The road back to her was long and winding—and laced with pain that was impossible to forget.
To hear Noel tell it, they had the supreme hook-up. Dr. Lillian Palmer would siphon off the excess from her revolving door of pharmaceutical reps and see to it that the pills made their way into Noel’s waiting hands. However, the good doctor was either too bold or too desperate, and she was willing to take things a step further.
Along with the pills, she promised to give the Blood Brothers signed prescription slips. All Noel or any of the other boys had to do was fill in the lucky recipient’s name. This gave Noel’s entire scheme an air of legitimacy. The doc was the one taking the greatest risk should the bottom fall out, and Kane quietly vowed that he would try to help her if he got the chance to talk to her alone.
But for a long time, Noel did not allow that.
“Why the long face, kid?”
Whenever Noel spoke to him now, his voice came out through a triumphant sneer. Kane longed to curl his fists and pound his smug face into a leaking pulp of blood and pus. Angeline and Theo were gone for nearly three months when Noel, high off his own stash and the power that he now wielded without impunity, played at being his friend again.
“Kane, you think I was harsh with you, right?”
That word fit; but, inhumane was better. Kane’s lip quivered, as Noel slipped from behind his desk and shook his shoulder like the protective big brother that he had always wanted—but that was never going to be Noel White.
“Yeah,” Noel continued, as he took a pull from his beer and lit another cigarette. “Big dick, huh?”
Kane offered no objection.
“But that piece of ass had you all messed up,” Noel said. “She got you busted, and then she expected you to play house like nothing had happened.”
As much as it hurt to think of Angeline, missing Theo was sometimes worse. Little guy was supposed to be his chance to right the wrongs of his own father, and now the kid would grow up alone. Sure, Angeline would do her thing, and she would probably do it well. He could almost hear her telling the kid that his daddy had to go away to keep them safe. However, what comfort would that really be when Theo saw other boys with their dads? Kane had failed to give Theo the one thing that he needed most—to just stick around.
“One day you’ll thank me,” Noel said.
That day would never come, and Kane stared his imaginary mentor down with cold eyes. Noel’s cigarette was hanging from his lips, and Kane wanted to snatch it and shove the flaming butt into his scar and hear him scream. However, at the last second, he stopped. He had to toe the line and keep his head down.
Noel could still find Angeline, and Kane would sooner die than see her back in his rough arms.
“I gotta tap the keg,” Kane said, and he left the office with his shoulders slumped and his heart heavy.
Ben had to know that Kane was down, as he sat in a corner and nursed the same beer for over an hour. Sitting at his side, Kane inched away and saw Ben pull a fresh smoke out of his crumpled pack.
“Want to bum one?” Ben asked.
Taking it without a word, he pressed the smooth paper pressed between his fingers. Then, Ben lit a match on the heel of his boot so Kane could take a long, slow drag. “Better, man?” Ben asked, as Kane exhaled.
“Good as I can be, I guess,” Kane muttered in a flat tone. Ben started to slap his back, but he held back and just cracked his knuckles.
“You’ll be okay,” Ben said. “And I got just the thing for all that ails you.”
Whistling and snapping his fingers, Ben summoned the redhead with the sunken cheeks to their side. Since Noel got her hooked on the new stuff, the good stuff, she seemed shakier than usual, and Ben steadied her wavering stance with a muscled arm around her tiny waist.
“Gina here will make you feel better,” Ben said. “Ain’t that right, baby?”
The girl nodded furiously and quickly fell to her knees. She moved like a robot as her palms flattened in smooth strokes about his thighs, and without looking up, she started to lower Kane’s fly.
“You’ll love this,” Ben said. “Sweetness, here, gives fucking out-of-this-world head.”
Gina’s mouth was barely around the tip of his cock when Kane felt like he was on the verge of betrayal. Standing fast and zipping up, he pushed Gina away.
“Whoa, man!” Ben exclaimed. “Not cool!” The redhead was sucking the air, and it took her a second to realize that she had no cock in between her lips. Ben helped to her feet and started to guide her back to the party when he shot Kane a sharp glance over his shoulder and said, “I was only trying to help.”
Gina murmured something along the same lines, but Kane tuned them out as he headed to the back and found his rack. Lying alone in the darkness, he touched his cock and knew that the cracked out girl could have led him to climax had he given her the chance. No doubt she thought that she have would score another set of pills if she did the job the right. Now, she was probably sucking every Blood Brother like mad in an attempt to get her reward. Maybe Kane should have just submitted and let her get on with the business of being high?
And maybe it made him what Noel would call a total pussy, but he only wanted Angeline’s lips, her tongue.
