eyes.

“Say something, baby.”

“I want to think this can work, but how will you deal with what I do? I am part of an organization whose sole purpose is to circumvent the law to achieve its goals.”

“You make it sound like you’re selling arms instead of trying to free people caught in the net of human trafficking.”

“I’m serious. You have strict beliefs about what’s right and wrong. Can you live with the fact I will constantly be looking for loopholes in US and international law for our efforts, while you are trying to uphold those laws? Being with me could cost you your political career.”

“Baby, I’m not sure if you realized this, but I’m not the squeaky-clean guy you think I am. I worked with your pal Xander under the radar and used my private funds to enter an illegal auction in a country that doesn’t have the best relationship with the US. If anyone found out about that, what you did would be considered child’s play.

“As for my political career,” he continued, “I’d give it up without a thought if it meant I had you. Besides, it isn’t as if I don’t have another career waiting in the wings. Trust me, Tara. You wanted me to fight for you when we were younger, and I didn’t. You have to know what I said the other night was bullshit. We do have something to fight for. I’m fighting for you now.”

I stared at him, trying to process all that he’d said.

Tears spilled down my face.

He’d put his reputation on the line not for the sole purpose of saving Ameera, but for me. He loved me so much that he’d set his strict rules to the side. I’d wanted him to fight for me and he’d done it in a way that I could never have expected.

He’d tried over and over to tell me how he felt about me and I pushed it away, fearing what the future would bring, but I had no future without him. He was it for me. Always had been. Always would be.

“Say something.”

His amber gaze pleaded with me, breaking the last of my resistance. I wiped the dampness from my cheeks and then touched his face.

He released an apprehensive breath and asked, “Are you in?”

I nodded, lifting my lips to his. “I’m in.”

“Thank God.” He fisted my hair and returned my kiss.

My body immediately responded with the need and desire I’d tried to push away. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he cupped my ass, lifting me against him.

“I love you,” I murmured against his mouth. “You’re the only man I have ever loved and will love.”

He broke our kiss and smiled. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to say it.”

“I promise to tell you every day for the rest of our lives, Mr. President.”

“I look forward to it, First Lady.”