Chapter Seventeen

Rain moved in overnight, falling from the sky as a light but steady drizzle. Thick mugginess clung to the air, though the rainy mist provided a welcome relief from the heat.

Only a few raindrops touched Prue’s hair and skin in her spot beneath the pergola. Today, the lake churned and roiled with restlessness, stirred up by the approaching storm. Today, the lake reminded her of Leo.

Like the waves in the water, he pushed her away only to pull her back in again. Hard and cold one moment, he’d turn tender and sweet in the next. He’d lie to her about little things, then make love to her in a way that only left room for fierce, searing honesty. There were times she thought he didn’t even like her, but then he’d risk his life for her, or kiss her with a knowledge so intimate and deep, she couldn’t believe he didn’t at least care for her a little.

The tender soreness in her heart when she thought about him worried her. He obviously had issues, and was quite possibly hung up on another woman. She couldn’t let herself love him. That’d be suicidal.

Behind her, the screen door opened with a soft screech. She turned as Leo poked his head outside.

His green-gold eyes alight, he held up his cell phone. “Claymore sent some information.”

Her heart jumped. She scrambled out of the hammock and bounded through the doorway after him. “Can I look at it?”

He nodded. “Let’s use your laptop.”

While he cleared a spot on the coffee table, she retrieved her computer from the bedroom. Returning, she set it on the coffee table in front of him.

“This is just the first batch of stuff.” With a cable, he connected his cell phone to her laptop. “He said there’s more, a lot more, but he wants to follow up on a few leads before he sends it over.”

He opened the first file, and she leaned in to read the small print on the screen.

“Hold on, I need to get my glasses.”

She darted to her bedroom, but her glasses weren’t on the nightstand where she’d left them. A frenzied search finally tracked them to the floor under the bed, where they must’ve fallen. Shoving them on, she scrambled to her feet.

When she returned to the living room, Leo sat back on the couch, his hands linked behind his head. The expression on his face slowed her steps.

She perched on the edge of the arm chair. “What’s wrong? What does it say?”

“King’s not involved in the smuggling ring.” The cold fury in his voice sent a chill straight to her heart. “He’s running it.”

A rush of wild fury erupted from her. “I knew it!” She swallowed the outburst. “That bastard.”

“And they’re not just dealing in guns and drugs.”

She gave her a head a small shake, baffled.

“They’re trafficking humans, too. Mostly underage girls.”

The breath left her body and a sharp, revolting pain rushed in to fill the void.

Leo clambered to his feet. “Hey, are you okay?”

Her vision blurred as his fuzzy form moved toward her.

“Breathe,” he murmured, smoothing a hand down her back.

She dragged gulps of air into her lungs. How could she have slept with a man who would do something so horrific? She’d thought she was in love with him, and he was a monster.

Her hands shook with the shock and repulsion banging through her body. She wanted to scream and cry and throw up, all at once.

Crouching before her, Leo peered into her face, and his fingers came up to touch her cheek. “Wow, you’re really upset by this.”

“I’m just so… so….” She pulled off her glasses and rubbed her wet eyes. “Angry.” Her voice broke over the word.

He sat carefully on the edge of the coffee table. Elbows on his knees, his compelling gaze pierced her.

She rubbed a hand across her forehead, but when her tears escaped she used her palm to hide her face. “And disgusted. It’s disgusting, right?”

“It makes me sick.”

“Me, too.”

Something like sorrow, or regret, touched his features. “Is that all that you’re feeling?”

“Maybe?”

Reaching out, he caught a tear with the pad of his thumb.

When he began speaking, he seemed to pick his words carefully. “I know we agreed not to show each other all our ugly parts, “but I think your ugly parts might be relevant to our current situation. Am I right?”

She shook her head, but when he frowned, her head shake morphed into a bob.

The corners of his mouth lifted and lines appeared around his eyes, but he wasn’t smiling. “If you could go ahead and show me those ugly parts now, I’d really appreciate it.”

She swallowed with an audible gulp.

“Would it help if I promise not to be a judgmental prick about it?”

“You can’t promise that,” she whispered. “You don’t even know what I’m going to say.”

“I don’t need to know. I know you, and that’s all that matters.” One of his hands found hers and he laced their fingers together. “Whatever you say, it won’t change anything, but I need to know the whole story.”

“I did not lie to you.”

“I’m not saying you did.”

She squirmed. “It’s so embarrassing.”

“Prue, honey, I’m kind of freaking out here. Can you give me a clue where this is headed?”

She didn’t want to freak him out, but she struggled to find the words. How did she relay the story of what had happened in a way that wouldn’t lead him to conclude the worst about her? Her heartbeat thrummed, rushing past her ears with a deafening throb.

But there was nowhere to hide, not from him, or from the truth.

The fortifying breath she drew into her lungs wobbled. “I was a nerd.”

His eyebrows shot up.

“I mean, I am a nerd,” she corrected. “But I was one in high school and college, too. No boys showed any interest in me. Ever.”