He kept his eyes open and his mouth shut for months. Then, months stretched into a year. Eventually, Noel decided that Kane was docile enough to meet up with Lillian Palmer and collect the goods. Kane had to hide his excitement as he mounted his bike for the office where Angeline had once worked. He knew that she wasn’t there anymore, but maybe he could get through to the doc and help her out. Crumbing Noel’s play would mean his death; but, if word ever reached Angeline, she would smile through her tears, and it would be another story that might give Theo something to hold onto in his absence.
Lillian Palmer stepped from the back, her hair cropped, and her eyes icy. She hardly smiled, and then her jaw set like steel again. “Well, well, well,” she said. “The original Blood Brother.”
Kane pressed his hands into his pockets and met her stare.
“No flowers for me?” she asked.
He remembered the time when Lillian had told him that he needed to stay close, that Angeline needed him more than ever. What had changed?
“You’re late,” Lillian said. “Here.” She offered him a fresh stash and a pad full of pre-written scripts.
She had changed, and Kane took the opportunity to ask, “Why are you doing this?”
“Excuse me?” Lillian challenged, as she cocked her head to the side and folded her arms across her chest.
It was barely an opening, but Kane took it. “Are you in some kind of trouble?” he asked in a ragged whisper. “Because…because if you are, I can get you away, and I’ll… I’ll take care of Noel.”
For one moment, it seemed like Lillian’s eyes flashed with hope. Kane knew that he was signing his death sentence, but if the doc was in really in trouble, it was worth the risk.
To his shock, she only laughed. “Tell that to Angeline,” Lillian scoffed. “You couldn’t just the do the time and disappear. And where is she now?”
So, she was angry with him. Made sense. But he could still make this right. “I can help you,” Kane promised. “You don’t have to—”
“Ever think that that maybe I wanted to do this, genius?” Lillian asked and then laughed as she pressed the pills and the pages into his hands. “All that money,” she continued, “just waiting. Angeline would have been smart to partner with your boy while you were still locked up. Bet she wouldn’t be hiding now.”
Who was this woman? Not the noble doctor that Angeline had looked up to and spoken of in hushed tones. She was like Noel, an animal unable to control her appetite.
“I’ve thought this out,” Lillian started. “This thing is a gold mine. And I’m not going to just walk away from it.”
“You…you hurting for cash or something?” Kane asked.
“Not really,” she said with a cold laugh. “But a person can always have more.”
Standing toe-to-toe with her, he tried the last thing that he could think of. “And if you get caught?” he challenged.
“Not happening,” she said. “I’m a lot smarter than your little lost girl. But who knows? Maybe you’ll do my time, too?”
Lillian obviously meant it as a cruel joke, but would Noel make him go back to the joint until the coast was clear and they could start up again if the club slipped? Wanting to puke, feeling more and more like a dead man walking, Kane could do nothing but head back to the clubhouse, hand over the stash, and wonder if there was anything to hope for.
***
“Ellen’s pregnant.”
And there it was.
He had dinner with his real family once a month, and even before Jeremy shared the good news, Kane knew that something was up. Ellen seemed too calm, and she was smiling too much to mean anything but happiness. He was used to her snorting, constantly checking her watch, and looking over her shoulder when he came over. The last few times had been different, and when they finally shared the good news, Kane hugged his brother tight and kissed Ellen’s hand. For the first time in forever, she didn’t seem to mind it.
Alone on the porch, Kane congratulated his brother again, but a cloud fell over his face as he gazed into the distance. “I’m really happy for you,” Kane said. “But I miss my girl. I miss my son.”
“I know,” Jeremy said. “But it’s better for you this way. For… for all of us.”
“Is it really?” Kane asked.
Jeremy had no answer.
A few more family dinners, and Kane decided. He had to get back to Angeline. It was dangerous to even think of leaving, but he needed to kiss her, to touch her, to…
***
“I’m sorry! Please don’t!”
“You want more?” Noel bellowed. “Then take your poison, cunt!”
Gina trembled wildly as she cowered on her knees, and Noel unzipped. The girl seemed ready to embrace his cock with her mouth, but Noel had something else in mind.
“Open wide, junkie!”
A stream of hot piss poured from his junk, and Gina wailed and moaned as the hot bitter splash coated her quivering face. Kane seethed at the sight, but when Gina started to do as she was told, to lick it up and swallow his piss, he knew that this was too much. This was not the old days when the Blood Brothers conducted themselves with honor, and Kane flew into a rage and charged forward. “Leave her the fuck alone!” Kane screamed.
Plowing into Noel, Kane pushed him away from Gina’s quaking form and forced him to the ground. Every man screamed around him, but Kane didn’t hear, couldn’t hear, as he started to beat Noel raw. “You should be dead!” Kane yelled. “You fucking scum!”
