Ariana woke with a start. She didn’t immediately recognize her surroundings, but as she came to, she realized she must have fallen asleep on the couch, watching Shark Week reruns. The sun was streaming in through the cheap blinds over her window, and she squinted at the clock. It was just after six. Cursing at the hour, she peeled herself off the couch and headed to the shower, stopping only long enough to turn on the coffee maker. Those were the only things that were going to get her through the day.
The hot water flipped the on switch in her brain, and though she was still in slow mode, she remembered calling Vince last night. She groaned, the moment of weakness bringing her shame, especially since he hadn’t ever called back. Then again, if she had slept that soundly, she might have missed his call. Even more likely, her ringer volume was down.
“You are a genius,” she told herself sarcastically as she scrubbed her hair, which wasn’t dirty but felt grimy because she hadn’t slept in a bed. She pulled on her sweats and went back to the kitchen to pour her first cup of coffee, then she went for her phone. She scowled. There were no calls or messages from Vince, and it bugged her. After all, he’d been the one who wanted to start fresh, the one who’d suggested some sort of arrangement they still needed to figure out. And now, he couldn’t even take a minute to send her a damn text.
Ariana plopped back down on the couch and reached for her textbook to study for class tomorrow. Maybe she wasn’t being fair. After all, it had looked like he was about to take a trip somewhere, and he could be out of service range or something. Of course, even if he’d gone for a long ride, he could have sent her a message when he stopped. There were gas needs, food needs, and he certainly couldn’t go on forever with his leg in that shape.
Again, she chided herself. He could be busy, and that was fine. He didn’t owe her anything. Vince would call or text eventually, when the time was right. Hell, she’d called less than twelve hours after she’d left him. She was being needy, and that wouldn’t work very well between two people who had separate lives of their own. With a sigh, she drank her coffee and started reading. Her physiology professor had a way of springing pop quizzes on them, and she wanted to be prepared.
She got lost in her book and was thankful for the alarm she kept permanently set on her phone, alerting her it was time to get ready for work. She cursed and felt like calling in sick for perhaps the first time; she wished she could just stay buried in the study material. She was finally starting to piece this information together and enjoy it. Nonetheless, she wouldn’t be able to keep up with the bills that her grants and loans didn’t cover if she took a night off, so she headed to her room to change into something she could actually show her face in at the station.
As she packed a bag with spare clothes and some snacks, as usual, her phone chirped, and she grabbed it, a little too anxious. It wasn’t Vince; it was her mother. Ariana couldn’t figure out for the life of her why her mother would want to contact her all of a sudden, and she was completely at a loss for when the woman had learned to text. She must have been seeing a younger guy again. Ignoring the text, she threw the phone in her bag, filled a travel mug with coffee she hadn’t already drank and headed out.
Her phone chirped again as she pulled out of the parking lot, and her level of irritation skyrocketed. She figured it was just her mother, being bratty and demanding her attention. The woman didn’t like to wait; she thought that her life should be the focus of everyone’s thoughts at all times. A selfish bitch, that’s what her mother was. So was her sister, for that matter, and she didn’t regret losing contact with her for a second. Just thinking about her family irritated her.
She didn’t realize she was driving like a bat out of hell until she screeched to a halt to avoid running a red light. Her heart throbbing, she slammed the heel of her hand against the steering wheel. What was wrong with her lately? She’d become reckless and easily enraged. Maybe she was just under too much stress. That alone was reason enough for her uncharacteristic actions, including her strange attraction to Vince Larson. One thing she could say for sure: sleeping with him relieved every bit of stress, at least for a while.
Maybe, over time, their physical relationship would actually lower her stress level. That would be a real relief. And if nothing else, maybe she could parade him in front of her mother so she could really piss the woman off. After all, it was her mother’s influence that had built her hatred of motorcycle gangs in the first place.
Clubs, she reminded herself. This wasn’t 1950. Gangs wore specifically colored bandanas on specific arms. Organized groups of men wearing identical insignia on their leather jackets as they rode on two wheels down the streets were just clubs now. She shook her head. Maybe they weren’t so bad. After all, when she’d gone in, guns blazing, to tear into Vince, she hadn’t missed the way all of his buddies seemed to watch out for him, their ears twitching as they listened and their eyes suspicious as they took on poses that made it plain they were ready for a rumble.
If nothing else, she’d seen the loyalty they had toward each other. It was more than she could say for her own family, and they were bound by blood.
