What on earth was I thinking, agreeing to another date with Chase Donovan? I mean, it’s not like he hasn’t shown me exactly who he is, twice. I couldn’t be so shallow that it was just about that sexy wavy chestnut hair or those light blue eyes that reminded me of the perfect summer day. I just couldn’t get enough of him, that was sad and desperate and true.

I loved the idiot. That was the only excuse for why I’d spent an hour getting ready, buffing and moisturizing, contouring and scrunching my hair in to soft touchable curls. I slipped into a deep pink silk dress that hugged my curves and hid my flaws, and stepped into nude stilettos that lessened the height disparity between us. I looked good, which was good because I wanted to look good. I wanted Chase to regret walking away from me so easily.

I wanted him to want me. I wanted to have him and I wanted it not to hurt when he walked away in the morning. Because no matter what gestures he pulled out of his back pocket—interviews, podcasts and my favorite meals—I knew those gestures were little more than payback. He felt bad for leaving me hanging, that’s all.

“Whatever happens, happens,” I told my reflection, but neither of us believed that crap. Not tonight.

When Chase’s knock sounded at the door, I took three deep breaths and went to greet him with a smile that felt wooden and fake. “Chase. You look nice. Come on in.”

“You look stunning, Kenzi. That color on your lips,” he licked his own lips in response. A purely physical, purely male response.

“Thanks.” I grabbed a wrap and my bag, and then I was trapped inside a locked car with the sexy, masculine scent of Chase. “So, where are we going?”

“To dinner. Did you create anything new today?”

I blinked at his quick change of topic. “No. I added inventory to the online store.” It wasn’t my favorite part of the business, but I was learning to love it.

“I brought you something.” He nodded to the box in the back seat, grinning wide when I bent over the seat to grab it. “I hope you love it.”

That little thread of emotion in his voice told me I would love it, and not just because I loved him. Sucking in a shaky breath, I opened the box and gasped. “There were tons of Colombian seeds for everything from flowers to fruits and plants. “This is…just perfect, Chase.” It was more than perfect. It spoke of a man who knew me, who paid attention to the details. The same man who’d left three orchids on my stoop instead of roses. A man who brought me seeds instead of trinkets. How could those actions not be love?

“Good perfect, right?”

“Yeah, good.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the question. It really was perfect. But it didn’t make sense, especially compared to his other actions. Which actions were his true self? It was impossible to know, but I had to know. If nothing came of tonight, that would be it. My Chase dreams would be over.

“You okay?”

I looked up and found Chase’s worried face standing beside me with the door open. “Fine. I guess I spaced out for a bit.”

“Oh. Well, come on. I’m starved.”

He reached for my hand but I pulled back, stopping him. “Why did you really leave?”

“To prove to myself that I could, that my feelings for you wouldn’t hold me back.”

“I never-,”

“I know,” he stopped me. “It was about me. My feelings for you were mixed up with my feelings about basically retiring from traveling. I fucked up, but I’m hoping it’s not too late.” He grabbed both of my hands between his, gaze rested on the pile in my lap. “It’s not too late, is it?”

I swallowed at the raw intensity of that simple question. It would probably never be too late, but how could I trust him to stick around again? “I don’t want it to be, Chase. But you do have a tendency to run.”

His gaze darkened and he stepped closer, trapping me against the seat as his hands slid up my thighs. “You’re right, but there’s something different this time.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“I was miserable in Colombia without you, so I can run but only with you. It turns out, I can’t live without you.”

“You mean that?” Not that my heart cared, she was already soaring, bouncing around in there trying to leap into his large, capable hands.

“I do. I mean it with all my heart.” He took my mouth in a slow, hot kiss that melted my whole heart. Except it ended much too soon. “Let’s go eat.” He pulled me across the parking lot and into the vibrant colored Indian restaurant with the most delicious aromas wafting around.

“This place smells divine!”

He laughed and pressed a kiss to my head. “I can’t wait to eat,” he whispered in my ear, making me shiver.