A smug smile touched his mouth. “Morons.”

“Which is why it was so bizarre when this guy in my organic chemistry class at MIT suddenly asked me out one day.”

His satisfied smile mashed into a thin-lipped line.

“Aron King, he was the guy.”

He quickly concealed his reaction behind an unreadable mask. “I didn’t know he went to MIT.”

“He didn’t.” The sharp bite of his treachery stung again. “It was a lie. A scam. All part of the act.”

“What act?”

“He pretended to be a dual major, like me, working on his PhD. He was the first guy who ever paid any attention to me, so I overlooked the fact that he sucked at science. He sucked at sex, too, but I’d never been with anyone else and didn’t know it could be so… different.” Warmth touched her cheeks. “So much better.”

“He’s why you don’t trust men.” Leo’s statement held a lethal edge.

“Men, yes, but also myself. I was supposed to be so smart, and when it came right down to it, I was just a stupid girl.”

“You weren’t stupid, you were conned.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yes. A big one. How old were you?”

“Twenty-one.”

The cold fury in his eyes now seethed white-hot. “And that made him, what? Thirty-one? Thirty-two?”

“Thirty-three.”

Outside, heavy rain droplets began to plop to the ground in a steady stream.

“What happened?” he asked gently.

“He fucked me and dumped me. Broke my heart. I would’ve gotten over him easily enough, except….” Knots wrenched her stomach. “It was three days before I realized he’d stolen my laptop.”

His fingers still entwined with hers, he squeezed her hand.

“I’d finished my organic chem project early, and the first tests had gone even better than I’d hoped. I was so excited. I’d made a fertilizer that helped grow vegetation in some of the driest conditions. I thought I was going to end world hunger or something ridiculous like that.” Her bitter laugh died in her throat. “I should’ve applied for a patent, but I didn’t know what I had, and… well, he stole the formula. Made a ton of money when he sold it to a Russian lab.”

Lifting her hand, Leo pressed his soft lips to her palm.

“They tweaked it a little, but it was basically my formula.” She stared down at their linked hands. “They weaponized it.”

“Jesus. Prue…?”

Emotion tightened her throat, and painfully, she forced out the words. “It was used exactly one time before it was banned.”

“King did it. He used it in that village in Iraq.”

“Almost a year after he stole my laptop. He killed eleven people. T-two children.” Her tears spilled over and she wiped at them with the back of her hand. “I-I-I saw pictures.”

“Oh my God, baby.”

Her chin trembled as her words came faster. “After that, I sort of went into a downward spiral. Everyone assumed I was heartbroken over him, and I didn’t say anything to correct them. I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone what I’d done. My doctor prescribed something to help me sleep, but one night, I was drinking and…. I wasn’t trying to kill myself, but that’s what everyone thought.”

“Prue.” Every single emotion wrapped around her name.

“The thing is, I didn’t care. I knew I shouldn’t mix the pills with alcohol. The warning was right there on the bottle, on a bright yellow label. But all I could think about were those kids. Their little faces.”

With a tug on her hand, he pulled her to him.

She slipped onto his lap and buried her face in the side of his neck. “I didn’t care what happened, I just wanted to get those pictures out of my mind.”

His fingers pressed lightly under her chin, tipping her face up, and his soft lips brushed over hers. The kiss was unbearably tender and contained more healing than the years of therapy she’d gone through.

When he broke the kiss, he pressed his forehead to hers.

“I’m sorry for what you’ve been through.” His hand buried in her hair, he cradled her head. “Please believe me when I say, if I ever have a chance to make it right for you, I will.”

She dropped her head to his shoulder and they fell quiet, listening to the rain.

“Does it freak you out?”

“That you’re a chemist?” His lips touched her forehead with a light kiss. “No, it doesn’t freak me out.”

Her smile faltered and she pulled back so she could see his face. “It’s been years. I don’t see things that way anymore. I’m… stronger now.”

“You’re amazing.” His hand massaged the tight muscles of her neck. “And you don’t have to explain it to me.”

“I don’t?”

Intolerable pain filled his eyes, the agony so deep and dark, it snatched her breath. “I’ve never wanted to die, but I know what it is not to want to live anymore.”

The confession notched a wound on her heart. “You have?”

“I can’t describe it.” He pushed his fist into his chest. “But it sits right here. All of it.”

“Like a black hole,” she said softly. “It sucks everything in until it’s impossibly heavy. Eventually, it collapses in on itself.”

“Yes.” His answer leaked out as a hoarse whisper.

“You try to pretend it isn’t there, or to forget about it for a while.” Her voice wavered with the memories of those months where darkness and despair devoured her. “But everything that replaces the emptiness is a thousand times worse.”

A flash of lightning brightened the gray sky, and an angry rumble of thunder followed.

His hands moved to her thighs and he shifted her so her legs straddled his hips. The hard length of his erection nudged against her core. He gripped her nape and pulled her head down to his.

“Not everything is worse,” he murmured against her mouth.