Chapter Twenty-Six

Eli

Home.

I haven't had one in a long time. I had a luxurious apartment in Manhattan, but that wasn't home, just a place to take a shower and sleep when I got too tired from work. Maybe that house where Merry and I lived was home, but there was just the two of us living in it.

Now, as I gaze across the dining table, I can see three other faces - Quinn, Clive and Marianne, all sharing a meal with me and smiling.

I can't help but smile myself as I pause in the act of cutting the sunny-side up eggs on my plate.

So this is what a home feels like. This is a family.

"What are you thinking of?" Quinn asks as she takes a bite off a strip of bacon.

I break the yolk and the bright yellow liquid creates a puddle on my plate. "Just that I'm still not used to eating with so many people."

"So many?" Her eyebrows crease. "There's only four of us. Janice isn't even here."

She claims to be trying some new diet that involves drinking only some kind of juice for breakfast.

I eat the eggs with a bit of bacon. "Or maybe I still can't believe you and Clive live here now."

"Well, our moving-in party was cut short." She takes a bite out of her slice of toast this time. "And then we had to leave. Maybe that's why it still feels like we haven't settled in."

Maybe.

"But look at Clive." Quinn gestures to her son. Our son. "He's right at home."

He does look perfectly happy talking to Marianne while eating his toast.

"Did you see what he did to his room?"

I nod. In the few days Quinn and I were away, he's turned that bedroom into a superhero haven with posters on the wall, his comic books on a shelf, and some of his old action figures on display.

"Give him a few years and he'll redecorate," I say.

"Those posters better not be replaced by pin-up girls."

I say nothing.

Quinn sighs. "Sometimes, I wish they wouldn't grow up. And then I see all the dirty laundry and deal with the tantrums and I take back that wish."

"Don't forget the messy meals," I remark as Marianne drops a few pieces of cereal on her lap.

Clive grabs a table napkin and helps her clean the mess up.

I beam with pride. "Marianne is lucky to have Clive as her older brother."

"Yeah," Quinn agrees. "Older brothers are so cool. Take it from me."

Of course, she's an expert.

I reach for my glass of water. "I just hope they'll always get along."

~

Maybe that was too much to hope for.

As I rush inside Clive's bedroom after hearing shouts, cries and even a crash from upstairs, I find Marianne on the floor wailing. Clive stands near his desk with head bowed, stooped shoulders and fists trembling. Tears brim in his eyes. Near his feet, I see the broken mouse.

I think I know what happened.

"What happened?" Quinn asks as she enters the room out of breath.

Clive doesn't answer. Marianne wails louder.

Quinn steps forward.

"Clive - "

I lift a hand to silence Quinn. Then I bend over to pick up the broken mouse.

"You threw the mouse, didn't you, Clive?"

He still doesn't answer. Tears stream down his cheeks.

"Clive, how could you?" Quinn raises her voice.

"He didn't mean to, though." I straighten up and put the broken mouse on the desk. "He was probably playing on the computer and Marianne started bothering him, asking him to play with her. When he ignored her, she must have grabbed the mouse or something and he must have died in the game, so then out of frustration, he threw the mouse. And Marianne got shocked and upset."

How do I know all that? It's just because that's what I would have done.

"Is that true, Clive?" Quinn asks.

I turn to my daughter with a questioning glance. "Marianne?"

Marianne runs out of the room sobbing. Quinn starts to run after her but stops to glance at me. I give her a nod.

You take care of Marianne. I'll take care of Clive.

She understands and leaves. I kneel in front of Clive and place my hands on his shoulders.

"Clive, I know you're upset. You're upset because Marianne bothered you. And now you're upset because you broke the mouse and scared her. I understand. That doesn't mean what you did is right."

His shoulders tremble as more tears leak out of his eyes.

I pull him close to me and he begins to sob. I rub his back as I try to find the right words to say.

"See. This is what happens when you lose your temper. You end up hurting the people you care about, but most of all, you end up hurting yourself. Basically, you lose."

He sobs louder. I hold him tighter.