“Me either. You can tell me all about your travels in India over dinner.”

“You’ve got a deal, babe. Our reservation is in thirty minutes, but we’re meeting someone at the bar.”

“We are? I thought this was a date.”

“It is, but this is to tell you that I love you and I hear you, and I understand.”

His words made no sense, at least not until we entered the shoebox bar area and I saw none other than Frank Phillips at the bar sipping a Manhattan. “Kenzi, Chase, so glad you could make it.”

I didn’t quite understand how my date had turned into a business meeting, but now I felt uneasy. “Mr. Phillips, what are you doing here?”

“Well I thought about what you said, so I bought some of your products. They’re damn good.” He flashed a look over at Chase, who joined a pretty blond I assumed was Mrs. Phillips, at the other end of the bar.

“I’m glad you liked them. I don’t know what Chase said to you, but-,”

“Let me tell you a secret Ms. O’Brien.” His eyes gleamed with amusement and I leaned forward, intrigued. “While I am a God fearing man, the truth is a woman made very nasty accusations against me so I just don’t meet with single women. But what you said about the kind of people you do business with, it struck me.”

“Oh, well, thank you. I appreciate that.”

“That’s all I wanted to say. Call and set up a meeting when you’re ready.”

Stunned, I nodded as I watched him join his wife and kiss her cheek, his eyes still shining with love after all these years. I wanted that and I wanted it with the man laughing along with the happy couple.

I just had to muster up the courage to go after him.

* * *

“That was a really nice thing you did, Chase.” And watching the pink stain on his cheeks heat up only made me love him more. “I wasn’t sure I still wanted to work with him, but the decision is mine.”

“I want you to see, to believe that I’m someone you can rely on. I want to be here for you, I will be, Kenzi. Always.”

Those were nice words and my heart gobbled them up faster than Chase knocked back the samosas. “I want to believe you,” I told him because it was true. Mostly. The full truth was that my heart was all the way on board but my brain was urging a bit of circumspection and given the events of the past couple weeks, I was Team Brain right now.

“But I haven’t given you a reason to, I know. But I will.”

“Was that what the Frank Phillips thing was about?” Because the only thing that would be worse than Chase walking away again was if he did it all out of some misplaced sense of obligation.

“No,” he sat back and finished chewing his samosa. “You always supported me, going back to when we were kids. You told me to go travel the world, soak up the experience I so desperately craved back then. No one else knew about my dreams back then, not until I left after our night together.”

“I just wish you would have woken me up, told me about your big opportunity. I would have been happy for you and maybe I would have been left with good memories of that night.” As I said the words and thought about that night, though, I wasn’t angry anymore. I’ll probably always think about that night with bittersweet memories. But I was healing and forgiving and shit, so I felt better.

“I wish I could give that night back to you, do it over somehow.” He seemed so genuine, his blue eyes tormented yet determined.

“Yeah well, I’m not the first girl to wish her first time had gone differently.” The shock on his face told me something I had long suspected. He had no idea of my virgin status before that night.

“Shit.” He leaned forward, a predatory smile on his face. “Then I’m determined to spend the rest of our lives making up for that night.” His gaze held a promise I was desperate for him to keep.

“That sounds promising.” My voice was a husky purr as desire grabbed a hold of me, held me in her firm grip. Luckily the waiter chose that moment to appear with our food, or else I might have done something silly like jump in his lap and beg him to take me.

The table filled with several dishes including butter chicken, lamb vindaloo and some lentil dish Chase insisted would change my world. “We’re going to have plenty of leftovers,” he said, eyes huge and excited. “Or it will allow us to refuel later. Quickly.”

We ate in silence for a few minutes, letting the flavors settle on our tongues. It was all so good and flavorful, I wanted to forget that I was sitting across from the man I loved and just inhale everything. “Oh, that is delicious.”

His laugh was low and deep, full of amusement. “I do love a woman who enjoys good food.”

