Destiny

“I have extra rooms in my house,” Rebecca said. She was chattering—to me. I must have entered a bizarre world to hear Rebecca’s chirpy, happy voice in conversation with me. Of course, that probably had more to do with asking her to watch Toby tonight than me. “He can stay the night, if that’s okay. Then he can help me get ready for the party tomorrow. Or help Cooper if you think he’d like that.”

My gaze was on the bright green fairways outside Jordan’s office window. My mind racing. A sleepover? Giving Jordan and I the night alone?

I slammed that thought into a box and locked it.

“Yeah, I can ask him. But really, Rebecca. It’s dinner and a few hours, you don’t have to—”

“I want to.” Her voice went soft. Almost pleading. She continued before I could form a thought. “I want to get to know him. Plus Cooper installed the basketball hoop the other day. He’s excited too, and it’s not a problem, Destiny. It’s our honor. My duty as his Aunt.”

Her voice went shaky at the end. Mine would be if I tried to speak. My deep inhale as I tried to was shaky enough.

“Okay,” I finally said. “Okay. Thank you. I can bring him over around six after I feed him. Does that work?”

“We usually eat then. I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry. He’ll be in good hands, I swear it.”

I lost the tremulous hold I’d been scraping together. A family. Being here would give this to Toby. A family who loved him. God. I needed to call Allison. We had to have a long talk and soon.

“Thanks, Rebecca. I’ll see you later.”

“Take care. And have fun tonight.” She giggled. “But trust me, I won’t need details.”

I blinked. Fire bloomed on my cheeks and spread to my chest. “That’s not…it’s just dinner…to talk…”

“Uh-huh. See you soon!”

She practically sang the words as she hung up on me.

I stared at my screen like it was an alien life form. That was Rebecca? Teasing me? Laughing with me?

“What a strange day,” I whispered at the screen of my iPhone. Odd. First Gloria. Then Jordan kissing my cheek and touching my hip and looking at me like I was adorable. Then Rebecca.

I swiped the phone. Checked the date to make sure I hadn’t entered a parallel universe. Then remembered I was supposed to meet Jordan and Toby in the lobby.

I left Jordan’s office, closing the door behind me.

“Thank you,” I said to Jordan’s receptionist. She was older than me. Probably by about a decade. I didn’t pause to wonder why it felt good to know the woman who worked so close to him was not only older than us but married based on the size of the rock on her finger. “I won’t take up too much more of Jordan’s time today.”

“No problem.” She smiled at me. A big one. One that seemed completely genuine. See? Strange. “Your boy seems really sweet.”

“He is.”

Her smile faltered. “I hope to see more of him. I’ve got kids of my own. Two girls, though. They’re eleven.”

“Twins? You must have had your hands full.” Mom talk was always easy.

“They’re sweet kids. When their hormones aren’t turning them into screaming banshees.”

I thought back to the grief I’d given Tillie around that age, most likely for the same reason, and laughed. “I was probably the same way.”

“All us girls are.” She winked like we were sharing some sort of secret joke. I suppose we were. The wiles of women were highly secretive. “How old is he?”

“Toby? He’s ten. He’ll be in fifth grade in the fall.”

“Ellie and Jackie are going into sixth. Maybe we could get them together sometime. They have a lot of friends in town, boys too, he could meet. If you’re going to be here a while?”

Thirty minutes ago, I’d heard her surprise as she told Jordan I told him his son was here to see him. I’d also heard his reply about how he hadn’t known. I’d seen the flash of her eyes, the furrowed brow and the way she stood distant while we spoke, but kept an eye on us the entire time. Now she was being as friendly as could be.

“Um. Yeah, that would be great. Toby would like that.” He’d love it, actually. He was always running around the neighborhood with friends. I hardly saw him during the summer.

“Great. I’ll set something up with Jordan, then? That okay?”

“Sure. We’re pretty open.” An odd pressure hit my chest making it difficult to breathe. I was staring at her and smiling.

Meanwhile, the world as I knew it was shifting beneath my feet. She knew I kept Jordan’s son from him, and she acted like she didn’t care I was so horrible.

“Great. See you soon. Nice to meet you, Destiny.” The phone rang as she spoke, so I waved goodbye and headed toward the stairway to take me down to the lobby. And the whole way down, I gripped the railing tightly so I didn’t fall.

She was nice to me. Unassuming. Helpful. Kind.

That wasn’t how people around here treated me and yet she’d treated me like she’d known me for years and we were setting up our weekly coffee date.

What universe had I woken up in?