"I know you were upset that you died in your game, but you shouldn't have let it get to you. You could have just walked away. Or taken a few deep breaths. Or asked your mother for help. It's hard, I know. Believe me, I know. But if you had, you'd hurt less." I push him gently away. "You understand what I'm saying, right?"

He nods.

I stroke his cheek. "I know you do. You're a very smart guy. You're like me, after all."

The corners of his lips twitch up.

I smile. "And it seems you have a temper like me, too. But you have to control it. You can't let it control you."

Clive nods.

I wipe his tears. "Now, that's enough. Crying isn't going to make anything better now. Don't worry about the mouse. I have a spare somewhere."

He sniffs. I look around for a box of tissue but don't see any.

"Go to the bathroom and blow your nose," I tell him. "I'll talk to your sister."

He goes to the bathroom. I cross the hall over to Marianne's bedroom. I find Quinn and Marianne sitting on the edge of the bed. When Marianne sees me, she crawls under the sheets.

I've seen this before.

Quinn walks over to me. "How's Clive?"

"He's drying his tears," I answer. "I already talked to him."

"Did you get mad at him?"

I shake my head. "It's not his fault he lost his temper. I just told him to get a better grip on it next time. It's easier said than done, but I think he understood."

Quinn nods. "He shouldn't have thrown the mouse, though."

"It can be replaced."

"But what if he hurt Marianne?"

She has a point.

"Anyway, I'll talk to him, too." Quinn squeezes my shoulder. "You talk to Marianne. I told her what she did was wrong and she understands, but she seems to think you love Clive more than her now."

I sigh.

Quinn leaves the room and I sit on Marianne's bed.

"Marianne, you know that's not true," I tell her. "I love both you and Clive. You're both my children."

"But you're mad at me," she says from under the blanket.

"Yes, because what you did was wrong, but that doesn't mean I don't love you anymore or that I love your brother more than you."

"You gave him a computer. That's why he won't play with me anymore. Why did you give him a computer?"

I pull the blanket off her. "Marianne, Clive asked me for a computer and he's been a good boy. You love your brother, don't you? Don't you want him to be happy?"

"But you've never given me anything," she complains.

I glance around the bedroom. "Who do you think gave you everything in this room? You're lucky, Marianne, because you have everything you need and want. You've never had to ask for anything."

"I asked for a sheep and you didn't give me one."

I frown. "That's an exception. And an unreasonable request."

She sits up. "Then will you give me something else if I ask?"

"That depends on the request."

Marianne falls silent.

"Well, what is it?"

"Can I have Mommy's old music box?" she asks.

I pause. That reminds me. I haven't really talked to her about that room yet, or about her mother. I only mentioned that the pretty room did belong to her mother. I haven't had the chance to explain because, well, a lot of stuff happened what with me finding out that Clive was my son and then Quinn and I dealing with Banks. I guess now's my chance.

I take her hand. "Come with me."

~

"I see she's okay now," Quinn says as she enters Meredith's old room.

Marianne is on the floor playing with some of Merry's old toys. The music box she asked for is right beside her.

I nod. "I've told her that this room belongs to her now and that she can play with anything that's here, though maybe not the tea sets. I don't want her breaking them and hurting herself. Plus some of them are actually antiques that cost a fortune."

"That's good."

"I've told her a bit about Merry, too. The rest of the stories I'll tell her later."

"Well, you've got plenty of time." Quinn reaches for my hand. "And I'm sure Merry would love that. She must be smiling right now watching over both of you."

I glance at Merry's picture on the shelf. I sure hope so.

I squeeze her hand. "How's Clive?"

"Better. He's playing on the computer again."

My eyebrows crease. "But he doesn't have a mouse."

Quinn shrugs.

Either he changed the controls or he's playing a different game.

"Well, that's good," I say. "It seems like this issue's been resolved. Let's hope it doesn't happen again."

Quinn laughs.

I give her a puzzled look. "What? Did I say something funny?"

"You're funny, hoping that they won't fight anymore. Trust me, they will. My brothers and I were always fighting. That's part of being a family."

"Oh."

"Welcome to your crazy family." She pats my shoulder and grins. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it."