He said it again and again. Chase Donovan loved me. Was in love with me. The words rolled off his tongue so easily that I was starting to believe them. “You do? So, if I ordered a salad right now?”

He grinned playfully. “I’d still love you, but I would secretly judge you.”

“I think I’m okay with that,” I told him honestly, because being loved by Chase, I had a feeling, would be incredible. The air between us changed, crackled with the intensity of the electricity arcing between us. It was time. “Chase,” I began.

“Kenzi,” he started at the same time. “You can go first.”

Oh good because I wasn’t nervous or anything. At all. “Thanks.” I knew what I wanted to say, but not how to say it. “When you left the first time it hurt, but I knew you would leave eventually to go to college or see the world. It was the leaving without a word that really upset me.”

“I should have done plenty of things differently.”

I nodded my agreement and kept going. “This time though, it hurt more because loving you and having you walk away? Well, it pretty much sucks.”

He laughed and shook his head. “Is it wrong that I’m glad you were as miserable without me as I was without you?”

An affectionate smile curved my lips. “It is, but I feel the same way so I guess we can be bad together.”

Chase sat back and relaxed, kicking his feet up on the booth beside me with a wide grin on his face. “I like what I’m hearing so far.”

We sat there for several long minutes just staring at each other with goofy smiles on our face. This was it, my moment to go after this beautiful, intelligent, funny man, and make him mine. “I love you, Chase.”

He froze, eyes wide as his fork clattered to his plate. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Chase. I have since about the ninth grade so I figured it was time that I let you in on the secret.” He smiled and leaned in, grabbing my hands in his.

“So now that you’re head over heels in love with me,” he began with a laughing smile.

“I don’t think that’s what I said.”

“Maybe not,” he shrugged, “but we all know that’s what you meant.” He straightened and pretended to turn his laughing expression serious. “As I was saying, now that you’ve admitted to being head over heels in love with me, how about we make this fake engagement real?”

It took a long moment for his words to sink in but when I looked down at his open hand, a white gold lotus flower setting showed off a winking diamond with sparkling emerald petals on either side. “Chase!” I gasped and covered my mouth but the tears couldn’t be hidden. “Are you serious?”

“Damn right I am sweetheart. I love you. Hell, I love everything about you. You’re sweet and sexy and sassy, but you’re a hard worker, you don’t take shit from anyone and you are so kind to everyone, even when they don’t deserve it.” He sighed, sliding the ring on my left finger before he brushed a kiss on each of my knuckles. “You’re too damn good for me, Kenzi. You always were. But I love you Kenz and I want you to be more than my friend. I want you to be my wife, the mother of my children, my partner in life. Lord knows we’ll need it in this crazy little town.”

I had to laugh because he was so right. “You know we’ll be the talk of Truly for at least the next decade, right?”

“As long as you’re by my side, Kenz, they can talk about us forever.” His lips brushed the inside of my hand and up to my wrist, making me shiver as tears trekked down my face. “Kenzi Rainbow O’Brien, will you stand up with me in front of our insane friends and family and promise to love me?”

“Yes,” she grinned.

“To cherish me?”

“Definitely.”

“To lean on me when you need me?”

“As long as you promise to do the same,” my smile grew impossibly wider at the twinkle in his eyes.

“To let me love up on you whenever the mood strikes?”

“Always. I can’t wait to be your wife, Chase.”

“Good,” he growled and in two quick moves he was seated beside me, one hand on my thigh, the other sifting through my hair. “Because I can’t wait to be married to you either.” His lips brushed my neck while his hand stroke the soft skin of my leg. “Can we get out of here yet?”

I laughed and moved his hand away. “I call dibs on the vindaloo during the first re-fuel.”

His look darkened a second before his lips crashed down on mine, a flash fire of a kiss, short but hot. “I love you enough to cede the vindaloo.”

“Then we’ve got a pretty good shot at forever.” And to me, that sounded truly perfect.

* * *