I told Syll I loved her. I was still trying to wrap my head around that.

She hadn’t said it back, but the paramedic had come over with the paperwork we needed to sign almost right after I’d said it, and by the time we were done with that, she looked so exhausted that I hadn’t brought it up again. I could wait.

The police officer who’d taken our statements offered to drive us back to my place. If things hadn’t been so insane, I would’ve been amused at riding in the back of the cop car, but as it was, all I’d been able to focus on was Syll. When we reached my house, she didn’t protest when I told her she was staying with me, at least for now, but she did insist on walking rather than me carrying her.

While she was in the shower cleaning up, I called Harry Kingston, an ER doctor I’d met several years ago at a hospital fundraiser. Like me, he was a workaholic with little time for socializing, which meant we could consider each other a friend even though we rarely spent time together. And he was the sort of friend I could rely on in a situation like this.

By the time he left, both Syll and I had stitches – hers in her head, mine in my back – and she’d been given instructions to use the small tank of oxygen he’d brought with him. He promised to come back tomorrow to check on us, and then he left.

When Syll nearly fell face-first into her toast fifteen minutes later, I helped her up and into the living room. My house had plenty of beds available, but I wasn’t sure I had the strength to get myself up the stairs, let alone help Syll. Now that the adrenaline had faded from my system, I was exhausted.

“Stay.” She reached up and grabbed my hand. “Please.”

“I’m just going over there.” I gestured to a nearby chair with my free hand.

She shook her head. “Will you lay down with me?”

Maybe it was a bad idea since we hadn’t talked about what I said to her, but I couldn’t deny her, not when she needed me. It took some creative positioning for us to both fit without aggravating our injuries, but once we settled into place, I couldn’t imagine anywhere else I’d want to be.

I’d put on a movie, but neither of us stayed awake much past the first few minutes, and when I woke up, I saw that nearly four hours had passed. My neck was stiff from how I’d been laying, and my arm was numb from Syll laying on it, but seeing how relaxed she looked, it was worth the discomfort.

Still, I needed to extract my arm, and despite the care I took, the movement woke her. She looked up at me, color flooding her cheeks.

I gave her a soft smile. “I’d say good morning, but I think it’s actually afternoon now.”

“Thank you,” she said. Her voice still sounded a little rough, but it was better than it had been.

“For what?”

She gave me a look. “For saving my life. For bringing me back here so I didn’t have to be alone.”

She started to sit up, and I helped her until we were side-by-side in the middle of the couch. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her as close as I could without her sitting on my lap again.

“May I ask a favor then?” I chose my words carefully. Not thinking before I spoke was part of what’d gotten me in hot water in the first place.

“All right,” she said warily.

“Hear me out?” She nodded, and I continued, “I’m a businessman, and sometimes that’s my default setting. It’s how I see things. When I asked you about expanding your business, I swear to you, it was just an observation. Nothing manipulative or under-handed. Yes, I’d originally made an offer because I thought it was a perfect space for a club, and that’s where my focus had been. But it’s not there anymore. It hasn’t been for a while.”

I watched her face as she considered my words.

“I believe you.”

I hadn’t realized how tense I was until her words made me relax. I kissed the top of her head. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Okay, what’s with the sweetheart?” she asked, looking up at me. “You called me that before.”

I hadn’t realized I could feel embarrassed, but then again, I’d never been in love before. And I definitely hadn’t confessed feelings to someone who hadn’t said them back. If anything, I’d been on the other end of this situation. I didn’t know how to handle the power shift here.

“I remember Billy calling you babe, and I wanted something different.”

“But sweetheart? Really?”

“You don’t like it?” The teasing tone helped ease the sting of her not liking the endearment I’d used.

She shook her head. “It just doesn’t feel like…you.”

“Then what should I call you?” To my surprise, I found myself teasing her right back. “Sugar? Honey? Darlin’?”

I drawled the last word and earned a laugh.

“None of those, please.”

