A week after returning from Pakistan, I sat in the same room where I’d dressed for my wedding and prepared to have my first official dinner as the first lady. I was feeling jittery and restless. Like I needed to do something with my energy.

Maybe my anxiety had to do with the fact that I kept waiting for the shoe to drop from Hamir’s death.

International outlets had reported a rebel group loyal to the Burki, the original ruling clan of Janestan, as the ones responsible for Hamir’s and Tarik’s deaths. It helped that the Burki family had claimed they’d received word of an assassination plan to slaughter any and all dependents of their clan gave weight to the necessity of removing Hamir from power.

Thankfully, Kartik had used his connections to erase any and all evidence of our involvement. He’d gone as far as staging Hamir’s and Tarik’s bodies near the Janestan boarder to keep nosey reporters away from the area where everything went down.

This should have eased my mind, but all I kept thinking was that it seemed too neat and tidy for a mission of this caliber.

Then there was the fact that I’d had no contact with Ameera after we landed on Kartik’s estate. Solon had essentially whisked her away to an undisclosed location. I knew it was standard procedure after a hostage situation, but all I wanted was to have a few words with her and give her a big hug. She was my sister in everything but blood and I couldn’t reach her.

I released a deep breath, shifted in my seat, and rubbed my back.

Damn, my body still ached from the rescue. Fieldwork was no longer my favorite thing.

Normally, it would only take me a few days of locking myself in my house to recover. But this time, my body was screaming for sleep and sex. The need for sleep was normal but the desire for sex was a new one. And the fact, Ashur had spent the last ten days in Oslo and then traveled to various countries in Europe hadn’t helped.

I had needs, and the man wasn’t here to satisfy them.

Ameera had told me that sex quenched the adrenaline and endorphins released from high-stress situations.

Thank God Ashur’s plane had landed a half hour ago. The moment we were alone tonight, I planned to jump his ass and not come up for air until I was satisfied.

“Drink. This will settle your stomach.” Walter, my makeup artist, finished applying my lipstick and then set a sparkling water bottle with a straw in front of me.

“Thanks.” I picked up the water and drank deep. “How’d you know?”

“I have my ways. Plus, I can tell when a woman is restless. And that my dear, you are.”

“Since when did you become the expert on women?”

“Since forever. I have five sisters. I’m the last-ditch effort to get a boy and I’m the father of two girls.”

I smiled at the mention of Walter’s twins. He and his partner of fifteen years had wanted to adopt for over a decade, with no success. Then they were given the opportunity to have biological children of their own via a surrogate. They jumped at the chance and now he was the proud daddy of two four-year-olds who adored him.

“How are Allison and Trinity?”

“Nice try.” Walter closed the lid to his makeup case and came toward me with a compact and brush. “No trying to change the subject. What gives? Man trouble already?”

If he only knew. Well, that wasn’t true. I’d have to be around Ashur to have trouble with him.

When the fuck had I become so needy?

I lifted my hand to pinch the bridge of my nose.

“I swear if you touch your face, I will smack your hand and I don’t care if you are the first lady.”

I scowled at Walter, who was putting away makeup pallets in his roller case and had his back to me.

“How can you see what I’m doing from over there?”

“It’s a bad habit you’ve always had. Why do you think I threaten you with bodily harm if you mess with the perfection I created?”

“Conceited much?” I muttered.

“It’s not conceited if it’s a fact. Now what gives? From the news reports, you’ve been locked away in your ivory tower sick from a severe cold.”

I winced inside and then glanced at Casey, who was standing in the corner trying not to smirk at my irritation. He’d insisted it was best to leak I was sick to the press so they wouldn’t snoop, because no one wanted to see a runny-nosed first lady. And I guessed he was right, since all requests for interviews and meetings had stopped for the last week.

“Stop stalling and tell me what the issue is so Walter can help solve your woes.”

“I doubt you can fix my issue. I’m just…”

Walter finished my sentence. “Horny?”

My cheeks reddened. “Umm.”

“So, I take it the ‘hot president’ is a rock star in bed.”

“I’m not answering that.”

“You’re such a prude sometimes. But I’m glad he thaws your ice-queen, all-business demeanor. It’s nice to know there’s a man that can get you all hot and bothered, even if he is a politician.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“Don’t scowl, you’ll ruin all my work. It was a compliment. Although I’ve never envisioned you being a girl who’s content doing charity projects while her politician husband is off saving the world.”

That was something I was going to have to get used to too, but after Ameera’s rescue, it was what I’d set as my future.

I couldn’t live the uncertainty of the high-stress life anymore, especially if Ashur and I were going to have a baby. I wanted to give our child the life my parents had given me—safe, secure, and full of love despite the craziness of the outside world.

“Who says I can’t save the world with my projects? If you remember, No Bride was something I started.”

“I see your point. Then why are you so restless?”

“Because, as you said. She’s horny,” Ashur’s deep raspy voice answered from behind us.

I turned my head in Ashur’s direction and nearly swallowed my tongue. He was dressed to the nines in a tux similar to the one he’d worn to our wedding day. He looked debonair with an edge of danger.