I found Jordan and Toby in the lobby, walking out of one of the restaurants I’d noticed on the way in. My heart stuttered and grew impossibly large with every breath. Jordan was breathtakingly handsome. It had nothing to do with his body that showed years of working out and taking care of it. Nor the white dress shirt that curved over his chest, slim at the waist and tucked into gray suit pants, perfectly creased down the front. I took all that in, my hand going to my chest to ease the delicious ache as he walked toward me, arm slung over Toby’s shoulder, holding him tight. They kept looking at each other, mirror images, same damn eyes and similar smiles on their faces that made all my mistakes hit me with the force of a wrecking ball.

Father and son. Enjoying each other. Affectionate and happy.

So much so that by the time they reached me, tears were spilling down my cheeks and Jordan was frowning. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Mom?”

“Nothing.” I swiped my tears away and sniffed, smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. “Everything’s good.” It was perfect. I could fix this. I had to. I’d work every damn day until my dying breath to fix the wrongs I’d done. “I promise.” I blinked my eyes harshly one more time and grinned down at Toby. “Rebecca said you can come. And if you want, she said you can spend the night. No pressure…but she thought you’d have fun helping Cooper on the ranch and maybe getting on a horse.”

“Seriously?” His brows arched. His sweet voice went high-pitched reminding me of when he was younger. “That’d be so cool! Yeah. I’ll do it. Definitely.”

“Good.” My eyes slid to Jordan. “Wonderful.”

His eyes warmed with the heat of a thousand suns, and all of those thoughts I’d slammed and locked away earlier popped free with his look, the drift of his eyes down my body and back up. “Yeah. Wonderful.”

* * *

“Wow, Jane. Or Destiny. Whoever you are now. I’m impressed. You move fast.”

I laughed at Allison. I hadn’t talked to her much in the last week except for explaining about Paul showing up, and then leaving quickly thereafter. It was difficult to tell her everything else. I was falling for Jordan all over again and it was scarier this time. I had Toby to consider this time and I’d made enough colossal mistakes. I didn’t have a strike left if I screwed up.

But what else does a girl do when she’s freaking out about a date with the father of her child who she hasn’t been alone with in a decade except call her best friend?

“It’s not fast, Allison. It’s just…” I didn’t know what it was. That was the problem.

“It’s right, and that’s all that matters.”

“It feels right.”

“Which is probably why you sound like a scared, cornered animal. What are you doing now?”

I was pacing the living room and kitchen, pretending I wasn’t wearing a hole in Tillie’s carpet while I surreptitiously peeked through the curtains to see if Jordan had pulled up yet. “Waiting for him.”

“Mm-hmmm.”

She knew me too well.

“I know. I’m a wreck. What about the job?” I’d taken a huge plunge with her earlier. Having your best friend as your boss made it harder to ask for a favor. I never wanted people to think Allison let me get away with anything because of our friendship. Allowing me to work remotely for a few weeks was the biggest favor she’d ever done for me and that was her idea.

She sighed heavily. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m not saying no, honey, but I do have to think about it. We have a ton of huge projects and there are times I need you here for meetings with clients, but maybe we could work out a schedule. You travel back every quarter. Once a month for a few days. Give me time to talk to some of the managers?”

“Yeah.” It was better than anything I could have pictured. “Absolutely. Take your time.” Bright lights swung into the driveway, almost blinding me through the curtains. “Oh shit. He’s here. This is good, right? I’m not an idiot?”

She was already laughing. Friends who laughed at your misery were awesome. “No. You’re not an idiot. Have fun and don’t forget to call me tomorrow. I want all the details.”

She hung up, still laughing before I could repeat that dinner wasn’t going to be like that. Good grief. Between her and Rebecca, it was now all I was thinking about, so while I hurried to the door, opening it before he could ring the doorbell, I thought I had my libido under control.

Good Lord in Heaven was I wrong.

“Hi,” I said, my word stretching out. My tongue fell to the floor along with the rest of my words.

I saw him hours ago. How was it possible he was more attractive?

“Hey.” He flipped his keys in his hand and his gaze didn’t once drop to mine. He was focused on something over my shoulder. “Ready?”

It wasn’t exactly the warmest greeting I’d ever had. Not the worst, either.

Still, disappointment pinged in my chest and I grabbed my purse from the couch. Jordan didn’t enter at all, and by the time I reached him, he was already looking out to the street, door held open like he couldn’t wait to get this dinner over with.

It was the final hint I needed to slam away all the runaway thoughts I’d had, all the additional ones Rebecca and Allison had given me.

This was dinner. Two people catching up. Hell, he probably only wanted to take me into town so if anyone was a jerk to me, he could handle it. It was something a friend would do. I should have been thankful. But as he followed me to the truck, holding the door open and barely saying anything, it still felt like I’d stepped in a pile of cow manure. So far, this wasn’t exactly the night I’d hoped for.