I reached down and cupped her chin, running my thumb along her bottom lip. “What then, my sweet, sweet Syll?”

She swallowed hard, though I didn’t know if it was at the words or at the tone. “That-that’s okay with me.”

One side of my mouth curved up in a smile. “All right then, my sweet Syll, do you think we can talk about something on the serious side? If you aren’t up for it, that’s okay.” I tucked some of her hair behind her ear and let my hand linger.

“Did you mean what you said before,” she licked her lips, “about…”

“Me being in love with you,” I finished for her. I brushed the back of my hand against the side of her face. “I’m not expecting anything. I just needed you to know.”

She had a thoughtful look on her face, and I waited to see what she would say next. “What does that mean?”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

“What does it mean to you to say that you’re in love with me?” She sat up a little straighter but didn’t pull away completely. “You said you don’t have any expectations, but it has to mean something.”

I was quiet for a few minutes, holding up a hand when she opened her mouth to say something. “I’m thinking. I’ve never said it before, so I’ve never had to explain it.”

“I’m the only person you’ve said it to?” Her eyes were wide, her skin prettily flushed.

“You are,” I admitted. “It’s more than great sex or physical attraction. I’ve had those before. But I’ve never wanted to just spend time with someone. You challenge me, and you make me laugh, neither of which are easy things. I like being with you.”

Her eyes sparkled. “Does that mean you don’t want to have sex with me?”

“Hell no. I mean, yes. Shit.” No one else ever managed to fluster me. “Yes, I’m insanely attracted to you and would love to spend hours in bed showing you just how good I can make you feel, but I like this too. Watching a movie with you. Holding you. Talking to you.”

“Where does this mean we go from here?”

I tried not to be disappointed that she still hadn’t said how she felt about me. It’d hit me out of the blue. I couldn’t expect her to have already gotten there. I’d just have to show her how good we could be together. I always rose to a challenge, and this would be no different.

“I’d like for it to mean we’re dating.” I tucked some hair behind her ear. “I won’t ask you to be exclusive or offer any sort of commitment. You just got out of a relationship with Billy, and I don’t want to be the rebound. Just know that I’m not planning on seeing anyone else.”

She studied me for a moment. “What about sex?”

“What about it?”

“If I decide I want us to take things slow and don’t want to have sex for a while, will that change things?”

“The only thing it’ll change is how many cold showers I’ll have to take.”

She smiled at that.

“Seriously though, Syll. You set the pace, and you tell me what you want.” She couldn’t imagine how hard giving over control was, but she was worth it.

“And if I do want sex?”

A bolt of desire went right through me. “Then I’ll be more than happy to comply.” I paused, and then added, “That’d require a different sort of discussion though.”

“What sort of discussion is that?”

I should have known she wouldn’t want me to ease her into things. That wasn’t who she was. “Before we get to that, I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”

She nodded. “I will.”

“Are you still in love with Billy? I told you we’d go at your pace, and I meant it. I just want to know where I stand.”

She leaned over and brushed her lips across mine. “My relationship with Billy has been on life support since long before I met you. Catching him with Ariene was just the kick in the ass I needed to pull the plug on it.”

“All right,” I said, trying not to show her how much I loved hearing that. “Then let’s have the sex talk.”

“I think I’ve already learned about the birds and the bees,” she teased.

I gave her a long look, not speaking until she was practically squirming. “Not the way I do it.”

* * *

She’d taken the admission of my sexual preferences surprisingly well. In fact, her actual reaction had been: “Makes sense. No wonder you got off spanking me and bossing me around.”

I’d gone over the basics with her, wondering the whole time if she’d decide it was too much, but with each new revelation, each answer to her questions, I saw nothing but interest…and desire.

Which was why I suggested that we distract ourselves by spending some time in my playroom.

She stood a few feet inside the room while I stayed back, drinking in the sight of her seeing it all for the first time. I tried to view it through her eyes. See the various shades of greens and blues that came together to form an ocean-like ambiance. I knew a lot of similar rooms were made up in blacks and reds, but I’d always loved the ocean.