His eyes burned with desire adding fuel to the inferno of need pulsing deep in my pussy.

“Let’s go, Mrs. Kumar. We are due in the reception room in ten minutes.” He walked toward me with a wicked grin. Then, as I stood, he whispered in my ear, “And if you’re a good girl, I promise to fuck you senseless and make up for neglecting you these past ten days.”

I released a sigh of relief as I sat down on my favorite bench in the rose garden and kicked off my heels.

The reception and dinner had gone off without a hitch and now the dancing was in full swing. All in all, my worry about not knowing what I was doing was more my uneasiness with my role than the actual duties themselves. If I could learn the ropes and become a top-notch Solon agent, then I could suck it up and do my best as the first lady.

“Can I join you, Tara?”

I smiled and turned to the Viking who approached me. Xander Alexi was what some would call a cross between a Norwegian and Greek god. He had the striking blond hair and crystal blue eyes from his mother’s Nordic genetics and the tanned golden hue and long lean build of his father’s Mediterranean side. I remembered when Sam had first introduced me to him, I’d thought he was a pretty face with little in the brains department, when in fact he was a member of Mensa and probably one of the smartest people on campus.

We’d had an attraction from the start, nothing like what happened with Ashur but one that was filled with fun, friendship, and mutual enjoyment. Our affair hadn’t gone beyond our years at Harvard, but our friendship had developed into something more like a brother-sister relationship. Enough so that I’d introduced him to the woman who’d become his wife and the love of his life.

“Xander. How are you?” I gave him a quick hug. “Where’s Carina?”

“Over there.” He gestured over his shoulder to the windows.

In the distance a beautiful brunette danced with Xander’s father. She was a little over six months pregnant, wearing four-inch heels with her gown and smiling without a care in the world.

“Those are serious pregnancy goals.”

“My love would kill someone if they tried to take her designer shoes from her. I have a feeling she’ll be in labor and walking to the car in her favorite Louboutin sandals.”

“Come sit.” I tapped the bench. “Take a load off.”

He joined me and we stared into the night.

“You might as well tell me what’s on your mind,” I said. “I can tell you’re dying to say something.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be at the wedding.”

“Honestly I’m glad you didn’t brave the chaos. Ash and I considered running away at least twenty times.”

“That would have made some amazing headlines.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Thankfully, neither of us were brave enough to actually go through with it.”

“Do you regret not letting the world know you two were already married?”

My smile dropped. “Who told you?”

“I have my sources.” Xander kept his gaze straight. “Ashur did exactly what I would have done if I lost Carina and had an opportunity to get her back. What I want to know is why you would marry him? And don’t say money, because that’s bullshit. If you truly needed money, all you’d have to do was ask Samina or me. We’d have happily handed over a chunk of our inheritances.”

“You know why.”

I could never hide anything from Xander. This was why we made better friends and lovers. He called me on my bullshit.

“Does he know?”

“No.”

“Going to tell him?”

I stayed quiet. How could I tell Ashur I wanted to tear up the contract when he may not want me at all once he learned what I’d done or who I was?

“I’m going to take your silence as a ‘I’m thinking about it’.”

“You’re such an ass.”

“Takes one to know one. Now I have another question for you.”

I glanced at him. He was giving me his serious vibe all of a sudden.

“Want to tell me how Ameera is doing after your adventure in Pakistan?”

I glanced around to make sure no one heard him. If Xander knew about the operation, he was involved in things more than his shipping empire.

“Who the fuck do you work for, Xan?”

“It doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that we’re on the same side.”

I knew it. I should have picked up on it years ago. Xander moved too fluidly for an international playboy. Even when he seemed relaxed, he would scan his surroundings. I’d chalked it up to an eccentricity of being known throughout the world and wanting to keep an eye out for paparazzi.

“MI6?” I asked knowing he would never admit it.

He smirked and then countered, “Solon?”

“So that explains why we get along so well. We both have secrets neither of our significant others can know about.”

“Carina knows. I told her as soon as I knew she was the one.”

“Really?”

“Yes. She deserved to know and make the decision if she could live with the life I led. Ashur deserves the same. His future could depend on it.”

Guilt hit me. All I’d done was keep secrets from Ashur. Even when he tried and tried to get me to open up, I kept quiet. Now on top of everything, I’d gotten involved in an incident that could destroy his career.

“How do I tell him?”

“That’s something I can’t help you with. All I can say is do it sooner rather than later.” He picked up my hand and kissed my fingers. “Hamir’s sons have started a full-scale search for anyone with information on how their father and brother died. They know as well as we do that the Barki don’t have the means or capacity to launch an attack on their father or his convoy. This is about to blow up. Make sure Ashur is prepared.”

I released a deep breath. I had no choice. I couldn’t let Ashur find out from someone else.

“I’ll do it tonight.”

A throat cleared behind us, making me stiffen.

“Mrs. Kumar,” Casey said. “The president is looking for you.”

I turned in the direction of the ballroom windows and winced. Ashur had a death glare focused in our direction.

This was fabulous—not only would I have to explain my sordid past, but now I’d have to explain why I was sitting in a garden with my ex.

There went any hopes of a night of hot, raunchy sex.