The light changed, and she drove more attentively now, determined to put her family and Vince out of her mind for the next several hours. She wanted to do her job and enjoy it the way she had before anyone had found out who she was and started looking down on her. Tonight was going to be her night, and she’d deal with all her other troubles later.
The shift started out simple enough, and Ariana felt good about it. She even held casual conversation with Sal, something she rarely bothered to do. If they talked, it was on a profound topic or some philosophical debate. They’d even talked politics, but when it came to anything personal or lighthearted, Ariana clammed up and let Sal talk until he realized the discussion had turned into a soliloquy.
Today, though, it was different, and during a moment of silence after they’d been laughing about old sitcoms, Ariana heard herself say, “My mother sent me a message today.”
Sal glanced at her, then turned away. “What did she say?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t read the message. I didn’t want to hear from her. I haven’t talked to her in months, haven’t talked to my father in about a year, and managed to avoid contact with my sister for almost three years. Why would I want to let go of a good thing?” She sounded petulant, even to her own ears, and she guessed some habits from bad breeding never disappeared.
“So, are you just going to wait to read their obituaries one day and not even try to clear the air or say goodbye or anything?” Sal’s words were scolding, but his tone was kind. He understood her, even if he didn’t agree with her. It always helped to know that someone didn’t hate her for things she had no part of.
Shrugging, she said, “Maybe. You know, my father is an embarrassment, and he’s the main reason I have to struggle so hard to prove myself. Do you know how hard it’s going to be to get any respect or earn a residency anywhere?”
Sal scowled. “I think you’ll find the right place. If they can’t look past the mistakes your family made and see that you’re better than that, you don’t want to work there anyway. You shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of others.”
Unfortunately, that’s how life worked, and Ariana knew she couldn’t change it. “I wish we lived in a perfect world, but if we did, I wouldn’t have that shame in the past.” There had been a time she’d thought about changing her name to try to avoid the stigma of the Powell history, but she knew it wouldn’t really get her anywhere. As soon as anyone dug into her past, which would be inevitable, they’d find out who her family was anyway. She’d decided it was better to deal with the problem head on.
Now, her partner chuckled. “Hey, in a perfect world, we’d both be independently wealthy and spend our days by pools with servants, or traveling to exotic places. My son would be a genius who wanted to go into rocket science instead of dyslexic and struggling to spell his own name.”
Ariana looked at him in surprise. “You’ve never mentioned that before.”
He shrugged. “Perry was just diagnosed about a month ago. We’re working on getting him a tutor who specializes in that sort of learning disorder, but so far, he’s having a really hard time not getting frustrated and wanting to quit. My wife’s having the hardest time with it because she’s the one at home with him, watching him go through this and trying to find ways to help him, so I try not to complain. At least he’s healthy and smart enough to overcome it, once he finds his patience.”
Ariana realized she had been too wrapped up in her own world. There were plenty of people who had more pressing issues, and she often forgot to think about how much worse it could be. Sal adored his son, and she knew it broke his heart that Perry had such a difficult obstacle to overcome. At least that was something she didn’t have to face. She only had herself to look after.
It made her thoughts turn to Vince. Part of the reason she’d been so hard on him and his friends was a lack of compassion. She’d been taught not to think of them as people with feelings. But they went through the same tough situations everyone else did. Obviously, Vince’s wife’s death had taken a bigger toll on him than he wanted others to believe. His struggle was just as difficult as Sal’s. And while Ariana had to fight for her place in the world, at least she hadn’t lost someone so close to her, as Vince had.
But it also reminded her that she couldn’t get in too deep with Vince. After all, his lifestyle was dangerous, or, at least, she assumed it was. And that meant he could disappear from her life at any time. He could be killed, just as he could have been in his accident. Or, if he was into illegal activities, which she’d grown up believing to be a fact of life for motorcycle clubs, he could go to prison for the rest of his life. Either situation would leave her alone again, and she wasn’t prepared to lose someone in that way.
Ariana had thought she wanted to get to know him better, but really, it was better to stick to a relationship that didn’t go beyond satisfying physical needs for both of them. She would deal with any emotional needs she had later on, when she was finally past all of the obstacles she faced in her career and had time to dedicate to a real relationship. By then, Vince would certainly be a distant memory.
The radio came to life, and Sal sped up, turning the sirens and lights on. This was a big one, a multi-car pileup, and they needed to hurry. She was both excited and nervous, hoping there were no life-threatening injuries, but eager to take on the challenge.