A pair of chains hung from the ceiling in one corner, various opportunities for restraints attached to the walls closest to them. An X-shaped cross was fastened to the opposite wall, set-up in such a way that I could rotate it, even if someone was on it. A padded bench sat at the foot of the bed while my flogger and crop hung next to it, but I used them sparingly. Other types of restraints and toys were in the drawers under the bed. The bed itself was massive, with posts made for all kinds of bondage.

“I owe you two punishments.” I broke the silence.

She half-turned. “Two punishments?”

“You disobeyed when I told you to keep your hands behind your back, and then you came without permission.”

She opened her mouth, like she was going to argue with me, but I shook my head, and her jaw snapped shut. Her eyes gleamed with anticipation.

“Undress.”

The clothes she’d been wearing when I found her were ruined, and I didn’t keep women’s clothes on hand, so she’d changed into a pair of my boxers and a t-shirt. Now, she pulled the t-shirt over her head, and slipped off the boxers, putting both on the bench.

“Do you remember the safe word we came up with?” I asked.

“Sugar.” She gave me a cheeky smile.

“On the bed. In the center. Lay on your back.”

I watched her crawl into place, the tight muscles in her ass and thighs flexing as she moved. She settled on her back, eyes on me as I walked to each of the corners and placed restraints on her wrists and ankles. With the last one, she was spread-eagle, every inch of her exposed.

“I thought you were going to punish me,” she said.

I reached down and flicked her nipple, watched it harden. “I am, but not like before. I’m not going to spank you. I think your body’s taken enough abuse in the past week.”

“Difference is,” her eyes dropped to my lips, “I liked what you did.”

When she was all healed, I was going to see just how much she liked it.

“You’re going to like this too,” I promised.

I crossed over to the chest of drawers and selected a few toys. I set them on the bed and then got out a condom. I didn’t want to have to stop right in the middle of things to rummage through a drawer. I stripped off my clothes, enjoying the expression on her face as she watched. I didn’t consider myself a vain person, but I liked the way she looked at me.

“Since this is your first time experiencing this sort of punishment, I’ll go easy on you. Five minutes per punishment.”

“Five minutes? That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Just wait,” I said, fight to keep my face serious. “You might change your mind.”

“Bring it.”

I laughed, the sound startling me. It’d been too long since laughter had been a part of sex for me. Yet another reason to love her.

“Remember, you asked for it.”

I picked up a pair of clamps. They were beginner ones, with some padding and soft cloth. I had other kinds, including some with metal teeth sharp enough to draw blood. It wasn’t time for those yet.

I leaned over her, taking one of her nipples into my mouth. She moaned and wiggled as I sucked on it, using teeth and suction to get it ready. When I raised my head, I brought my eyes to hers, and then closed the first clamp on her nipple. She gasped, her back arching, and I moved on to the other one, repeating the process.

“Five minutes,” I said. “And trust me, taking them off won’t provide as much relief as you think.”

I wrapped my hand around my erection, giving myself a slow stroke, twisting my wrist over the head so I could use the pre-cum to ease the friction. I didn’t speak as one minute turned into two, and Syll started to squirm. The movements made her breasts jiggle delightfully, and even more blood rushed into my cock.

“Okay,” she said, her skin flushed. “You were right. Five minutes. It has to be five minutes, right?”

I glanced at the clock. “Three. You’ve got two more to go.”

“Two more minutes?” She glared at me. “That can’t be right.”

“Would you like something to take your mind off them?” I asked, ghosting my fingers up her leg and across her belly.

“Yes,” she said, her head bobbing as she nodded. “Yes, very much.”

I picked up one of the other toys I’d selected but didn’t show it to her. “You have five additional minutes of punishment. Do you want me to overlap them, or wait until those come off?”

She made a desperate sound. “Now! Please, Jax! I need something to distract me.”

I gave her a wicked smile. “Don’t forget, you asked for it.”