Kane landed blow after blow, and just when he thought that Noel would explode as he had always hoped, the boss whistled. Ben and Waldo grabbed his arms, and as Gina struggled to her feet, Noel kicked her once more for good measure then pointed the way to his office and yelled, “Where I can get him alone!”
Kane was hauled through the streams of tape and dumped at the foot of the desk. Noel lit a cigarette, took a drag, and stamped it out on Kane’s hand.
Kane bit his tongue and held back a scream as his flesh was singed.
“Bitch!” Noel said. “Strip him.”
Ben and Waldo seemed to hesitate; but, like Kane, they feared Noel’s wrath and ultimately did as they were told. Trying to fight, Kane could not stop their hands. Once his body was bare, Noel unspooled the rest of his belt and stood over Kane, his heels pressing into his thighs.
“This is how we treat bitches here!” Noel said.
The sharp buckle came down on his back, and Kane ground his fingers into the floor as the assault continued. The slap of the leather bruised him; the cut of the buckle tore into his skin. Kane fought to lift his body away from the blows, but each slap weakened his resolve. Kane could feel the blood dripping from his skin, and he feared that he would not live to see tomorrow. He couldn’t get back to Angeline; Lillian Palmer was a lost cause. However, maybe Gina could get out even if he…
“No! Stop!”
Now, Kane had to scream as Noel fell to his knees and lowered his pants. This had to be a joke. There was no way that he really would—
“So, I’ll treat you like a bitch!” Noel said. “Maybe you miss this from the joint.”
In the showers, Kane had been spared at the last second. He never knew what it was to feel a cock invading him.
Until now.
Noel tore into his ass. Kane could feel the blood leaving his body when Noel thrust deeper. No. He wasn’t doing this. He couldn’t…
“Let’s see how tight you are, kid!”
Noel’s cock throbbed inside him, and Kane’s hands stretched into the air. But there was no escape, and every pulse brought Noel closer. Even as Kane screamed and tried to scratch at his face and arms in a futile effort to push him off, his thoughts turned to Angeline. This was how she must have felt when Noel forced her—terrified, weak, and wanting nothing more than for him to be dead. Kane wanted that too—to see Noel with his body bloated and his eyes glazed as Kane dumped him off a hot rock and cut out his tongue so that he’d have no hope of screaming for help.
“Angel was better,” Noel said as he pumped into him. “But then we both know that. Right, kid?”
And then the thought of killing him ceased. Because if Noel ever had the chance, he would do this to her again, and he couldn’t bear that. Falling like the bitch that Noel believed he was, Kane submitted to the rape, and when Noel released his wickedness into his ass, he panted against Kane’s back.
“Now be a good boy,” Noel said, “or next time I’ll piss in your pussy mouth!”
Kane walked on sore legs through the waves of Noel’s laughter. He made like he was too stunned to speak or think, but his mind was working overtime. Noel would be gone on Saturday night, and Kane was more than ready to be left behind. No need for a guard when his ass was so recently wrecked, and Kane clung to that as the bikes roared off and he was abandoned with a skeleton crew. This was the night that he would take his chance and get back to Angeline. It took some doing, but Jeremy handed over the address when Kane swore the he only wanted to write her and make sure that she was alright. And all Kane had to do was wait until it was quiet and start back to her side.
When the moment felt right, Kane stepped out the back and started to mount his bike.
“Where you think you’re going, fool?”
Ben was back, and Kane started to absorb the lost cause when Ben pointed a gun in his direction.
“Boss said that we had to keep an eye on you,” Ben said. “Was he right?”
Kane thought of revving up his motor and taking his chances with speed, but then Ben would have to pay the price, and Kane didn’t want that for him.
He dismounted and lifted his hands into the air.
“So you gonna kill me now?” Kane asked. “Of does Noel get to have his way with me again?”
Ben blanched and seemed ready to shoot before concealing his gun. Reaching into his other pocket, he revealed a wad of bills and pressed them into Kane’s hand.
“What’s this?” Kane asked.
“It’s reparations,” Ben said. “Think you’ve earned that and then some.”
Kane hesitated, thinking that it was a trick, but Ben forced the money into his hand as he spoke.
“You need to go,” Ben said. “Find the girl and her kid if you can.”
Kane’s fingers curled around the bills. He could snatch them and speed off on a wave of hope. But why was Ben doing this? He was fast becoming Noel’s new right hand and letting Kane go would place him right in the line of fire.
“Why the change of heart, Ben?” Kane had to ask.
“Gina’s a good kid,” Ben said. “Only wish that I had the stones to stop it.”
Ben took hold of his arms and hung his head.
“Find your girl,” Ben said. “I’ll put him off the scent for as long as I can.”
Not needing to hear anything else, Kane hopped on his bike. The motor purred, and Ben offered a final piece of advice before Kane sped away. “Don’t look back, Kane.”